Movie opinions thread (what have you seen, what did you think?)

[pixeljunkie]

Renfield- This is one of the biggest pieces of shit I've seen in recent memory. Written by idiots for even bigger idiots, we're talking female Ghostbusters level garbage. What makes it even worse is that the movie thinks it's super clever. Nic Cage as Dracula is awesome (even though the ridiculous fake teeth he has in makes him sound like an old man with ill fitting dentures) but he's not in it all that much because they have to make room for Awkwafina (ugh) and her subplot and every single other aspect of the movie is so incredibly lazy, dumb or mishandled it completely nullifies him being in it.

I did not have high expectations for this but man it's just depressingly dumb. It's a bottom of the barrel action comedy that just happens to have Dracula in it.

I watched this last night as well. I enjoyed some of the cartoonish gore...but man, the movie never made a case for why it should exist. Felt like an episode of a show. I also liked the recreated Legosi Drac scenes...should've done the whole movie that way. Yeah, hot steaming garbage. I honestly would've forgotten I had even watched it if I hadn't seen your post.

 

[NeoSneth]

I thought Renfield was decent as a goof-off movie. I guess i set my expectations lower than others. It's not trying to be anything special.

 

[terry.330]

Chernobyl Diaries- A bunch of idiots go on an "extreme tourism" trip to... ugh. Whatever you're thinking the movie is from the title it's that except worse. It's not found footage which is what I was expecting, that actually probably would have helped it a lot. It's dull, slow and predictable.

The Pyramid- This was supposed to be a found footage movie but they give up on that almost immediately. This was a real piece of shit, amateurish with some of the most embarrassing CG I've ever seen. Unbelievably poorly written with one of the worst endings imaginable.

Fuck you HBO Max recommendations.

 

[jro]

Beaten to Death - given the title and what reviews had me expecting, this was oddly tame, even kind of boring. Not recommended. Aussies can do very good horror (I still adore Wolf Creek), but this... not so much.

Talk to Me - pretty good, about what you'd expect from an A24 horror movie, little more artsy, deeper story than usual, still kind of brutal at times, though not at all scary IMO.

 

[terry.330]

I thought Renfield was decent as a goof-off movie. I guess i set my expectations lower than others. It's not trying to be anything special.

It's just criminal that a movie with Nic Cage as fucking Dracula is so completely mediocre. I mean Akwafina got more screen time then him ffs.

 

[terry.330]

Cabin in the Woods- A modern favorite. Sure once you've seen it the ending is kind of spoiled a little but whatever. It's so much fun and it's so well made that I can still get plenty of enjoyment out of it. The cast is great, it looks good and there's plenty of action. It's also surprisingly clever and I don't mean the internal logic of the movie because, once they get behind the scenes of the company nothing makes much sense but in the ways that it plays around with horror tropes. The archetypal characters, the monsters even the multicultural horror stuff we get glimpses of. The scene with the little girls in Japan is hilarious. This is one I can watch a couple times a year.

 

[jro]

Cabin in the Woods- A modern favorite. Sure once you've seen it the ending is kind of spoiled a little but whatever. It's so much fun and it's so well made that I can still get plenty of enjoyment out of it. The cast is great, it look good and there's plenty of action. It's a surprisingly clever and I don't mean the internal logic of the movie because once they get behind the scenes of the company nothing makes much sense but in the ways that it plays around with horror tropes. The archetypal characters, the monsters even the multicultural horror stuff we get glimpses of. The scene with the little girls in Japan is hilarious. This is one I can watch a couple times a year.

I used to watch this at least once or twice per year, gonna have to dial it back up. Fran Kranz is an underappreciated gem and it's still fun as hell to see Hemsworth do this type of thing.

 

[NeoSneth]

Exorcist 2023
This movie doesnt know what it wants to be, but it certainly isn't horror. Double the girls, double the scary? Nope. I'm not sure this would be scary 30 years ago either. It seemed they tried mixing religions as some kind of attempt to be inclusive, because they really didn't do that well either. I liked the father, but that was about it.

 

[Pinball]

Chernobyl Diaries- A bunch of idiots go on an "extreme tourism" trip to... ugh. Whatever you're thinking the movie is from the title it's that except worse. It's not found footage which is what I was expecting, that actually probably would have helped it a lot. It's dull, slow and predictable.

The Pyramid- This was supposed to be a found footage movie but they give up on that almost immediately. This was a real piece of shit, amateurish with some of the most embarrassing CG I've ever seen. Unbelievably poorly written with one of the worst endings imaginable.

Fuck you HBO Max recommendations.

Do you subscribe to this shit? Torrent it for free. Allegedly.

 

[terry.330]

Do you subscribe to this shit? Torrent it for free. Allegedly.

Why would I purposefully go out of my way to torrent garbage?

The app said "Hey you liked The Descent so you might also like this" I took a chance and they just happened to be terrible recommendations. There's also a ton of good stuff on there but I wanted to watch stuff I wasn't familiar with. Simple as that.

 

[SouthtownKid]

The Descent was fantastic. Or adequate, depending on which ending you saw.

 

[jro]

The Descent was fantastic. Or adequate, depending on which ending you saw.

I still remember the first time I watched the UK ending. I was like, WTF they basically think Americans are retarded, okay fair point.

 

[terry.330]

When I went to watch it the other day on Max I wasn't sure which version it was so I actually stopped it and pulled out my blu-ray so I could watch the good ending. Which is what ultimately lead to the lame recommendations.

The movie is fucking awesome. It's so effective at conveying the claustrophobia, panic, sense of terror etc. Then you've got all the character stuff on top that and the incredible horror and gore elements. It's just incredibly well made on all fronts.

