my dad's a drunk bastard

smuf

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I woke up about an hour ago and found my dad lying wasted on the floor at his desk. This crap happens more and more frequently, I think he's got money problems but I'm not sure, he doesn't want to talk about it. And now he's not even able to talk, I've been yelling at him for the past half hour and all I got out of him was some incrompehensible mumbling.

Appearantly he did try to open the store this morning (we have a photography shop), as there are several orders scrambled across the counter. Most of them unreadable.

As I'm typing this I can hear him trying to get up but failing repeatidly. I feel like shit and I don't fucking know what I'm supposed to do. I'm so angry I've been shaking all the damn time.

Had to vent this somewhere... Anyone in or has been in a comparable situation?
 

Arthas

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Lead him to his bed and talk to him about it whenever he wakes up. Help him just like you would help a friend. Don't let the fact that he's your dad intimidate you. Help him.

My uncle used to be a heavy drug addict and was basically destroying his relationship with his wife, destroying his health, as well as destroying a lot of other stuff. We took him to a rehab for drug addicts. He's finally out after being there for a year or so. He's doing incredibly better now.

All it took was help from his loved ones.
 
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BoriquaSNK

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I'm really sorry man. This is never easy.

If this is becoming a steady thing, he needs to know he has a problem. If he's in denial, you need to round up friends and family and intervene.
 

galfordo

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Keep Hasselhoff away from your dad - he's a bad influence. :shame:
 

recon_zero

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Sometimes they just won't listen to your speech.

they say that it takes for your loved ones to help, but if the addict doesn't want to recover, it's useless
 

Lee Gray

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Thar sucks Smuf and there I was thinking that it was going to be a comical thread judging by the title
 

sven666

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smuf said:
IAnyone in or has been in a comparable situation?

yup, not going to air it but lets just say it all came to one big climax and after that we had an eye to eye talk (sober) and hes been sober since..

this kind of shit really sucks dude so get to it sooner than later or itll eat you up.
 

zapatistab

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I grew up with an Alcoholic father. Drank everyday, had two car accidents and never learned. When I was about 10-11 he had his first accident. He told me he would never drink again. Only took about a month, and he started drinking again and hasn't stopped. I'm over it now, but it had an affect on me as a kid. After my mom divorced him, he re-married and now doesn't drink as much. But still drinks daily, and to this day refuses to call himself an alcoholic.

He treated my mom like crap, and he has left me with lots of memories my brother and I now joke about. I love my dad to death, but he has taught me how NOT to live my life. My kids will never see me in a drunken state, and I can thank my father for that. Drinking wine and beer is more of an appreciation of drinking something good, rather than an ecape for me. People who can't control their drinking are weak to me, and everytime I see someone who's a drunk I want to smack them around.

In a video game forum this topic will be taken lightly, but dealing with a drunk parent really sucks!
 

kernow

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I came to my mates house once and the carpet had a big ring took out of it, he said it was getting replaced, but I later found out his dad tried to kill himself there by slitting his wrists.

my dad is tee-total, but I've witness a lot of what alcoholism can do to a family. one of my best friends basically has no faith in his dad after the hell he put them through years ago.
 

Nesagwa

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zapatistab said:
In a video game forum this topic will be taken lightly, but dealing with a drunk parent really sucks!

Alcoholic parents build character.

Mine sobered up eventually, but god damn those first like 14 years were some rough times.
 

smuf

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zapatistab said:
I grew up with an Alcoholic father. Drank everyday, had two car accidents and never learned. When I was about 10-11 he had his first accident. He told me he would never drink again. Only took about a month, and he started drinking again and hasn't stopped. I'm over it now, but it had an affect on me as a kid. After my mom divorced him, he re-married and now doesn't drink as much. But still drinks daily, and to this day refuses to call himself an alcoholic.

He treated my mom like crap, and he has left me with lots of memories my brother and I now joke about. I love my dad to death, but he has taught me how NOT to live my life. My kids will never see me in a drunken state, and I can thank my father for that. Drinking wine and beer is more of an appreciation of drinking something good, rather than an ecape for me. People who can't control their drinking are weak to me, and everytime I see someone who's a drunk I want to smack them around.

In a video game forum this topic will be taken lightly, but dealing with a drunk parent really sucks!

My dad had an accident when I was about 12, but I didn't realize what was going on at the moment. That only got through to me a couple of years later. A while ago my mom told me my dad had an accident while drunk driving when I was really young too, and that he hit a girl who's now handicapped for the rest of her life. The whole family has been hiding that to me for years so it was quite a shock to me when I first heard about it.

I also agree with Nesagwa, all this shit defineatly made me a stronger person, it takes a lot of crap to bring me down.
 

kernow

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fuck that, I'd kick your dads ass for covering that one up

really, fuck him, too far gone when you stop caring about yourself, and others too

jesus christ, making someone handicapped due to HIS drinking

:shame:
 

zapatistab

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smuf said:
My dad had an accident when I was about 12, but I didn't realize what was going on at the moment. That only got through to me a couple of years later. A while ago my mom told me my dad had an accident while drunk driving when I was really young too, and that he hit a girl who's now handicapped for the rest of her life. The whole family has been hiding that to me for years so it was quite a shock to me when I first heard about it.

I also agree with Nesagwa, all this shit defineatly made me a stronger person, it takes a lot of crap to bring me down.

