Need Serious Replies: My Anger: People who get things handed to them

I have a problem with this...

In my area, lots of kids can be seen driving around in brand new:

- Escalades w/ 26" Spinners, TV's everywhere
- EVO's and STi's with custom wheels, upgraded turbos and bodykits
- Regular Lexus, Benz, BMW or H2
- Huge lifted trucks, some kid even has a CXT

Kids I know with custom paintball guns totalling $2200, Ski equipment, snow mobiles, 4 wheelers, and anything else you can imagine...

Now my question is - Should I be angry of this? Should it bother me at all?

My ol man says "Don't worry about what other people do, worry about yourself and what you do"

There are people on this forum that fall under that category, and I don't need to name, names.

Are there people like this where you live?

Firends?

Family?

You?

What do you think about it?

It seems to get worse and worse every year.

I was never spoiled like that, nor was I deprived.

But when I asked for a car when I was 16, I was told to get a job and buy one.

I ended up with my grandma's '88 Cutlass Ciera for $1,000.

I wanted a scooter when I was 13... there was a beautiful Honda Elite for $1,500 that I begged for.

Never got it, but worked all summer for an 83 Honda Urban Express, and I took extreme care of it.

Now as many of you know, my father, my uncle and myself are involved with development and construction.

My father and uncle are not poor - they are loaded, and thats where I want to eventually be.

But my father pays me equally as an employee like the rest of the guys on my crew.

2 guys actually make more than me.

But there is this one kid I know who sweeps, yes, sweeps a parking lot his multimillionaire dad owns and gets roughly $300 for 6 hours...

Thats insane.

Now I'm not bitching about money - I have some, not financially secure, but close to my goal.

The thing is, I have to work for everything I own, not that its a bad thing, but it feels like I ran a very long race to the top of a mountain, sweating, cutting myself on sharp rocks, and struggling only to be second to a guy who was dropped off by a helicopter and wins.

My best friend, who I think of as a brother is like this... and you can imagine how it was growing up.

He always had the best toys, games, sports equipment, cars, ect....

His first car was an 85 Cutlass Supreme, mint, with 16 switches on Daytons and Vogues...

I was on my second car... a 77 Caprice with the worst interior and exterior you could ever imagine.

Now, I'm going to have a nice chunk of cash by the time my daughter is 6 or 7, and I already know that I will not deprive her, nor will I spoil her...

And when she is old enough, she has to have responsibilities...

My brother in law has NONE...

Some of you remember RaGuS...

Well these days he is a lazy college student, gets poor marks, drinks, smokes, sleeps till noon and doesn't work.

My father in law is pretty poor, so the kid doesnt really get anything, but when he does, it was not earned in any way...

Now I'm not saying that you should work for every damn thing you get, but I hate these extreme cases of lazy, spoiled kids and adults.

Should I let it go?

Should I care?

What are your opinions on this?

No, because in about 10 years when mommy and daddy stop bailing them out, they'll end up like many people I grew up with..

...manning local restaurants and big box stores, serving me dinner or gingerly putting my expensive electronics in my trunk after you ask them the humiliating questions like "So, what have you been doing since I saw you last?"

TonK said:

My ol man says "Don't worry about what other people do, worry about yourself and what you do"

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That's as far as I read. Your dad sounds like a pretty smart guy, and you should listen to him. Is a tv in your car going to make you happy anyway? I enjoy driving. Getting stuff to "keep up" with people around you will just leave you feeling empty in the end. And broke.

