Retro Gamer magazine's terrible Metal Slug feature --reviewed!

[lithy]

Seriously, fuck you. Really. Fuck you and your mother. There is NOT ONE MISTAKE in the feature, nor a single meaningful omission, and repeating your cowardly lies from behind a cloak of anonymity can't change that. You can keep calling a horse a pig all you want, it still won't taste of bacon.

Did you refer to mummy mode as zombie mode in the piece?

 

[RevStu]

How about we start with the fact that Stuart claimed there was a zombie mode in Metal Slug 2 for a start of alleged factual problems?

There is. If you wrap a zombie in bandages it's still a fucking zombie. Where is the zombie dress code written, please?

 

[RevStu]

Must be the sort of Englishman who uses the term “Paki” in everyday conversation,

Wow. I point out that you're a rude, ignorant arsehole who doesn't know what he's talking about and now I'm a racist? Awesome.

 

[lithy]

There is. If you wrap a zombie in bandages it's still a fucking zombie. Where is the zombie dress code written, please?

You're dense aren't you. Every time you get called on something you ask for a owner's manual, a dictionary, a guide, a step-by-step instruction book.

You know damn well the difference between a zombie and a mummy. If you'd like you can just go ahead and say, yes there was a minor mistake in my article, I referred to a certain section of Mission 2 in Metal Slug 2 as having a zombie mode when in fact they are mummies.

Instead you're going to just call me a fuckwit and use your grand vocabularly (which you seem perfectly capable of using correctly as opposed to zombie vs. mummy) in an attempt to one-up me. I'll be most impressed if you don't.

 

[RevStu]

When I wrote columns, I was separate from the newsroom. The reason is obvious:

On that, at least, we can agree.

I'm off to bed now, because I'm stunned into a stupor at the fact that you're allegedly a lawyer, albeit a lawyer who can't use or interpret English properly. No wonder American law is so fucked it doesn't think tying someone down and trying to drown them counts as torture.

 

[RevStu]

This is one of those topics that could destroy a writer's reputation...

At least I can go to bed having had a good laugh, though.

 

[Deuce]

There is. If you wrap a zombie in bandages it's still a fucking zombie.

Obviously, you're not big on researching your movie monsters. There are two kinds of zombie: the voodoo priest-slave type, and the undead flesh-eating type.

The things that eat brains and talk aren't zombies. They're pale pretenders to the Romero throne.

 

[Mayhem]

Stu, if I were you I'd cut my losses short and bow out here. I hope you're not one of those "gotta have the last word/say" kind of guys, because seriously, you have painted a pretty nasty picture of yourself, and by association, TO A SMALL DEGREE, the magazine itself in which you are a regular contributor (freelancer or not, there's still a code of honor you should professionally uphold).

He is, so good luck. Trying to convince him he's lost an argument is like General Custer believing he can still win in the face of a tribe of Native Americans.

Sure, we've not seen eye to eye on many things over the years (and I've been writing as long as he has btw). A few things we have. Either way, you can't accuse him of not putting in the time and effort to produce his articles via both the actual gamesplaying and the writing sides. Whether you agree with the content is a different matter...

 

[zer0hue]

Bobak – Stuart Campbell does not write to the accord of your every wish and whim. This does not make his writing poor, merely incongruous with your demands.

Deuce – Your tedious fixation on professionalism and objectivity indicates a naive view of humanity. No person is ever objective or professional – they are only impersonal or domesticated.

Stuart - I admire your moxie. You swing at all commers like a sloshed octopus. You’re also one of only two gaming journalists worth reading. That doesn’t mean you’re not a spotted dick at times.

Sam – Wins the thread with an insult that will not be equaled. “I think you should at least compliment me on how cleverly I called you stupid.”



Also, I have no idea why I was mentioned in this thread. I make it a point not to contribute anything relevant to this forum.

 

[abasuto]

Stu was a writer with a strong rep,

but Neo-Geo.Com tore him down.

No worries mate, you're not the first,

nor the last.

 

[LoneSage]

Let’s be clear that I raised the suspicion that Mr. Campbell didn’t use any home/MVS carts in his “research”, and this dismissal of the massive slowdown in 2 only reinforces that. I think any lay gamer would notice it pretty quick –especially if you look back to when it first arrived, costing $200+ on a $600+ video game system. Slowdown was huge, and relevant to the time, and something that was missed in poor research and… poor writing.

This.

The title screen, where the letters that form Metal Slug 2 are pounding on the background, is laden with slowdown. The title screen! Anyone with half a brain realizes the slowdown is some of the worst in any game, and to say that it's comparable to everything else of that era is not an opinion, but flat-out wrong.

Pretty obvious the guy emulated it or played the Anthology version.

 

[Reality Check]

If you wrap a zombie in bandages it's still a fucking zombie.

 

[Comrade Porn King Mikhail]

Stuart - I admire your moxie. You swing at all commers like a sloshed octopus. You’re also one of only two gaming journalists worth reading.

Bummer, only 12 sentences. I was hoping this thread would reach epic best-of proportions.

 

[Vectorman0]

I love RevStu's attempt to lessen the importance of his mixing up both the mummies from MS2 and zombies from MS3. He's so childish he can't own up to his mistake/factual error after challenging people to find one.

 

[Deuce]

I make it a point not to contribute anything relevant to this forum.

So we see.

 

[tony starks]

People still read printed magazines? awesome.

I thought the same thing

Stuart Campbell huh, wow.

Starks out.

 

[Mike Shagohod]

THIS THREAD IS...

 

[Deuce]

Shit under fire?

 

[Koopa64]

Stuart is one of the most obstinate people I have EVER seen on the Internet...

Like honestly, he must have been living his entire life as a lie if he doesn't realize he's been beaten...

But you know, if he was still posting in this topic, there's just one thing I'd like to ask him.

What target does The Definitive aim for?

By that, I mean he referred that anyone who bashed him said they didn't understand the purpose of The Definitive, but he never mentioned what that was.

With that said, he'll still call me an idiot, just like everyone else in this topic... Stuart really gives Europeans a bad name...

 

[zer0hue]

So we see.

Yuk, yuk.

You have an exquisite talent at turning overt self-deprecation into a boring insult.

Never let that rapier wit of yours dull away.

 

[Mike Shagohod]

Shit under fire?

Yep, you guessed right. That's exactly what this whole fiasco is.

And to think I've been praising "Retro Gamer" for about a year now
and is the only magazine I pay $11.75USD for at Barnes & Noble
when I can remember to do so.



I see both point being made here, including your own Deuce, but
this is truly beating a dead horse at this point. I could probably write
out "the history of SNK" in my jizz easier than it will be to rectify this
shit.

 

[Deuce]

You have an exquisite talent at turning overt self-deprecation into a boring insult.

It's all you've earned.

I could probably write
out "the history of SNK" in my jizz easier than it will be to rectify this
shit.

Possibly... but will it smell as bad?

 

[Ancient Flounder]

There is. If you wrap a zombie in bandages it's still a fucking zombie. Where is the zombie dress code written, please?

The fact that you think they are synonymous should get you beaten with the rotted corpse of Lucio Fulci. Will be the most good he's ever done, too.

 

[Koopa64]

The fact that you think they are synonymous should get you beaten with the rotted corpse of Lucio Fulci. Will be the most good he's ever done, too.

It makes you wonder what he actually did in those many years of video game journalism, to not have learned the difference between a zombie and a mummy. Guess pop culture wasn't one of the courses he took way back when...

 

[genjiglove]