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That bad?
Movie opinions thread (what have you seen, what did you think?)
- Thread starter aria
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That bad?
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It was a very hot day, a well cooled theatre, genuinely comfortable seating and an exceptional nap.
What I saw of it was fine enough.
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Benedetta
Lesbian nun sex. Paul Verhoeven still knows how to direct.
Charlotte Rampling is always great.
Lesbian nun sex. Paul Verhoeven still knows how to direct.
Charlotte Rampling is always great.
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- Jul 9, 2001
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In The Grey
Almost like an 80s action film than other recent Guy Ritchie movies. Very short on plot and normal style lots of action. I want to watch it again but I think it was weak for a Guy Ritchie movie needed more style or statham or a combination of both
Tough guys don’t dance
I’ve watched most of Cannon Films output but this one I’ve missed. Honestly I didn’t know wtf I was watching it was like a campy film noir? Sometimes Isabella Rosellini hams it up and this was one of those times. Norman Mailer wrote the story and directed it. It kind of feels like a bad movie Nicholas Cage would be in.
Almost like an 80s action film than other recent Guy Ritchie movies. Very short on plot and normal style lots of action. I want to watch it again but I think it was weak for a Guy Ritchie movie needed more style or statham or a combination of both
Tough guys don’t dance
I’ve watched most of Cannon Films output but this one I’ve missed. Honestly I didn’t know wtf I was watching it was like a campy film noir? Sometimes Isabella Rosellini hams it up and this was one of those times. Norman Mailer wrote the story and directed it. It kind of feels like a bad movie Nicholas Cage would be in.
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- May 4, 2004
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Body Snatchers- Abel Farrera’s remake of a remake. It’s a flawed movie with some good ideas and awesome effects. The biggest problem is that it feels like there were scenes that got cut multiple times and everything just escalated way too fast. The voiceover is also really bad and feels like a studio note. It does have a really good sense of paranoia and most of the performances are solid. Also a decent amount on nudity, including full frontal from Meg Tilly.
Overall I can’t say it’s quite a hidden gem but it’s pretty close.
Overall I can’t say it’s quite a hidden gem but it’s pretty close.
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- Nov 7, 2001
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Soldier Boyz - ridiculous action film - think The Dirty Dozen but with teenage delinquents and Michael Dudikoff in the Lee Marvin role.
Yeah, the premise is stupid as fuck, not even remotely in the realms of realism, and it's more the entertaining for it. Probably one of Dudi's best post-Cannon flicks. Lots of action, the acting isn't bad, perhaps one too many un-necessary close-up shots in some of the dramatic scenes, but a fun 90 minutes.
If you've ever wanted to see a black kid wave an M16 around in the most stereotypical hood gangster style you can think of, but in an actual active combat situation, then this is the film for you.
Yeah, the premise is stupid as fuck, not even remotely in the realms of realism, and it's more the entertaining for it. Probably one of Dudi's best post-Cannon flicks. Lots of action, the acting isn't bad, perhaps one too many un-necessary close-up shots in some of the dramatic scenes, but a fun 90 minutes.
If you've ever wanted to see a black kid wave an M16 around in the most stereotypical hood gangster style you can think of, but in an actual active combat situation, then this is the film for you.
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Took the kids today. It is... something approaching fine if you have no expectations for it (and why would you?). Otherwise its not very good. Although it was more enjoyable than the stupid Mario movie.
Probably just rewatch Season 1 instead.
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- Nov 7, 2001
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Steel Frontier - What do you get if you mash up elements of High Plains Drifter with Mad Max 2 - you get PM Entertainment's Steel Frontier.
This stars Joe Lara, Bo Svenson, and Brion James - it's a good time from start to finish, plenty of action, a pretty silly plot and good pacing. For a low budget 90s action flick with a post-apocalyptic Western theme, it's really good, and easy to forgive those little low budget elements that would have been polished out at a major studio.
Check it out.
This stars Joe Lara, Bo Svenson, and Brion James - it's a good time from start to finish, plenty of action, a pretty silly plot and good pacing. For a low budget 90s action flick with a post-apocalyptic Western theme, it's really good, and easy to forgive those little low budget elements that would have been polished out at a major studio.
Check it out.
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Ice - nope, not a bio-pic of everyone's favorite early 90s rap star Vanilla Ice, but a trashy thriller from PM Entertainment starring ex-porn star Traci Lords.
