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TNA Impact! Results: 3-6-08
Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (Direct link to Caldwell's report). Condensed to in-ring results only.
1 -- KEVIN NASH vs. A.J. STYLES -- street fight
Gotta love the irony of a street fight starting in the ring. Per Angle's instructions, Styles went for Nash's knees in the early going. Nash fended him off, though, and the match moved to the floor. They did the traditional outside-the-ring spot where Nash sent Styles head-first into the PPV poster covering the base of the grandstands.
Back from break, Styles was landing right hand blows to the forehead in the ring. Nash came back with right hands of his own, then dropped Styles with a sidewalk slam for a nearfall. Tenay added more to the main event at the PPV that the winning team tonight gets a five-minute advantage at the PPV. Nash went for a Jackknife powerbomb, but he sold a knee injury. Styles tried to take advantage with a springboard elbow smash, but Nash caught him in mid-air with a chokeslam for the win.
WINNER: Nash in 7:00. Well, I would say it's disappointing to see Styles losing clean to a guy with one wheel and who just put himself over as having 17 knee surgeries, but Styles is a comedy heel character without much credibility right now. (*1/4)
2 -- TNA Destination X gimmick battle royale
The bell sounded and Sonjay Dutt came to the ring looking for donations in his tambourine. He then grabbed Val's hand and gave her a kiss on the hand. Suddenly, Scott Steiner and his freak came out on stage for a closer look. Tenay gave some gossip that Steiner is sending his freak to be ringside for Petey's match against Lethal for the X Division Title at the PPV. Steiner, not involved in the match, eliminated Hernandez and tried to eliminate Young, but Slick Johnson sent Steiner to the showers.
Final Four: Rave, Curry Man, Petey, and Rellik. Curry then eliminated Petey. The winner of this, by the way, gets to add a stipulation to a tag match at the PPV. Curry then flipped Rave over the top rope with the Spicy Rack. So, it's Curry vs. Rellik. They did a spot where Curry flew over the top rope, but he landed on Rave's back so his feet never touched the floor. Back in the ring, Curry clotheslined Rellik over the top rope to the floor to win.
So, in the Curry & Shark Boy vs. Team 3D match at the PPV, Curry Man gets to book a stipulation for the match. Curry then took the mic after the match and spoke in Japanese. Gee, that sounds like Christopher Daniels. Shark Boy then took the mic and said no one cares about that Chinese you're babbling. He said it just so happens that they're facing the two biggest pieces of crap at the PPV, so the stip for the PPV is that if Team 3D loses or can't make weight, then they're gone from TNA for good. Shark Boy did the "What?" chant and Don West, not concerned about objectivity, shouted "Shell ya!" Shark then booked a Fish Market street fight for their PPV match.
WINNER: Curry Man in 6:00. Just another TNA gimmick match. (*)
3 -- SAMOA JOE vs. TOMKO -- First Blood match
They joined the action in progress with Joe smashing Tomko into the announce table. He then tried to use the timekeeper's hammer on Tomko, but Tomko blocked. Joe then chucked Tomko head-first into the ring apron, followed by the ringpost. No blood yet. Tomko came back with a scoop slam onto the entrance ramp, but he missed with a chair shot to the back. Back in the ring, Tomko landed punches to the forehead. No blood.
Joe mounted a comeback with elbow smashes to the gut, but then he ran into a boot to the throat. Tomko grabbed a chair and wedged it in the corner, but Joe put on the brakes. Joe then sent Tomko head-first into the chair. No blood yet. Joe then tossed the chair to Tomko, who caught it and then accepted a kick to the head. Tenay asked what else Joe needs to do to draw blood. Well, he could pull out a gun and shoot him, or scrape him with some barbed wire, or slam him into thumbtacks, or grab some glass and rake his forehead, or even take a spoon and gouge out his eye. Plenty of options. Joe then slapped on a rear naked choke and the ref called for the bell. He awarded the match to Tomko by virtue of Joe having a trickle of blood on his forearm. Tomko laughed in Joe's face for winning on a technicality.
WINNER: Tomko in 8:00. Nothing memorable, but a fine match with silly execution of a gimmick stipulation that induced eye-rolling, not heat. (*1/2)
4 -- JUDAS MESIAS (w/Jim Mitchell) vs. RHINO
The fight moved to the outside in the opening minute. Back in the ring, Judas took control with a hard whip into the corner, followed by a Russian legsweep for a nearfall. Judas then went up top and missed with a splash. Rhino got up and nailed the Gore for the win. After the match, Storm surprised Rhino with a superkick. Storm then talked trash in Rhino's face to close out the segment.
WINNER: Rhino in 3:00. Basic TV match to promote Rhino vs. Storm in Elevation X on Sunday. (1/2*)
5 -- Knockouts champion AWESOME KONG (w/Raisha) vs. LAX's SALINAS
Salinas tried to start things off with kicks to the leg, but Kong smacked her back with a hard clothesline. Kong then placed her boot on the back of Salinas's head and pressed down hard. She finished her off with the Awesome bomb for the win.
