Turrican_Man
Geese's Thug
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2001
- Posts
- 278
Aim Conversation Part 2
LASNER OWNZ J00: The second reaction people have to being rejected is to disconnect, or shut off internally. So while they might be extremely extroverted and social, they have nothing inside.
MHojoMoko: People at my school don't give me a chance because I am not in their group.
MHojoMoko: It is true that I feel empty inside all the time.
LASNER OWNZ J00: They often pretend to adopt nihilistic views of the world, but the truth is, their view is "nihilism, or nothing exists with the exception of my self esteem."
MHojoMoko: I don't feel anything. I want to escape this world.
MHojoMoko: Strange no?
LASNER OWNZ J00: They can never have intimate friendships or relationships with others because they aren't willing to accept that the world has meaning.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Because if the world has meaning, then so does their pain.
MHojoMoko: I have hate battled up inside of me and I want to let it go but I can't.
LASNER OWNZ J00: I can understand.
MHojoMoko: I have sen no meaning in this world so far.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Have you ever thought about what emotion is?
MHojoMoko: I see idiots who are not on my level.
MHojoMoko: No, I don't know what love is.
LASNER OWNZ J00: I understand how you feel.
MHojoMoko: I can't feel love.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Well, let me explain something:
MHojoMoko: I might have at one time but not anymore.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Do you believe that people have a soul?
MHojoMoko: I can't feel joy either.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Or do you believe that you have a soul?
LASNER OWNZ J00: Or in God?
MHojoMoko: I used to but now the only people I think who have a soul are those who feel pain.
MHojoMoko: Only those who know extreme pain can have a soul. Other people who don't know what pain is can't have true feeling.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Well, I want to tell you how I see things because it might help you have another way to look at it.
MHojoMoko: Most people I have met don't know what extreme pain is.
LASNER OWNZ J00: You are truly right that people who don't know what pain is can't have true feeling.
LASNER OWNZ J00: There is only feeling, and not feeling.
MHojoMoko: Yep
LASNER OWNZ J00: You can't choose what to feel, or to feel some things and not others, because you'll end up with only fake emotions.
LASNER OWNZ J00: So you are right about that.
MHojoMoko: They feel joy because that is all they know. They fit into a group and they are wanted while I am not.
LASNER OWNZ J00: It's not that simple.
MHojoMoko: I am not wanted by any group.
LASNER OWNZ J00: There are different levels of living.
MHojoMoko: I have no real religion either.
MHojoMoko: My level isn't very good.
LASNER OWNZ J00: People can be alive on different levels.
MHojoMoko: I try to feel joy through drugs. That seems to work for awhile.
MHojoMoko: Now the drugs don't work.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Well, emotions are real or fake based on where they come from.
MHojoMoko: They were great for a year but now they are nothing. I have no problem with fake emotions, they are better than my only real emotion which is pain.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Emotion which is artificially, chemically contrived by a foreign substance that subverts the body's natural mechanisms for administering emotion is fake.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Drugs induce fake emotion.
MHojoMoko: When the drugs don't work I fel bad.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Drugs are like the emotional equivalent of masturbation.
MHojoMoko: I like fake emotion.
LASNER OWNZ J00: You don't really like it... because it's temporary.
MHojoMoko: I hate my real emotions.
MHojoMoko: I want it to last longer.
MHojoMoko: It used to last longer.
MHojoMoko: I got used to the pills so it doesn't work anymore.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Well, you need to understand something about emotions.
LASNER OWNZ J00: There is a philosopher called Hobbes, who said that humans operate on appetite and aversion.
LASNER OWNZ J00: He basically said that people's actions are controlled by their perceived probability of inducing pain or pleasure.
LASNER OWNZ J00: But, he said there is something else:
MHojoMoko: I can't control my emotions. I have no control over them at all. I need pills to make them better. otherwise, I fall into dispair.
LASNER OWNZ J00: He said that people have a will.
LASNER OWNZ J00: The will is an emotion too.
MHojoMoko: My will left me ages ago.
MHojoMoko: I use pills to give me will power.
LASNER OWNZ J00: But it's less directly a reaction to the environment, and more a reaction to who someone is, or their self.
MHojoMoko: What I am today is not how I was 10 years ago.
LASNER OWNZ J00: When people react, it is an emotional response.
MHojoMoko: I am not the same person. People used to care about me but now they don't.
LASNER OWNZ J00: But when people think and decide consciously, it is a deliberation between appetite and aversion, which becomes a final appetite called the will.
