I was pissing in a urinal the other day when I thought of something...

Mike Shagohod · Jun 22, 2009

lithy said:
So metrosexual.

Shit and wipe with the left merc.

Metrosexual? :lolz:

More like a Preemptive Strike against a skin rash (possibly) or worse. Imagine if you will having a scratch or cut and then coming into contact with a toilet bowl, door handle etcetera where GOD only knows if some HIV/AIDs motherfucker left a smidgen of blood. Shit like that is like a splinter in my mind. Hell that flashlight I mentioned also has a black light and I use that function at the cinema when deciding where I'm going to sit. I'm sure you can imagine the bodily fluids that light up under it a good deal of the time. Which is why if I do go to the Cinema I wear pants, then immediately wash them once I get home.

If I'm out in the country I don't mind getting dirty. Or working on my BMX bikes or something mechanically inclined (basic vehicle maintenance) For everything else though my OCD kicks in and I take as many precautions to see that I don't get sick from some one else's bad decisions to not cover their mouth when they cough, lack of washing hands, secreting women's juices left behind on seats and more.

...what's Metrosexual about that? :spock:

HeartlessNinny · Jun 22, 2009

I guess in this case, your OCD causes you to do what a metro dude would to. Chalk it up to one of life's weird mysteries.

abasuto · Jun 22, 2009

I do however wipe the hell out of public toliet seats, this is because of crabs.

My immune system can't fight crabs, although I'm currently in talks with a South Korean company over making me nanomachines that'll hang out on my nuts for the purpose of killing them.

TheBigBB · Jun 23, 2009

I wash or rinse off my hands regularly, and I shower daily, but I don't care about anti-bacterial or even germ exposure in general. Think of it this way: when someone farts, there is gas from someone's ass going into your lungs. The world is a fucking filthy and nasty place when you overanalyze it. Just take it easy.

Nesagwa · Jun 23, 2009

HeartlessNinny said:
I'm actually with lithy and Abs on this one... Hygiene is one thing, but there's being overcautious too. A friend of a friend was so paranoid about germs making her baby sick she used to wash all her food with bleach. Yeah, that's a good idea. Admittedly that's a pretty extreme example, but that's what being an idiot about germs gets you.

I wash my hands when they're dirty at home, and in a public washroom I'll give 'em a quick wash and that's it. No paper towels on the faucet handles or any of that.

And I very seldom get sick too. So there you go.

Bleach wont hurt you if you ingest a little bit of it.

You can use the stuff to green up wilted lettuce and shit, its harmless unless you just chug the shit.

HeartlessNinny · Jun 23, 2009

Nesagwa said:
Bleach wont hurt you if you ingest a little bit of it.

You can use the stuff to green up wilted lettuce and shit, its harmless unless you just chug the shit.

Maybe, but I wouldn't give any to a kid, let alone a baby. I mean... Come on. Clearly this woman was more of a complete drooling idiot than a germaphobe.

Nesagwa · Jun 23, 2009

HeartlessNinny said:
Maybe, but I wouldn't give any to a kid, let alone a baby. I mean... Come on. Clearly this woman was more of a complete drooling idiot than a germaphobe.

Unless she was dipping steak into bleach or mixing it into baby food, I dont really see the problem here.

Lochlan · Jun 23, 2009

Mercenary X99 said:
That flashlight I mentioned also has a black light and I use that function at the cinema when deciding where I'm going to sit. I'm sure you can imagine the bodily fluids that light up under it a good deal of the time. Which is why if I do go to the Cinema I wear pants, then immediately wash them once I get home.

Given all the he-man viking warrior posts of yours I've read, it's pretty great to imagine you carrying a blacklight to the "cinema" and rushing to wash your pants the moment you get home.

Segata_Sanshiro · Jun 23, 2009

semen
feces
boogers

that's what's on those faucet handles you touch before and after washing you fools

I'll eat my own boogers, but no one else's, thanks

Mike Shagohod · Jun 23, 2009

Lochlan said:
Given all the he-man viking warrior posts of yours I've read, it's pretty great to imagine you carrying a blacklight to the "cinema" and rushing to wash your pants the moment you get home.

Hey, no argument there man. I find it ironically funny myself. But my neurotic self is only that way in certain environments etc, as I stated. I just don't trust modern society as a whole in doing the right (easy) thing to be Cochino Free. I have no problem skinning deer, putting my hands into other bloody messes, trugging through mud, going into stagnated bodies of water, hiking in 103 heat index weather with 25lbs on my back etc.

...but put me in a cinemaplex with the rest of humanity and I feel the need for latex gloves, anti bacterial hand sanitizer, blacklights and more. :lol:

norton9478 · Jun 23, 2009

The worst shit is antibacterial soap....

