REAL DOLL FUND & The Conflictions of Global Society. a/k/a "LatexBungRider" out.

Status
Not open for further replies.

Mike Shagohod

Stray Dog Grunt
Joined
May 16, 2002
Posts
13,947
REAL DOLL FUND & The Conflictions of Global Society. a/k/a "LatexBungRider" out.

[highlight][EDITOR'S NOTE: Merc at his most legendary.][/highlight]

Well in that other thread about TMI/Jerking off I had this to say...

Here I am at age 30, and now due to being a father of 2 kids and the wife not having fully recovered from giving birth to Jake + she lacks the "the drive" I do, I have recently purchased this Pussy & Ass Mold of porn starlet McKenzie Lee.

-------------------------------------------------------------
MODS please do not take down the 3 thumbnail
pics, they link to the bigger picture, this is for educative
use, not promotion of porn.



http://fapomatic.com/show.php?loc=0903&f=psng01.png

Doc Johnson (the people who made the mold) state it should give a lifetime of pleasure to the user.
Well I bought this sucker last Sunday, and it's only Saturday today (SIX DAYS!) and I've worn the asshole
out on this mold, just look at the tears I caused this bitch...


http://fapomatic.com/show.php?loc=0903&f=psng02.png


http://fapomatic.com/show.php?loc=0903&f=psng03.png

No woman tears like this! It's due to the intermediate grade latex used to construct these molds, and quite frankly it pisses me the fuck off. I thought my days of right handed combat were over, but just like with a 1st generation Cyber Skin pussy back in '02 or '03... this thing hasn't been able to withstand my sex drive (at least the asshole can't). The pussy is still fine, but it's wearing out on the ribbed massage texture too! I paid fucking $99.99 for this slut and already she's torn up? This is why I call myself MIKE THE BARBARIAN or Remus Shagohod... no woman (probably save Belladonna) can match my sex drive nor powering sex tool. Apparently the UR3 Latex McKenzie Lee pussy & ass mold cannot either. The thing does bring wonderous joy and lip quivering, "oh shit!" orgasms though once you get to pumping away on either orifice, thing is I only banged the butthole like 4 times and could probably take ONE MORE session and split down the middle!

This means I'd have to keep buying one of these (or one like it) more or less every 2 or 3 weeks, which is bullshit. This is why I NEED me a Real Doll which are made so well they can withstand up to 300 degrees of heat, go into water, and take a pounding and not get messed up... so they say, and they'd better for $6,000 starting and up to probably as much as $20,000 bucks... and even the wife agrees I should buy one to give her a rest too. Though we'd still be getting it on, and I'm always much nicer to her than a mold or RD. So if anyone would like to help me purchase one, (Real Doll) I've been joking with the wife I need to start a Help Mike Buy A Real Doll Fund with it's own P.O. BOX registered for incoming donations. I'm just a man of lust, fire and war. I seriously cannot go a day (when not working or actively working on a project) without busting a nut AT LEAST 3 times a day, and wanking sessions are prolonged hour and a half to two hours long before I cum.
----------------------------------------------------------

rastanthronechairstoriecr9.png

Anyhow my fellow NG.COM brethren, this is my sad, sad tale of truth,
but bring a bottle of Whiskey and some Kalauh and Coke and a mutton
joint/turkey leg, and sit by and listen to my "other" tales of high adventure.

Well tonight I decided (against better judgment) to go ahead and purchase the Belladonna UR3 mold...


http://fapomatic.com/show.php?loc=0904&f=bella_mold_01.jpg


http://fapomatic.com/show.php?loc=0904&f=bella_mold_02.jpg

This thing is awesome for eating her pussy, and I thoroughly enjoyed licking her clit and sucking on her labia minora and tongue fucking that asshole... but my original concerns were apparently RIGHT. As you can see, Doc Johnson also did a mold of her hands opening herself. It looks yummy... but her hands get in the way of maximum penetration!, and now I'm out of $139.99 this time, as McKenzie Lee (the mold) is no more. Anyhow, I've known most of you guys through better or worse for six years, and I have no shame whatsoever in asking, but seriously... with the parental responsibilities I have now, and lack of time for fucking the wife; + the fact I have until at least June or July before any kind of fucking could be practical... and even then, things will never be what they were... I NEED A GODDAMNED REAL DOLL!