Agreed! My wife appreciates it, becasue I treat her good and I try to instill respect into my kids. Bratty disrepectful kids get on my nerves. But thats a differnet thread. ;)

I found out from my aunt, that my father used to cheat on my mom all the time before my brother and I were born. My parents were married twelve years before they had children. When my mom found out she was pregneant, she stopped drinking and smoking. My dad on the other hand drank more and the Mexican Machismo kicked in. Because my mom wouldn't party with him anymore, he checked out of the marriage. All he wanted to do was show off his kids, (having two boys was a big deal) He also expected my mom to wait around for him at home while he drank all night. To this day, I don't know how my dad drank everyday and still made it to work the next day. He did it for about 30 years. He is now retired from Toyota and drinks in the safety of his home. :lolz:

I also found out my grandfather was a womanizer in Mexico and was a bootlegger until a Mafia in Mexico took it away from him. Oh, and he drank alot too. I guess my dad was following in his fathers foot steps. I'm proud to say I am trying to break our family tradition. My brother drinks alot and doesn't spend much time with his kids either. But becasue he drinks at home and ignores his kids at home, my sister in law puts up with it. Give it time, and it will get old.

Side note: my dads first accident, he wrecked his 74 Monte Carlo. I remember it was a nice car. He used to make us take our shoes off before we got in. Anyways, the doctor told him, if he was driving his pick up truck, (the car my mom drove) he would be dead. Driving a big car saved his life.
 
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ki_atsushi

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My ex girlfriend is an alcoholic. She drinks at least two 32 oz. Bud Ice a night.

God she was so nice when she was sober, but once she had a 32 she got evil.

When we broke up (just recently) she said she would quit drinking and I told her I don't give a fuck what you do, It's over. I'd been telling her to stop since we got together and I was fucking fed up.
 

BryLmoo

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smuf,

keep your head on straight man. call family, and tell them what's up.
you can't make this better on your own.

take it easy.
 

K_K

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dad's an alcoholic, pothead, drug dealing, meth user. now the weed was always there. i remember as a little kid walking into the wrong room at the wrong time and getting told to go away, and smelling it. and the liquor was too. i remember several nights where he'd come home drunk as hell, smack my mom around, and then pass out in a puddle of his puke on the floor. this was almost daily in my house growing up. until my mom divorced his ass and he got into dealing and doing harder drugs. i have no idea where he is today, and i don't give a fuck. to me he was never a father, just a sperm donor who had a delorean. and the thing is that delorean was my grandpa's and it was willed to my dad, who sold it to buy more shit. he'sa real worthless prick. and i know the bible says never to turn your back to family, but it's damn hard to not do so, when your family member is that much of a worthless douche.

my aunt and grandma on his side of the family are just as bad. they drink, and drink, and then cry and look at old photos. that's a fucking nightmare when you're ten. being at your grandma's and having her drink a bottle of gray goose, then start crying as she throws a box of old photographs down the stairs and yells at you to look at em with her but all she does is cry and throw pictures around. shit's intense.
 

Tacitus

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Go to Alanon.

Stage an intervention.

Tell him he can have is alcohol or his kid.

Be ready and prepared to cut him out of your life.

He has to hit rock bottom. Your bottom may be different than his. Anything less and he'll just relapse. He has to want to quit.
 

norton9478

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My dad used to come home every night....

Oh, son! Son, how many girls called you today? Zero? And how many girls called you yesterday? Lemme guess -- zero? Well, you know what they say, son. Zero plus zero equals FAG! Zero times any other number always equals FAG! Think about it, ya little mathematician
 
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Mushiki

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smuf said:
I woke up about an hour ago and found my dad lying wasted on the floor at his desk. This crap happens more and more frequently, I think he's got money problems but I'm not sure, he doesn't want to talk about it. And now he's not even able to talk, I've been yelling at him for the past half hour and all I got out of him was some incrompehensible mumbling.

Appearantly he did try to open the store this morning (we have a photography shop), as there are several orders scrambled across the counter. Most of them unreadable.

As I'm typing this I can hear him trying to get up but failing repeatidly. I feel like shit and I don't fucking know what I'm supposed to do. I'm so angry I've been shaking all the damn time.

Had to vent this somewhere... Anyone in or has been in a comparable situation?

Been in a similar situation... gladly, a couple of weeks ago my father sort of finally came out of it -- I told him to smoke pot instead of drinking vodka, that I have no problem in seeing him stoned, but I hate to see him drunk.

Being around him was terrible, unbearable, he would say the same stupid things over and over again, ask the same stupid questions, act like a prick with everyone (except me), he would always forget everything, he got into arguments and even fights with the rest of the family... I just told him I would never visit him anymore if he continued to drink, that we both knew that his life was going nowhere at all.

He also was in a car accident because of him drinking and his stupid arguments with the rest of the family.

It is indeed a horrible situation, I hope you can help him solve his issues.


-- btw, it's amazing how we "idealize" our parents when we are young, but with time, we learn that they are human as well, make mistakes, and sometimes have to hide stuff from their children.

"Don't do drugs, that way you won't turn-out like your parents" - hehehe
 
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Magnaflux

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VanillaThunder said:
Go to Alanon.

Stage an intervention.

Tell him he can have is alcohol or his kid.

Be ready and prepared to cut him out of your life.

He has to hit rock bottom. Your bottom may be different than his. Anything less and he'll just relapse. He has to want to quit.

What he said.
 

smuf

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Mushiki said:
Been in a similar situation... gladly, a couple of weeks ago my father sort of finally came out of it

Sometimes he snaps out of his and then he's good for a couple of weeks/months but he relapses every time. :very_ang:
 

smuf

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Descent123 said:
I would throw all the fucking alcohol out of the window.

Hah, if only it was that easy.
 
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