So I saw Alien Covenant. I am pissed (spoiler free rant)

NeoTurfMasta · May 20, 2017

Total disappointment... There wasn't a single likable character and the story was all over the place. I didn't hate or love Prometheus, but it was significantly better than this thing.

NeoSneth · May 21, 2017

They probably blew all of the budget before they even starting filming. That's exactly what happened with Alien 3.

famicommander · May 21, 2017

box office bomb... 36 million dollar opening

hopefully the blade runner revival tanks too

Setsuna1982 · May 22, 2017

Spike Spiegel said:
SPOILER AHEAD:

Nothing in the history of cinema was as shitty and stupid as that FULLY DEVELOPED xenomorph coming out of the captain, and then practically waved to David as this sappy, endearing music played. I was besides myself with disgust at this scene.

END SPOILER

WHAT? HOW? Did they even WATCHED the previous movies?

Gorka · May 22, 2017

I really liked it despite the AI being an evil Wagner nazi and the SJW bingo (five diagonal by the showerscene). To me 1-3 are canon. I didnt care for 3 when i first saw it, but came to like it later and thought it was a good end for E.R. 4 was enjoyable like a fanfic, and i view Prometeus & Covenant like a parallell universe like Marvel zombies.

Gorka · May 22, 2017

Spike Spiegel said:
SPOILER AHEAD:

Nothing in the history of cinema was as shitty and stupid as that FULLY DEVELOPED xenomorph coming out of the captain, and then practically waved to David as this sappy, endearing music played. I was besides myself with disgust at this scene.

END SPOILER

SPOILER AHEAD:

Fully developed or mature in 15 minutes was the feeling i got. The only thing that really bothered me about the movie was why they bother with the xenomorphs at all when the mushroom spores are clearly a more superior bioweapon.

END SPOILER

Poonman · May 22, 2017

After Prometheus I remember talk of a sequel that would explore the homeworld of the engineers...is this schlocky horror flick the thing they went with instead? God, Hollywood sucks cock.

FilthyRear · May 22, 2017

So, does Covenant take place on LV-426?

smokehouse · May 22, 2017

FilthyRear said:
So, does Covenant take place on LV-426?

No...it takes place on the Engineer's home world.

Spoiler:

Atro · May 22, 2017

I don't get why you're so unimpressed...

Come on! It's fucking 2017. Movie's are all crap since "I don't-rememeber-the-last-good-one-I-saw".
By today's standards, it's not awesome, but entertaining at least.

Just remember that we've nearly 10 The fast & the furious movies. You cannot expect much to pop out the big screen nowadays...

Be honest with yourselves... What was the last really GOOD movie you remember?

Rot · May 22, 2017

Atro said:
Be honest with yourselves... What was the last really GOOD movie you remember?

John Wick....

Ip Man · May 22, 2017

Rot said:
John Wick....

+1

and john wick 2

MissFaith · May 22, 2017

Atro said:
Be honest with yourselves... What was the last really GOOD movie you remember?

I really thought 12 years a slave was the last decent film I saw. Powerful stuff and very well put together.

Atro · May 22, 2017

You guys got the point.

There are obviously good movies. You just can't expect much.
I just don't get my expectations high anymore. That way I can (try to) enjoy a movie.

Last great movie I reeeeeeally enjoyed was Django Unchained.

smokehouse · May 22, 2017

Atro said:
I don't get why you're so unimpressed...

Come on! It's fucking 2017. Movie's are all crap since "I don't-rememeber-the-last-good-one-I-saw".
By today's standards, it's not awesome, but entertaining at least.

Just remember that we've nearly 10 The fast & the furious movies. You cannot expect much to pop out the big screen nowadays...

Be honest with yourselves... What was the last really GOOD movie you remember?

I thought Ghost in the Shell was good, I thought Guardians 2 was good, so was Rogue One. I thought Deadpool was great. There's some other movies I've seen lately that are all pretty solid.

Covenant was just limp. The character development was weak, the tie to Prometheus was weak. The worst part was what I mentioned above in the spoiler section.

FilthyRear · May 22, 2017

smokehouse said:
No...it takes place on the Engineer's home world.

