THE SUPER SPY

by Bobak!

A rather untraditional review by a rather untraditional guy. Here is my irreverent presentation of:

'THE SUPER SPY' STORY A review by Bobak!

ALL RIGHT! The Super Spy!! (Punch) (Punch) I can't believe I actually own it now! (Punch) (Punch) (Punch) I remember when I first saw this game in the arcade... it was incredible! (Punch) (Punch) The graphics (Punch) the weapons (Punch) the radically new perspective on action gaming! (Punch) (Punch) (Punch) Whoa, that enemy attacked pretty damn quick! (Punch) (Punch) (Kick) Wow! You can kick too? (Kick) (Kick) (Punch) Hah-haa! Take that, ninja scum! (Punch) (Kick) Or are they terrorists? Uh-oh, the music changed... Must be a really tough guy, better use my knife (Shuck) (Shuck) Cool! Rocked him! And I got a gun! (Bang) (Bang) (Bang) (Bang) (Bang) Damn... out of ammo. At least I still got my knife! (Shuck) (Punch) I love this game!

(5 minutes later...)

(Punch) (Punch) (Punch) Wow... This game's kinda showing its age. (Punch) Wave after wave of the same people with varying colored costumes... (Punch) (Punch) What in the hell is the story line? I can't make heads or tails out of what the characters are saying... (Punch) Hmmm... (Punch) Ooo! An Uzi! All right! (Rat-ata-tat-ata-tat-at) Neat, this game isn't that bad! (Rat-ata-tat)

(1 minute later...)

(Punch) (Punch) Boy, these weapons suck... (Punch) (Punch) (Punch) (Shuck) Eugh! I died AGAIN!? This is ridiculous! (Punch) That's got to be the fifth time since I got the uzi! (Punch) This is soo cheap!!!

(5 minutes later...)

(Punch) This music is really, really, really lame... (Punch) (Punch) What the hell is "Sphero Symphony?" Sounds like the music is coming from the end of a hallway: over and over and over again... (Punch) (Punch) (Punch) (Punch) (Punch) (Punch) (Punch) (Punch) (Punch) Grrr... How in the hell do you not get hit in this game!!! (Shuck) (Shuck) (Shuck) (Shuck) Worthless knife... (Punch)

(10 minutes later...)

(Punch) (Punch) Why did I buy this game? (Punch) (Punch) (Punch) Its soo stupid... (Punch) (Punch) I thought it would be fun. At least I remember it used to be... (Punch) (Punch) For the 5 minutes I played it in the arcade... (Punch) ...back in 1990. (Punch) (Punch) (Punch) Well... I'm at least going to finish this damn game, these unlimited continues have got to be worth something!!! (Punch) This game is getting to me...

(45 minutes, 30,000 punches, and 10,000 cheap-shots later...)

(Punch) (Punch) Hah-haa!!! I win! ... ... What a second... This is it? THIS IS IT!?! This is the ending!? I wasted over and hour of my life to see a half-assed graphic and some mangled English? No! NOOOO! DAMN IT! SNK, I want that hour of my life back! I want it back... (Sob) Please, give it back to me... (Sob) (Sob) (Sob) This is all your fault you damn game!!! (Punch) (Punch) (Punch) (Punch)

(Epilogue) 

eBay Item # 123456789: NEO GEO CART- The Super Spy NO RESERVE!!!

 TAKE THIS CLASSIC NEO GEO HOME CART HOME!!! NO COLLECTION IS COMPLETE WITHOUT THE ORIGINAL SUPER SPY!!! INCLUDES BOX AND INST, SLIGHT WARE FROM BEING BATTED AROUND A BIT!! WORKS GREAT!!! NO RESERVE!!! BUYER PAYS ADDITIONAL $3.20 SHIPPING COSTS!!! HAPPY BIDDING!!!

Breakdown:

Graphics: 40% 

Sound: 25% 

Controls: 20% 

Replayability factor: nil 

Difficulty: insane, if not for the unlimited continues 

Overall Score: 30% 

by Bobak!    

by BillKwando

by Kazuya_UK - Courtesy of Kazuya's

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