MHojoMoko: If someone would allow me into their group then I would be better.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Consciousness and striving to think objectively are the keys to excersizing the will.
MHojoMoko: That is all fine and well but I have no will left.
MHojoMoko: I walk around in circles all day or lay down in my bed.
MHojoMoko: I can't go places because I get no joy in doing so.
LASNER OWNZ J00: And because the will is based on a deliberation between all the different appetites and aversions of your person (which would be things like how you were raised, what you deeply believe, the effects of your experiences, etc.) then by manifesting the will you will become self-actualized, and be happy.
MHojoMoko: I used to go places but now these places don't mean anything to me.
MHojoMoko: Strange...
LASNER OWNZ J00: Your brain has become set in a way of feeling because it is used to manufacturing those chemicals.
LASNER OWNZ J00: You are being controlled by reactive emotion, instead of conscious emotion.
MHojoMoko: Perhaps, but I am still rejected by the world and that doesn't help matters one bit.
LASNER OWNZ J00: There is another philosopher called Spinoza. He says that "passions of the mind", or emotions, are "effects" on the mind.
MHojoMoko: I felt something for some reason just now.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Listen to this idea:
LASNER OWNZ J00: The more you understand the causes of something, like an emotion, the less affected you are, right?
MHojoMoko: I suppose so.
LASNER OWNZ J00: And the more aware of the emotion you are intellectually or mentally, the less if affects you, right?
LASNER OWNZ J00: That is because all emotions are reactions on some level.
MHojoMoko: I guess so.
LASNER OWNZ J00: For reactions to exist, they neccessitate a corresponding lack of consciousness or awareness.
MHojoMoko: I don't get scared easily.
LASNER OWNZ J00: So the more you are aware of your emotions and the causes of them, the more they cease to be emotions.
MHojoMoko: I am very aware of things around me but I feel nothing for them.
MHojoMoko: People have tried to scare me but they have all failed.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Which is why Spinoza said "The more awareness of the mind one has of its effects, the more they cease to be effects"
MHojoMoko: However, when I turn the tables on them, they are scared.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Well, these effects are subverting your will.
MHojoMoko: Perhaps I am too much aware of things.
LASNER OWNZ J00: They are determining your outlook on life, instead of conscious or objective perception
MHojoMoko: When I was young, I could feel.
MHojoMoko: I guess I wish I was ignorant again.
MHojoMoko: I could feel then.
LASNER OWNZ J00: It's not a matter of ignorance, it's how you're dealing with it.
MHojoMoko: Many years ago when I didn't know the world.
MHojoMoko: I can't seem to deal with it too much. I have turned off the world in some way because I don't like the look of it.
LASNER OWNZ J00: If you will accept that pain is inevitable but neccessary, and that it is part of your job in life to learn how to seperate reaction from will, then you will move on.
MHojoMoko: I have turned off all emotion for some reason.
MHojoMoko: I have trouble seeing right from wrong.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Well, you reacted with number 2.
MHojoMoko: Oh?
LASNER OWNZ J00: There are three reactions to rejection, you chose the second: shutting off internally.
LASNER OWNZ J00: But you know what?
LASNER OWNZ J00: It doesn't really work..
MHojoMoko: Maybe I can think on some levels.
MHojoMoko: Oh?
LASNER OWNZ J00: There is only one reaction which solves the problem.
MHojoMoko: What is that?
LASNER OWNZ J00: That is to believe (because believing is more than knowing) that the pain and rejection is real, and meaningful to you, but not a reflection on your value as a person, and not the only possibility.
LASNER OWNZ J00: At the bottom of everything is that people need to love themselves.
MHojoMoko: I don't love myself I am afraid.
MHojoMoko: I wish I wasn't me.
LASNER OWNZ J00: When people's love of themselves depends on the approval of others, they either cannot conform so hate themselves, or conform but no longer have a self.
MHojoMoko: People tell me that I am ugly on Neo-Geo.com.
LASNER OWNZ J00: It doesn't matter what they say.
LASNER OWNZ J00: It also doesn't matter how attractive you are.
MHojoMoko: I just want someone to be attracted to me once in my life.
MHojoMoko: So far this has never happened.
MHojoMoko: I see people I think llook worse than me and they are wanted while I am not.
LASNER OWNZ J00: People who aren't gifted with looks rely on others to become attracted to them through their personalities.
MHojoMoko: This hasn't worked for me.
MHojoMoko: My personality is too powerful sometimes.
LASNER OWNZ J00: If your personality is tainted by the hatred, pain, and rage, it will come through in your interactions with others.
