Our battle with cancer has come to an end...

[StevenK]

Horrible news, so sorry.

I think I would love the music you made together.

 

[fenikso]

My condolences, 40 is way too young. Fuck cancer. My Nephew is battling leukemia. Shit's hard to deal with. Take it easy on yourself.

 

[Arcademan]

You have my deepest condolences. As many here know, I lost my brother earlier this year from pancreatic cancer. All I can say is stay strong and rely on the support of your family and friends during this time.

 

[Mr. Mort]

I’m very sorry for your loss. My condolences.

 

[evil wasabi]

Sucks man.

 

[ballzdeepx]

I'm sorry to hear this, especially one so young but you were there for her until the end and she's at peace. Once the mourning is over, make sure to get out and move forward - appreciating the time on this earth we have as I'm sure she would want that for you.

 

[roker]

Sorry for your loss. Fuck cancer.

 

[Xian Xi]

Damn, sorry to hear dude. It’s hard enough finding a mate that has similar interests let alone the same passion as you in life. I can’t imagine the feeling. But her spirit will live on through you and your music. RIL

 

[Cylotron]

Thank you all for your replies. I've been going to work each day and trying to work on music here & there.... Sadly, I have been drinking myself to sleep each night. Trying to be strong. Luckily my family is visiting and my niece' & nephews have been helping. Everyone keeps telling me she's no longer suffering and in a better place now. Yes, I realize that... but she's gone and I'm still here. I used to dread the idea of dying.... but now I can't wait until I do. Until then, I will keep up with the music and see where that takes me.

 

[LoneSage]

Hey man, I can't understand what you're going through, but you should ask yourself: would she be happy seeing you drink yourself to sleep every night? To honor her memory you have to live the life she would want you to live. These are tough times, maybe the toughest of your life, but don't give up.

 

[titchgamer]

Hey man, I can't understand what you're going through, but you should ask yourself: would she be happy seeing you drink yourself to sleep every night? To honor her memory you have to live the life she would want you to live. These are tough times, maybe the toughest of your life, but don't give up.

100% this.

I am sure she has no intentions of wanting to see you again just yet!

Try to find other things to help you get to sleep at night, Booze just acts as a depressant and makes things worse.

You have been strong for her, Now you need to be strong for yourself.

Its good you have Family to care for you, Make the most of it.

 

[HDRchampion]

Really sorry about your loss.

You're really hurting right now. The love of your life is gone. You probably dont care about life and no meaning or purpose to go on. Whatever you're feeling, im sure your family feel the same thing towards you if you're gone. Just try to keep strong, focus on what you have, not what you don’t have. Love yourself.

Make a plan and take action;don’t give up. Try to set goals and maybe time will heal enough to find a purpose in life again.

 

[GutsDozer]

Man that's horrible. I'm very sorry you're going through that. I can't imagine how hard that is but all the lads have got your back.

 

[LoneSage]

hey bro it's been a few days, how you holding up

 

[Cylotron]

hey bro it's been a few days, how you holding up

Still here. I stopped drinking(every night at least). Over the weekend tried one of those 'blackout brownies'(1000mg thc)… felt nothing for a good hour or so... then all this dizziness that got more intense as time passed, followed by me passing out. The next day I was still dizzy & threw up. Since then I haven't touched alcohol or cannabis. I still think about my gf everyday and I cry everyday. I feel this intense desire to want to "leave" and re-unite with her. Trying my best to continue on each day though. Been working on music here & there. Have also been doing some gaming. I prefer FPS/Survival Horror games, but she loved Super Mario Bros. I should probably get into those also considering I have all her Mario games with me. Want to try that 'Death Stranding' game. Too bad it's not for PC, but I have a PS4 also so that's fine.

 

[100proof]

Quick story time: I have a buddy whose fiancee died in a horrible accident about 10 years ago. He was inconsolable for months (wouldn't leave the house, drank like a sailor on shore leave, lost his job... his family actually had to call the cops to do a welfare check at one point) and it took him a couple of years to truly pick up the pieces. Ended up doing therapy for a while but he said what he really needed was time to heal. To this day, he can't talk about it without getting emotional and he's always gonna have that scar but dude actually got married a couple of years ago and had his first kid earlier this year.

Anyway, point is I'm sure you've got a hundred people tripping over themselves trying to help you feel better but time is the only cure and you'll get there too if you don't give up and just let yourself grieve. Punish your liver. Create music. Yell at inanimate objects. Take long walks. Get a dog. Whatever helps you get through the day. Just know that this is as dark as it's gonna get. It WILL get better if you give it time.

 

[k'_127]

Hang in there buddy. We all feel your loss. As proof100 said, scars may remain, but they hurt less over time. And no matter unfair it might feel, I'm sure she would never ever wish you to leave. Just take the time to gather yourself and live life to the fullest. That's what she would want.

 

[BIG BEAR]

This is probably playing out in your mind over and over and the way to combat it is realizing you did everything in your power to help. You must realize if this had to happen that it wasn't sudden and you had the opportunity to say goodbye.
These are hard times for you,I know but with time and sobriety you will be able to cope.
Very sorry to read this and my condolences.
BB