I think alot of people would think I fall under this category. But I'd like to think it's not that bad. My parents have always been very generous with me. But have always taught me the value of a dollar. When I was about 12 years old I had a job at my dads office taking out the garbage 5 days a week for about $5 an hour. Later when I got older I still had odd Jobs at computer repair places, some frelance IT stuff (Networking small businesses), as well as doing Legit CD Duplications for Small business's like a Local Photographer. I've also had a very nice savings account where I would put these monies, and not touch them for a long while. (My parents do take care of my necessities). Right now I'm in college, and I don't have a job (aside from eBay) and I couldn't be more greatful. When I was a freshman I really wanted to work at a Giorgio Armani Boutique, but my parents told me it wasn't a good idea, and that they'd make sure I was taken care of. I take 19-22 (7-8 Courses) Units a Semester at College, and am on the Dean's List. Recently with the help of my savings, my Neo Collection, and of course my Parent's I got a new BMW. I feel really good that the car wasn't completely handed to me, and I worked towards it with my savings, Neo Profits, and working hard at school. I also feel very lucky.

I hope this stuff doesn't piss you off TonK (or other members), because I really like you. I just wanted to put my $.02.

Of course it sucks to see people handed everything on a silver platter while you, on the other hand, are out there busting your ass everyday trying to provide for your family.

The jealousy is going to be there, but don't let it consume you. The measure of a true man isn't by how many material posessions he has.

Just be thankful for what you have. What the hell are you going to do with all that dumb shit anyway? You really want to roll down the street in an escalade with spinners, a killer stereo, and some dumbass body kit?

I'm glad to here your dad pays you just the same as all the other workers. Sounds like you have a strong work ethic. Be proud you have to work hard for what you get, in good time your work will pay off. Well at least i hope so.

I'd say it makes me feel more disgusted than anything. That being said I don't see any difference in character between someone who has things handed to them without working and someone who has nothing because of not working.... one just happens to be luckier.

There's nothing you're going to do about it. I just can't help but laughing when I drive home from a 12 hour day in my beat to shit car and I hear this "THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP" coming from the left. I turn my head to see some teenage prick with a sideways ball cap and a car that's worth more than his life - and you know damn well he doesn't rightfully deserve any of it.

If I were born into money would I have accepted the sorts freebies that these brats get handed to them? Of course. If that were the case would I be working as hard as I do today - No... because I wouldn't know what it takes.

take your dad's advice and focus on your own life. it's not what you drive, or what you own, but how you live it yourself, and as far as I can see, and probably anyone else who knows you well, you're doing a good job, and you probably feel a lot better about yourself than that kid driving a souped up car his dad bought him (when he gets to be your age).

im happy i get to go to school for free. i'd hate to have to have my parents pay for it.

i feel bad they paid $1600 of my car among other things.

i just hope that in the end i can make 6 figures and give everything back 10 fold.

Stinky-Dinkins said:

If I were born into money would I have accepted the sorts freebies that these brats get handed to them? Of course. If that were the case would I be working as hard as I do today - No... because I wouldn't know what it takes.

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Everyone knows how hard you work, however, it's your own fault for being too stupid to stop working at neo-geo.com as a master-dork-smith, and start working someplace that pays.

wasabi said:

Everyone knows how hard you work, however, it's your own fault for being too stupid to stop working at neo-geo.com as a master-dork-smith, and start working someplace that pays.

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Master dork smith." Ahahahahaha. Make that my rank.

I'm not going to embarrass myself by saying how much I make over the internet, let's just say it's quite a bit. Enough to cream your jeans several times over. I refuse to let go of my '95 Cavalier, this mother fucker comes with a free vibrating feature. Such is the way of the master dork smith.

Stinky-Dinkins said:

I refuse to let go of my '95 Cavalier, this mother fucker comes with a free vibrating feature. .

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My '88 Tempo has the same feature!

Now that i think about this, an old lady used to drive my car...

Old lady...vibration...



