In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew school play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edith down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out! But the worst thing I ever done, I mixed up a fake puke at home, and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: [makes vomiting sounds] - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