Like most, I'm not made of money. I work hard for what I do have, but my sexual thirst just can't quenched through these lower end (but nicely built) sexual toys for men. TonK and others have started funds to get ppl stuff in the past, well... now I'm asking if anyone here wouldn't mind sending me donations to help me in my quest towards purchasing one of these beauties ??? AND YES I'M BEING SERIOUS HERE, this isn't a joke thread, though I'm sure they'll be plenty of hot breathing to go around. And I'm okay with that. It be different if I was some hard up virgin or something, but I've had my fair share of chicks and I'm married. This is purely a Pragmatic "alternative" to slake my sex drive and to give the wife a break + give me back some sanity. I'm seriously loosing my mind over this shit. I hate spending all this money just to find out what I spent doesn't work the way it should. Probably most people who buy those toys like the ones above (Realistic Vaginas & Ass) use them once a week, for me it's like twice a day.

On top of that I'd be boning the wife. There are a few people who owe me favors from 4, 8, and even 12 years ago. Some who owe me in the ball park of $300.00 and I never collected. They'll be seeing me in full American Yakuza leather jacketed gear soon enough... they owe me. Ya'll don't owe me shit, and I'm not really expecting anything but probably a good laugh out of this thread, only I'm dead fucking serious. I don't have a P.O. BOX set up yet for this, but I figured if any might be sympathetic to *World Harmony/Peace* you might post that you can at least send $10.00USD. It's a good working number, and anything more than that is a blessing indeed. Guess I'd owe some of you a favor (or a bit of cash within reason) in the future. If you're serious, I'll give you a PM and give you an address you can send carefully concealed cash money in an envelope to, or whom to make out a Money Order to. PAYPAL isn't an option for me, so it have to be one of the two means of donation. I do feel however, world peace hangs in the balance, as I'd hate to step out on my wife one day and do what I did to McKenzie Lee's ass mold to a real woman, not meaning to but lost in the euphoria and anger of the detritus overmind... or lose all sanity and become a T-800 running around with a rock hard pecker.

:tickled:

Seriously though, I don't have to worry about a mid life crisis, I'm damn near 31 and I'm just burnt out. All I really care to do is WORK, eat/sleep, spend time with family, read a few books... And fuck away and Go! Go! Go! GO! GO! Though I don't like the idea of extra martial activities nor throwing my dick on the crap table so to speak. This I see as a worthy and necessary measure of both cocksmanship and sanity.


Lucha-Rastan.png
Melissa.png

{Awaiting The Day My RD Party Girl Comes Home!}

Sincerely...

:vik::mr_t:
Michael Rastan
 
Last edited by a moderator:

kernow

So Many Posts
No Time
For Games.
Joined
Sep 1, 2001
Posts
31,180
Serious, serious problems man, you have them.
 

NeoDragoN

custom rank,
20 Year Member
Joined
Feb 6, 2001
Posts
7,378
Seriously mental wtf stuff.

Do we really wanna know all this? Do we?
 

Mike Shagohod

Stray Dog Grunt
Joined
May 16, 2002
Posts
13,947
Seriously mental wtf stuff.

Do we really wanna know all this? Do we?

Well Belladonna has the statement (on her website)

"You know you wanna' look at me."

So I guess I'll retort your question with...

YOU KNOW YOU LIVE TO READ SHIT LIKE THIS!
yOU kNOW YOU WANT TO KNOW. STOP FRONTIN'
YOU WANT TO KNOW!


:loco:
 

OrochiEddie

Kobaïa Is De Hündïn
Joined
Aug 22, 2001
Posts
19,316
I think you might want to find ways to curve your drive than feed it more. Once you get to real dolls I'd say thats in the addict region
 

ki_atsushi

So Many Posts
No Time
For Games.
Joined
Mar 27, 2005
Posts
23,647
Hey Mike, I don't want to offend you or anything... but I think you do need counseling.

You have a seriously unhealthy addiction to sex.

No one should feel the need to jerk off 3+ times a day. Jesus, my balls would look like raisins if I did that.

