Found out a good friend has a few weeks to live

smokehouse

I was Born This Ugly.,
15 Year Member
Joined
Sep 6, 2005
Posts
12,878
There's times when life will cold-cock you and it always puts things into perspective.

Cutting to the chase, I have 4 life long friends. One lost his father to cancer back in early 2006, he was 54.

Another informed me a week ago that his father, 64 years old, will be gone in the next few weeks.

He has lethal cancer in his liver, lungs, and pancreas. A month ago, he wasn't feeling "right" and decided to go see a doctor. A few tests later, on Aug 16th, they gave him a fatal diagnosis, gave him a few weeks to live, and sent him home.

This is the third time I've ran across this in the past few years. Someone feeling ill only to find out they have terminal cancer only to die within a month.

He is rapidly declining, he could walk on the 16th, by last thurs, he was mostly stuck in bed due to the pain and weakness.

I have been sending him TXTs, thanking him for everything...for all the help they game me back when I was homeless and had nowhere to go.

Long story short, I'm not looking for "I'm so sorry" replies, I'm basically trying to convey that sometimes, you need something like this to set you straight and let you know what really matters.

I try to take something from everyone I lose, something to gain from their passing. His passing? Really focus on my friends, family, and most importantly, my daughter. I've been too distracted by complete bullshit lately, I've stopped that.

His name is David, he is a good man. He and his wife helped out a white trash troubled kid when they had nothing to gain. They helped me get on my feet when I got my first apartment. He's been family when I had none, he'll be missed.
 

GutsDozer

Robot Master., Master Tasuke, Eat Your, Heart Out
Secret Santa Veteran
Joined
Mar 5, 2013
Posts
5,116
That really sucks man. Cancer is a bitch. I hope you and his family find peace. please except my heart felt condolences.
 

LoneSage

A Broken Man
15 Year Member
Joined
Dec 20, 2004
Posts
42,615
Make time for him now or you'll regret it for the rest of your life.

I know your job, I know you don't get time off, but we've all got one life and you need to communicate with your boss that, hey, someone important to you is dying, and you gotta see them.

Keep us updated.
 

ggallegos1

Cholecystectomy Required.,
10 Year Member
Joined
Oct 1, 2013
Posts
4,924
I understand that you are not asking for condolences, but I'm offering mine anyways.

It's unfortunate that things like this are the most effective way to place our priorities back into perspective. Spend the time you need with your friend and make every moment count. After all that, spend quality time with your daughter and family.

Despite the funstering, you know we are all here for you should you ask for assistance. Stay strong, but don't be afraid or ashamed to let yourself feel as you should in order to cope.
 

NeoSneth

King of Spammers
20 Year Member
Joined
Oct 22, 2000
Posts
10,723
I think you are doing the best thing possible, and letting him know the impact he's had on your life.
Anything that eases his mind right now is the best thing you can do.

I've been there more than i'd like.
Life keeps moving forward which is both difficult and oddly comforting during these times.
It's only going to get harder as we get older.
 

smokehouse

I was Born This Ugly.,
15 Year Member
Joined
Sep 6, 2005
Posts
12,878
I think you are doing the best thing possible, and letting him know the impact he's had on your life.
Anything that eases his mind right now is the best thing you can do.

I've been there more than i'd like.
Life keeps moving forward which is both difficult and oddly comforting during these times.
It's only going to get harder as we get older.

I've been telling him how much he means to me, and how his kindness helped to change my life. In my first txt, the first thing I told him that I wanted to express is gratitude. When he goes, I want him to go knowing how appreciative of him that I am.

He's one of 6 people that changed me life when I needed it most. One, as I mentioned earlier, is already gone. Of them all, the two dearest to me are still here.
 

barto

Overtop Pathfinder
Joined
Dec 27, 2012
Posts
102
Cancer sure does suck!! Lost my father a few years back in the same manner as you
Described. My deepest condolences ��
 

Lastblade

Friend me on Facebook!,
20 Year Member
Joined
Aug 13, 2001
Posts
5,794
Sorry to hear.

I agree, things like this really wake you up to what is important. All the little struggles and complaints we have just melts away compare to life and death. Best of luck bud.
 

