I am starting a comic book- writing only at this point.

[neobuyer]

All I have that's finished enough for eyes other than my own is the opening caption- just a bubble outlined set of white letters over a black BG

"It’s the eye, so to speak. I imagine there is more than a handful of people- hundreds, thousands maybe- That have the details of the truth pass before them. Yet they know nothing of the truth we speak of. They don’t see the puzzle- they see the pieces. And even of those that see most or all of the pieces, only the eye of the gifted, or of the fucking damned- sees the truth."

"Which one are you…?"

That's the first page- and a snippet of a conversation between two central characters

 

[Nesagwa]

This is all you have?

 

[neobuyer]

The dialog at the beginning so far is a bit bland- I wanted it to be trite and bland at first- but it may not work- I may need to 'Rock n' Roll' it up so people don't think it bores right out of the gate.

Pt. 1: A CONVERSATION IN THE DARK

Mark G.: "So how've you been man. I can't even believe we're sitting here together after all these years. "

Ted S: "Yeah.... I know it's kind of surreal..."

Mark G.: "So what have you been up to man?!"

Ted S: "A slow, meandering crawl away from life- and into a bucket of anchovy-flavoured and ricotta textured shit."

Mark G: "I'm sorry man, that sucks- I wish we could have got back in touch sooner..."

Ted S: "Hey, shouldn't you have grown up all the way Mark? Like, 'man'? 'sucks'? You sound like I just rescued you from smoking out in the cooler at that restaurant yesterday..."

Mark G: "It's just how I talk when I'm with friends, I was always a simple guy. You used to mock my simplicity!"

Ted S: "I don't mean to mock you again Mark. I'm sorry"

Mark G: "No no, its fine. I came to see you expecting to find you like you were...."

Ted S: "Hah, and now you see the same shadow- against the same wall- but not the man there that should be casting it."

Mark G: "Ted, I came, to be honest, not just out of frendship, but out of business."

Ted S: "Really? Fine, like what sort of business?"

Mark G: "It's a long story and one I think you've been waiting to hear for twenty years Ted..."

Ted S: "Go on. Really I am more than happy to just sit and listen."

 

[bokmeow]

The dialog at the beginning so far is a bit bland- I wanted it to be trite and bland at first- but it may not work- I may need to 'Rock n' Roll' it up so people don't think it bores right out of the gate.

Pt. 1: A CONVERSATION IN THE DARK

Mark G.: "So how've you been man. I can't even believe we're sitting here together after all these years. "

Ted S: "Yeah.... I know it's kind of surreal..."

Mark G.: "So what have you been up to man?!"

Ted S: "A slow, meandering crawl away from life- and into a bucket of anchovy-flavoured and ricotta textured shit."

Mark G: "I'm sorry man, that sucks- I wish we could have got back in touch sooner..."

Ted S: "Hey, shouldn't you have grown up all the way Mark? Like, 'man'? 'sucks'? You sound like I just rescued you from smoking out in the cooler at that restaurant yesterday..."

Mark G: "It's just how I talk when I'm with friends, I was always a simple guy. You used to mock my simplicity!"

Ted S: "I don't mean to mock you again Mark. I'm sorry"

Mark G: "No no, its fine. I came to see you expecting to find you like you were...."

Ted S: "Hah, and now you see the same shadow- against the same wall- but not the man there that should be casting it."

Mark G: "Ted, I came, to be honest, not just out of frendship, but out of business."

Ted S: "Really? Fine, like what sort of business?"

Mark G: "It's a long story and one I think you've been waiting to hear for twenty years Ted..."

Ted S: "Go on. Really I am more than happy to just sit and listen."

Sounds like a "closet" conversation to me.

Mark G is going to profess his love to Ted S in the next chapter.

 

[Nesagwa]

Other than the first page of dialogue, got any story or anything outlined?

 

[neobuyer]

Other than the first page of dialogue, got any story or anything outlined?

Yeah-

It's about spies, secrecy, the Human application of hyperdimensional 'magic', sociopathic killers and a mysterious, concrete and stone 'building' that decends down into the remote, New England countryside- so deep that no one knows what lies a mile beneath their already subterrainian offices and facilities.

It's a morbid sort of play on reality.

 

[bokmeow]

Yeah-

It's about spies, secrecy, the Human application of hyperdimensional 'magic', sociopathic killers and a mysterious, concrete and stone 'building' that decends down into the remote, New England countryside- so deep that no one knows what lies a mile beneath their already subterrainian offices and facilities.

It's a morbid sort of play on reality.

American Gothic meets Illuminati?

 

[neobuyer]

VOICEOVER(?)

“Years and years and years. A march through an ever worsening psycho-biological soup of failure. Perspective is perhaps the most underrated commodity of Human life, I think. The sort of clarity hindsight provides seems a mocking punctuation of personal decline. How can the psychology of Human devastation allow the devastated wretch to despise the undamaged? A content old fool, regardless of mental or physical poverty, is an inheritor of the most ethereal and sublime Human wealth. Knowledge is only power to those that function well enough to use it. I am in that last phase of my adulthood before old-age and obligatory senility. I have failed at life- and lost that which once seemed merely adequate- but now seems so golden and gleaming my mind can merely be taunted by remembrance in nightmare. I was passionate once, promising. And now that passion and promise are like ashes in the mouth of the condemned. I don’t want to endure more of the same any longer. The fact I have lived through decades of spiraling decline is merely testament to my personal cowardice. But I feel a definite change now that I feel Autumn creaking in my joints. Perhaps this morning, most definitely even, I choose to no longer see the face of the enemy in the mirror. The enemy whose timidity and existential uncertainty have kept razor from wrist. I now fear only more endless hours of this self awareness. Maybe even now. Right now…”

THE PHONE RINGS

 

[RAINBOW PONY]

make a comic about neo.com and put me in that shit.

 

[neobuyer]

make a comic about neo.com and put me in that shit.

Yeah, I should make an NG.com one, but it's actually alot of work-

The only one I ever did was the NGF ones

 

[PleaseKillMeNow]

Pt. 1: A CONVERSATION IN THE DARK

Mark G.: "So how've you been man. I can't even believe we're sitting here together after all these years. "

Ted S: "Yeah.... I know it's kind of surreal..."

Mark G.: "So what have you been up to man?!"

Ted S: "Porn. Gay mostly"

Mark G: "Oh, wow. So what, are you an actor or. . . "

Ted S: "Oh, no! It's nothing like that. You know when the camera has a lingering shot over an asshole?"

Mark G: "I . . . Can't say that I have. . . But go on."

Ted S: "I'm the man that holds the cheeks apart."

Mark G: "They have people that do that?"

Ted S: "Yeah. And we're even unionized."

Mark G: "No fucking shit?"

Ted S: "Yeah!"

Mark G: "Why can't they do it themselves?"

Ted S: "Most of the men are bending over. Have you ever tried to spread your asshole while bending over? It's real hard."

Bam. Second draft.

 

[neobuyer]

hehe

Yours is mantastic!

 

[onefortheride]

i totally vote for the Tom Wopat version. i like the new direction ... and it explains a lot.

 

[Domino-chan]

Hell I'm looking forward to more.

 

[neobuyer]

Hell I'm looking forward to more.

More of the homoerotic rewrites- or more of the original?

 

[neo_X7]

Cool it's like 1993 all over again!