Movie opinions thread (what have you seen, what did you think?)

[famicommander]

I look forward to your tome of analysis when you see the new Ninja Turtles

 

[Tung Fu ru]

Watched the newest Transformers after downloading a 1080p rip. As expected, its garbage. So glad I didnt pay to watch this trash.

Christ almighty they were scraping the bottom of the barrel here. On reddit, and some of the transformers groups people were saying it "was better than they had expected. Not super great but still enjoyable." So I thought, hey - maybe it will be OK, serviceable like the first 10 minutes of Bumblebee. Nope.

Look. I get it, there were humans in the G1 cartoon. Those humans included Spike and Sparkplug and a couple of one-offs throughout the series. Even the G1 movie featured what, two humans? Daniel, Spike and... thats it, I think. The show/movies are about transforming aliens who come to earth and interact with said humans. We get that. But seriously, for real, honestly - no one gives two shitstained fucks about the human element here. If anything people want to see "Transformers fighting on Earth and blowing shit up" but we don't care about human interaction with said transforming aliens.

So much wasted time/dialogue. The movie is like 2 hours long and could have been probably 1.5 hours if they cut out the stupid human shit. There should never be a single scene - not a single scene - that does not involve or show a Cybertronian on screen. There is no reason for a 5 minute scene between the two human protagonists that doesn't involve someone Cybertronian.

The Humans... fuck me man.. They were worse than Shia Lebouff and MongoThumbs Fox. And thats saying something. If anything, at least Megan Fox resembled a decent looking female at some point in her life pre-surgery, but the two idiots in this movie were absolutely worthless and I have no idea how they got jobs, much less acting jobs.

The main guy was born with his lips too small for his horse teeth, and the main girl.. poor thing - I guess it was never explained to her by her parents or acting coach that as a human being, you should at least try to close your mouth once a day. At least once a day. This girl had her mouth agape for 2 hours. And it wasn't all because she was astonished about Transforming robots. She literally looked like a fucking retard and might as well have had drool dripping from her gaping maw for the entirety of the movie. I got a thing for black women. Totally dig em. But this girl was fucking ugly as shit.

Cullen was fine as Prime as usual. Perlman was pretty good as Primal, but they really should have called up Garry Chalk.

Maximals: I think Beast Wars toys and all other renditions of any Maximals are absolute garbage. Trash. But I went through the series sometime in like 2003 and was impressed. Terrible CGI animation, but the characterizations were there and there was some pretty great writing that added to the TF lore. Its safe to say "I like Beast Wars" and the BW characters. Except Rattrap because hes bullshit.

Primal - Decent. Looked good, transformed one time. Wasted potential. There's another monkey in the beginning named Apelink (never heard of him) that dies right away. Primal never got his swords out. Always hated the toy. You turn his legs around and boom. Transformed.

Cheetor - He had maybe 2 lines all in beast form. You saw his bot form one time and its blink-and-youll-miss-it. Wasted.

Airrazor - You seriously wasted Michelle Yeoh's time with this? Didn't even transform one time. Honestly I dont remember this character from BW, but that could just be me.

Rhinox - background transformation, no lines. WTF.

Autobots:

Prime: - Normal. Body looked skinny compared to what you saw in the beginning of Bumblebee. Still - looks better than 2007 and any iteration after that in movie form.

Bumblebee - Are we seriously still on the "Bee doesn't talk he just uses the radio" thing? Really? After like 15 years? Didn't he even get a voice at the end of the 2007 movie? Why are we still doing this?

Arcee - You didn't call Susan Blu? Fuck off. Wasted.

Wheeljack - I love Danny Rojas as much as the next guy, but this was not Wheeljack. It was some retarded looking VW bus with glasses. Yes. glasses - and a Spanish accent. They even question why he would have a Spanish accent if he's from Cybertron. Why.

