Homeowners - did your parents help you buy a home?

[Liquid Snake]

Jesus, your parents grew up in the 30s? How old are you, 60?

http://www.civilwarnews.com/reviews/2015br/may/corbett-martelle-br051510.html

I thought you were born in Civil War

 

[GregN]

Jesus, your parents grew up in the 30s? How old are you, 60?

A lot of people's parents may well have money but it's saved for retirement, not necessarily to give away to children. Do you have any siblings? That's going to make a big difference to how much help your parents could afford to offer.

I assume it works out a lot easier in China as everyone only has one kid, you're channeling two incomes into one child. With the relaxation of the one child policy I wouldn't be surprised if this tradition was axed within a couple of generations.

I'm an only child.

My parents were children in the 30s - My Mom is 78 and my Dad is 84. I'm 40. I was a late child.

 

[madman]

My parents were children in the 30s - My Mom is 78 and my Dad is 84. I'm 40. I was a late child.

Ah, wow. Usually parents of that generation had kids much younger than they do today.

 

[GregN]

Ah, wow. Usually parents of that generation had kids much younger than they do today.

That's true. They say the more educated you are, the later you have kids. I've noticed lawyers and famous people have kids late.

 

[Liquid Snake]

Ah, wow. Usually parents of that generation had kids much younger than they do today.

True.

 

[madman]

That's true. They say the more educated you are, the later you have kids. I've noticed lawyers and famous people have kids late.

Or not at all.

 

[Liquid Snake]

Or not at all.

GregN, normally they say later you have kids, smarter your kids are.
Not sure if it's true. (sometimes kids will have behavior problems)

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-s...ly-to-have-intelligent-children-a6779521.html

 

[RabbitTroop]

Pensions here are fucking shit. All of the money and resources go into the child. You have peasants who saved their entire life's savings so their son could buy a house and a car. The child has always been the parents' retirement plan, with parents moving in with the kid when they get old. At least in America people have a 401k; in China, they just have their kid. I mean, the local teachers at the primary school I work with only make like 2k or 3kRMB a month (not counting doing private classes outside school). That's a goddamn pittance. Pretty difficult to save a lot of money from that.

It was never a one child act, anyway. Lots of people here have a brother or sister, especially if they're from the countryside. It was just you'd get your ass taxed out the wazoo if you lived in a city and had two kids. I met a Catholic guy who was from a village (he moved to California, holy shit talk about moving on up) and he had like six brothers/sisters...

Speaking of home prices, check out the madness going on down in southern China in Shenzhen: Prices of central apartments in Shenzhen (average wage: 803 USD per month) are currently higher than average prices in Manhattan island (average wage: 11388 USD per month).

http://www.scmp.com/property/hong-k...cends-over-shenzhens-formerly-red-hot-housing

It's gonna be Japan all over again. Until then I'll just ride the wave.

When my company's Beijing office shuttered, we moved a lot of the Development staff to So Cal. A lot of them were shocked at how cheap Los Angeles was as compared to where they were coming from. Being that wages were pretty much uniform between sites, that meant big raises for the folks from China. Probably another reason so many Chinese investors are buying in downtown Los Angeles.

 

[RabbitTroop]

GregN, normally they say later you have kids, smarter your kids are.
Not sure if it's true. (sometimes kids will have behavior problems)

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-s...ly-to-have-intelligent-children-a6779521.html

I was a whoopsie-baby. My brother and sister were 13 and 14 when my mom was pregnant with me. For most of my life, my mom said she was having empty-nest fears and wanted to have another kid before it was too late. When she passed, her cousin told me at the funeral, "I still remember when your mom called me and told me she was pregnant with you. She cried and cried, saying she didn't want another baby..."

So, you know, eyes-open and stuff. Still, I don't blame her. They were well into their 30s when they had me and were probably psyched to be having my brother and sister out of the house in a few years. I sort of ruined any hope of a retirement for them. Not that a physically disabled father who was on SS, and a mother who worked for the state could have hoped for a posh-retirement, anyway. I'm still amazed at what they did on such a limited budget. I knew my parents were cheap, but never thought we were poor. After my mom died, I looked at her financial wizardry and couldn't believe what she had accomplished on so little salary. I'd have been destitute, and she raised three kids.

 

[Liquid Snake]

I was a whoopsie-baby. My brother and sister were 13 and 14 when my mom was pregnant with me. For most of my life, my mom said she was having empty-nest fears and wanted to have another kid before it was too late. When she passed, her cousin told me at the funeral, "I still remember when your mom called me and told me she was pregnant with you. She cried and cried, saying she didn't want another baby..."