The plot is basically about a couple who recover high value stolen goods for insurance companies by stealing them back. Things go wrong when they recover a haul of diamonds and Lords' partner decides to keep the diamonds and sell them on the black market. Cue lots of double crossing and angry mobsters shooting shit up and blowing things up.
I'd say this falls into the so bad it's good category. I mean, it's dumb as fuck (the story), but it's strangely entertaining.
If you ever wondered what happened to Zack Galligan's career post Gremlins, then this is the film for you.
If you've ever wanted to see Traci Lords vacuum her lounge, then this is also the film for you.
The plot is basically about a couple who recover high value stolen goods for insurance companies by stealing them back. Things go wrong when they recover a haul of diamonds and Lords' partner decides to keep the diamonds and sell them on the black market. Cue lots of double crossing and angry mobsters shooting shit up and blowing things up.
I'd say this falls into the so bad it's good category. I mean, it's dumb as fuck (the story), but it's strangely entertaining.
If you ever wondered what happened to Zack Galligan's career post Gremlins, then this is the film for you.
If you've ever wanted to see Traci Lords vacuum her lounge, then this is also the film for you.
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Sadly my friend, on this rare occasion, this is not a euphemism.
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Darkman - Sam Raimi's comic book actioner about a scientist who gets badly disfigured during a botched murder.
I hadn't seen this since it came out on home video rental, 30+ years ago. At the time, I don't think I really appreciated it, but watching it with fresh eyes, it's a really entertaining film, with a great performance from Liam Neeson, and some darkly comic humor - so you know the movie isn't taking itself too seriously.
Make-up effects are very good, but some of the mattes have not quite stood the test of time when watching this on 4k. Nevertheless, there's lots of awesome stunts and optical effects that today would be ruined with the use of CGI.
If you've ever wanted to see Liam Neeson really lose his shit over a stuffed toy, then this is the film for you.
I hadn't seen this since it came out on home video rental, 30+ years ago. At the time, I don't think I really appreciated it, but watching it with fresh eyes, it's a really entertaining film, with a great performance from Liam Neeson, and some darkly comic humor - so you know the movie isn't taking itself too seriously.
Make-up effects are very good, but some of the mattes have not quite stood the test of time when watching this on 4k. Nevertheless, there's lots of awesome stunts and optical effects that today would be ruined with the use of CGI.
If you've ever wanted to see Liam Neeson really lose his shit over a stuffed toy, then this is the film for you.
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Its been a bit, but I finally had the time to watch Eddington...and it did not disappoint. That movie was a masterclass pressure cooker the entire time. It encapsulated everything from 2020, in one tidy package. One of the better films that I've seen, in some time.
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- Nov 7, 2001
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Excessive Force II: Force on Force - in-name sequel only to the Thomas Ian Griffith film.
Daft action flick starring Staci Randall as an ex-Navy Seal who goes on the hunt for her ex-boyfriend who left her for dead after a "disagreement".
As with all the good B-movie action films this gets from A-B with the minimum of fuss. Despite not having any name actors in it, the acting is pretty good, the direction is on point for what this is, and it's well shot. The plot is dumb as fuck, and the rather petit Ms. Randall looks a bit silly trying to wield a Desert Eagle, but you don't take stuff like this seriously.
Another good switch off for 90 minutes film, with Staci Randall being very easy on the eye.
If you've ever wanted to see a movie that excessively uses the word "force" in its title, then this is definitely the film for you.
Daft action flick starring Staci Randall as an ex-Navy Seal who goes on the hunt for her ex-boyfriend who left her for dead after a "disagreement".
As with all the good B-movie action films this gets from A-B with the minimum of fuss. Despite not having any name actors in it, the acting is pretty good, the direction is on point for what this is, and it's well shot. The plot is dumb as fuck, and the rather petit Ms. Randall looks a bit silly trying to wield a Desert Eagle, but you don't take stuff like this seriously.
Another good switch off for 90 minutes film, with Staci Randall being very easy on the eye.
If you've ever wanted to see a movie that excessively uses the word "force" in its title, then this is definitely the film for you.
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Out of the Past- A noir from 1947 starring Robert Mitchum, Kirk Douglas and Jane Greer. Mitchum is a former sleazy private eye running as gas station in a small town. One day a guy from his past shows up and pulls him back into some unfinished business from his PI days. Needless to say it involves a woman, money, murder and double crosses.
It‘s kind of boring, in part because it’s quite convoluted which keeps it from ever being very engaging. On top of there’s no real payoff from all the plot gymnastics. The movie also lacks a lot of the typical noir style, settings and beats which adds to the dullness.