Mirage - Easily one of my favorite Autobots from when I was a kid. Had the toy and loved it/the character. But in this movie, he was top tier annoying. Voiced by Pete Davidson. Ive laughed one time at something Davidson has said or done in his career, and it was only because of a reaction to something said about Ann Coulter on a roast. Worthless.

Stratosphere - You wasted my time, and John Dimaggio's time. Fuck off. Shouldn't have been in the movie.

Terrorcons:

So you have a movie that features the Maximals pretty heavily, you tie in the time travel thing to it (loosely) regarding how they got to Earth, and you... you don't feature the Predacons? What were these people smoking? And the leader of the Terrorcons is Scourge? Why? Completely wasted Peter Dinklage's time voicing him, and the bot looked REALLY stupid. Where's Megatron? Or at least T-Rex Megs?

Unicron: Dumb. I mean, he looked kinda cool, but the voice was dumb, it was like someone was trying to imitate Frank Welker's Dr. Claw and not having much success. Dude didn't even Transform. They beat him by "turning off the portal." Didn't they already do that in one of the other TF movies?

And finally - they try to tie in the thing to the shitty GIJoe movies that came out in recent years. At least thats what I think they were going for because the logo was just like the one from a few years back. I love GIJoe as much as the next guy, but the movies were even worse than the TF movies and they already want to do a crossover? Why?

Don't waste your time. Awful story, awful characterizations, terrible - TERRIBLE - music. Seriously there's one 'song' where the singer just says "Im cool like dat, becuz I'm cool like dat... Yeah Im cool like dat" for the entirety of the song/scene. It was annoying as fuck. Why do current movies always have awful rap/hiphop songs blaring the entire time? Stop. Please stop.

TLDR: Dude, you watched a Transformers movie. If you liked any of them, that's too bad. I saw the first one and realized this isn't for me and moved on. Of course the movie was shitty.

 

[LoneSage]

HornheaDD had something to say, and I'm glad he said it.

 

[Tarma]

I've never watched any of the live action Bayformers movies, and I do not plan to change that strategy any time soon.

 

[terry.330]

I skipped to the last part. I'm not reading that much about a Transformers movie.

Pretty sure this is the song he's complaining about:

I was expecting some shit by Da Baby or Travis Scott, but it looks like the soundtrack is mostly classic hip-hop lol.

 

[HornheaDD]

I look forward to your tome of analysis when you see the new Ninja Turtles

It looks fairly entertaining but that's just a trailer. It could be a train wreck. From the trailers I do like that the boys actually sound/act like teenagers. Animation style is definitely aping Spider-verse, and Jackie Chan as Splinter. Seems cool enough but it would have been nice to get an actual Japanese man to play Splinter but whatever.

I dont care about April being black, but it looks like they made her a teen like the boys, I guess? Also why make her fat? Makes no sense. I'll probably wait for a webrip to download it instead of going to the movies.

 

[famicommander]

It looks fairly entertaining but that's just a trailer. It could be a train wreck. From the trailers I do like that the boys actually sound/act like teenagers. Animation style is definitely aping Spider-verse, and Jackie Chan as Splinter. Seems cool enough but it would have been nice to get an actual Japanese man to play Splinter but whatever.

I dont care about April being black, but it looks like they made her a teen like the boys, I guess? Also why make her fat? Makes no sense. I'll probably wait for a webrip to download it instead of going to the movies.

April has been pretty malleable in all the animated adaptations. In 2003 she was a scientist instead of a reporter, in 2012 she was a teen and half alien, in 2017 she was black and raised alongside the turtles, in the CGI animated film she was basically a full on ninja.

 

[terry.330]

@HornheaDD If you didn't like the TF soundtrack you're going to hate the new Turtles one. It's pretty awesome.

De La Soul
Tribe Called Quest
ODB
Gang Starr
Naughty by Nature
KMD
Gravediggaz

PS:

You know why they made April a fat black teenager... we all know why.

