So there is some fuck stealing mail in my apartment building

Normdog

Kula's Diamond
Joined
Aug 16, 2011
Posts
3,406
The key finder idea sounds like a good option. You could also leave the thief a note/letter (something like this) -


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Azra113

Ukyo's Doctor
Joined
Dec 26, 2010
Posts
1,213
Remember the novelty can of peanuts full of spring-loaded snakes? This is what you need to do, but with your shit. Get one of those containers and relabel it like it's a kitchy Rolex or Tiffany promo item - something some thieving asshole couldn't resist opening. Push those snakes down with a dowel and load it with turd - make sure it's not too runny - you don't want it to seep gravy.

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Be sure to powder lots of cayenne pepper atop of the poop, so when the feces splash onto his face itll burn him and cause him to smear it all over his face. Hopefully hell get an eye infection and you'll know the thief will be the dude with pink eyes.
 
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