Overall it’s not terrible but there’s never any hook or momentum.
It‘s kind of boring, in part because it’s quite convoluted which keeps it from ever being very engaging. On top of there’s no real payoff from all the plot gymnastics. The movie also lacks a lot of the typical noir style, settings and beats which adds to the dullness.
Overall it’s not terrible but there’s never any hook or momentum.
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Deadly Target - martial arts actioner starring Gary Daniels as a Hong Kong cop who comes to LA to extradite a Chinese triad leader.
Obviously the extradition goes wrong, the triad escapes, cue brawls and shootouts that lead to the inevitable final confrontation.
This is really dull, Daniels is pretty wooden, and the action is fairly average for a PM Entertainment release. The direction is meh, the editing leaves numerous continuity errors, plot holes a-go-go, and the soundtrack fails to lift the movie in any way.
Definitely one for die hard Gary Daniels fans only.
If you've ever wanted to see Gary Daniels drive around LA in a stolen black & white and which never gets stopped/spotted, then this is the film for you.
Obviously the extradition goes wrong, the triad escapes, cue brawls and shootouts that lead to the inevitable final confrontation.
This is really dull, Daniels is pretty wooden, and the action is fairly average for a PM Entertainment release. The direction is meh, the editing leaves numerous continuity errors, plot holes a-go-go, and the soundtrack fails to lift the movie in any way.
Definitely one for die hard Gary Daniels fans only.
If you've ever wanted to see Gary Daniels drive around LA in a stolen black & white and which never gets stopped/spotted, then this is the film for you.
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Double Indemnity- After being disappointed by Out of the Past I wanted a classic noir that I knew checked all the right boxes. A stone cold classic with incredible writing, cinematography and stellar performances.
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Ticker - what do you get when you put together a bunch of talented but washed up actors into a film with a director whose output quality is erratic to say the least?
You get Ticker - a 2001 action film about a terrorist black mailing the city of San Francisco over the release of his girlfriend from police custody.
Director Albert Pyun's back catalog is very hit or miss - it's either good (in an entertaining way), bad, or so bad it's good. Ticker falls into the "bad" category. The direction, even by Pyun's standards, is lacklustre; the editing leaves numerous plot holes and scene jumps; the acting is a mess.
This stars Tom Sizemore, Steven Seagal, and Dennis Hopper. All three have had very chaotic careers. All three can do better than this. Sizemore lacks energy, Seagal is almost horizontal, and even Hopper fails to chew the scenery as the movie's antagonist, plus sports a dreadful Irish accent.
The rapper Nas starts out as Sizemore's partner - and he can't act for shit. I hope is rapping is a lot better than his acting. We get Peter Greene is a supporting role, but he looks like he knows this film is fucked; and we get the gorgeous Jamie Pressly as well - and she probably gives the best performance of the lot.
This could have delivered so much more, but fails at every level. It's only worth watching to see how low some of these former A-listers had sunk by the early 00s.
You get Ticker - a 2001 action film about a terrorist black mailing the city of San Francisco over the release of his girlfriend from police custody.
Director Albert Pyun's back catalog is very hit or miss - it's either good (in an entertaining way), bad, or so bad it's good. Ticker falls into the "bad" category. The direction, even by Pyun's standards, is lacklustre; the editing leaves numerous plot holes and scene jumps; the acting is a mess.
This stars Tom Sizemore, Steven Seagal, and Dennis Hopper. All three have had very chaotic careers. All three can do better than this. Sizemore lacks energy, Seagal is almost horizontal, and even Hopper fails to chew the scenery as the movie's antagonist, plus sports a dreadful Irish accent.
The rapper Nas starts out as Sizemore's partner - and he can't act for shit. I hope is rapping is a lot better than his acting. We get Peter Greene is a supporting role, but he looks like he knows this film is fucked; and we get the gorgeous Jamie Pressly as well - and she probably gives the best performance of the lot.
This could have delivered so much more, but fails at every level. It's only worth watching to see how low some of these former A-listers had sunk by the early 00s.
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- Mar 22, 2016
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Mortal Kombat II.
To quote Chris Farley from Black Sheep: "What in the hell was that all about??"
High points:
Lewis Tan's character Cole who was -needlessly- invented for the first movie literally gets his head smashed in about 15 minutes into it. Like actual head smashed with Shao Khan's hammer. It was glorious. Then Khan pushes the headless body into the acid pool from the game. Should have happened a bit sooner, like 10 seconds into it but still. He's the fuck out of the way, thank Crom. Unfortunately no "owwahh?" like it sometimes did in the game lol.