 

[HornheaDD]

@HornheaDD If you didn't like the TF soundtrack you're going to hate the new Turtles one. It's pretty awesome.

De La Soul
Tribe Called Quest
ODB
Gang Starr
Naughty by Nature
KMD
Gravediggaz

PS:

You know why they made April a fat black teenager... we all know why.

Yeah probably not then. Im not a fan of hip hop. Im just not cool enough I guess.

 

[pixeljunkie]

Watched the newest Transformers after downloading a 1080p rip. As expected, its garbage. So glad I didnt pay to watch this trash.

Christ almighty they were scraping the bottom of the barrel here. On reddit, and some of the transformers groups people were saying it "was better than they had expected. Not super great but still enjoyable." So I thought, hey - maybe it will be OK, serviceable like the first 10 minutes of Bumblebee. Nope.

Look. I get it, there were humans in the G1 cartoon. Those humans included Spike and Sparkplug and a couple of one-offs throughout the series. Even the G1 movie featured what, two humans? Daniel, Spike and... thats it, I think. The show/movies are about transforming aliens who come to earth and interact with said humans. We get that. But seriously, for real, honestly - no one gives two shitstained fucks about the human element here. If anything people want to see "Transformers fighting on Earth and blowing shit up" but we don't care about human interaction with said transforming aliens.

So much wasted time/dialogue. The movie is like 2 hours long and could have been probably 1.5 hours if they cut out the stupid human shit. There should never be a single scene - not a single scene - that does not involve or show a Cybertronian on screen. There is no reason for a 5 minute scene between the two human protagonists that doesn't involve someone Cybertronian.

The Humans... fuck me man.. They were worse than Shia Lebouff and MongoThumbs Fox. And thats saying something. If anything, at least Megan Fox resembled a decent looking female at some point in her life pre-surgery, but the two idiots in this movie were absolutely worthless and I have no idea how they got jobs, much less acting jobs.

The main guy was born with his lips too small for his horse teeth, and the main girl.. poor thing - I guess it was never explained to her by her parents or acting coach that as a human being, you should at least try to close your mouth once a day. At least once a day. This girl had her mouth agape for 2 hours. And it wasn't all because she was astonished about Transforming robots. She literally looked like a fucking retard and might as well have had drool dripping from her gaping maw for the entirety of the movie. I got a thing for black women. Totally dig em. But this girl was fucking ugly as shit.

Cullen was fine as Prime as usual. Perlman was pretty good as Primal, but they really should have called up Garry Chalk.

Maximals: I think Beast Wars toys and all other renditions of any Maximals are absolute garbage. Trash. But I went through the series sometime in like 2003 and was impressed. Terrible CGI animation, but the characterizations were there and there was some pretty great writing that added to the TF lore. Its safe to say "I like Beast Wars" and the BW characters. Except Rattrap because hes bullshit.

Primal - Decent. Looked good, transformed one time. Wasted potential. There's another monkey in the beginning named Apelink (never heard of him) that dies right away. Primal never got his swords out. Always hated the toy. You turn his legs around and boom. Transformed.

Cheetor - He had maybe 2 lines all in beast form. You saw his bot form one time and its blink-and-youll-miss-it. Wasted.

Airrazor - You seriously wasted Michelle Yeoh's time with this? Didn't even transform one time. Honestly I dont remember this character from BW, but that could just be me.

Rhinox - background transformation, no lines. WTF.

Autobots:

Prime: - Normal. Body looked skinny compared to what you saw in the beginning of Bumblebee. Still - looks better than 2007 and any iteration after that in movie form.

Bumblebee - Are we seriously still on the "Bee doesn't talk he just uses the radio" thing? Really? After like 15 years? Didn't he even get a voice at the end of the 2007 movie? Why are we still doing this?

Arcee - You didn't call Susan Blu? Fuck off. Wasted.

Wheeljack - I love Danny Rojas as much as the next guy, but this was not Wheeljack. It was some retarded looking VW bus with glasses. Yes. glasses - and a Spanish accent. They even question why he would have a Spanish accent if he's from Cybertron. Why.