LASNER OWNZ J00: The second reaction people have to being rejected is to disconnect, or shut off internally. So while they might be extremely extroverted and social, they have nothing inside.
MHojoMoko: People at my school don't give me a chance because I am not in their group.
MHojoMoko: It is true that I feel empty inside all the time.
LASNER OWNZ J00: They often pretend to adopt nihilistic views of the world, but the truth is, their view is "nihilism, or nothing exists with the exception of my self esteem."
MHojoMoko: I don't feel anything. I want to escape this world.
MHojoMoko: Strange no?
LASNER OWNZ J00: They can never have intimate friendships or relationships with others because they aren't willing to accept that the world has meaning.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Because if the world has meaning, then so does their pain.
MHojoMoko: I have hate battled up inside of me and I want to let it go but I can't.
LASNER OWNZ J00: I can understand.
MHojoMoko: I have sen no meaning in this world so far.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Have you ever thought about what emotion is?
MHojoMoko: I see idiots who are not on my level.
MHojoMoko: No, I don't know what love is.
LASNER OWNZ J00: I understand how you feel.
MHojoMoko: I can't feel love.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Well, let me explain something:
MHojoMoko: I might have at one time but not anymore.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Do you believe that people have a soul?
MHojoMoko: I can't feel joy either.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Or do you believe that you have a soul?
LASNER OWNZ J00: Or in God?
MHojoMoko: I used to but now the only people I think who have a soul are those who feel pain.
MHojoMoko: Only those who know extreme pain can have a soul. Other people who don't know what pain is can't have true feeling.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Well, I want to tell you how I see things because it might help you have another way to look at it.
MHojoMoko: Most people I have met don't know what extreme pain is.
LASNER OWNZ J00: You are truly right that people who don't know what pain is can't have true feeling.
LASNER OWNZ J00: There is only feeling, and not feeling.
MHojoMoko: Yep
LASNER OWNZ J00: You can't choose what to feel, or to feel some things and not others, because you'll end up with only fake emotions.
LASNER OWNZ J00: So you are right about that.
MHojoMoko: They feel joy because that is all they know. They fit into a group and they are wanted while I am not.
LASNER OWNZ J00: It's not that simple.
MHojoMoko: I am not wanted by any group.
LASNER OWNZ J00: There are different levels of living.
MHojoMoko: I have no real religion either.
MHojoMoko: My level isn't very good.
LASNER OWNZ J00: People can be alive on different levels.
MHojoMoko: I try to feel joy through drugs. That seems to work for awhile.
MHojoMoko: Now the drugs don't work.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Well, emotions are real or fake based on where they come from.
MHojoMoko: They were great for a year but now they are nothing. I have no problem with fake emotions, they are better than my only real emotion which is pain.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Emotion which is artificially, chemically contrived by a foreign substance that subverts the body's natural mechanisms for administering emotion is fake.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Drugs induce fake emotion.
MHojoMoko: When the drugs don't work I fel bad.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Drugs are like the emotional equivalent of masturbation.
MHojoMoko: I like fake emotion.
LASNER OWNZ J00: You don't really like it... because it's temporary.
MHojoMoko: I hate my real emotions.
MHojoMoko: I want it to last longer.
MHojoMoko: It used to last longer.
MHojoMoko: I got used to the pills so it doesn't work anymore.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Well, you need to understand something about emotions.
LASNER OWNZ J00: There is a philosopher called Hobbes, who said that humans operate on appetite and aversion.
LASNER OWNZ J00: He basically said that people's actions are controlled by their perceived probability of inducing pain or pleasure.
LASNER OWNZ J00: But, he said there is something else:
MHojoMoko: I can't control my emotions. I have no control over them at all. I need pills to make them better. otherwise, I fall into dispair.
LASNER OWNZ J00: He said that people have a will.
LASNER OWNZ J00: The will is an emotion too.
MHojoMoko: My will left me ages ago.
MHojoMoko: I use pills to give me will power.
LASNER OWNZ J00: But it's less directly a reaction to the environment, and more a reaction to who someone is, or their self.
MHojoMoko: What I am today is not how I was 10 years ago.
LASNER OWNZ J00: When people react, it is an emotional response.
MHojoMoko: I am not the same person. People used to care about me but now they don't.
LASNER OWNZ J00: But when people think and decide consciously, it is a deliberation between appetite and aversion, which becomes a final appetite called the will.
MHojoMoko: If someone would allow me into their group then I would be better.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Consciousness and striving to think objectively are the keys to excersizing the will.