Jax gets his arm torn off and stabbed through the neck, but not until the very end. Useless character as always.
The Kitana chick was pretty cute. Not a great actress, but entirely check outable. The Jade chick was cute, in a bald chick kinda way.
Some stages from MKII showed up like the aforementioned acid pool, as well as whatever level it is that has the swirling vortex in the back, but its blue instead of red. Though at some point for some unknown reason, it turns red for a few seconds, then back to blue. Eh.
Kano was still kinda fun, but I dont get why they made him a good guy, or anti-hero, or whatever.
Ed Boon shows up as a bartender, and bless his heart, he must've only attended 20 minutes of an acting course. Still cool to see one of the creators in it. Been nice to have Tobias show up somewhere, but he didnt.
Karl Urban. 'nuff said.
Scorpion gets his "get over here." I cant remember if he said it in the first movie.
Low points:
Just about everything else.
The chick they got for Sonya, who I didnt remember played her in the first movie is kinda yikes. Really long face. Like actually, its a long face. Weird.
The story is just... there, nothing really amazing, just like the first one. Except this one at least has the tournament instead of wasting 90% of the movie introducing characters (and inventing them) and 'discovering their powers.' I guess this one kinda plays out like the actual Mortal Kombat II game, story wise, I think. Though some elements of one of the newer games is in it, like some characters coming back as revenants, (Kung Lao, I guess he died in the first one?).
They threw in the word fuck like way too much. Not that its 'bad for my ears save the children' but more like "hey lets throw in 'fuck' every 5 seconds so they know this is a rated R movie! That'll sell some tickets!" Felt forced. Let the cursing flow like normal, guys. Its not that fucking hard. (see?)
No Sub-Zero. But he is resurrected as Noob Saibot, and they never use his name out loud, they just call him by his given name, Bi-Han. Good idea, since "Noob Saibot" sounds fucking retarded in a 'serious' live action movie anyway.
All told, it felt closer to the original with better effects which is nice. I still think the original MK movie is one of the better videogame adaptations out there, though the bar is in fact pretty damn low.
Download it or wait for it to hit your already subbed streaming service. Don't waste your money at the movies.
To quote Chris Farley from Black Sheep: "What in the hell was that all about??"
High points:
Lewis Tan's character Cole who was -needlessly- invented for the first movie literally gets his head smashed in about 15 minutes into it. Like actual head smashed with Shao Khan's hammer. It was glorious. Then Khan pushes the headless body into the acid pool from the game. Should have happened a bit sooner, like 10 seconds into it but still. He's the fuck out of the way, thank Crom. Unfortunately no "owwahh?" like it sometimes did in the game lol.
Jax gets his arm torn off and stabbed through the neck, but not until the very end. Useless character as always.
The Kitana chick was pretty cute. Not a great actress, but entirely check outable. The Jade chick was cute, in a bald chick kinda way.
Some stages from MKII showed up like the aforementioned acid pool, as well as whatever level it is that has the swirling vortex in the back, but its blue instead of red. Though at some point for some unknown reason, it turns red for a few seconds, then back to blue. Eh.
Kano was still kinda fun, but I dont get why they made him a good guy, or anti-hero, or whatever.
Ed Boon shows up as a bartender, and bless his heart, he must've only attended 20 minutes of an acting course. Still cool to see one of the creators in it. Been nice to have Tobias show up somewhere, but he didnt.
Karl Urban. 'nuff said.
Scorpion gets his "get over here." I cant remember if he said it in the first movie.
Low points:
Just about everything else.
The chick they got for Sonya, who I didnt remember played her in the first movie is kinda yikes. Really long face. Like actually, its a long face. Weird.
The story is just... there, nothing really amazing, just like the first one. Except this one at least has the tournament instead of wasting 90% of the movie introducing characters (and inventing them) and 'discovering their powers.' I guess this one kinda plays out like the actual Mortal Kombat II game, story wise, I think. Though some elements of one of the newer games is in it, like some characters coming back as revenants, (Kung Lao, I guess he died in the first one?).
They threw in the word fuck like way too much. Not that its 'bad for my ears save the children' but more like "hey lets throw in 'fuck' every 5 seconds so they know this is a rated R movie! That'll sell some tickets!" Felt forced. Let the cursing flow like normal, guys. Its not that fucking hard. (see?)