You need bacteria on your skin. 99.9% of it is beneficial. Kill all the good bacteria and see what happens.

Neo Mike · Jun 23, 2009

Mercenary X99 said:
I carry a backpack at all times with pharmaceutical medications, books, gloves, Nintendo DS, fleshlight, alan wrench, etc.)

Fixed.

Mike Shagohod · Jun 24, 2009

Neo Mike said:
Fixed. {Fleshlight}

...maybe I should buy one. I can't decide if I want
the Vagina or the Bunghole one though. Still, I'd
rather have a REAL DOLL. Can't put her in a backpack
though. I hear the Generation 2 dolls are out now too.
:annoyed:

Neo Alec · Jun 24, 2009

It's easier to hoover than to do all that prep work in a public restroom. You're touching the seat to do all that.

GregN · Jun 24, 2009

Thanks a lot guys.
This thread has simultaneously planted a seed of fear in my subconscious and made me laugh out loud at the same time.

Neo Mike · Jun 24, 2009

Neo Alec said:
It's easier to hoover than to do all that prep work in a public restroom. You're touching the seat to do all that.

Personally I "hover with a safety net" when necessary.

This is basically throwing 3 ass gaskets into the crapper and hovering above the seat.

The ass gaskets thrown in first prevent splashes, and the hovering is self explanatory.

ForeverSublime · Jun 24, 2009

HeartlessNinny said:
I'm actually with lithy and Abs on this one... Hygiene is one thing, but there's being overcautious too. A friend of a friend was so paranoid about germs making her baby sick she used to wash all her food with bleach. Yeah, that's a good idea. Admittedly that's a pretty extreme example, but that's what being an idiot about germs gets you.

I wash my hands when they're dirty at home, and in a public washroom I'll give 'em a quick wash and that's it. No paper towels on the faucet handles or any of that.

And I very seldom get sick too. So there you go.

Yesterday, my coworker picked up some dirty dishes after lunch then grabbed some Windex and sprayed her hands to "clean" them. I was shocked.

Lagduf · Jun 24, 2009

I've always said that pissing outside or taking a shit in the woods is cleaner than using a public restroom, and I stand by that.

On an related and interesting note:

I've taken more shits in the woods in the Canada than I have in indoor restrooms (or even outhouses for that matter) in Canada.

I'll leave you all to be the judges for what that has to say about the fine state of Canada.

ForeverSublime · Jun 24, 2009

Lagduf said:
I've always said that pissing outside or taking a shit in the woods is cleaner than using a public restroom, and I stand by that.

On an related and interesting note:

I've taken more shits in the woods in the Canada than I have in indoor restrooms (or even outhouses for that matter) in Canada.

I'll leave you all to be the judges for what that has to say about the fine state of Canada.

"Dark Lagdufs". You've taken plenty of "Dark Lagdufs" in Canada.

The forum should automatically replace the word "shit" with DA's name.

Lagduf · Jun 25, 2009

I prefer the word poop to shit.

I never say the word dump.

Dump andy.

Endlessnameless · Jun 25, 2009

Human skin is an excellent barrier against germs. And you can drive yourself insane trying to protect yourself from contamination. Car doors, door knobs, phones, keyboards, public water fountains, even ice machines harbor germs. The human body can fight off alot of that shit. If it couldn't, people would be dying left and right due to the inability of their immune systems. But when you live in that environment your body adapts. Health care workers are probably the healthiest people simply because of the constant exposure to all sorts of things. Now if you're a phlebotomist and you accidently stick yourself with an infected needle then obviously you're fucked. But just through passive exposure the body develops and adapts a healthy immune system that can fight off just about everything.

ForeverSublime · Jun 25, 2009

Lagduf said:
I prefer the word poop to shit.

I never say the word dump.

Dump andy.

Personally, I don't take shits. I leave them.

HeartlessNinny · Jun 25, 2009

ForeverSublime said:
Yesterday, my coworker picked up some dirty dishes after lunch then grabbed some Windex and sprayed her hands to "clean" them. I was shocked.

What an odd thing to do. Did this person get gunk from the dish on their hands? And if so, why use Windex to clean it off? If there was no gunk, why did they think they were filthy? It's just food. Gimme a break.

Maybe you should soak all the dishes in bleach, apparently that's harmless. :loco:

Lagduf · Jun 25, 2009

ForeverSublime said:
Personally, I don't take shits. I leave them.

You don't flush?

Neo Alec · Jun 25, 2009

I was in Japan four weeks ago but taking a shit is the only thing I did while I was there. Thank you for accepting my shit, Japan.

I was pissing in a urinal the other day when I thought of something...

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