WINNER: Kong in 2:00. Squash to set up the Women's title match of Kong vs. ODB vs. Gail at the PPV. (1/2*)
6 -- TNA World Hvt. champion KURT ANGLE vs. CHRISTIAN CAGE -- non-title steel cage match -- only way to win is by escaping the cage
They joined the action in progress with Christian and Angle exchanging mat holds. Angle tried to climb the cage wall, but Christian yanked him down to the mat. Angle then caught Christian off the ropes and chucked him into the cage wall. And now for the other break.
They retuned with Angle gingerly trying to leave the cage through the door, but Christian yanked his foot and brought the action back into the ring. Angle brushed him off and catapulted Christian head-first into the cage wall, but Christian came back with a fallaway DDT. He then followed with an inverted DDT and started climbing the cage wall. Angle yanked him down, but Christian shoved Angle to the mat and landed a top rope splash. Angle tried to come back with an Olympic Slam, but Christian avoided it, only to miss a corner splash and crash into the cage. They battled on top of the cage before Angle landed an Olympic Slam from the cage to the mat.
At 15:00, they teased some spots of both men trying to escape the cage through the door. They did a crazy spot of Christian trying to climb the wall, but Angle locked in the anklelock. Christian escaped, though, by flipping Angle off the ropes to the mat. Christian tried to escape at 17:00, but Angle clipped his knee and pounded on it some more. Angle then tried to climb over the top of the cage, but he spent too much time gloating, which allowed Christian to recover and battle with him on the other side of the cage. Suddenly, both men crashed down to the floor simultaneously. The bell sounded and Earl Hebner stared at the situation unsure of who won. He then raised Christian's arm, giving him the victory.
After the match, Angle cursed Hebner before attacking Christian. Angle's back-ups then threw Christian into the cage and Tomko locked the steel cage. A.J. Styles picked up Christian and helped Angle give him the Olympic Slam inside the cage. Styles then finished off Christian with the Clash. Joe stormed ringside looking for a way into the cage, but no dice. Nash stood there facilitating; doing enough work to make it seem like he was trying, but not enough to do anything. Smartest man in wrestling. Joe kept trying to get inside the cage while Angle locked in the anklelock on Christian. They closed with the image of Angle shouting at Joe and Nash while having the anklelock firmly secured.
WINNER: Christian in 18:00 to give Team Joe the PPV advantage. Heck of a match. Good use of TV time to give the final portion of the match the full stage without commercial interruption. Excellent final imagery with Angle showing intensity in full control of the situation. The show was book-ended by an excellent opening segment and excellent main event. The rest of the show was good, bad, and really ugly filler. (***1/4)
Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (Direct link to Caldwell's report). Condensed to in-ring results only.
1 -- KEVIN NASH vs. A.J. STYLES -- street fight
Gotta love the irony of a street fight starting in the ring. Per Angle's instructions, Styles went for Nash's knees in the early going. Nash fended him off, though, and the match moved to the floor. They did the traditional outside-the-ring spot where Nash sent Styles head-first into the PPV poster covering the base of the grandstands.
Back from break, Styles was landing right hand blows to the forehead in the ring. Nash came back with right hands of his own, then dropped Styles with a sidewalk slam for a nearfall. Tenay added more to the main event at the PPV that the winning team tonight gets a five-minute advantage at the PPV. Nash went for a Jackknife powerbomb, but he sold a knee injury. Styles tried to take advantage with a springboard elbow smash, but Nash caught him in mid-air with a chokeslam for the win.
WINNER: Nash in 7:00. Well, I would say it's disappointing to see Styles losing clean to a guy with one wheel and who just put himself over as having 17 knee surgeries, but Styles is a comedy heel character without much credibility right now. (*1/4)
2 -- TNA Destination X gimmick battle royale
The bell sounded and Sonjay Dutt came to the ring looking for donations in his tambourine. He then grabbed Val's hand and gave her a kiss on the hand. Suddenly, Scott Steiner and his freak came out on stage for a closer look. Tenay gave some gossip that Steiner is sending his freak to be ringside for Petey's match against Lethal for the X Division Title at the PPV. Steiner, not involved in the match, eliminated Hernandez and tried to eliminate Young, but Slick Johnson sent Steiner to the showers.
Final Four: Rave, Curry Man, Petey, and Rellik. Curry then eliminated Petey. The winner of this, by the way, gets to add a stipulation to a tag match at the PPV. Curry then flipped Rave over the top rope with the Spicy Rack. So, it's Curry vs. Rellik. They did a spot where Curry flew over the top rope, but he landed on Rave's back so his feet never touched the floor. Back in the ring, Curry clotheslined Rellik over the top rope to the floor to win.
So, in the Curry & Shark Boy vs. Team 3D match at the PPV, Curry Man gets to book a stipulation for the match. Curry then took the mic after the match and spoke in Japanese. Gee, that sounds like Christopher Daniels. Shark Boy then took the mic and said no one cares about that Chinese you're babbling. He said it just so happens that they're facing the two biggest pieces of crap at the PPV, so the stip for the PPV is that if Team 3D loses or can't make weight, then they're gone from TNA for good. Shark Boy did the "What?" chant and Don West, not concerned about objectivity, shouted "Shell ya!" Shark then booked a Fish Market street fight for their PPV match.