P.S. - If I donate, you'd have to let me fuck it when I come over. :tickled:
 

Mike Shagohod

Stray Dog Grunt
Joined
May 16, 2002
Posts
13,947
Hey Mike, I don't want to offend you or anything... but I think you do need counseling.

You have a seriously unhealthy addiction to sex.

No one should feel the need to jerk off 3+ times a day. Jesus, my balls would look like raisins if I did that.

P.S. - If I donate, you'd have to let me fuck it when I come over. :tickled:

I've been in counseling before, don't do shit and seriously (not joking either)... I almost seduced the counselor giving the sessions. ALMOST but not quite. See I disagree here though bro, and no you cannot offend me.

I personally don't see anything wrong with having a voracious sex drive, if one can be fortunate enough to be with someone who can match it. For me this isn't the case, but it's not my wife's fault or anyone elses. Luckily, I live in a day and age where things like The Real Doll are a viable option to extra marital affairs and dumb shit like that. If this were a thousand or so years ago, I would've simply conquered a nearby province with others of my ilk and formed me a Seraglio (more commonly called a Harem), and back then I don't believe the STDs were anything like now. But we're not back 1,000 + years ago, it's 2009 and I don't see anything wrong with getting my sexual fix with an RD. These so called "realistic vagina" things are alright but it's still seriously weird.

I find that women generally are more pragmatic about these things, as to buying sex toys or dolls and shit. It's men (the very people who boast much) that generally tag onto ideals/concepts a certain "Stigma" if you will. This brings one to another question in parenthood too. If you could buy your son something like a Real Doll so he'd bang away on that, or let him possibly contract a life threatening disease from some slut, what would one do? On one hand that idea is creepy, on the other hand, it shows "caring". Right now I'm concerned about me. I see a world that I work and partake in, but generally don't feel connected with because it's all been done before us. Everything's by-the-numbers. WHY NOT enjoy ourselves in the areas that interest or pleasure us. Seriously, if there were Step ford Wife type Sexaroids, far more advanced than the average Real Doll... I'd save up and buy one, maybe a few of them.

A man's place is to work, fight and fuck. Why things had to get more complicated than that I'll never know. I appreciate your concern though Jordan. I'll take any donations you might want to send... but trust me, you don't want any sloppy seconds from where this Barbarian cock has been.

:vik:
 

HeartlessNinny

Heartlessness is a virtue
Joined
Sep 16, 2005
Posts
14,664
Hey Merc, I know we all joke about it (well... sort of), but if your sex drive is really a problem that you'd like to solve, let me make a suggestion:

Anti-depressants. Even if you're not feeling blue, they can really curb your sex drive. Don't worry, they don't stamp it out or anything... Just take it down a few notches. I hesitate to bring up this context, but they sometimes prescribe them to sex offenders to help them keep their urges under control. It's something I'd definitely consider if I were you.

Try that and try a different counsellor — it's crazy to give up after only trying one or two, you have to find one that works.

Honestly Merc. A Real Doll isn't going to solve your problem. If anything, it might make it worse. And hell, even if it doesn't, imagine how foolish you'll feel when you break it and realize you're out thousands of dollars.

Get some help buddy. I think you know better than any of us... You could really use it.
 

ratson

Medical Marijuana., Pfffttt......, Dumbass 'murika
Joined
Apr 27, 2008
Posts
7,291
i don't know why everyone is overreacting on the subject at least merc's honest about it.
And in need of counseling goes for most members(90%, the other 10% should get lost)here.
So were can we send our contributions?
And just in case:i'm not sucking up to Merc,i don't even know him except from here,i don't give a fuck if he likes me or not but it never hurts to help.
So let's see that ca$hflow rolling in his direction for his doll and you will have one happy family.The whole fuckin world gave money for the tsunami disaster a few years back,no one knows what happened to the money and almost no one complains.In this case at least you know where your money went.:buttrock:
 

tsukaesugi

Holy shit, it's a ninja!,
Joined
Jun 30, 2002
Posts
6,933
This thread really should be shared with the rest of the Internet.

This transcends the Warroom.

This is the Stuff of Legend.
 