MHojoMoko: That is all fine and well but I have no will left.
MHojoMoko: I walk around in circles all day or lay down in my bed.
MHojoMoko: I can't go places because I get no joy in doing so.
LASNER OWNZ J00: And because the will is based on a deliberation between all the different appetites and aversions of your person (which would be things like how you were raised, what you deeply believe, the effects of your experiences, etc.) then by manifesting the will you will become self-actualized, and be happy.
MHojoMoko: I used to go places but now these places don't mean anything to me.
MHojoMoko: Strange...
LASNER OWNZ J00: Your brain has become set in a way of feeling because it is used to manufacturing those chemicals.
LASNER OWNZ J00: You are being controlled by reactive emotion, instead of conscious emotion.
MHojoMoko: Perhaps, but I am still rejected by the world and that doesn't help matters one bit.
LASNER OWNZ J00: There is another philosopher called Spinoza. He says that "passions of the mind", or emotions, are "effects" on the mind.
MHojoMoko: I felt something for some reason just now.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Listen to this idea:
LASNER OWNZ J00: The more you understand the causes of something, like an emotion, the less affected you are, right?
MHojoMoko: I suppose so.
LASNER OWNZ J00: And the more aware of the emotion you are intellectually or mentally, the less if affects you, right?
LASNER OWNZ J00: That is because all emotions are reactions on some level.
MHojoMoko: I guess so.
LASNER OWNZ J00: For reactions to exist, they neccessitate a corresponding lack of consciousness or awareness.
MHojoMoko: I don't get scared easily.
LASNER OWNZ J00: So the more you are aware of your emotions and the causes of them, the more they cease to be emotions.
MHojoMoko: I am very aware of things around me but I feel nothing for them.
MHojoMoko: People have tried to scare me but they have all failed.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Which is why Spinoza said "The more awareness of the mind one has of its effects, the more they cease to be effects"
MHojoMoko: However, when I turn the tables on them, they are scared.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Well, these effects are subverting your will.
MHojoMoko: Perhaps I am too much aware of things.
LASNER OWNZ J00: They are determining your outlook on life, instead of conscious or objective perception
MHojoMoko: When I was young, I could feel.
MHojoMoko: I guess I wish I was ignorant again.
MHojoMoko: I could feel then.
LASNER OWNZ J00: It's not a matter of ignorance, it's how you're dealing with it.
MHojoMoko: Many years ago when I didn't know the world.
MHojoMoko: I can't seem to deal with it too much. I have turned off the world in some way because I don't like the look of it.
LASNER OWNZ J00: If you will accept that pain is inevitable but neccessary, and that it is part of your job in life to learn how to seperate reaction from will, then you will move on.
MHojoMoko: I have turned off all emotion for some reason.
MHojoMoko: I have trouble seeing right from wrong.
LASNER OWNZ J00: Well, you reacted with number 2.
MHojoMoko: Oh?
LASNER OWNZ J00: There are three reactions to rejection, you chose the second: shutting off internally.
LASNER OWNZ J00: But you know what?
LASNER OWNZ J00: It doesn't really work..
MHojoMoko: Maybe I can think on some levels.
MHojoMoko: Oh?
LASNER OWNZ J00: There is only one reaction which solves the problem.
MHojoMoko: What is that?
LASNER OWNZ J00: That is to believe (because believing is more than knowing) that the pain and rejection is real, and meaningful to you, but not a reflection on your value as a person, and not the only possibility.
LASNER OWNZ J00: At the bottom of everything is that people need to love themselves.
MHojoMoko: I don't love myself I am afraid.
MHojoMoko: I wish I wasn't me.
LASNER OWNZ J00: When people's love of themselves depends on the approval of others, they either cannot conform so hate themselves, or conform but no longer have a self.
MHojoMoko: People tell me that I am ugly on Neo-Geo.com.
LASNER OWNZ J00: It doesn't matter what they say.
LASNER OWNZ J00: It also doesn't matter how attractive you are.
MHojoMoko: I just want someone to be attracted to me once in my life.
MHojoMoko: So far this has never happened.
MHojoMoko: I see people I think llook worse than me and they are wanted while I am not.
LASNER OWNZ J00: People who aren't gifted with looks rely on others to become attracted to them through their personalities.
MHojoMoko: This hasn't worked for me.
MHojoMoko: My personality is too powerful sometimes.
LASNER OWNZ J00: If your personality is tainted by the hatred, pain, and rage, it will come through in your interactions with others.