Mirage - Easily one of my favorite Autobots from when I was a kid. Had the toy and loved it/the character. But in this movie, he was top tier annoying. Voiced by Pete Davidson. Ive laughed one time at something Davidson has said or done in his career, and it was only because of a reaction to something said about Ann Coulter on a roast. Worthless.

Stratosphere - You wasted my time, and John Dimaggio's time. Fuck off. Shouldn't have been in the movie.

Terrorcons:

So you have a movie that features the Maximals pretty heavily, you tie in the time travel thing to it (loosely) regarding how they got to Earth, and you... you don't feature the Predacons? What were these people smoking? And the leader of the Terrorcons is Scourge? Why? Completely wasted Peter Dinklage's time voicing him, and the bot looked REALLY stupid. Where's Megatron? Or at least T-Rex Megs?

Unicron: Dumb. I mean, he looked kinda cool, but the voice was dumb, it was like someone was trying to imitate Frank Welker's Dr. Claw and not having much success. Dude didn't even Transform. They beat him by "turning off the portal." Didn't they already do that in one of the other TF movies?

And finally - they try to tie in the thing to the shitty GIJoe movies that came out in recent years. At least thats what I think they were going for because the logo was just like the one from a few years back. I love GIJoe as much as the next guy, but the movies were even worse than the TF movies and they already want to do a crossover? Why?

Don't waste your time. Awful story, awful characterizations, terrible - TERRIBLE - music. Seriously there's one 'song' where the singer just says "Im cool like dat, becuz I'm cool like dat... Yeah Im cool like dat" for the entirety of the song/scene. It was annoying as fuck. Why do current movies always have awful rap/hiphop songs blaring the entire time? Stop. Please stop.

That was a fun read. Also, will be avoiding. I mildly liked Beast Wars, but this sounds good awful.

 

[Lagduf]

Gravediggaz rule lol.

 

[Tung Fu ru]

@HornheaDD If you didn't like the TF soundtrack you're going to hate the new Turtles one. It's pretty awesome.

De La Soul
Tribe Called Quest
ODB
Gang Starr
Naughty by Nature
KMD
Gravediggaz

PS:

You know why they made April a fat black teenager... we all know why.

um the soundtrack is by nine inch nails

 

[terry.330]

um the soundtrack is by nine inch nails

The score is by Trent and Atticus yeah but the actual soundtrack is all hip-hop.

 

[Tung Fu ru]

The score is by Trent and Atticus yeah but the actual soundtrack is all hip-hop.

I stand corrected. Good move

 

[terry.330]

Royal Warriors (In the Line of Duty)- Michelle Yeoh teams up with a Japanese cop for tons of 80s HK action mayhem. The action is plentiful and pretty hardcore with little regard for anyones safety, as was the style at the time. Not all of the action set pieces quite work but there are a shit ton and the ones that work are outstanding. While usually in a movie like this the plot is not of much importance this one goes off the rails so hard in the second half that it's kind of amazing. Unfortunately in between the action the comedy and drama scenes are exceptionally bad even for a movie like this. The big finale showdown is one of the most ridiculous I've seen in any of these old HK actioners. With Yeoh driving around a construction site in some sort of homemade tank while the bad guy holds her dead boyfriends coffin hostage using a giant construction crane and explosives. Like I said not all of the action works as well as intended but the stuff that does is incredible. Overall though if you're a fan of the genre it's a must watch.

 

[terry.330]

The Ring- I watched the original Ringu not too long ago and have been meaning to give this a re-watch while that was still fairly fresh. It's held up pretty well as it's own thing and isn't just a cheap copy or a clumsy big budget Americanizing of the original.