So, you know, eyes-open and stuff. Still, I don't blame her. They were well into their 30s when they had me and were probably psyched to be having my brother and sister out of the house in a few years. I sort of ruined any hope of a retirement for them. Not that a physically disabled father who was on SS, and a mother who worked for the state could have hoped for a posh-retirement, anyway. I'm still amazed at what they did on such a limited budget. I knew my parents were cheap, but never thought we were poor. After my mom died, I looked at her financial wizardry and couldn't believe what she had accomplished on so little salary. I'd have been destitute, and she raised three kids.

wow.......she's a smart woman (can deal with limited income)

 

[norton9478]

So anyways, my parents didn't help me. When the government was offering a huge tax credit, I asked them for a loan (which they could have afforded) for the down payment with the plan to pay them back when I got the tax credit. But anyways, they declined.

But the old man did help me pay for the roof materials (even helped me with the install and clean up) as he had recently covered the rehearsal diner for my brother's wedding.

 

[HDRchampion]

Man you guys got some shit parents. I can understand if its some stupid shit like a sports car but buying a housing is an investment for their child & grandchildren, why the fuck would you not want to help if you can afford it.

 

[Electric Grave]

I agree with HDR on a way. If you're kid is responsible and committed I don't see why not.

 

[StevenK]

Man you guys got some shit parents. I can understand if its some stupid shit like a sports car but buying a housing is an investment for their child & grandchildren, why the fuck would you not want to help if you can afford it.

Some people regard lessons in responsibility as helping out. I'm not saying who is right or wrong, just that there are different ways of seeing parental cash gifts.

 

[norton9478]

Man you guys got some shit parents. I can understand if its some stupid shit like a sports car but buying a housing is an investment for their child & grandchildren, why the fuck would you not want to help if you can afford it.

My parents were great and did a lot for us. But any time I ever approached moms with an idea, she always acted like I was trying to scam her.

 

[Electric Grave]

^There's prolly a reason for it, lol

 

[HDRchampion]

Yup probably a bad child haha...

As soon as i became a father, it seems like my main priority is to make sure my child is taken care of present & future. Not just when they turn 18. its not like you can take your money with you when you're dead.

Never understood the western values, your 18 you're an adult now, get the fuck out....When your parents are old as fuck & cant take care of themselves they go to a nursing home. So much ass backwards.

 

[Electric Grave]

I wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment. I did leave my homeland when I was 18 though and I do not get along with my biological father (long story) so he's gonna have to put up with a home, lol.

I do however love my father that raised me, he died when I was 15 but he always helped his kids including myself, provided a complete education even doctorates, gave us cars when we graduated from high school. He was an excellent provider and helped my sisters a lot when they were married and getting started with businesses, houses, whatever came about. The thing is, all of my siblings are excellent people...I'm the black sheep, lol. All kidding aside, I think all of us would want the very best for our kids and are willing to help if they are responsible and smart about their investments.

I don't have any kids...that I know off, lol, nor do I plan to, but if I do someday, I'm definitely gonna do my absolute best to measure up to the plate with all the help I can. Parenting is a big deal, anything your kids become is a big reflection of you.

 

[StevenK]

Yup probably a bad child haha...

As soon as i became a father, it seems like my main priority is to make sure my child is taken care of present & future. Not just when they turn 18. its not like you can take your money with you when you're dead.

Never understood the western values, your 18 you're an adult now, get the fuck out....When your parents are old as fuck & cant take care of themselves they go to a nursing home. So much ass backwards.

I think most 18 year olds want to leave home rather than are pushed out. That's changed with it being so expensive to get on the property ladder now, and we're seeing people stay at their parental home for longer and longer. This is the western equivalent of helping out I guess.

I couldn't wait to get out and prove myself. Fuck hanging around my parents for an extra decade.

 

[BanishingFlatsAC]

Yup probably a bad child haha...

As soon as i became a father, it seems like my main priority is to make sure my child is taken care of present & future. Not just when they turn 18. its not like you can take your money with you when you're dead.

Never understood the western values, your 18 you're an adult now, get the fuck out....When your parents are old as fuck & cant take care of themselves they go to a nursing home. So much ass backwards.

I chose to go out on my own when I was 17. I was never forced out. When I came back from FL and was between places, my mom let me crash for a few months to save up. She did the same thing when my wife and I were waiting to close on the house and our lease was up. She made so many sacrifices as a single mother that I couldn't ask her for money, even if I wanted to. I also don't think I'd ever be able to let her sit in a nursing home and fade away... That shit ain't right.