Ghost-Dog

Presented by the Florida Department of Economic Op
Joined
Aug 22, 2000
Posts
7,886
I nominate this thread for "best of".

And I feel for you Mike, my wife is due in 3 weeks, so I'm on my own so to speak for a few more months. As far as this Realdoll is concerned, are you absolutely positive it's more durable than the other.. apparatus.. you were using? Sounds like a pretty expensive device to go buck wild on. Do they come with warranties?
 

payment_due

Arcade Trading Room Troll? Well its about damn t
Joined
Aug 31, 2008
Posts
2,060
you're on an internet forum asking for donations to buy a sex toy?

come on that's pathetic.
 

Lagduf

If I change my Custom, Rank. I lose The 15YR Tag.,
Joined
Dec 25, 2002
Posts
40,559
CHOP THEM HANDS OFF LADIES!

Im just amazed they make fake poons with fake hands touching it.

Would you prefer fake poons with real hands?
 

abasuto

Orgy Hosting Mod
Joined
May 26, 2004
Posts
22,199
Hey Merc, I know we all joke about it (well... sort of), but if your sex drive is really a problem that you'd like to solve, let me make a suggestion:

Anti-depressants.

Psych meds should be banned.

If Merc wants to lower his sex drive, he can just watch the Lifetime channel. 8 hours of that shit and you won't jerk off for a week.
 

neo_moe

Been There., Done That., It Was Shit.,
Joined
Apr 20, 2007
Posts
7,884
the time has come to set aside childish things

while I dont think Obama had this exact situation in mind, it is absolutely relevant here. You are a 31 year old married man with 2 kids who is asking for donations for a sex toy. I'm not trying to be mean, but come on man, you can't be serious.....

Even putting all that weirdness aside, would you honestly feel comfortable using one of those things. I mean, no matter how cool, open-minded, progressive, or kinky any woman is....if your wife saw you/knew you were sticking it to a glorified blow-up doll twice a day, she would lose so much respect for you. Is that something you would be willing to risk?


I could go on about why this is so wrong, but I am gonna stop here in the event this is a joke post...
 

Lagduf

If I change my Custom, Rank. I lose The 15YR Tag.,
Joined
Dec 25, 2002
Posts
40,559
while I dont think Obama had this exact situation in mind, it is absolutely relevant here. You are a 31 year old married man with 2 kids who is asking for donations for a sex toy. I'm not trying to be mean, but come on man, you can't be serious.....

Even putting all that weirdness aside, would you honestly feel comfortable using one of those things. I mean, no matter how cool, open-minded, progressive, or kinky any woman is....if your wife saw you/knew you were sticking it to a glorified blow-up doll twice a day, she would lose so much respect for you. Is that something you would be willing to risk?


I could go on about why this is so wrong, but I am gonna stop here in the event this is a joke post...

This post is full of fail.
 

Mike Shagohod

Stray Dog Grunt
Joined
May 16, 2002
Posts
13,947
Hey Merc, I know we all joke about it (well... sort of), but if your sex drive is really a problem that you'd like to solve, let me make a suggestion:

Anti-depressants. Even if you're not feeling blue, they can really curb your sex drive. Don't worry, they don't stamp it out or anything... Just take it down a few notches. I hesitate to bring up this context, but they sometimes prescribe them to sex offenders to help them keep their urges under control. It's something I'd definitely consider if I were you.

Try that and try a different counsellor — it's crazy to give up after only trying one or two, you have to find one that works.

Honestly Merc. A Real Doll isn't going to solve your problem. If anything, it might make it worse. And hell, even if it doesn't, imagine how foolish you'll feel when you break it and realize you're out thousands of dollars.

Get some help buddy. I think you know better than any of us... You could really use it.

Been there, done that. Meds are overrated, and it's thanks to meds that a lot of what I wanted to do in life (Military, Truck Driving, etc.) got fucked, as the side effects basically made me ineligible. I came back from those dissapointments harder & stronger and made lemonade out of lemons. But this time I'm all used up. Outside of my uniformed armed presence of an official capacity... I just no longer have patience. Besides I don't need no stinking meds. I need the approximation of how a man's life SHOULD BE. And that's I walk in from work, take a hot shower for 45 minutes, grab a bite to eat, then get some ass, then get some sleep. I'd prefer it be my wife of course, but let's face it. Few have my drive, so at this point I really don't give a flying fuck if it's flesh & blood or silicone rubber ready to play. Thing is, it's odd banging away on some stupid torso, I need the whole body and furthermore the one's at the pron shop are blow up and oh so clown looking... and I will fuck only the best of the "Girl In A Closet" variety.

