Marriage, good or bad choice in your case?

NeoSneth · Nov 6, 2011

Never been married
Been with current gf for 8 yrs with no intention of marriage.

How many of you are clearly happy with your choice, or do you think it just made it more complicated?

I'm just one of those people that doesn't see the benefits. I used to think I was an outlier but many of my coworkers , young and old, are also just long term w/o marriage. My guess is genetics folks have a different outlook on relationships, or it could be we just travel too much.

evil wasabi · Nov 6, 2011

NeoSneth said:
Never been married
Been with current gf for 8 yrs with no intention of marriage.

How many of you are clearly happy with your choice, or do you think it just made it more complicated?

I'm just one of those people that doesn't see the benefits. I used to think I was an outlier but many of my coworkers , young and old, are also just long term w/o marriage. My guess is genetics folks have a different outlook on relationships, or it could be we just travel too much.

I know a geneticist who only just got married, and she is in her late thirties. Maybe it is just a geneticist thing. It's possible.

Anyone · Nov 6, 2011

asking a neo-geo fansite about marriage advice. cliche response, but seriously.

LoneSage · Nov 6, 2011

everything about you neobuyer is cliche.

NeoSneth · Nov 6, 2011

Not really asking for advice. I have no intention of getting married. Unless we accidentally have kids, we are both fine with it.

cdamm · Nov 6, 2011

got married in april. lived with my lady for 5 years. nothing much has changed except we can now file jointly for taxes. its fine. do it or dont. you know what you are living with.

Cylotron · Nov 7, 2011

Anyone said:
asking a neo-geo fansite about marriage advice. cliche response, but seriously.

i would agree with this gentleman... for once.

NeoSneth · Nov 7, 2011

Zardoz said:
i would agree with this gentleman... for once.

again, not looking for advice. Was looking more for a conversation about the concept of marriage.
And as most of us older members know, people here are more than just neo-geo folks. especially in unrelated.

SouthtownKid · Nov 7, 2011

I didn't get married until mid-30s. On the other hand, we'd been dating since our late-20s, so we were probably about to be common law married or something anyway. So far, so good. Liking it.

But I came close to getting married in my mid-20s, and I had a feeling even in the moment that it would have been a disaster. Not because of the girl; just lack of being ready. I still wanted to do too many unmarried things. As much as I'm enjoying it now, the pace of life does change when you settle in to marriage.

Cylotron · Nov 7, 2011

NeoSneth said:
again, not looking for advice. Was looking more for a conversation about the concept of marriage.
And as most of us older members know, people here are more than just neo-geo folks. especially in unrelated.

dude... fine.

well, if both people can honestly, truly say that they can be together... forever... then why not. that is, if you're the sort of person that believes in marriage.
of course there's other reasons to get married to, such as tax breaks... having someone pay you a bunch of $$$ to get citizenship in this country, possibly some rich person who wants their parents to think they're "married/happy" and also pays you $$$ to do it.

but again, the primary reason... as long as both are truly happy with each other then why not.

not to mention if you have a cool last name and your girlfriend doesn't you can point that out.

SouthtownKid · Nov 7, 2011

I have noticed that even when people do not have a cool last name, they are hesitant to give it up. Hell, I've known people abandoned by their father yet still dead set on hanging on to his name.

Anyone · Nov 7, 2011

My last name is Berrywater, which is why I am the most eligible bachelor in Lake Pighorn, WV.

Cylotron · Nov 7, 2011

Anyone said:
My last name is Berrywater, which is why I am the most eligible bachelor in Lake Pighorn, WV.

speaking of cool last names...

engelbert-humperdinck-traumen-mit-engelbert-cover-18654.jpeg

Anyone · Nov 7, 2011

Holy shit. That's as good as that baseball player named Dick Pole, but also classier.

Cylotron · Nov 7, 2011

oh and NeoSneth, when you get married you gotta play some Humperdinck. they say no one sings a love song like him. check out his stuff y0.

k'_127 · Nov 7, 2011

SouthtownKid said:
As much as I'm enjoying it now, the pace of life does change when you settle in to marriage.

Would love to hear you elaborate on that. And, if you have any kids, your thoughts on having children.

