So I saw Alien Covenant. I am pissed (spoiler free rant)

evil wasabi · May 22, 2017

Robocop 2 did not have any easter eggs.

in support of Lithy's argument.

Spike Spiegel · May 22, 2017

I actually liked Prometheus a LOT. You'd think if anyone were to like this movie, it would have been ME.

I mean, the acting and pacing alone were crap. And suspense? LOL, what suspense?! The movie just STARTS and has action right away. Absurd.

smokehouse · May 22, 2017

Spike Spiegel said:
I actually liked Prometheus a LOT. You'd think if anyone were to like this movie, it would have been ME.

I mean, the acting and pacing alone were crap. And suspense? LOL, what suspense?! The movie just STARTS and has action right away. Absurd.

Same here...I really enjoyed Prometheus. It was like they took everything solid about that film and chucked it in the toilet.

CORY · May 22, 2017

The original uncut version of Prometheus was even better. Too bad they decided not to piss off the creationists.

Gamefan · May 22, 2017

I absolutely love the Alien franchise, went to see this last night and was not surprised at all on how it turned out.

Ridley Scott seems to just be making these films for shits and giggles at this point. Prometheus was intriguing because there was hope of some explanation for the Aliens and where they came from. Covenant just makes a mockery of the entire franchise.

MySoberCompanion · May 22, 2017

smokehouse said:
jockey question below...

Spoiler:

This is what gets me. In the new film, David creates the eggs through genetic manipulation. So before that point, no eggs, no face huggers, and no Alien as we've known it for years. Because of this, Predator 2 and A-v-P are completely broken timeline wise. Second, if David wipes out the engineers home planet, then how in the shit would the jockey get his hands on the eggs, then land somewhere else, and die before it is found in Alien 1. The movie really created a mess with that entire plot point.

Spoiler:

Gamefan · May 22, 2017

MSC - I thought this too but maybe there are two classes of Engineers. The Engineers we say in Prometheus could have been Military Engineers where the ones seen in AC were civilian class? This is the only thing that makes sense to me. Otherwise, like Prometheus, Ridley is just slapping shit together to make a movie.

90s · May 22, 2017

Pretty much agree with all off the criticisms here. In particular, I like Prometheus and feel like Covenant was a wasted opportunity to develop what took place in that movie, at least in any logical and coherent way. The resolution to the engineer matter was fast and unsatisfactory. The resolution with what happened with Dr. Shaw was awful. The characters in this movie are boring and not noteworthy...except for David and Walter. Yeah, there were a number of cringe worthy scenes, but David and Walter were the best part of this movie. The CG was ass.

And still...I liked the movie. I guess I like even the bad Alien movies like Resurrection and the AVP movies; at least, they are fun action romps IMO. I will watch the follow up to Covenant too.

A bit off topic, but I thought Predators was pretty good.

Gamefan · May 22, 2017

90s said:
Pretty much agree with all off the criticisms here. In particular, I like Prometheus and feel like Covenant was a wasted opportunity to develop what took place in that movie, at least in any logical and coherent way. The resolution to the engineer matter was fast and unsatisfactory. The resolution with what happened with Dr. Shaw was awful. The characters in this movie are boring and not noteworthy...except for David and Walter. Yeah, there were a number of cringe worthy scenes, but David and Walter were the best part of this movie. The CG was ass.

And still...I liked the movie. I guess I like even the bad Alien movies like Resurrection and the AVP movies; at least, they are fun action romps IMO. I will watch the follow up to Covenant too.

A bit off topic, but I thought Predators was pretty good.

90s - Yes, this is no way has put me off to Alien in any way. Just was hoping Scott would have learned from Prometheus and took his time to develop the characters more.

StaticX · May 22, 2017

I thought the movie wasn't half bad. I still think it's better then A3,A4,AVP,AVP:R.
I love
1. Aliens
2. Alien
3. Prometheus
4. Alien Covenant

That said, I loved Prometheus and felt the intro was one of the best intros ever created. Shaw deserved so much better.

Late · May 23, 2017

smokehouse said:
jockey question below...

Spoiler:

This is what gets me. In the new film, David creates the eggs through genetic manipulation. So before that point, no eggs, no face huggers, and no Alien as we've known it for years. Because of this, Predator 2 and A-v-P are completely broken timeline wise. Second, if David wipes out the engineers home planet, then how in the shit would the jockey get his hands on the eggs, then land somewhere else, and die before it is found in Alien 1. The movie really created a mess with that entire plot point.

So where does the queen fit in in all of this.

FilthyRear · May 23, 2017

Late said:
So where does the queen fit in in all of this.

Next movie.

LoneSage · May 23, 2017

I never saw Prometheus but wanted to. From what I gathered Prometheus raised more questions than it answered.

Five years later this movie comes out and it seems to answer questions that no one even asked.

Poonman · May 23, 2017

lithy said:
Why would you? Easter eggs are the dumbest trend going in this overarching trend of making only sequels, reboots, soft reboots, and in-universe films.

