Jesus and time travel

[LoneSage]

Punishing Job for being loyal? WTF is that?

Turning Lot's wife into salt was a real dick move too.

 

[DevilRedeemed]

Turning Lot's wife into salt was a real dick move too.

well back in Roman times - at some point - salt was used as cash (hence the word sallary) - so he probably just bought the wife and made Lot a rich man. God was the fucking man - he could buy and sell your family - *click* - like that.

 

[evil wasabi]

I think he meant "Gamera". Note the intelligent design.

ha. excellent.

 

[ForeverSublime]

The entire bible is a love story between Jesus and John. I personally view the "resurrection" as being symbolic that even death could not stop their eternal love.

"Reserrection"?

 

[HeartlessNinny]

Stop right there. According to Christian faiths (which, again, I am no part of), being gay is wrong. I didn't say I think it's wrong, I'm telling you for them. I'm speaking for them. Where did you read this? If it's been changed, where were you given this knowledge? I could care less if Jesus was a kung fu fighting, womanizing pastry chef. You said that what they believe against... he does. It's just pretty crazy not to be offended. I know they will be. I no longer play for their team, but your claims are astounding.

I looked up one of them. John was reclining on Jesus's bosom. Big deal, the man's god. I think your fantasy about what was written has gone a little too far. Again, I think the whole thing is a book of bullshit, but you seem to want to go pretty far to piss off the Christians on this website.

Okay, Spike, here's your mistake. What we think of as being gay today, that's not what people thought of as homosexual in times of yore. For example, during Shakespeare's era, if you were consumed with the desire to bang hot young guys' assholes all day long and had zero interest in women, that was fine unless you actually acted on your desires. You weren't gay unless you actually fucked men exclusively. You could even sleep in the same bed as a man and cuddle, and no one would consider you gay unless you actually did it.

So don't impose modern senses of sexuality on the past, it doesn't make any sense.

I'm not an expert on that era's sexuality, but I'd venture to say they just wanted you to get married and have kids. If Joseph fucked a few dudes, say, I bet no one would care as long as he took care of Mary. Mind you, I'm speculating, but it's an educated guess of sorts.

So, by my logic, Jesus could well have been considered gay or bi by our standards, but straight by ancient standards. So possibly, the Bible (full of shit though it is) could still condemn homosexuality and have a dude-lovin' savior at the same time.

Here's another news flash for the Bible-thumpers: Jesus wasn't white. He was a fucking arab. If he tried to get on a plane nowadays, he'd probably be detained and searched or something.

 

[norton9478]

I understand why christians think being a gay is a sin and is wrong tho....

But I don't understand why they are so fucking homophobic...

I mean fuck, if it is so bad, why didn't it make the 10 commandments????

Homosexuality is somewhat worse than eating shelfish... But clearly not as bad as greed or jealousy... or heteroadultry.

 

[Average Joe]

Does anyone actually find vaginas attractive?

Breasts are nice, but vaginas?

ew

 

[DevilRedeemed]

Does anyone actually find vaginas attractive?

very, very much.

 

[Dr Shroom]

Does anyone actually find vaginas attractive?

Breasts are nice, but vaginas?

ew

Remind me of tacos.

 

[RAINBOW PONY]

Jesus was GAY

*religious nuts heads explode*

 

[Spike Spiegel]

I'm only defending people that seem to have a hard time defending themselves. I think Jesus was a nice little magician that fooled a lot of people, at best.

The accusation was silly, and I thought it deserved a reply.

 

[RAINBOW PONY]

that seem to have a hard time defending themselves.

Ya know, like RETARDS?

 

[LoneSage]

Does anyone actually find vaginas attractive?

Breasts are nice, but vaginas?

ew

pretty sure I made a thread on that once and people were like WHAT ARE YOU SOME KINDA QUEERBOY