Spoiler:

What I do not get is why they made the choice for David to create the Alien as we know it. This breaks a ton of timelines. This new film takes place in 2104. Alien takes place in 2122, in that film the come across an Engineer ship filled with face hugger eggs. This timeline is completely different from what Covenant claims. Long story short, there's just no reason for David to have created the Aliens...zip.

So, still no info on the jockey. Prolly the next movie.

I still haven't seen it, but I'm hearing its mediocre so I'm reading spoilers.

Spoiler:

evil wasabi · May 22, 2017

Bogard said:
and john wick 2

That movie was made for 13 year old jack offs.

Killed the franchise.

evil wasabi · May 22, 2017

GitS was a great movie for what it was. The production quality was top shelf. It helped that the story wasn't written by millenials, but before the millenials were even shit faced sperm meandering the expanse of the vas defrens. I bring this up because a lot of stuff written lately seems aimed at the generation that grew up with the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon, but the writing in turn is as horrible as the dick-sterile garbage from those channels.

Ip Man · May 22, 2017

Evil Wasabi said:
That movie was made for 13 year old jack offs.

Killed the franchise.

yeah, i did think how the whole assassins being in every corner of everywhere was a bit too much, but the rest was pretty much more of the same thing as the first movie and more.

smokehouse · May 22, 2017

FilthyRear said:
So, still no info on the jockey. Prolly the next movie.

I still haven't seen it, but I'm hearing its mediocre so I'm reading spoilers.

Spoiler:

Maybe David made them because of Weyland in Prometheus?

Weyland said that David had "no soul", and when the Engineer woke up, he made David tell him that they were both "gods" because they created "life" (Engineers made us, and Weyland made David).

Maybe David was so advanced that he truly believed that if he could not be an actual human, the next best thing was to be a "god".

I could also be reading too much into the cahracter and/or movie. Like I said, I havent seen it yet.

jockey question below...

Spoiler:

pixeljunkie · May 22, 2017

Just adding another thumbs down to the thread - TERRIBLE film...just...fucking...awful

So much wrong with it that has been discussed here - Fuck Ridley Scott for essentially killing Neil Blomkamp's film, which would've been amazing.

Prometheus was garbage, this was more garbage and a slap in the face to the Alien canon...it attempted to develop the shitty universe from Prometheus for what was clearly an attempt to Marvelize the franchise. Problem with this is James Cameron already created a tangible/amazing universe you could play in for multiple films...but someone had to go and attempt to create his own universe for the films....and it sucks. Let it die already.

LoneSage · May 22, 2017

sounds like old man Ridley is out of his element. doesn't bode well for the new Blade Runner.

evil wasabi · May 22, 2017

Bogard said:
but the rest was pretty much more of the same thing as the first movie and more.

No dude. It wasn't. Not even slightly.

The choreography was all bullshit in JW2. Totally "ok, you wait there while I shoot this guy. Okay, fire my direction move here and I shoot you."

If you like that kind of hogwash, then good for you. But it was fucking terrible. Worst action sequences possible.

famicommander · May 22, 2017

LoneSage said:
sounds like old man Ridley is out of his element. doesn't bode well for the new Blade Runner.

He already ruined Blade Runner with his endless extra cuts that take all the emotional heft and character growth out of the story by making Deckard a replicant.

lithy · May 22, 2017

Spike Spiegel said:
This film was made for someone like me. Someone that follows all the films with such devotion, such as myself. I knew every nod, every easter egg that the film showed me. AND I DIDN'T CARE.

Why would you? Easter eggs are the dumbest trend going in this overarching trend of making only sequels, reboots, soft reboots, and in-universe films.

The movies don't attempt to stand on their own. They just wink-and-nod their way through it, relying on your love of a previous film to generate any actual level of interest.

In the end that is lazy if not downright bad filmmaking. If the world is good and the bad guys are familiar, you don't need easter eggs that only serve to get a few nerd's rocks off with OMG DID YOU SEE THAT?!? IT'S JUST LIKE WHEN....

Sequels are not inherently bad but I don't plan on stepping back into a movie theater to see anyyhing any time soon that is buzz worded up by a major studio to appeal to my demographic.

So I saw Alien Covenant. I am pissed (spoiler free rant)

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