:mr_t:

i don't know why everyone is overreacting on the subject at least merc's honest about it.
And in need of counseling goes for most members(90%, the other 10% should get lost)here.
So were can we send our contributions?
And just in case:i'm not sucking up to Merc,i don't even know him except from here,i don't give a fuck if he likes me or not but it never hurts to help.
So let's see that ca$hflow rolling in his direction for his doll and you will have one happy family.The whole fuckin world gave money for the tsunami disaster a few years back,no one knows what happened to the money and almost no one complains.In this case at least you know where your money went.:buttrock:

Finally someone around here can be equally pragmatic about it all. It's got nothing to do with desperation either, but rather a cost effective means to assist me in my purchase. In truth, I knew before I made this thread that I wouldn't get a dime out of anyone for one reason or another. I made this thread because I'm bored more than anything else, and I guess I've become like Neobuyer in some respects. Mainstream living is taking me back into "the dangerzone" that was once my life, roaming around, getting into shit. I've become about as domesticated as I'm likely ever to be and outside of loving my kids, I'm sick of everything else. The whole by-the-numbers hum drum of routine daily life is flipping me the fuck out, but not in an explosive way, just one of absolute ambivalence, and quite frankly that's an odd place to be.

Only if someone is in need of help, or if I have a reason to serve/protect a vested "official" interest, do I actually give a damn. And even then it's for the money. I want something interesting to happen in life on a scale so large we'd practically have to TRANSCEND ourselves in order to over come that hardship, but we're not likely to see even that. Thus I stay this 21st Century equivalent of a Mountain Man. Out here, usually riding alone the way I prefer it, but partying HARD when and where I chose, and with the company I keep.

This thread really should be shared with the rest of the Internet.

This transcends the Warroom.

This is the Stuff of Legend.

Kind of what I was going for. Merc becomes "an official Meme". Fuck this boring everyday bullshit. I can be codenamed SUPER DRIVE, Horny Man Extraordinaire :tickled:

Naaah, I'm just miffed because even the Security Industry is effected by the shitty economy. I'm averaging 16 hours a fucking week right now! I'm a busy body who needs to work (moreso for a reason to be than the money, the money is but a bonus) at least 45 hours a week. I just have too much time on my hands whereas I was working, sleeping, and having ENOUGH TIME with my overly rambunctious 3 year old daughter that I'm ready to go back to work. Right now my wife has an excuse... she's recovering from giving birth to Jake. But when she's not, damn it, we've got to find a way where AT LEAST 3 times a week is in order. This "just because I have kids now" thing is effin' bullshit and I refuse to accept that and won't.

I nominate this thread for "best of".

And I feel for you Mike, my wife is due in 3 weeks, so I'm on my own so to speak for a few more months. As far as this Realdoll is concerned, are you absolutely positive it's more durable than the other.. apparatus.. you were using? Sounds like a pretty expensive device to go buck wild on. Do they come with warranties?

You see, YOU GET THIS THREAD, everyone else wants to crack wise and funny. But that part was expected. It's been 7 months since her pregnancy since I've had any SEX. That's not counting the last three weeks... and then there's the realistic heal period that is to at least June before things even "feel" right as they should. I remember from when Fyana was born on this note. You can go at it earlier... but it still isn't right for a bit. So that's like 15 fucking months without SEX. That's simply unacceptable and I'm holding back punching holes in the sheetrock walls and whipping some son of a bitch out on the streets with my belt. Then there's the whole:

"Well you've got kids now and you have no sex life" is a lot of horse dump. That might be true for other people, but I'm not other people. I intend to fuck both my wife and a Real Doll, and don't have a problem with it at all. If I could have (2) Wives at this point, I would. I'd just make sure the other one couldn't bare children so this wouldn't be a problem. Between not enough hours for deploying to problem posts/sites for Security Enforcement (meaning a reason to live, as my job is an extension of me moreso than a mere job), and senselessly pouncing on a grenade (allowing my kids to be a cock block), I'm both burnt out and pissed off at the same time.

