Man in a cow suit robs Walmart of 26 Gallons of Milk.


Dr. Brown's Time Machine Mechanic
15 Year Member
Feb 29, 2004

Thu Apr 28, 2:14 pm ET
Man in cow suit robs Walmart of 26 gallons of milk
By Liz Goodwin

A man dressed in a cow suit managed to rob a busy Stafford, Virginia Walmart of 26 gallons of milk on Tuesday night before being nabbed by the cops.

The local news story on the crime, by David Pierce at, is an absolute must read. Apparently, the cow-suited criminal escaped the megastore by crawling out the doors, "trying to emulate cattle." He then began handing out the stolen jugs right outside the store before making his escape, in a sort of bovine interpretation of Robin Hood.

The man's apprehension by the police is by far the best part of the story:

Stafford County sheriffs said they went to a nearby McDonald's restaurant for a disturbance call, and the responding officer saw a man--not in a cow suit--there that seemed to match the culprit.

The suspect was taken back to the Walmart, and management confirmed he was the thief of the pasteurized potion.

The cow suit was found in the man's car, Kennedy said.

How did the police officer recognize the thief in non-cow clothing?

Stafford County Sheriff's office spokesman, Bill Kennedy, tells us that he believes the cow suit did not entirely cover the suspect's face, making him easy to spot at the near-by McDonalds.

"I gotta tell you it's our first cow shoplifter," Kennedy said of the unusual crime.

He chaffed at our Robin Hood comparison."Problem is, Robin Hood broke the law," he said. "You just can't do that."

The man was given a summons to appear before court on shoplifting charges.

Original report link.

Stafford investigates udderly shocking shoplifting cow

By David Pierce
Published: April 27, 2011
» 15 Comments | Post a Comment

Walmart shoppers in Stafford County saw the sight of their lives Tuesday night—a cow, on all fours, trying to score gallons of milk.

An 18-year-old man dressed up in a cow suit stole 26 gallons of milk around 10:35 p.m. from the Garrisonville Walmart, Stafford County Sheriff’s spokesman Bill Kennedy said.

The man was apparently crawling while he exited the store, trying to emulate cattle, Kennedy said.

Soon afterward, witnesses told Stafford sheriff's deputies that the man was handing out the pilfered milk jugs to passersby outside of the Walmart, Kennedy said.

It was unclear Wednesday how he managed to get all of that milk out of the busy store on Garrisonville Road.

Kennedy said that store employees saw the thief “skipping down the sidewalk” in the cow suit before leaving the immediate area.

Stafford County sheriffs said they went to a nearby McDonald’s restaurant for a disturbance call, and the responding officer saw a man — not in a cow suit — there that seemed to match the culprit.

The suspect was taken back to the Walmart, and management confirmed he was the thief of the pasteurized potion.

The cow suit was found in the man’s car, Kennedy said.

Kennedy did not identify the suspect, who was released on a summons to appear in court.

Kennedy admitted the theft was bizarre.

“This is probably one of the most unique efforts of shoplifting I’ve seen,” Kennedy said. “It might’ve been a prank that went wrong, but it isn’t as funny when [the suspect] breaks the law.”

Kennedy said the sheriff's office didn't have surveillance video of the theft, but said it would have been interesting to see.


Now...It's OFFICIAL!!!
20 Year Member
Sep 14, 2003


So Many Posts
No Time
For Games.
10 Year Member
Feb 5, 2010
I wonder if he "dispensed" the milk from his cow suit into the jugs before passing them out. XD


Apr 29, 2011
I have know this kids father since the 80's...I can see where this kid gets his sense of humor and forthought for such a great prank..andf thats all it was...a high school prank...even if he broke the law...something like this is truly the perfect thing to take our mind away from all the bullshit goin on in the world today.....GREAT JOB JOHNATHAN!


Annex Florida Coalition, Goodwill Ambassador,
15 Year Member
Jan 2, 2009
This story is udderly awesome, sorry had to do it.

Todays lesson. If you are going to take part in illegal activities while in an animal costume make sure said costume covers up your face.

Hidden Character

Leader of The Hyperstone Heist,
20 Year Member
Jun 12, 2002
I hope he gets his 15 min. of fame in a good way outta all of this.


neo retired
Sep 27, 2002
If you had to drive home to Stafford from DC everyday after work, you'd eventually loose your mind.