Had a friend kill herself

[Kyle]

I know this isn't an amazing place to have a legitimate conversation but it's the one of the few forums I lurk. And I think I'll feel better posting this.

A co-worker was showing me a piece of gaming fan art today. I mentioned that I had a friend who was a talented artist and that he ought to check out some of her stuff. I stumbled around a bit, found her DeviantArt page and sent him a few examples.

On her main page several comments said RIP. I thought that was odd. I tried to find her on Facebook and her account was deleted. Did some Googling of her name and ended up on an obituary.

Just a bad trip I hadn't expected. It had been a couple of years since we spoke. There was another post from her step-dad that provided more info than I needed. He was venting on a random forum, asking why it happened.

To backtrack. My friend's name was Cari. She was military and was stationed where I lived during college. We hung out often with a mutual interest in gaming. She'd come hang out and play anything Mario, Guilty Gear, SOTN.

She was and is different than other girls I've known. She was very warm, soft spoken, easy going. Just wanted to make people laugh. She was also creative - drew/painted, played guitar. I'm not sure what demons got to her but I'm sorry that she chose to see herself out.

Thanks for reading. Here is some random art of hers.

 

[sylvie]

I'm sorry sweetheart. I know how it feels.

 

[Arcademan]

Sorry to hear about your friend. It's a shame that friends don't talk or see each other for long periods of time...simply because personal lives tend to pull even the closest of friends apart and usually not by choice... and when by chance you try and look one up and this occurs, it's almost like a sharp blow to the guts. You have my deepest condolences

 

[Marek]

Fuck! I'm sorry bud. I am very happy you felt like posting on the forums though. This crowd definitely gets it. The tetris piece is so bad ass I'm gonna send it to my mom. It's the only video game she likes.

 

[ggallegos1]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss man. Suicide is disturbingly prevalent in the military community. We are here for you if and when you need to talk.

 

[Tung Fu ru]

Sorry to hear that dude. Suicide really sucks and ends up hurting the ones that care about that person, a lot. Too bad she didn't get the help she needed.

 

[GutsDozer]

Sorry to hear that bud. My condolences to you and her family.

 

[Normdog]

I'm very sorry to hear about your friend, Kyle

Her artwork is awesome!

 

[NGCDFreak]

Sucks to hear that, she seems to be a talented artist.

 

[wyo]

My condolences. It's a strange feeling finding out someone you used to know died, especially online.

 

[NeoSneth]

close friend and colleague did this last year.
None of it makes sense. He did it the day I was going to call him for lunch to talk about his fav vacation spot... I never called.

It's not about you or anyone else in these situations. can't let it be your fault either. You do what you can for the family, but there is no making it right.
Little things can mean a lot to the family.

 

[StevenK]

Similar thing happened to me over a decade ago, it still doesn't make any sense.

Sorry to hear of your loss, you just don't ever truly know what's going on inside someone else's head.

 

[LoneSage]

close friend and colleague did this last year.
None of it makes sense. He did it the day I was going to call him for lunch to talk about his fav vacation spot... I never called.

It's not about you or anyone else in these situations. can't let it be your fault either. You do what you can for the family, but there is no making it right.
Little things can mean a lot to the family.

Damn man. If you called him maybe he wouldn't have killed himself (that day).

 

[Heinz]

^

And that's what will drive you insane.

 

[oliverclaude]

This is very tragic and very sad, I'm sorry for your loss. The 'why' won't solve it, time will cover it eventually, but the sting will remain regardless. It's incredibly mournful...

 

[Mr Bakaboy]

It makes me feel lucky in that the friends and family I had that suddenly passed I had closure with. My friend died of sleep apnea a few days after he called me out of the blue. I thought it was weird at the time, but it felt like he was saying goodbye. Trying to tie up loose ends so to speak.

My father died on the day I was coming to visit (I live over 300 miles away). It was almost like he wanted me to discover him 1st.

Finding out someone you care for is dead by stumbling on it in social media is something I hope to not go through.

 

[Ip Man]

sorry to hear this. nice artwork as well. i really like the tetris one.

 

[NGCDFreak]

Your friend draws and does better art than me may she go to a better place.

 

[MattBlah]

Really sorry to hear this.

I had a friend/collegue do this a few years back. We worked together and both decided to leave and find new jobs, I went my way and he went his. We kept in contact and then a few months later I got a call to say he'd killed himself. He lost the new job, couldn't pay his bills and decided to end it. He told no one about losing the job, apart from our old manager when he asked for his old job back, but was told he'd been replaced. I couldn't help but feel if we hadn't decided to leave that job then he'd still be here. It's such a horrible feeling.

Anyway, I didn't mean to rant, but just to let you know that I know how you feel.

 

[Thierry Henry]

I've been down that road. A good friend checked out at a very young age.

Looking back, the signs were there. We missed them.

It almost feels now like a lifetime ago....

Numb. Shock. Yeah, mostly those two. The rest of it doesn't come right away. It's like your system has to prepare you first.

Does it get better with time? To a degree. Some cope with it better than others.


Wishing you all the best in this trying time.

 

[uiengineer]

Sorry for your loss man.

 

[Decepticreep]

I am sorry about that, man.

 

[Marek]

https://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/5ftrod/long_time_lurker_on_another_forum_posted_this/

The tetris picture got a little traction in /r/gaming over at reddit

Cheers!

 

[DevilRedeemed]

sorry for your lost bruv.
poor girl.
sometimes we make stupid decisions.
just keep the good memories and she will still radiate her presence. I believe this.
all the best

 

[GregN]

Very sorry to hear of your loss. Along with mental health issues, I've attempted suicide my self. Sometime you feel like that's the only way out of your misery, when it isn't. She was a talented artist. Thanks for sharing that.