Soon to be first time dad. HELP!

[DevilRedeemed]

You're never too young for Final Fight.

Aye to that.

 

[Massive Urethra Chode]

Maybe ask Luke Morse for advice

 

[NGT]

Let's be real...the first couple of months suck, lol, but it will blow by before you know it. Don't be in a hurry. It goes so fast. Never go anywhere without extra clothes and diapers, even if it's only going to take 10 minutes and they just went Sleep when they sleep. I know you'll want to get stuff done or play games, but you'll be sorry when you want to sleep, but they don't. Get good health ins..It only takes one slip by a table to find yourself in the ER and get life insurance. There's someone coming that matters more than you now. Hit your friends up for their kid's old clothes and shoes. That stuff adds up and everyone with kids had been there and are usually happy to help. Take turns with your wife solo'ing it. Get your breaks and if your parents live close, let them give you both breaks. Don't push sex, your girl needs a minute. When your kid is born, don't be a pussy. Watch it come out. Once in a life time chance to see something really gross, lol. 2nd kid...no need to put yourself through that again, lol. Both of my kids slept in Fisher price baby swings until they were either too big or started rolling. If nothing else works, give it a shot and when the motor burns out, you can replace it with the motor from a $5 air freshener, instead of the $75 fisher price motor. Lets see, what else...child proof stuff. Don't be a punk, wake up at night and help, even if she's nursing, you can change the diaper. If it's a boy, always cover up while changing with the front of the diaper. You will get shot. It happens, haha. When my wife's milk was coming in, topping off the baby with an ounce of organic formula got us some extra sleep. Get one of those water type bottle warmers and use glass bottles, not plastic. Organic carrots and squash are way cheaper than store baby food. Freeze it in ice trays and pop them out in a freezer bag. It's easy and saves cash. When they're a bit older and you get those organic pouches for trips, always open them and squeeze out a tiny bit to check for mold. I'm sure i could keep going, but i have to get up and take my daughter to gymnastics. Oh, one last thing. Say "i love you" to your kid every day. Even when they're older. Don't ever let them wonder.

 

[Massive Urethra Chode]

Let's be real...the first couple of months suck, lol, but it will blow by before you know it. Don't be in a hurry. It goes so fast. Never go anywhere without extra clothes and diapers, even if it's only going to take 10 minutes and they just went Sleep when they sleep. I know you'll want to get stuff done or play games, but you'll be sorry when you want to sleep, but they don't. Get good health ins..It only takes one slip by a table to find yourself in the ER and get life insurance. There's someone coming that matters more you now. Hit your friends up for their kid's old clothes and shoes. That stuff adds up and everyone with kids had been there and are usually happy to help. Take turns with your wife solo'ing it. Get your breaks and if your parents live close, let them give you both breaks. Don't push sex, you're girl needs a minute. When your kid is born, don't be a pussy. Watch it come out. Once in a life time chance to see something really gross, lol. 2nd kid...no need to put yourself through that again, lol. Both of my kids slept in Fisher price baby swings until they were either too big or started rolling. If nothing else works, give it a shot and when the motor burns out, you can replace it with the motor from a $5 air freshener, instead of the $75 fisher price motor. Lets see, what else...child proof stuff. Don't be a punk, wake up at night and help, even if she's nursing, you can change the diaper. If it's a boy, always cover up while changing with the front of the diaper. You will get shot. It happens, haha. When my wife's milk was coming in, topping off the baby with an ounce of organic formula got us some extra sleep. Get one of those water type bottle warmers and use glass bottles, not plastic. Organic carrots and squash are way cheaper than store baby food. Freeze it in ice trays and pop them out in a freezer bag. It's easy and saves cash. When they're a bit older and you get those organic pouches for trips, always open them and squeeze out a tiny bit to check for mold. I'm sure i could keep going, but i have to get up and take my daughter to gymnastics. Oh, one last thing. Say "i love you" to your kid every day. Even when they're older. Don't ever let them wonder.

Man i wish you were my dad

 

[sylvie]

Say "i love you" to your kid every day. Even when they're older. Don't ever let them wonder.

*cries*

 

[norton9478]

The only advice you need:

Onesies and Sleepers. That is all the clothes a kid needs for the first 12-18 months. Sure, your partner will go out and buy a bunch of cute clothes. Sure people will give you tons and tons of frilly shit. But all you need are Onesies and Sleepers. And for sleepers, zippers are 100x better than buttons. Fuck button-up sleepers.

