out-merc merc
"Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub"
By using a bit of a classic nursery rhyme, the toast brings back warm memories of the childhoods everyone at the table had with Thanksgiving --even more so if there are children present. From the smallest child to the oldest elder, all will share that common bond of childhood bliss and whimsy on a day that is shared by so many Americans. At least, that's what you should say immediately afterward as you're being yelled at --preferably before they start yelling and asking for someone to do a real toast "because [acem77] is being an asshole again." But what do they know? You can't even believe you're in this family. All they ever do is ride your ass. Well fuck them and fuck Thanksgiving. You're going to your car and heading over to Denny's because they're open and the food is going to be much better than the over-cooked, dry, artificial-hormone-filled piece of crap sitting in front of you and surrounded by all sorts of sides that would've tasted better out of a pre-made carton --yes, I said it: why do you all of a sudden think you can cook for this one day out of year when you never do otherwise? If this were as it should be, we'd be having another over-greasy pizza from mother-fucking-Pizza Hut because you forgot this or undercooked that. I hate holidays like this because I have to pretend that I can tolerate all of you --especially you, you old cranky bastard: let me reiterate: I don't know when I'm getting married, I'm not in a rush, and I don't care if you think my video game playing is for kid. At least I know it'll help keep my mind from degenerating as yours has --oh "whoops", were we not supposed to reveal that to you? You're showing early stage dementia you self-righteous prick and I don't care that I'm telling you this because you're going to forget about it in an hour whether you want to or not. And Aunt Gladys: you're fat and your children are ugly and stupid. So I'm heading out this door, I'm headin' to Denny's, and afterward I'm heading to MLK street to pick me up a nice whore because I'm going to get my rocks off one way or another and frankly looking at Cousin Tammy isn't doing it for me. Night, bitches!