 

[Electric Grave]

My Uncle and Aunt still take care of my Aunt's mother, ever since I known them she's been living wit them. Her husband died in his mid 40s, she never married again. My aunt had her move in with them and I always admired that. Me and my cousins always loved her very much. I even DJ'ed for her over 55 group parties and bingos when I was a little kid. I learn so much about folk music during those days, lol.

What I'm trying to say here is, being part of a big family I understand completely the sentiment. Plus no one is gonna treat your kids as good as your own parents anyway. I mean, there are exceptions I'm sure but in a loving family it's good to have your grandpa or grandma present. My grandpa died before I was born, but I was close to my grandma, she taught me how to cook, she was awesome. She died when I was here in the US at 85, I was 20 at the time. It felt awful being so far away when that happened.

 

[Heinz]

I think most 18 year olds want to leave home rather than are pushed out. That's changed with it being so expensive to get on the property ladder now, and we're seeing people stay at their parental home for longer and longer. This is the western equivalent of helping out I guess.

I couldn't wait to get out and prove myself. Fuck hanging around my parents for an extra decade.

I reckon, I was out of the door at 18 no fucking problems. I wasn't pushed out, no no I wanted to get the hell out. Everyone I meet who's still at home tends to have no idea about the struggles of life on your own. Still complaining about paying $50 board a week, ugh or that their parents don't let them have this or that in the house etc. come out into the real world, fail, succeed whatever just get out there. Sometimes you have to take risks in life. Does you good.

 

[GregN]

Man you guys got some shit parents. I can understand if its some stupid shit like a sports car but buying a housing is an investment for their child & grandchildren, why the fuck would you not want to help if you can afford it.

I agree there. Although my Dad is having some problems taking care of my Mother who has Alzheimers. She has trouble walking and getting up when she falls. Luckily we found a lift for $150, and the slings for $30 on CL. I've been staying with them as much as I can to help my Dad out with taking care of her.

 

[bloodycelt]

A co-worker of mine once commented on what he saw as a huge difference in how children were raised when he grew up (1970s in Corsica), and here (New England).

He was raised in a household (and according to him this still is a thing in Europe? ) where children were under strict discipline, you did as you were told.
However, once they became teenagers, they were pretty much trusted and treated as young adults. Hence he recalls his childhood not-so-fondly, and his adolescence very fondly.

In America, children are given large leeway, but when they become teenagers we curb-stomp them, and expect them to behave. (In my experience its more that... parents don't do arbitrary shit to enforce a rigid regime, its just as kids get older they want to do more shit (like hang out at a mall) then they did when they were perfectly happy playing with sticks in the backyard all day)

He noted that Americans he knew recalled fond childhoods, and awkward adolescence.

This may have an impact on how 18 year olds want to get the fuck out. And how now-a-days, these kids stay, and sort of extend adolescence along with it.

Of course another unique aspect of america is how we worship pioneers, so there is a romance of clawing your way up from the bottom to the top.

Edit: I'm fully aware that this information is from a single source, so I'm sure the other european members can either collaborate or contradict me here.

 

[LoneSage]

I agree there. Although my Dad is having some problems taking care of my Mother who has Alzheimers. She has trouble walking and getting up when she falls. Luckily we found a lift for $150, and the slings for $30 on CL. I've been staying with them as much as I can to help my Dad out with taking care of her.

To be fair though you have no life of your own so helping mom isn't as much of a hassle as it would've been if you got married and had kids.

A co-worker of mine once commented on what he saw as a huge difference in how children were raised when he grew up (1970s in Corsica), and here (New England).

He was raised in a household (and according to him this still is a thing in Europe? ) where children were under strict discipline, you did as you were told.
However, once they became teenagers, they were pretty much trusted and treated as young adults. Hence he recalls his childhood not-so-fondly, and his adolescence very fondly.

In America, children are given large leeway, but when they become teenagers we curb-stomp them, and expect them to behave. (In my experience its more that... parents don't do arbitrary shit to enforce a rigid regime, its just as kids get older they want to do more shit (like hang out at a mall) then they did when they were perfectly happy playing with sticks in the backyard all day)

He noted that Americans he knew recalled fond childhoods, and awkward adolescence.

This may have an impact on how 18 year olds want to get the fuck out. And how now-a-days, these kids stay, and sort of extend adolescence along with it.

Of course another unique aspect of america is how we worship pioneers, so there is a romance of clawing your way up from the bottom to the top.

Edit: I'm fully aware that this information is from a single source, so I'm sure the other european members can either collaborate or contradict me here.

This is stupid. Teenagers have cars and fuck and go to parties. You make it sound like American teens are more like Chinese teens, where dating is strictly forbidden in high school.