Electroman said:
A prenup? Her and I talked about that years ago, and she's dead against prenups. Easy for her to say, its us guys that make the money usually. She feels (and she's Christian BTW), that marriage should be just totally naked of all binds and such. She was hurt that I wanted a Prenup and totally refused that.
Although this will be a little harsh, if you want to make a point, ask her what her Christian beliefs say about premarital sex. A great segway for other supposed "violations". I'm fairly sure prenups don't violate any religious doctrine -it's more like a literal insurance of your wedding vows.
Electroman said:
Prenups are logical... marriage is not. Go figure.
Its funny, people who told me that I should get a Prenup (or not get married at all, ever) have all been divorced.
Conversely, people who are happily married say don't bother with prenup at all, just let the love and trust lead the way, and by all means marry. My last boss's famous quote to this effect was, "A happy engineer is a married engineer".
Well, I'm not married and never have been -but I plan to be and I plan to have a nice "marriage contract". A lot of religions give you certificates for being Baptized, Confirmed, or what-have-you. When you get your official state marriage from the Court, you get amounts to a legal contract -the question is: do you want the basic terms, or do you want to get married on your own?
The logic of the your non-divorced friends is absurd because at any given time, any couple in that group could break apart... then guess which camp they're going to be siding with?
I know people who haven't been divorced who have a prenup. Trust me: if you get married with a prenup, it won't (and shouldn't) be in the back of your mind.
If your g/f is so hot on the whole "love and trust lead the way" stuff, there's no reason to be against it -it would be superfluous, but harmless.
Of course, I'm a law student now, so
everyone I go to class with is (a) going to have a prenup [although, in all honesty, very few are 100% infaliable -suprisingly, most couples write them themselves, only to have them figuratively shredded under the gaze of an opposing attorney] and (b) have a living will [i.e.: what do you want your family to do if you become a vegitable].
You absolutely never can be sure these days. Then again, if the idea of having to hawk your Neo collection in order to pay alimony sounds cool -by all means take that step!
Maybe you could talk her into talking to her spiritual advisor on the subject, I doubt there are a lot of religious figures trying to talk people out of them given the mammoth divorce rate.
The girl I'm with right now is in my law school class and dead set on working for big bucks -so I'm honestly not worried about fleeced. I don't know what your future monetary situation is... but keep that in mind, again -you never know what happens between two people over a period of 5, 10, 20 or more years.
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