Insofar as how Varys and Littlefinger became members of the Small Council, I sort of look that as opportunity favoring the bold.
In history, Thomas Cromwell was the son of a blacksmith, common birth, and he eventually rose to the position of Henry VIII's chief minister. He just made himself useful enough to be noticed by enough important people to be noticed by the king, eventually.
For both Varys and Littlefinger, I think it's more of the same. It's just a matter of getting enough influence amongst the nobles to be noteworthy through money, information and favors, until someone eventually put their names in the ear of the king, one thing led to another and they ended up on the Small Council.
As for Dany, I have never loved the character but I didn't dislike her either. I know she's popular, but Martin still says that the two most popular characters are Arya Stark and Jon Snow, insofar as the book's readers are concerned. The TV show fans probably like Tyrion, Arya and Dany the most.
When it comes to Dany, I find her journey pretty interesting because of all the things we have yet to see.
As for how women are treated in ASOIF, I think history bears out that most of them were treated like shit and had to deal with a lot of crap through the years. If they weren't so viper quick with their wit that they could disarm men and get equal footing with them, or if they didn't have men strong enough to defend them from others, a lot of their natural creativity and finer qualities were supressed. Women, especially noblewomen, throughout history were just expected to pump out babies and make alliances. History has shown that there are plenty of storng women throughout the ages that have held the same power and authority as men, but it was definitely seen as an anomaly and not the norm, if only because men historically kept them quiet.
Women had to be strong in other ways, ways that are more subtle, in order to achieve any kind of victory or satisfaction. They created their own rules of engagement, and found worth in their achievements in ways that weren't generally accepted by men, who traditionally controlled everything back then. There is a certain, subtle dignity in seeing a woman like Sansa just cling to her sense of self no matter what happens. She never stops believing that her family is good, she never willingly adopts the Lannister point of view. Robb is fighting his battles his way and winning, and Sansa is doing no less. Considering that the objective of her struggle is to cling to her northern self and not TRULY become the kept pet of the Lannies, given her situation, I'd say she's as brave and courageous as she can possibly be. That's as strong as anything the others are doing, circumstances being relative.