I think they changed it enough for a mainstream American audience but not so much that it loses too much of the original vibe. But I also don't think that it really benefits from any of the changes, sure they flesh out some more of the story, but none of those things were really all that important in the first place. It also spells things out in a very direct way but that's to be expected considering the audience. The bigger budget also doesn't help all that much and while the cinematography is good it feels a little overly slick at times. Same goes for the actual horror the original is very low key, almost mundane at times and this is way more stylized. Performance wise Naomi Watts gives it her all in this and really steps the movie up a bit. I don't think the movie would be nearly as good with someone else in the lead.

 

[LoneSage]

Hey Terry do me a favor and review Wings of Honneamise, thanks.

 

[terry.330]

The Hazing (Dead Scared)- A disposable group of college fraternity and sorority pledges have to spend the night in a spooky mansion and shit gets crazy. A low budget throwback and homage to stuff like Evil Dead, Killer Party and Night of the Demons. Lots of familiar faces including Brad Dourif and Tiffany Shepis. The movie is pretty self aware and goofy but it doesn't always pull off the tongue in cheek stuff as well as it thinks it does. A true B-movie, it's fun and intentionally campy but can never rise above it's cheap and sloppy production and dumb script.

 

[basic]

Also why make her fat? Makes no sense.

healthy at every size

 

[100proof]

I dont care about April being black, but it looks like they made her a teen like the boys, I guess? Also why make her fat?

Traditionally attractive people must be replaced so that no one feels bad about being an uggo.

 

[Ralfakick]

I’m a fan of Cannon Schlock and have seen my share of their films. I decided to watch The GoGo Boys the Story of Cannon Films yesterday. It was more about the two relatives than the movies. I think Electric Boogaloo did it better and I kind of got bored and shut it off. I decided to watch a Cannon Film instead I had not seen and was going to watch Street Smart with Christopher Reeve and Morgan Freedman (who was nominated for an Oscar for his first movie performance, so not all Cannon Films were schlock - watch Runaway Train for one).

Anyway for some reason this caught my eye instead but I think I can watch all teen/college student 80s action movies from then - Wolverines!

.

It’s by Albert Pyun who probably directed some of the schlockist of the schlock but I really liked it and the premise was good and plausible in the sense of it wasn’t Cyborg or Alien from LA

A high school student named Randy who comes from the poorer side of town but is a hard worker who has college dreams and is a member of student council befriends the richer preppier boys on the council who have this group called the sentinels that clean up graffiti and litter around the school and run the school. They start to become more of a vigilante group (they do partner with a detective) and start to “clean up” the school’s bad characters by threatening them and videotaping some of their torturing the bad characters. They start to wield their influence and become more cocky in the process to the dismay of one of them. One of them Donny decides to befriend Randy to get at Randy’s best friend Ripper who is a known troublemaker and has been graffiting the high school, which upsets Ripper who in turn lashes out. Randy starts to have a thing for Donnys girlfriend Julie (future Bond girl Carey Lowell). The Sentinels start taking things too far and students are now missing. All signs are pointing to the Sentinels but the detective and principal are running cover for them.

It almost feels like the JR version of Avenging Force one of my favorites by them, the story is somewhat similar

Oh and the soundtrack is good too lots of Depeche Mode and Smithereens from Wikipedia

The film features music from The Smithereens, who sang the film's theme song, "Blood and Roses," Depeche Mode, Black Uhuru, Green on Red, TSOL, Lords of the New Church, Lost Pilots, and Michael McCarty.

 

[terry.330]

Wow an Albert Pyun movie that doesn't take place in a post apocalyptic wasteland lol.

 

[Ralfakick]

Wow an Albert Pyun movie that doesn't take place in a post apocalyptic wasteland lol.

I wish I could heart, thumbs up, and eggplant your comment all at the same time lol

 

[famicommander]

Getting the best critical/fan reception in the series so far

 

[prof]

Regarding April in the TMNT, she was actually originally created as a black character. They changed her ethnicity in the cartoon show. She wasn't overweight though.

They did the same thing with Baxter Stockman.