Retro Gamer magazine's terrible Metal Slug feature --reviewed!

[LoneSage]

lol professional video game writer

 

[abasuto]

It makes you wonder what he actually did in those many years of video game journalism.

He wrote about games more than he played them.

 

[kazuo]

Seriously, fuck you. Really. Fuck you and your mother. There is NOT ONE MISTAKE in the feature, nor a single meaningful omission, and repeating your cowardly lies from behind a cloak of anonymity can't change that. You can keep calling a horse a pig all you want, it still won't taste of bacon.

This guy is a staff writer for Retro Gamer?

REALLY?

It is absolutely astounding that he carries himself in this manner on a PUBLIC FORUM, and, moreso, that his boss is (most likely, given his participation in the thread) aware of it and has (probably) done nothing about it.

Absolutely astounding. I don't think I'll be buying anymore issues of Retro Gamer in the future.. I could have honestly cared less about the "quality" of the article in question, but anyone who would employ a grown man that carries himself in such a fashion will not get a penny from me.

It is completely unprofessional and shameful.

 

[Zenimus]

You know damn well the difference between a zombie and a mummy.

The fact that this sentence actually came up in a discussion over someone's journalistic merits is hilarious.

 

[Mayhem]

This guy is a staff writer for Retro Gamer?

No, Stu is a freelancer. Like I am also. RG has (to my knowledge) currently two permanent members of staff assigned to it, and Darran is one of them; the rest of the content is written by us hired hacks.

 

[RevStu]

The fact that this sentence actually came up in a discussion over someone's journalistic merits is hilarious.

Mm. Just because this particular aspect of the debate is so extraordinarily funny, can anyone tell me the title of a mummy film in which coming into contact with the bodily fluids of the mummy transmits the condition of mummification to the victim?

And while we're here, can anyone tell me the name of a zombie movie in which the undead can be returned to normal human status by consuming a potion?

Take as long as you like.

 

[RevStu]

Stuart - I admire your moxie. You swing at all commers like a sloshed octopus. You’re also one of only two gaming journalists worth reading. That doesn’t mean you’re not a spotted dick at times.

Why thank you. We are, my friend, ALL spotted dicks at times. But the comparison to a drunk, belligerent octopus is one I shall cherish as the compliment it is.

 

[Ancient Flounder]

Mm. Just because this particular aspect of the debate is so extraordinarily funny, can anyone tell me the title of a mummy film in which coming into contact with the bodily fluids of the mummy transmits the condition of mummification to the victim?

And while we're here, can anyone tell me the name of a zombie movie in which the undead can be returned to normal human status by consuming a potion?

Take as long as you like.

This is a rather poor attempt at humor, isn't it?

 

[Duddyroar]

This is a rather poor attempt at humor, isn't it?

You mean humour, of course.

 

[Ancient Flounder]

You mean humour, of course.

Either or. I'm not picky about that.

 

[Tyrannosatan]

I had to re-register here just because of this thread.
Stu you're teh shit! this is called being professional! Stomp your feet on the ground and take the ball home! They're not worthy

 

[RevStu]

This is a rather poor attempt at humor, isn't it?

Nope. Titles, please.

Incidentally, if you're such a big-shot journalism hero, why are you scared to use your real name?

 

[SIXPACK]

On that, at least, we can agree.

I'm off to bed now, because I'm stunned into a stupor at the fact that you're allegedly a lawyer, albeit a lawyer who can't use or interpret English properly. No wonder American law is so fucked it doesn't think tying someone down and trying to drown them counts as torture.

This is just plain stupidity!

 

[Ancient Flounder]

Nope. Titles, please.

Incidentally, if you're such a big-shot journalism hero, why are you scared to use your real name?

Wow, I'm a journalism hero? Bobak, can I get that as a custom handle? That would be terrific.

I'm sure you can find my name somewhere, since you have enough time to play teh ROMz for 'research' and troll in various forums. Bedtime for me, anyways. Happy hunting!

 

[Professor Denim]

thanks to this asshole i´ll never look to Retrogamer in the same way.

 

[lithy]

Mm. Just because this particular aspect of the debate is so extraordinarily funny, can anyone tell me the title of a mummy film in which coming into contact with the bodily fluids of the mummy transmits the condition of mummification to the victim?

And while we're here, can anyone tell me the name of a zombie movie in which the undead can be returned to normal human status by consuming a potion?

Take as long as you like.

Your source material is movies now? So anything that happens in video games has to have happened in a movie first?

Got it.

Since you wrote an opinion piece where you admittedly included few facts, maybe you should go ahead and add intuition to your thought processes. There is not a person in the world other than you that thinks they are zombies.

Anyone have an actual home cart copy of Metal Slug 2 that could tell me if it is in the instruction manual? I imagine it is.

 

[Late]

This Stu guy is a tool of chimpian stature, christ.

 

[RevStu]

There is not a person in the world other than you that thinks they are zombies.

Please link to your survey data, thanks.

 

[lithy]

Please link to your survey data, thanks.

So since I concede that they are indeed bandage wrapped zombies. When in recorded history have you seen a bandage wrapped zombie that can be killed by another bandage wrapped zombie with additional contact from their expelled fluids?

I await your bibliography.

 

[SIXPACK]

Oh, and by the way:



Don't tell me what I mean, you rude, ignorant, illiterate, arrogant, fucking cunt.

Is this how a non-illiterate, non-arrogant, professional journalist talks?
Instead of coming here defend your article like an adult , you act like a rebel teenager who is trying to prove he´s a bad motherfucker. Dont give me an excuse like "they started it"! Introducing yourself with "Hello idiots" ??? Your whole attitude here really undermines your credibility.
I just wonder what makes you such a Metal Slug connoisseur....

 

[cools]

RevStu

Out of everything I've read that you've written, this thread is by far the most entertaining of the lot, and I since I feel it's such a massive shame you're doing this unpaid I'm off to subscribe to WoS again.

(All the other stuff was great too, this is just the sugar on the cherry on the icing on the cake)

I just hope the thread doesn't get locked, because this could go on for weeks.

 

[RevStu]

Is this how a non-illiterate, non-arrogant, professional journalist talks?

No idea. Do you know any? Maybe we could ask them.

 

[RevStu]

So since I concede that they are indeed bandage wrapped zombies. When in recorded history have you seen a bandage wrapped zombie that can be killed by another bandage wrapped zombie with additional contact from their expelled fluids?

I await your bibliography.

Hey, I'm not the one claiming to be a zombie expert. My area of speciality is videogames.

 

[lithy]

Hey, I'm not the one claiming to be a zombie expert. My area of speciality is videogames.

If this is what snarky is, no wonder kern wants to kill himself.

They are mummies and I'm just not sure why you can't wrap your head around that.

What will it take? If the instruction book for the game calls it mummy mode will you concede the point?

Probably not, since you know you're wrong but you'll posture until the end of time, it appears to be what makes your followers fans. I hope they are more fans like patrons of a freak show are fans, but I somehow doubt it.

Maybe we need to get your editor back in here because he did say if we find any factual errors in the article to let him know. If he contends that they are just bandaged zombies then I guess I'll just chalk up my experience with the British as well-spoken, but remarkably stupid.

 

[DEL]

The Good Reverend

Great Thread! A really good read. Keep Going