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- Oct 12, 2003
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There's a quote from something and I can't remember where. "At least they were up front with their bullshit." I'd rank the JJ Abrams movies higher than they deserve just on account of their lack of pretension. It was less offensive to me their disinterest in telling a real Star Trek story because they never pretended they were trying to, and it wasn't the original actors other than Nimoy. They were making movies to compete with Fast and Furious, not with thoughtful science fiction. Which doesn't really exist much now to compete against anyway. So run-and-gun Chris Pine and Zachary whatshisname bothers me infinitely less than Picard and company shooting a laser machine gun off the back of a racing, bouncing space dune buggy.We need STK’s official ranking of all Trek Movies from best to worst, including the Chris Pine Trek franchise.
So the Trek movies ranked in order would be:
Star Trek: The Motion Picture -- not good, but at least an honest attempt at actual Star Trek.
Star Trek 2 -- most entertaining, with little flashes of horror like you'd see in TOS. I could imagine that Original Series soundtrack sting Duhhh duuuh DAH-NAHH playing when they put those worms in Checkov's ear.
Star Trek 6 -- solid premise, mediocre execution. But after 3 (which walked back everything that was good about Wrath of Khan), 4 (which was a joke), and 5 (which was just pure shit), 6 seems pretty great.
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After those three movies -- 1, 2, and 6 -- everything is garbage. And like I said at the top, I'd kind of rank the three JJ Abrams movies at the top of that garbage heap. There was no sense of deep disappointment as their was with the TNG movies. There was no dragging the original series through the mud like with the original actors doing their Save the Whales Comedy Variety Reunion Tour show. The Abrams movies were exactly as advertised: dumb action. Like, what if Star Trek was first created today, for today's audiences. Made by a bunch of idiot assholes.