No Sub-Zero. But he is resurrected as Noob Saibot, and they never use his name out loud, they just call him by his given name, Bi-Han. Good idea, since "Noob Saibot" sounds fucking retarded in a 'serious' live action movie anyway.
All told, it felt closer to the original with better effects which is nice. I still think the original MK movie is one of the better videogame adaptations out there, though the bar is in fact pretty damn low.
Download it or wait for it to hit your already subbed streaming service. Don't waste your money at the movies.
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- Nov 7, 2001
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Exit Wounds - To date, Steven Seagal's last theatrical release, with a solid cast that includes Bill Duke, Bruce McGill, DMX, Eva Mendes, Michael Jai White, and Tom Arnold.
Seagal had just turned 50 when this was made, and clearly had not been keeping himself in pristine condition physically - you can see he's putting on weight, and in a number of hand-to-hand fight shots, it's clearly a stuntman doing the ass kicking. Nevertheless, if you switch your brain off, and don't question the plot, it's an entertaining 100 minutes and has a great soundtrack.
I didn't understand the need for the scenes with Tom Arnold, they're tonally at odds with the rest of the film. However, it's well directed and the action is very good.
If you've ever wanted to see Steven Seagal direct traffic, then this is the film for you.
Seagal had just turned 50 when this was made, and clearly had not been keeping himself in pristine condition physically - you can see he's putting on weight, and in a number of hand-to-hand fight shots, it's clearly a stuntman doing the ass kicking. Nevertheless, if you switch your brain off, and don't question the plot, it's an entertaining 100 minutes and has a great soundtrack.
I didn't understand the need for the scenes with Tom Arnold, they're tonally at odds with the rest of the film. However, it's well directed and the action is very good.
If you've ever wanted to see Steven Seagal direct traffic, then this is the film for you.
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- Jul 9, 2001
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Street Smart - running out of Cannon Films I’ve never seen but this is one. Weird seeing Morgan Freeman playing a pimp playing basketball, but he is good in the part. Christopher Reeves likewise is great in it, his character changes and grows throughout the movie. One of the better films around that time by them, enough action but not as schlocky I would say
Nightcrawler
I don’t know what took me so long to see this. Almost felt like something that belonged more as a 70s or 80s film when studios had balls. I think it could have been darker even especially Jake Gyllenthal’s relationship with Rene Russo could have been explored even more. Still pretty good, would have loved to see it in Michael Mann’s hands style wise.
Nightcrawler
I don’t know what took me so long to see this. Almost felt like something that belonged more as a 70s or 80s film when studios had balls. I think it could have been darker even especially Jake Gyllenthal’s relationship with Rene Russo could have been explored even more. Still pretty good, would have loved to see it in Michael Mann’s hands style wise.
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- May 4, 2004
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Speaking of Gyllenhaal
Enemy- One of Denis Villeneuve lesser known movies but one of his most interesting. Jake Gyllenhaal plays a sort of sad sack college professor, one night out of boredom he watches a movie and notices that one of the actors looks just like him. He becomes fixated on finding out more about the actor which goes from googling him to straight up stalking. The two eventually decide to meet and things go poorly. (Gyllenhaal plays both characters) That starts a chain of events that also involves their significant others and some pretty twisted stuff.
It’s a very dark move with a heavy sense of anxiety and surrealism. Being a Villeneuve film it‘s meticulously shot and edited, the whole thing has a heavy yellow tint which really adds to the uneasy feeling. The performances are excellent and Gyllenhaal is fantastic in dual roles.
Definitely recommended, but if you are a Dune fan don’t expect that kind of movie. This is a very small, slow and strange film that’s not for everyone.
Enemy- One of Denis Villeneuve lesser known movies but one of his most interesting. Jake Gyllenhaal plays a sort of sad sack college professor, one night out of boredom he watches a movie and notices that one of the actors looks just like him. He becomes fixated on finding out more about the actor which goes from googling him to straight up stalking. The two eventually decide to meet and things go poorly. (Gyllenhaal plays both characters) That starts a chain of events that also involves their significant others and some pretty twisted stuff.
It’s a very dark move with a heavy sense of anxiety and surrealism. Being a Villeneuve film it‘s meticulously shot and edited, the whole thing has a heavy yellow tint which really adds to the uneasy feeling. The performances are excellent and Gyllenhaal is fantastic in dual roles.
Definitely recommended, but if you are a Dune fan don’t expect that kind of movie. This is a very small, slow and strange film that’s not for everyone.
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I wonder how many spring rolls were at craft services during production. Without fami here I guess we'll never know. Thanks a lot hyphen.