I'm going to be sick.

can see why your dad is the boss. he has the right idea. he's gotten to where he has through work and focus probably, not looking sideways. you live your own life and take care of your kid, give her the values you want her to grow up with, love your wife and chill. because almost everything else in life is bullshit. and a real man is he who can provide for his family. just know that if you ever came into serious money you wouldn't treat your kid the way these parents treat there's. because believe it or not they're growth is being stumped. they are as poor as those with nothing, because they never learnt to fend for themselves, like Dinks said.
I had a similar upbringing to yours, so I know where you're coming from.
problem with the US. everything has to be shiny and new. there's alot more to life than what you can buy with a fucking dollar homie.

i'm gonna tell you something my friend told me a long time back: look will, we're not the kinda kids with rich parents to buy us cool cars or give us cellphones or $200 a week in allowance. we're the kids who get $5 if it's a payday week and are told to hold onto it." but you know what money isn't what we should concern ourselves with money, material things, cars, houses, whatever else. that's not what life is about. life is about spending your time on this earth doing what makes you happy. and if that's beefing up a honda then so be it man. i mean look at it like this: does money show you workmanship? if i handed you a $20 bill could you see in that how much work i did for it? could you see in that whether i just stole it from someone or worked my ass off for it? you can't tell anything from it. now go back in time and look at how it used to be done. one could trade something they made for something else someone else made. if i traded you a saddle i made for corn that you grew and harvested yourself i could see that you spent hours in the sun working on it, and that i spent hours in the barn sewing the leather together. and that there's quality and effort and craftsmanship in the products. now you see none of that. and what is money these days anyways? we get a check, we deposit it, we pay with things on our card, or through paypal, or by check, and we never actually touch the money we worked our ass off for. it is simply a number, not a tangible item, and not backed by anything, there's no gold standard, there's nothing behind this paper or this number but more numbers etched together by this guy or by some other guy. so i agree with your dad on this one. these kids you see these days are not your problem, neither is not having a whole lot of dough, the problem is that you're not focused on who you are. i think the love for hondas has brought you a few steps back to whom you really are. even the most levelheaded people all have to find themselves at some point.

My family isnt poor so I had a ton of shit handed to me. Do I feel bad, nope. Should I? Hell no.

You pay it back one day in other ways. For instance I'm taking care of a family member now. Am I bitter? Nah.
This just seems to be the flow of things. Granted I've never had shit like 2000 dollar pda's and other stuff, thats something you just don't ask for.

My only gripe is when parent start charging stuff for there kids, especially cars that are up in the 20 k zone.. People have this 'infinite money' ideal with charge cards, its truly retarded.

I wouldn't worry about this, alot of stuff is free. Some stuff I worked for, a great deal was free though, it just seems to work out this way. Being spoiled and getting a plethora of free shit is different. Spoiled is when you get tons of shit and you are still ungreatful. I want my kids to have all kinds of cool stuff. A few days back I gave a friend one of my cd's, I could have kept it, but hes into this music and its his deal, so he should have it more then me.

I do agree with the car stuff though, my first car I got from family was 2500$, I still have this car and keep it nice because I respect it (Plus the damn car is beautiful)

Hey if you can get a 20,000 car for free, you are sitting better then me. No need to lower myself by being jealous. In the greek community women are pretty spoiled. *At least my friend is, she admits it and shes really nice, so I dont really care haha)

You know, one of my cousins was like that at the age of 17

but he used to work a lot and he sold drugs

point of the story is, if you sell drugs, don't do it for too long or you'll get caught (I'm sure there's something in between I forgot to talk about, but take heed)

One thing about those bastard kids that get all the good shit are the same dumb asses who call my work asking why there bank account went overdrawn. Then I say............because you spent what you had.......and they say "How could I be out of money if I still have checks?" .......................................By the way here in LA I see what you see in your area ALL THE TIME! FUCKEN KIDS I couldnt beat a quarter out of my parents

Greatkiller said:

One thing about those bastard kids that get all the good shit are the same dumb asses who call my work asking why there bank account went overdrawn. Then I say............because you spent what you had.......and they say "How could I be out of money if I still have checks?" .......................................By the way here in LA I see what you see in your area ALL THE TIME! FUCKEN KIDS I couldnt beat a quarter out of my parents

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Damn thats terrible. Kids should not dip into bank accounts. I swear.