WINNER: Curry Man in 6:00. Just another TNA gimmick match. (*)
3 -- SAMOA JOE vs. TOMKO -- First Blood match
They joined the action in progress with Joe smashing Tomko into the announce table. He then tried to use the timekeeper's hammer on Tomko, but Tomko blocked. Joe then chucked Tomko head-first into the ring apron, followed by the ringpost. No blood yet. Tomko came back with a scoop slam onto the entrance ramp, but he missed with a chair shot to the back. Back in the ring, Tomko landed punches to the forehead. No blood.
Joe mounted a comeback with elbow smashes to the gut, but then he ran into a boot to the throat. Tomko grabbed a chair and wedged it in the corner, but Joe put on the brakes. Joe then sent Tomko head-first into the chair. No blood yet. Joe then tossed the chair to Tomko, who caught it and then accepted a kick to the head. Tenay asked what else Joe needs to do to draw blood. Well, he could pull out a gun and shoot him, or scrape him with some barbed wire, or slam him into thumbtacks, or grab some glass and rake his forehead, or even take a spoon and gouge out his eye. Plenty of options. Joe then slapped on a rear naked choke and the ref called for the bell. He awarded the match to Tomko by virtue of Joe having a trickle of blood on his forearm. Tomko laughed in Joe's face for winning on a technicality.
WINNER: Tomko in 8:00. Nothing memorable, but a fine match with silly execution of a gimmick stipulation that induced eye-rolling, not heat. (*1/2)
4 -- JUDAS MESIAS (w/Jim Mitchell) vs. RHINO
The fight moved to the outside in the opening minute. Back in the ring, Judas took control with a hard whip into the corner, followed by a Russian legsweep for a nearfall. Judas then went up top and missed with a splash. Rhino got up and nailed the Gore for the win. After the match, Storm surprised Rhino with a superkick. Storm then talked trash in Rhino's face to close out the segment.
WINNER: Rhino in 3:00. Basic TV match to promote Rhino vs. Storm in Elevation X on Sunday. (1/2*)
5 -- Knockouts champion AWESOME KONG (w/Raisha) vs. LAX's SALINAS
Salinas tried to start things off with kicks to the leg, but Kong smacked her back with a hard clothesline. Kong then placed her boot on the back of Salinas's head and pressed down hard. She finished her off with the Awesome bomb for the win.
WINNER: Kong in 2:00. Squash to set up the Women's title match of Kong vs. ODB vs. Gail at the PPV. (1/2*)
6 -- TNA World Hvt. champion KURT ANGLE vs. CHRISTIAN CAGE -- non-title steel cage match -- only way to win is by escaping the cage
They joined the action in progress with Christian and Angle exchanging mat holds. Angle tried to climb the cage wall, but Christian yanked him down to the mat. Angle then caught Christian off the ropes and chucked him into the cage wall. And now for the other break.
They retuned with Angle gingerly trying to leave the cage through the door, but Christian yanked his foot and brought the action back into the ring. Angle brushed him off and catapulted Christian head-first into the cage wall, but Christian came back with a fallaway DDT. He then followed with an inverted DDT and started climbing the cage wall. Angle yanked him down, but Christian shoved Angle to the mat and landed a top rope splash. Angle tried to come back with an Olympic Slam, but Christian avoided it, only to miss a corner splash and crash into the cage. They battled on top of the cage before Angle landed an Olympic Slam from the cage to the mat.
At 15:00, they teased some spots of both men trying to escape the cage through the door. They did a crazy spot of Christian trying to climb the wall, but Angle locked in the anklelock. Christian escaped, though, by flipping Angle off the ropes to the mat. Christian tried to escape at 17:00, but Angle clipped his knee and pounded on it some more. Angle then tried to climb over the top of the cage, but he spent too much time gloating, which allowed Christian to recover and battle with him on the other side of the cage. Suddenly, both men crashed down to the floor simultaneously. The bell sounded and Earl Hebner stared at the situation unsure of who won. He then raised Christian's arm, giving him the victory.
After the match, Angle cursed Hebner before attacking Christian. Angle's back-ups then threw Christian into the cage and Tomko locked the steel cage. A.J. Styles picked up Christian and helped Angle give him the Olympic Slam inside the cage. Styles then finished off Christian with the Clash. Joe stormed ringside looking for a way into the cage, but no dice. Nash stood there facilitating; doing enough work to make it seem like he was trying, but not enough to do anything. Smartest man in wrestling. Joe kept trying to get inside the cage while Angle locked in the anklelock on Christian. They closed with the image of Angle shouting at Joe and Nash while having the anklelock firmly secured.
WINNER: Christian in 18:00 to give Team Joe the PPV advantage. Heck of a match. Good use of TV time to give the final portion of the match the full stage without commercial interruption. Excellent final imagery with Angle showing intensity in full control of the situation. The show was book-ended by an excellent opening segment and excellent main event. The rest of the show was good, bad, and really ugly filler. (***1/4)