want a gf? well you cant fucking have one (news story)

[eek]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070614/ap_on_re_ca/no_girlfriend

PETERBOROUGH, Ontario - A judge has ruled that a 24-year-old Canadian man is not allowed to have a girlfriend for the next three years.
ADVERTISEMENT

The ruling came after Steven Cranley pleaded guilty on Tuesday to several charges stemming from an assault on a former girlfriend.

Cranley, who has been diagnosed with a dependent personality disorder, attacked his girlfriend in an argument after their breakup.

He tried to prevent her from phoning the police by cutting her phone cord and punched and kicked her. He finally stabbed himself with a butcher knife when police did arrive, puncturing his aorta.

Doctors say Cranley has difficulty coping with rejection and runs a high risk to re-offend if he becomes involved in another intimate relationship.

Justice Rhys Morgan said Cranley "cannot form a romantic relationship of an intimate nature with a female person.

"That is the only way I can see the protection of the public is in place until you get the counseling you need."

Cranley had already served 146 days in pre-trail custody, which Morgan said was enough jail time in this case.

His lawyer says the no girlfriend order is the first of its kind that he has encountered.

ahahahahha, crazy canucks.

 

[PopeCuervoLime]

lol @ canadian justice

 

[Poonman]

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.

That's fucking awesome when my hometown makes it onto NG.com

 

[BoriquaSNK]

How the hell are they going to enforce it?

Are they going to check for tampons in his medicine cabinet or something?

 

[aegreatone]

stupid ass sentence

 

[Poonman]

stupid ass sentence

^This one is too.

 

[aegreatone]

^This one is too.

it ain't a sentence

 

[Poonman]

it ain't a sentence

holla, who needs a steady girl anyway amirite?

 

[aegreatone]

holla, who needs a steady girl anyway amirite?

Are you Cranely?

 

[hermegildo]

holla, who needs a steady girl anyway amirite?

lol

 

[FormlessOne]

How the hell are they going to enforce it?

Are they going to check for tampons in his medicine cabinet or something?

Put an ankle bracelet on his penis?

 

[norton9478]

I just want to know how you stab somebody[or yourself] with a butcher knife.....

 

[Average Joe]

I just want to know how you stab somebody[or yourself] with a butcher knife.....

I think you're thinking of a cleaver.

A butcher knife is usually the knife you see random scared teenagers pull out of wooden holders in horror films--a very stab capable piece of cutlery.

 

[norton9478]

I think you're thinking of a cleaver.

A butcher knife is usually the knife you see random scared teenagers pull out of wooden holders in horror films--a very stab capable piece of cutlery.

Ohh, ok.......

I see...

I have only ever heard people call cleaver's butcher knives.....

But you are right.
Kind of like how everybody calls a Collander a strainer or Rubber Scrappers Spatulas.

If I had a Butcher Knife, I still wouln't make stabbing motions, I'd make choping motions..... Maybe that's why the idiots in horror movies always get overwhelmed....

 

[OrochiEddie]

I'd love this to be used much more often.

 

[Lovergoat]

So when did Makismo move to Canada?

 

[norton9478]

A few months ago, I was seeing a girl who had an X with similar charecteristics...

Girl thought all guys were like that....

I think that's why it didint work out....

 

[aria]

He tried to prevent her from phoning the police by cutting her phone cord and punched and kicked her. He finally stabbed himself with a butcher knife when police did arrive, puncturing his aorta.

Doctors say Cranley has difficulty coping with rejection.

Duh.

 

[norton9478]

I liked the guy who forced a cell phone down' his girl's throat....

 

[eek]

I liked the guy who forced a cell phone down' his girl's throat....

Maybe he was trying to determine if she can deep throat properly?

 

[Neo Geo MVS]

 

[F4U57]

Haha. Imagine the self loathe from batting off for the next three years..

 

[SpamYouToDeath]

What if he's actually bisexual? they didn't take that into account.