Professor Denim · Nov 7, 2011

i'm married for 6 years. wouldn't find another person who i could get along so well,anywhere in the world. we have 3 kids. some good times and a few not so good like with any relatioship in the world.were both happy and lucky.oh and young,i'm 33,she's 29. i must note that my wife gave me for present (wedding present!) a NEO home system and a pack of Games.
has for advice ,i would never advice in favor or agaisnt marriage.we did it because we tought that it would be fun and we believed our friends deserved a cool party.we were both right.

Poonman · Nov 7, 2011

Generally speaking:

-If the man makes a lot of money and she doesn't AND she is from Canada/US/UK/Australia/New Zealand/Western Europe/etc. then a marriage would be a bad idea.
-If she's had more than 15 sexual partners by the time she's 25...don't marry
-raised by single mother? Don't marry
-if she never brings up subject of marriage, don't marry

Anyway, those are the rules I personally play by.....
But for you, Sneth? None of what I said constitutes "advice" here, we're just talking.

Whether or not you get married depends on how you and your lady friend feel about the whole thing.

Taiso · Nov 7, 2011

Was with someone for 12 years before getting married. Never saw the point of it until things happened in my life to change that.

It turned out to be an absolute good in my case. Been marriied to for five years now and am very happy I did it. In my case, probably saved my life. But I can only say that now, looking back on it all. I was in a dark place, she took me by the hand and led me out.

I'm not saying that with any kind of romantic sensibility. There was a point where I just stopped moving, and she kept dragging me when no one else knew how to reach me. In the end, it made us both stronger, and that's what good relationships do.

But I don't think I'd have been 'happier' doing it sooner. It happened because of seizmic emotional shifts in my perspective, and I could only get married after those shifts changed me into a person that could accept marriage. Wanted it, even.

LoneSage · Nov 7, 2011

Am I the only guy who would take the girl's last name?

i don't think i got the idea from Gendo Ikari :emb:

turbosage · Nov 7, 2011

Really, if you feel that you are ready to get married, you should. You just have to REALLy be sure without a shadow of a doubt. I have been married twice. Once in my early 20's and I really wasn't ready, or with the right person. Now I am much older and wiser (I hope

) and have met the perfect person. This person that you just know gels so well with your personality, your interests, and your life! I can't begin to explain the difference between being in a marriage that works, and one that doesn't.

I can also see how someone would just be ok with going on with a long time relationship and not being married. To me, if your meant to be with a person forever, you will be. Marriage is just a piece of paper that makes it official in a court of law. If things don't work out, you two go your seperate ways. If you're legally married, then you have a pile of paperwork to sort out. Being 'legally married' doesn't mean you love a person anymore than someone who is just spiritually attached to another

I think there is a moment when you look at your partner and just know that you are meant to be together for the rest of your lives, whether you have a piece of paper to make it legal or not matters very little.

Renmauzo · Nov 7, 2011

I agree that, at the end of the day, 'marriage' in and of itself is more a label than anything else. My wife and I don't treat each other any differently than when we were living together, having all kinds of adventures and 'un-married'. It all comes down to the person you're with; when we started seeing each other, we just clicked, and since then, I've come to realize that what she adds to my life could never be duplicated by another nor would I be who I am today without the experiences that we've shared together. The commitment of marriage can be made without the ceremony, but we had fun with it and as such made it a milestone adventure to look back on fondly.

aria · Nov 7, 2011

Pace didn't change at all because we were together for 7 years before and already established our pace. I personally believe that marriage should not change anything other than legal benefits --there's no magical thing that occurs that wasn't otherwise there unless a person is particularly sentimental (it does seem like a nice thing to have if you know you're ready for it). I know some people say it affected them in big ways or caused their lives to change somehow, and I'm sure they believe that, it just didn't happen to me beyond the feeling of affirmation that "yes, I want to be with you." We didn't start acting different, we didn't start living our lives differently, etc. Nonsense.

But as I said, the legal benefits are welcome --especially in the various facets of adult life like buying a house, taxes, etc.

Kids, however, will change a lot. Don't need marriage to do that, of course.

norton9478 · Nov 7, 2011

Marriage is slavery.

cdamm · Nov 7, 2011

norton9478 said:
Marriage is slavery.

if so, my slave makes killer sandwiches

.

Marriage, good or bad choice in your case?

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