Man has sex with bike. Now a registered sex offender.

[Shingo Hibiki]

Bike sex man placed on probation

A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation.

Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.

Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.

Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr.

Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police.

Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'."

Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.

The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan.

He now lives in Ayr.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm

 

[famicommander]

What's this world coming to?

I'll be damned if I'm going to live in a country where a man can't even fuck a bicycle in the privacy of his own home.

 

[Pink Spider]

Was it at least a girls bike?

My mother was a nurse at an old folks home, I remember her telling me one of the guys there had a habbit of putting his tv remote in his asshole.

 

[Force]

Wow. So this guy got arrested for rubbing his genitals on his own bike in his own room? I mean, seriously, as fucked up as that is, why is that a crime.

Matt

 

[zombiesara]

Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'."

i like how the cop tried to make a joke there....

 

[Zero Satori]

Some people just don't like others to have a good time

Maybe he has Little Donnie disease?

 

[ki_atsushi]

Why is this man in trouble again? The room service shouldn't have barged in.

Well, I guess it's his fault for not telling them to go away when they knocked.

 

[OrochiEddie]

haha

 

[Force]

Why is this man in trouble again? The room service shouldn't have barged in.

Well, I guess it's his fault for not telling them to go away when they knocked.

I agree. AFter I read that, I was thinking it was the cleaners that should be in jail, not him. This article really makes me kinda sick.

Matt

 

[zombiesara]

I agree. AFter I read that, I was thinking it was the cleaners that should be in jail, not him. This article really makes me kinda sick.

Matt

he's in a hostel, not a hotel....you should be glad someone is actually cleaning it

 

[RAINBOW PONY]

Um, it's in his private bedroom, not out in the streets.

So they are saying I could not do this at home?

Is there a LAW that prohibits one from having sex with a bicycle?

 

[RocketLawnChair]

Wow, that's really fucked up. It's his bike, in his room. Whatever he does with his bicycle should be his own business, even if it is a bit strange... 3 years probation's some serious bullshit.

 

[lithy]

Wow, that's really fucked up. It's his bike, in his room. Whatever he does with his bicycle should be his own business, even if it is a bit strange... 3 years probation's some serious bullshit.

It's not cheating if you spread peanut butter on your testicles and let your dog lick it off.

Because it's YOUR dog!

 

[Zero Satori]

It's not cheating if you spread peanut butter on your testicles and let your dog lick it off. Because it's YOUR dog!

Some people would argue that this example isn't correct, as the dog is a clear-thinking, consenting, intelligent individual. I wonder if the same logic applies to a bike...

 

[Force]

Wow, that's really fucked up. It's his bike, in his room. Whatever he does with his bicycle should be his own business, even if it is a bit strange... 3 years probation's some serious bullshit.

The probation isn't a big deal really, but if he's really on the sex offenders list, his whole life is ruined, over one stupid drunken incident. Seriously fucked.

Matt

 

[OrochiEddie]

First gay marriage, then people will want to marry their bikes...
/sarcasm.

 

[Wankinov R]

A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation.

Hoo boy!

 

[Buyatari]

We could be on to something here.

Is this how Lance Armstrong really lost his balls?

 

[wizkid007]

Next on the news.

Nessy gets jail time for having sex with his aes cart. And there were no insertion marks!

 

[Electroman]

Some people just don't like others to have a good time

Its a big reason why nearly the entire middle east hates the free world.

 

[cannonball]

WTF is wrong with people that they feel entitled to call the police when they barge in on someone having a clandestine love affair with their bicycle.

I sure hope nobody tries to rob my house while I'm having a hand party. I'd probably get in more trouble than the intruder!

 

[soulthug]

WTF is wrong with people that they feel entitled to call the police when they barge in on someone having a clandestine love affair with their bicycle.

I sure hope nobody tries to rob my house while I'm having a hand party. I'd probably get in more trouble than the intruder!

My thoughts exactly


bet there'll be support community on the internet soon, instead of furries or plushies or flat out animal molesters, they'll have forums for "inanimaties" for lovers of general household/garden/transport based self-sexual practice,

 

[norton9478]

My thoughts exactly


bet there'll be support community on the internet soon, instead of furries or plushies or flat out animal molesters, they'll have forums for "inanimaties" for lovers of general household/garden/transport based self-sexual practice,

Probably already is...

The Internet has taught me one thing....

There is a group of sick fucks who take pleasure in everything [un]imaginable.

 

[bokmeow]

What can I do to protect my bike from becoming the recipient of unwanted coitus from this cycle-sexualist? I hope he will be barred from living within a 50 mile radius of my bike --- my shitty, 17 year old Huffy mountain bike.

 

[N80G80]

Wow what a load of crap....I mean its sick but it's his bike!!!! Probation...court....WTF!!