When I found my parents couldn't afford all the cool shit I wanted, I started up my own business.

These kids that drive around in brand new corvettes and 5 series bemmers make me sick. I knew this one puke in high school (in another town) that was given a brand new C5 corvette when he turned 16. I can't even begin to explain how much I hated him, not because of him having a new corvette (I could care less) but he had this pompous attitude that made me just want to stab him.

Truely I belive that you want to help your kids out in any way possible to give them a headstart in life, but you don't want them to end up like Billy Madison either... This really relates to Rawl's Social Contract Theory. Everyone starts out in the "original position" from which these people excel to different levels in their lifetime leaving their children to start from different positions that should be equal, but aren't. Don't really know where I'm going with this but meh...

I just hope one day I'll be able to be proud of owning some shit I had to work for that these bitches had given to them.

I fall into this category to a certain extent -- I mean, I have jobs and earn my own money, but I got this jobs because of *contacts* my parents have.

That is how I work at a TV show, write for a magazine and work as a model.

These kind of jobs, and my step-father's job also gives my family a lot of "advantages" like a lot of free stuff due to publicity deals (cell phones, drinks, clothes, services, trips, etc), free tickets to events, VIP passes and many other things.

Me and my family know we are truly privileged and we are really thankful for that, especially considering that things were not always like this.

Curt said:

Neo Profits

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If only those two words never went together

When I turned 18 I got a watch and after that that was it, I was on my own really. There are plenty kids around where I live who get everything they want when they want it as children and as an adult. I got a lot of things as a child but I felt bad if those things were really expensive. Seeing people like this doesn't piss me off, they don't have anything to do with me so I ignore them.

Kim _Kaphwan said:

i'm gonna tell you something my friend told me a long time back: look will, we're not the kinda kids with rich parents to buy us cool cars or give us cellphones or $200 a week in allowance. we're the kids who get $5 if it's a payday week and are told to hold onto it." but you know what money isn't what we should concern ourselves with money, material things, cars, houses, whatever else. that's not what life is about. life is about spending your time on this earth doing what makes you happy. and if that's beefing up a honda then so be it man. i mean look at it like this: does money show you workmanship? if i handed you a $20 bill could you see in that how much work i did for it? could you see in that whether i just stole it from someone or worked my ass off for it? you can't tell anything from it. now go back in time and look at how it used to be done. one could trade something they made for something else someone else made. if i traded you a saddle i made for corn that you grew and harvested yourself i could see that you spent hours in the sun working on it, and that i spent hours in the barn sewing the leather together. and that there's quality and effort and craftsmanship in the products. now you see none of that. and what is money these days anyways? we get a check, we deposit it, we pay with things on our card, or through paypal, or by check, and we never actually touch the money we worked our ass off for. it is simply a number, not a tangible item, and not backed by anything, there's no gold standard, there's nothing behind this paper or this number but more numbers etched together by this guy or by some other guy. so i agree with your dad on this one. these kids you see these days are not your problem, neither is not having a whole lot of dough, the problem is that you're not focused on who you are. i think the love for hondas has brought you a few steps back to whom you really are. even the most levelheaded people all have to find themselves at some point.

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i totally agree.
and tonk.
i wont say i totally agree with what vanilla thunder said about what happens
to rich brats. from my experience most rich people stay rich.
and most poorer people stay poor.
it's not a horrible sense of castes like in india but it's generally how things goes
look at politics and who generally are in office.
money comes from money.
but i do believe in karma, and what you do and how you live your life
eventually comes back to you.
follow the golden rule and i promise you that you'll never legitemately look
back on your life with regret.

Mushiki said:

I fall into this category to a certain extent -- I mean, I have jobs and earn my own money, but I got this jobs because of *contacts* my parents have.

That is how I work at a TV show, write for a magazine and work as a model.