The REAL DOLL is the summit bro. Only thing better than this is if the GENOM Corporation sprang up from the ashes of a post Tokyo Mega Quake and started churning out real life Boomer Sexaroids. Then I'd dial the bitch to "Harem Duties & All Around Hang Out Friend" and she'd walk around my place when I wasn't home, armed with an AR-15 wearing lingerie.

The problem is these dolls cost so damn much money, and while I can come up with most of the money, "a little help" wouldn't hurt. If I can't depend on some of the ultra fucked up and downright other dysfucntionals here, then all is lost.

Psych meds should be banned.

If Merc wants to lower his sex drive, he can just watch the Lifetime channel. 8 hours of that shit and you won't jerk off for a week.

#1> THANK YOU.

#2> :lolz: Lifetime Movies :lolz:

#3> Only problem is, I'd probably end up wanting to see if Bruce Boxlitner gets his revenge on the corrupt town Sheriff who's framing him for murder, and seeing that his daughter doesn't have her baby in a cardboard box in a dank alley because her babydaddy took a leap off a nearby building, all the while trying to mend fences with his high school sweetheart after his wife was crushed by an 18-Wheeler.

while I dont think Obama had this exact situation in mind, it is absolutely relevant here. You are a 31 year old married man with 2 kids who is asking for donations for a sex toy. I'm not trying to be mean, but come on man, you can't be serious.....

Even putting all that weirdness aside, would you honestly feel comfortable using one of those things. I mean, no matter how cool, open-minded, progressive, or kinky any woman is....if your wife saw you/knew you were sticking it to a glorified blow-up doll twice a day, she would lose so much respect for you. Is that something you would be willing to risk?


I could go on about why this is so wrong, but I am gonna stop here in the event this is a joke post...

#1> This is a joke thread sir. Only I AM saving up for one, so in this respect I'm not really horsing around, only I am for the sake of Neo-Geo.Com where WE KNOW DRAMA. *Only I'm not.

#2> Would I "honestly feel comfortable using one OF THOSE THINGS?" Absolutely. My cock's going to feel very comfortable pounding away on one at some point in the future, I'd just like to not have to wait say, 6 months to raise the money, and then another 16 to 20 week waiting for the chick to be built and shipped to me for the $500.00 S&H charges.

#3> The wife is as pragmatic about this as I, and in fact was originally a joke she made: "You should get one of those Real Dolls to slake your drive Mike. I love you but can't keep up. Buy one, give me a rest will you." Only what she meant as a joke has turned into a possible means to lay pipe.

#4> The Nut doesn't fall far from the tree. My mother mentioned years ago (why I still don't know, though she was angry at my dad about something) that when my father went to Vietnam for his Tour of Duty between 1969 and 1970, it was her break time. Apparently, he was a breakfast, lunch, dinner AND DESERT kind of sexual dude as well, so I guess it's in the genes. She saw his Tour in Vietnam as "vacation for her pussy" and he volunteered to go to NAM rather than have to be stationed in Washington D.C. because (like me, or would that be like him?) he hates bureaucratic bullshit and the patty cake types who have no problem ordering troops to KILL others, but couldn't likely fight their way out a paper bag... or if they could, they forgot what it was like *to walk the point*

#5> The way I see it ultimately is this. I work hard (and would prefer 45 to 50 hours a week)... spend time with my family, play by the rules more or less... and what do I get? Nothing right now. I don't know about you, but my requirements in life aren't much.

A> Three Hots & a Cot = Three hot meals guaranteed & a place to sleep.
B> Family (but it can't be all you do time wise)
C> Books of interest, an occasional movie
D> Hard Work (job in a respective field I love, which I have but not enough hours)
E> SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX...
F> Road Trips/High Adventure
G> SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX...

In that order
 

Mike Shagohod

Stray Dog Grunt
Joined
May 16, 2002
Posts
13,947
Who changed the paraphrased title of this thread?
It's funny but it's not what I had originally posted up.

:spock:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top