 

[DevilRedeemed]

Let's be real...the first couple of months suck, lol, but it will blow by before you know it. Don't be in a hurry. It goes so fast. Never go anywhere without extra clothes and diapers, even if it's only going to take 10 minutes and they just went Sleep when they sleep. I know you'll want to get stuff done or play games, but you'll be sorry when you want to sleep, but they don't. Get good health ins..It only takes one slip by a table to find yourself in the ER and get life insurance. There's someone coming that matters more than you now. Hit your friends up for their kid's old clothes and shoes. That stuff adds up and everyone with kids had been there and are usually happy to help. Take turns with your wife solo'ing it. Get your breaks and if your parents live close, let them give you both breaks. Don't push sex, your girl needs a minute. When your kid is born, don't be a pussy. Watch it come out. Once in a life time chance to see something really gross, lol. 2nd kid...no need to put yourself through that again, lol. Both of my kids slept in Fisher price baby swings until they were either too big or started rolling. If nothing else works, give it a shot and when the motor burns out, you can replace it with the motor from a $5 air freshener, instead of the $75 fisher price motor. Lets see, what else...child proof stuff. Don't be a punk, wake up at night and help, even if she's nursing, you can change the diaper. If it's a boy, always cover up while changing with the front of the diaper. You will get shot. It happens, haha. When my wife's milk was coming in, topping off the baby with an ounce of organic formula got us some extra sleep. Get one of those water type bottle warmers and use glass bottles, not plastic. Organic carrots and squash are way cheaper than store baby food. Freeze it in ice trays and pop them out in a freezer bag. It's easy and saves cash. When they're a bit older and you get those organic pouches for trips, always open them and squeeze out a tiny bit to check for mold. I'm sure i could keep going, but i have to get up and take my daughter to gymnastics. Oh, one last thing. Say "i love you" to your kid every day. Even when they're older. Don't ever let them wonder.

Solid, solid.

 

[opt2not]

Congrats!

I take it the people who tell you your life is over don’t have kids themselves? Idiots.

Don’t worry about not knowing what to expect, a lot of it will come naturally.

I don’t think my relationship with games has changed much after having our child. But I stopped playing epic time-sucking games a long while ago in exchange for time spent doing projects, art, learning things.
I just have less time during the day now, but my evenings are still the same after the little one goes to sleep. We were lucky with our daughter, she started sleeping throughout the night after 3 weeks - 8pm-6am! I doubt we’ll be as lucky with our planned second one.

The only advice I can give that hasn’t already been said is during labour, if you’re going to be there in the room, don’t watch the baby come out. It’ll ruin sex for you for a little while. It’s a mess. Not only is your wife’s landscape changed down there after giving birth, the blood, shit and emerging baby’s head imagery will be perminantly burned into your memory after you’ve witnessed it. It’ll take a bit to get over.

 

[NGT]

The only advice I can give that hasn’t already been said is during labour, if you’re going to be there in the room, don’t watch the baby come out. It’ll ruin sex for you for a little while. It’s a mess. Not only is your wife’s landscape changed down there after giving birth, the blood, shit and emerging baby’s head imagery will be perminantly burned into your memory after you’ve witnessed it. It’ll take a bit to get over.

Nah, do it! At least with one. It's the most beautiful and most disgusting thing you'll ever see in person. Once you chicken out, you can't go back. But once you do it, you can't take it back, lol. You're a guy, you'll get over it

 

[DevilRedeemed]

Nah, do it! At least with one. It's the most beautiful and most disgusting thing you'll ever see in person. Once you chicken out, you can't go back. But once you do it, you can't take it back, lol. You're a guy, you'll get over it

Yeah deffo. To me it was the most shocking thing I ever witnessed, especially since my first kid was quite a big guy. The baby's heads become deformed as they come out so that makes it even more surreal.
It doesn't ruin sex and it's not like your other half can or will want to for a decent while.

 

[Endlessnameless]

Congrats! From here on out, everything your child does from now until about 5 is a suicide attempt. It is your job as a parent to make sure that they do not follow through with their plans. The first year is rough but it will get easier. Unfortunately as you get over one obstacle, they get older and new obstacles present themselves. Basically their first year of life it's your job to just keep them alive, clean and fed. Then as they get older is when the fun starts. People have already stated this but around age 4/5 they get really fun and inquisitive about everything. And as someone mentioned before, always express unconditional love towards your children. Always tell them you love them no matter what.