These kind of jobs, and my step-father's job also gives my family a lot of "advantages" like a lot of free stuff due to publicity deals (cell phones, drinks, clothes, services, trips, etc), free tickets to events, VIP passes and many other things.

Me and my family know we are truly privileged and we are really thankful for that, especially considering that things were not always like this.

Click to expand...

Yeah, but you're a little different though. Someone I'd classify as spoiled is a out of control ass, for the most part people just fuck around on the site, but there is this attitude that goes with being spoiled, its a attitude that you can tell right off the bat the persons a jerk.

I see this mean cars pull into my college, and it is fucking frustrating, knowing those parents shelled out 20+ grand on some car. It is gonna take me years to afford something like that. I feel bad enough for getting the stuff I get. My moms kicks ass though, and I usually get mean birthday and xmas gifts. I just can't see myself getting 1000's of bones weekly for shit. That would be depressing after a while, because things end up having no value. One thing I'm happy about is that the stuff I did get for free I took very good care of *Almost to good, its sickening* So it all shows. I couldn't be a rich person because I'm the kind of person thats very selective. If I was rich I'd have tons of shit that would mean nothing because it would be so frequent.

Some kid had a brand new vette, and recently he crashed into it a wall while driving with these blondes. That thing is totalled, its beyond repair. Bam thousands gone.

Some women only hang with these rich bitch kids and it isnt fair. I'm a middle class citizen, so we have it kind of different, but I couldn't idenfity with a poor lifestyle and I'm not gonna talk shit cause any one of us could be there tomorrow.

I lot of people here have the right mindset about this kind of stuff, but here's my take on it.

It's not your problem. My brother used to sometimes tell me jokingly that those with money can do whatever the fuck they feel like. That's actually true and a lot of these people have worked hard to get there and are more than happy to spare their children the trouble. Sure, people that are born into this life have it easy and would probably have a hard time if left on their own, but that's their life and that shouldn't concern you.

Furthermore, almost eveybody that's worked hard knows that there is no fulfillment in living that kind of life and that it's always satisfying to know that you can provide for yourself and your young ones. I'm fairly young myself, but I'm trying to survive on my own and I'm always happy to be able to buy my own stuff. I go to college and I have a part time job that can gives me up to four 8-hour shifts a week at any given time. It's hard to keep up that pace with the added work of actually going to class and doing all the schoolwork these bastards give you, but I don't complain because everything in my room I've earned on my own and that gives me peace. I wish I earned enough to pay my tuition as well, but at least I'm taking the weight of having to worry about food or housing from my parents, I can't remember the last time I asked something from them.

The bottom line is, what people do with their money doens't concern you. We can complain all we want about rich people buying mansions worth millions of dollars while people elsewhere are starving to death, but do we have the right to tell them what to do with their money? Just live your life and don't worry about everybody else's.

You shouldn't worry about other people and concern yourself with what they have in comparison to what you own.

Jealousy is never healthy.

I worked 40 hours a week throughout high school (60 during summer vacation) and 55-60 hours a week during my first two years of college.

I go to a state school for $5,000 a year while everyone else around me goes to 40K a year private schools on the backs of their parents. I was accepted by those schools, but I wasn't going to take out a gigantic loan that I would end up paying back for the rest of my life or even going to consider asking my mother take out a loan on her house.

The one summer I didnt work was when I decided to take 18 credits (a full semester's load plus my final health requirement) up at school, which was insane but I got through it.

I've been actively looking for a job ever since I transfered up to Binghamton but it hasn't been easy since it's economically depressed town (It was the IBM company town, but then IBM left for some place over in Westchester) and all the campus jobs are reserved for the EOP kids.

I have some extra money, because I've managed to save 55-60% of everything I've ever made and was fortunate enough to find a really decent job and stick with it for four years once I was done with the mandatory "first crappy job" that everyone seems to have when they first start working.

I don't react bitterly when someone is handed everything by their parents because they're at a distinct disadvantage once the free ride ends and they have to enter the real world along with the rest of us.