Tron

Test
15 Year Member
Joined
May 20, 2004
Posts
7,916
Even if you don't need it you have my condolence.I all ready had my lost last year with my mother and a uncle.It just goes to show,how short life can be before you know it.Shit man cancer is a terrible way to go.
 

munchiaz

Robert Garcia's Butler
Joined
Nov 13, 2011
Posts
1,293
Really tough to read. Last person i lost that really affected me was my uncle, and that was almost 20 years ago. Cancer is an awful thing. I hope you are able to speak or see him before his passing.
 

smokehouse

I was Born This Ugly.,
15 Year Member
Joined
Sep 6, 2005
Posts
12,878
For those that initially read this, I thought I'd update this thread.

He passed on Sept 9th, 24 days after they gave him his fatal diagnosis.

Tomorrow I'll begin the events to lay him to rest along side his/my family. The funeral is Wed.

I'll say it again, try to find happiness in things, try to take advantage of every chance opportunity you get to spend time with loved ones, don't take time for granted.

The last time I would speak to him would be at a random meeting at Costco. I was there last spring over my lunch break and happened to see him, he hadn't yet seen me. I'll admit that I was kind of in a hurry so even through I contemplated not speaking with him, I decided to do it anyway instead of getting my shopping done. We spoke for about 30 min and I wouldn't know it at the time, but that would be the last time I would see him alive. I'm beyond happy that I took the opportunity to talk with him, I cannot imagine the guilt had I not done it.

Either way...just try to make the best of things and don't take life for granted.
 

RAZO

Mayor of Southtown
15 Year Member
Joined
Dec 2, 2006
Posts
8,724
This is great advice smoke. Sometimes we get stressed out and trouble our selves with dumb meaningless shit and we forget about what's really important. We are so distracted and stressed about day to day things like our Jobs, Bills, Finances, etc etc that we sometimes forget about what's really important.

Sorry to hear about your friend passing.
 
Last edited:

LoneSage

A Broken Man
15 Year Member
Joined
Dec 20, 2004
Posts
42,615
For those that initially read this, I thought I'd update this thread.

He passed on Sept 9th, 24 days after they gave him his fatal diagnosis.

Tomorrow I'll begin the events to lay him to rest along side his/my family. The funeral is Wed.

I'll say it again, try to find happiness in things, try to take advantage of every chance opportunity you get to spend time with loved ones, don't take time for granted.

The last time I would speak to him would be at a random meeting at Costco. I was there last spring over my lunch break and happened to see him, he hadn't yet seen me. I'll admit that I was kind of in a hurry so even through I contemplated not speaking with him, I decided to do it anyway instead of getting my shopping done. We spoke for about 30 min and I wouldn't know it at the time, but that would be the last time I would see him alive. I'm beyond happy that I took the opportunity to talk with him, I cannot imagine the guilt had I not done it.

Either way...just try to make the best of things and don't take life for granted.

I'm sorry your friend died but...why did you not see him in the space between you made this thread and his death? what's upsmokes
 

Montatez

Aero Fighters Flyboy
Joined
Jun 7, 2012
Posts
2,078
No regrets. You cant predict the future nor should you live in the past. You are right never take life for granted.

My sincerest condolences, friend.
 

smokehouse

I was Born This Ugly.,
15 Year Member
Joined
Sep 6, 2005
Posts
12,878
I'm sorry your friend died but...why did you not see him in the space between you made this thread and his death? what's upsmokes

Honestly, just life in general. We've been busy, so have my friends. We have summer/fall get-together events that my wife and I will put together, there was one on July 15th, another on Aug 19th, and another one coming up on Sept 23d. I've done my best to see all of them when I can and these events help. He and his wife were invited to them all and typically attend them, but for obvious reasons they couldn't make it this year.

I hope his wife will come on the 23d, I think she'll enjoy the company.
 

Lastblade

Friend me on Facebook!,
20 Year Member
Joined
Aug 13, 2001
Posts
5,794
Sorry about this... glad you were able to talk to him earlier. So right about not taking life for granted, you just never know.
 
Top