 

[Mr. Mort]

Nah, do it! At least with one. It's the most beautiful and most disgusting thing you'll ever see in person. Once you chicken out, you can't go back. But once you do it, you can't take it back, lol. You're a guy, you'll get over it

I agree.
I watched my wife give birth to our son, and have even more respect for her as a result.
She didn’t get an epidural and went through the pain. That’s evidently somewhat uncommon these days, enough for the head nurse to ask my wife if it was ok for 2 nurses in training to observe it. My wife consented, and one of the trainees nearly threw up at the sight, lol.

I don’t regret seeing that, as I was right there and it was one of the most emotional moments of my life. It proved to me just how tough the ladies can be, don’t underestimate them.

 

[Craig]

I didn't actually read what anyone else posted...

But man your life isn't over, its about to be way better.
Its not that you wont have "you" time anymore, its you'd rather spend time with your kid than play games.
Now that my oldest is old enough to actually play a game, its a blast to play with her.

 

[geise]

Handhelds, handhelds, handhelds.

I will go ahead and quote this. Congrats btw! It will be scary, frustrating, awesome, tiring and fun. First couple months are going to be hectic but it will work itself out. Again...handhelds.

 

[Psygnosis8]

I’ve got an 18 month old. It’s the best thing ever, but it’s intense. I Am EXHAUSTED after daddy and me day.

Truth be told, during the day it’s all about the baby. You’re so involved in doing stuff you’re not thinking about video games much. But the kid usually goes to bed relatively early, and then it’s your time! Try to make sure you take an hour every day to do something that’s fun. Either with the wifey, or playing games by yourself or seeing a friend. Those little breaks will keep you sane. My wife and I coordinate, so if we really need a break or want to go somewhere by ourselves, the other person can take over. And your life is far from over, you just need help or support. Which you can always buy! Sometimes I have the sitter come over just so I can get things done, or take a break myself. The baby loves it, and I feel much saner afterwards.

It takes Coordinating, but you can still do things for yourself. Last week we went to see Killing Joke on a Wednesday night.

Personally, I found that I can get by in about six hours of sleep without a problem. I just choose to stay up a little later so I can have some personal time.

That said, yeah the first few months are absolute chaos. But it’s a good excuse to eat McDonald’s and pizza. No one will blame you for gaining weight. [emoji6]

 

[sylvie]

just pretend that raising your kid is a video game

 

[Lastblade]

I was playing GTA Vice City and my 4 year old decided to watch. I jacked an ambulance and started running random people over, she shouted encouragement "GO GET THEM!" I lol'd and gave her a hug and a kiss.

 

[@M]

 

[Fuckwit1200]

@ connor.
second line down in your op, nothing to add to it that you're not aware of, very astute.
coming from a nobody charged with the care of younger relatives sometimes, it qualifies.
the courts and laws are against you now, unless you know dark fuckers with zero scuples (read between the lines) in the upper echelons of gvt, and that doesn't take into account the social consequences, focused on the legal ramifications at this point, you are FUCKED!
best advice this nobody can offer, is raise them to offer basic respect if they want to be treated with dignity.
sadly, most 'paremts' don't even bother to ask, the rest you have nailed. (physical care)
the thoughts i hear about, yet spared of them due to the fact i haven'y downloaded a kid, is i won't be there to protect them after i'm dead.
then again, why bother when they can be taken from you on a a whim, gvt state sanctioned?
be the best you can, instill into them what you want out of this world, it's that simple.

 

[madman]

Yeah, take parenting advice from amiga. He turned out so well, an adult virgin surely knows how to raise children.

 

[Fuckwit1200]

we were all children at one point.
and bob-on sadman, i'm avoiding giving up a tip that could make another carbon copy of people like you in this world.
fuckin beatnik!

 

[DevilRedeemed]

we were all children at one point.
and bob-on sadman, i'm avoiding giving up a tip that could make another carbon copy of people like you in this world.
fuckin beatnik!

I imagine you living in some 1950s era nuclear bunker with your mum. I don't know why

 

[Lastblade]

Yeah, take parenting advice from amiga. He turned out so well, an adult virgin surely knows how to raise children.

If he does the exact opposite of amiga, it just might work out

 

[Fuckwit1200]

got my old username back, minus the uppercase first letter.
no argument here.
@ above, that's the whole point you SCUM.
take note of mistakes created by others in the past.
none of you waste of lives can refute my stance.
raise little spoiled shits, get piss-poor results.
thank FUCK i have no fuck-trophies or crotch-spawn i have to leave to this shitty world full of shitty people that would sooner stomp on it's skull to advance their own survival of groupthink.

 

[ggallegos1]

thank FUCK i have no fuck-trophies or crotch-spawn

Yes, thank Fuck indeed.