The movies don't attempt to stand on their own. They just wink-and-nod their way through it, relying on your love of a previous film to generate any actual level of interest.

In the end that is lazy if not downright bad filmmaking. If the world is good and the bad guys are familiar, you don't need easter eggs that only serve to get a few nerd's rocks off with OMG DID YOU SEE THAT?!? IT'S JUST LIKE WHEN....

Sequels are not inherently bad but I don't plan on stepping back into a movie theater to see anyyhing any time soon that is buzz worded up by a major studio to appeal to my demographic.

Money always travels up. Or in this case it converges on the 8 studios in Hollywood that are producing every tv show and movie in America.

In the game of monopoly, only one guy always ends up with all the money and the only way you stay on top is by investing your money in sure things that already sell.

All these sequels/spinoffs are a product of industry, rather than people's tastes. Capitalism may drive innovation, but monopolies are doing a great job of suffocating it.

Spike Spiegel · May 23, 2017

LoneSage said:
I never saw Prometheus but wanted to. From what I gathered Prometheus raised more questions than it answered.

Five years later this movie comes out and it seems to answer questions that no one even asked.

That's certainly a good way to put it.

Gorka · May 23, 2017

StaticX said:
I still think it's better then A3.

I never got why everybody hates on 3 apart from the horrible CGI. Its suitable dark and gritty with the right doomsday feel to it. And the ending when Ellens new substitute for the daughter she lost follows her in death is just beautiful.

pixeljunkie · May 23, 2017

Gorka said:
I never got why everybody hates on 3 apart from the horrible CGI. Its suitable dark and gritty with the right doomsday feel to it. And the ending when Ellens new substitute for the daughter she lost follows her in death is just beautiful.

totes agree with this statement

smokehouse · May 23, 2017

Gorka said:
I never got why everybody hates on 3 apart from the horrible CGI. Its suitable dark and gritty with the right doomsday feel to it. And the ending when Ellens new substitute for the daughter she lost follows her in death is just beautiful.

I think it's a contrast + expectation thing.

Aliens was an epic film, fun to watch, action packed, tons of cool shit like space marines. 3 is more...psychological. Its far slower paced, rather boring on comparison to Aliens.

As a stand alone film? Yeah, it would probably be viewed better than it is. Compared to Alien and the Aliens? It's a pretty large letdown.

pixeljunkie · May 23, 2017

smokehouse said:
I think it's a contrast + expectation thing.

Aliens was an epic film, fun to watch, action packed, tons of cool shit like space marines. 3 is more...psychological. Its far slower paced, rather boring on comparison to Aliens.

As a stand alone film? Yeah, it would probably be viewed better than it is. Compared to Alien and the Aliens? It's a pretty large letdown.

For me, it felt more in line with the first film - but yeah, not so much on the action compared to 2. Aliens is just - on a whole other level of awesome. But I saw 3 multiple times when it was released and just loved the art direction and gritty take on it.

FilthyRear · May 23, 2017

Alien 3 was fucking trash.

They shoehorned the egg on the Sulaco.

The original concept where Hicks survived and ended up on the Xenomorphs home planet was leagues better than the pile of steaming dogshit we got instead.

Dr Shroom · May 23, 2017

Put lightsabers on screen, people will clap.
Put xenomorph on screen, people will clap.
Oh the movie sucks? Doesn't matter, it has things I know so I clapped.

Hollywood needs an enema.

evil wasabi · May 23, 2017

Dr Shroom said:
Put lightsabers on screen, people will clap.
Put xenomorph on screen, people will clap.
Oh the movie sucks? Doesn't matter, it has things I know so I clapped.

Hollywood needs an enema.

Oh you Joker.

Dr Shroom · May 23, 2017

You know it's true.

Pasky · May 24, 2017

Ya this movie was pretty shit.

Spoiler:

MySoberCompanion · May 24, 2017

Pasky said:
Ya this movie was pretty shit.

Spoiler:

Nothing was explained and in order to not explain why the engineers made the goo, they just made David kill them all. Supposedly another movie is being made that is a prequel to this, Awakening that explains what happened ti Elizabeth and how David turns into what he does. So much shit doesn't make sense. Why go from spore, instantly affecting aliens to fucking eggs and chest bursters. Why was the Engineers home planet so barren for being so technologically advanced, there's no quarries to get all the metal and shit they used to build space ships, they all looked fucking primitive.

Seems like no thought went into this movie, they wrote themselves into a corner with Prometheus and couldn't find a good way out so rather than try to explain questions they left on the table, they just removed them by having David go full retard away from his original character.

None of the characters are memorable. There's no attachment to anything. There's no sense of fear of them being trapped with a monster. It's just a really shitty story with some retarded android that has a god complex.

Lame fucking movie, characters sucked, story sucked, and nothing kept me interested.

Spoiler:

So I saw Alien Covenant. I am pissed (spoiler free rant)

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