 

[100proof]

It's so strange that after Dog Soldiers and The Descent, Neil Marshall made almost exclusively garbage. Talk about blowing your wad.

 

[terry.330]

King Solomon's Mines- Oh boy, so this is Cannon's attempt at an Indiana Jones/Romancing the Stone type thing. They even got John Rhys-Davies. It is bad and not in the fun Cannon way that some of their other are. It's a fairly big production (for Cannon) but everything still looks incredibly cheap and just kind of off. It's racist AF. The whole thing is just a mess, lots of nonsensical scenes, bizarre choices and painfully unfunny gags. Richard Chamberlin as Allen Quartermaine is about as charismatic as a damp sweater and Sharron Stone is completely miscast and annoying as hell. Wether it's a parody or not none of it works. Apparently they tried to make this into a series as it has a sequel called Allen Quartermaine and the Lost City of Gold.

 

[SouthtownKid]

King Solomon's Mines- Oh boy, so this is Cannon's attempt at an Indiana Jones/Romancing the Stone type thing. They even got John Rhys-Davies. It is bad and not in the fun Cannon way that some of their other are. It's a fairly big production (for Cannon) but everything still looks incredibly cheap and just kind of off. It's racist AF. The whole thing is just a mess, lots of nonsensical scenes, bizarre choices and painfully unfunny gags. Richard Chamberlin as Allen Quartermaine is about as charismatic as a damp sweater and Sharron Stone is completely miscast and annoying as hell. Wether it's a parody or not none of it works. Apparently they tried to make this into a series as it has a sequel called Allen Quartermaine and the Lost City of Gold.

Based on a Victorian era English writer's series of books about a hunter living in South Africa. Thus the racism. On a side note, the character has also been played by Patrick Swayze and Sean Connery (Connery in that League of Extraordinary Gentlemen movie, which was a disaster on a whole other level).

 

[terry.330]

Based on a Victorian era English writer's series of books about a hunter living in South Africa. Thus the racism.

Eh I'd be inclined to agree if it was just old fashioned racist caricatures but when you have the main character calling people "rag heads" and "camel jockey" I have to go with it just being the 80s.

 

[jro]

When I went to watch it the other day on Max I wasn't sure which version it was so I actually stopped it and pulled out my blu-ray so I could watch the good ending. Which is what ultimately lead to the lame recommendations.

The movie is fucking awesome. It's so effective at conveying the claustrophobia, panic, sense of terror etc. Then you've got all the character stuff on top that and the incredible horror and gore elements. It's just incredibly well made on all fronts.

It's so strange that after Dog Soldiers and The Descent, Neil Marshall made almost exclusively garbage. Talk about blowing your wad.

To my own detriment, I honestly do still very much enjoy Doomsday. It's less a movie than it is a collection of completely insane shorts, i.e. the initial infiltration, the castle fight, the BBQ, the chase. It's objectively terrible but entertaining as hell.

I sort of like it the first time but then I tried re-watching Centurion one time and almost fell asleep after 30 minutes, coulda sworn it wasn't so bad but it is.

Anyway... I watched the highly-regarded The Boy Behind the Door - it was okay. The two lead kid actors, damn, both very good, hopefully neither needs therapy in the future. The rest of the movie was nowhere near what reviews said. Little tension I guess but most of that goes away 30 minutes in unless you hate women (no spoilers, but ugh). It was fine, but nothing near the gem reviews might have you expect.

 

[SouthtownKid]

Eh I'd be inclined to agree if it was just old fashioned racist caricatures but when you have the main character calling people "rag heads" and "camel jockey" I have to go with it just being the 80s.

I was rereading an old Roy Thomas/Neal Adams 1969 issue of X-Men a while back, and Cyclops suddenly busted out the "camel jockey" line on some guys in Egypt. It was kind of shocking language to see today, but in Cyclops' defense... there were in fact camels present, and the guys in question were riding them. So, factually correct.

 

[wataru330]

Get the Gringo.

Fun little romp, totally obvious why it was direct to video.

Caught this, and TimeCop (which predicts the rise of a trumpian figure to president pretty early in the grand scheme of things) on Pluto TV this week.

Between these, and the Svengoolie episodes I’ve been making a point to watch this month, it’s been very nostalgic.

Not only due to the movies being old-the way I’m watching them (as background while doing other stuff/commercial interruptions) is filling a gap.

Tl;dr- MeTV (either over the air or on FRNDLY app) and Pluto TV are a nice walk down memory lane.

 

[terry.330]

The Void- Some decent Lovecraftian cosmic horror mixed with your typical strangers trapped in a building scenario. It's alright, not terrible but not great. The main problem is that the lead actor is just terrible. It's also a little clunky plot wise, the miscarriage subplot is feels forced. It's very practical effect heavy but it feels like they didn't quite have a handle on how to shoot the effects shots. Some dodgy camera work that is a disservice to the creatures. Still there's a lot of atmosphere and tension with some fun effects and interesting visuals.

 

[100proof]

The Void isn't a great movie but considering the budget was supposedly about $80,000, it's pretty impressive. Did so much more than movies with 100 times that.

 

[famicommander]

I watched Idle Hands yesterday. Stoner horror comedy from when Seth Green was at his peak, right in the middle of Austin Powers and Buffy.

Been probably 15 years since I've watched it last. Just as stupid as I remember, but in a good way.

 

[terry.330]

Seth Green in his prime lol.

Dude, Jessica Alba in her prime.

 

[famicommander]

Seth Green in his prime lol.

Dude, Jessica Alba in her prime.

She was like 16 when they filmed it, too young. Her prime was more like when they made those shitty Fantastic Four movies.