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Thread: 'Twas The Neo Night Before Christmas...

  1. #26
    King of Typists

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    Such a happy ending. Thank you Bio, and merry Christmas.

  2. #27
    R.I.P.,
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    Daisuke Jigen's Avatar
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    This is a better annual holiday then spending it with distant relatives!

    Merry Christmas everyone!
    <a href="http://www.sunflower.com/~clintrulesyou/hosted/obit.htm" target="_blank">Gone too soon.....gonna miss you Keith.</a>

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    <a href="http://www.hardmvs.com" target="_blank">www.hardmvs.com</a>

  3. #28
    Mai's Apprentice
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    Arrow

    From me too! Merry X-mas from a lonely internet cafe in Nagano.
    US Neo Geo Homecart System: 211 021
    Super Neo29 Candy: 112689 (Born on March 4, 1996)
    Samurai Shodown II Full MVS Kit: 10044

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    Animal Crossing DS Friend Code: 3951-9906-3319

  4. #29
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    [quote]Originally posted by BioMotor_Unitron:
    <strong>'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
    Not a creature was stirring,not even a mouse.
    The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
    In hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there.

    The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
    While visions of Garou 2 danced in their heads.
    And mamma in her 'kerchief,and I in my cap,
    Had just settled down for a long winter's nap.

    When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
    I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
    Away to the window I flew like a flash,
    Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

    The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
    Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
    When, what should appear to leave my mouth all agape,
    But a queer named Chris Ray, and a hideous shaved ape!

    What a hideous beast, this, so swollen and gross,
    I wondered which gun of mine would harm it the most.
    Then the ape spoke, amidst all this fracas,
    "There are AES carts in this house, or my names not Dion Dakis!"

    They slinked more than walked, 'cross the snow covered grass,
    All the while with Chris sniffing at Dion's ass.
    "We'll get their home carts, we'll "Officialize" them, see?"
    "It'll be like a Christmas gift, from you and me!"

    "And NGF too, our Official company!
    SNK's never heard of us, but soon they will see!
    We're worthy to work for them, at minimal pay,
    Since those hookers only charge two dollars per lay!"

    They stood on my porch, like some redneck elves,
    I kept from laughing, in spite of myself.
    They broke open the door with no skill at all,
    Whilst I hid, and did not yet splatter their brains 'cross the wall.

    I watched while these crooks skulked towards my game room,
    Then took my gun from the closet, where it was next to the broom.
    It was a Benelli 12-Gauge, it packed quite a blow,
    Especially loaded, like now, with 12-Gauge Sabot.

    These losers reached the game room and turned on the light,
    Chris whined, "I've never seen so many games in my life!
    They're stacked to the ceiling, they cover the wall!
    And look at the home carts, he has almost all!"

    Dion looked and he snorted, and said with a laugh,
    "You don't get it, do you? Talk about a gaff!
    These home carts are worthless, they're not Officialized!
    We'll fix them up right, though, won't THEY be surprised!"

    "We'll take these ugly Jap inserts, we'll shred them like cheese,
    And replace them with ours, as nice as you please!
    All pixellated and ugly, such nice looking crap!
    Especially with our website printed on back!"

    I'd heard enough, and the final straw,
    Was when that ape Dion reached out a paw,
    He reached towards the shelf to grab a home cart,
    While I chambered a round, causing Chris Ray to fart.

    "Oh Gawd," Chris Ray cried while he grabbed his ass and danced,
    "I do believe you just made me go shit my pants!
    I'm rather incontinent, can't control when I go,
    I'm a bit stretched out there, seeing as I'm Dion's ho!"

    "I don't care if you shit yourself, you foul little rat!
    I won't allow you two to handle my home carts like that!
    I like my home carts just the way that they are!
    Real inserts are better than your fakes by far!"

    After saying this I raised my shotgun and said,
    "Unless you want to wind up in a hospital bed,
    I suggest you take your hand away from that cart,
    Unless you don't mind losing a body part."

    Dion drew his hand back, looking guilty and shamed,
    "We just want to help! How can we be blamed?
    We just want the world to be Official, you see.
    And you know, of course, that Neo Geo means me!"

    I gestured them up the stairs with my gun.
    "Now don't either of you two go and try to run.
    I'm calling the cops, they'll take you two away,
    To where you can be someone's bitch each night and day."

    They looked at each other and shouted with glee,
    "The slammer!?" they cried? "Oh, can it be?"
    "We've heard of this place called prison, you know,
    Where those weak like us can be someone's ho!"

    I wondered at these freaks, thinking prison fun,
    Whilst I picked up the phone and called Nine-One-One.
    The dispatcher sent some cops right away,
    While out on the lawn I made these crooks lay.

    "I should have shot you two freaks right downstairs,
    But I would hate to get blood on my chairs.
    I hope you've learned your lesson, I hope you've learned it well,
    If I see you again, I'll send you to Hell."

    The police showed up then, and hauled them away,
    They tried to leave Chris, but I would not let him stay.
    Standing on my lawn, stinking of shit,
    So they shoved him in the car and said, "Oh, Hell with it."

    "We'll need a statement from you, sir, if you'll drop by tomorrow."
    And drop by I did, much to NGF's sorrow.
    Since they were caught in the act of a crime,
    It was most certain they would both end up doing time.

    No more fake home carts, no more fake inserts,
    Thanks to the fact that both of those jerks,
    Liked prison life so much that they wanted to stay,
    And as far as I know, they are still there today.

    That Christmas day, it was truly a joy,
    For Saint Nick had home carts for each good girl and boy.
    They were all real, no fake ones were left,
    Not a single insert bore the smear "NGF."

    And as his sleigh flew on back towards the North Pole,
    Saint Nick had completed his delivery goal.
    We all heard his cry as he flew out of sight,
    "Neo Geo for all, and to all a good night!"

    -BioMotor_Unitron

    [This message has been edited by BioMotor_Unitron (edited December 25, 2000).]</strong><hr></blockquote>
    Brilliance, sheer brilliance.....
    <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[LOL]" />

  5. #30

  6. #31
    Old Man
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    Yup, wouldn't be christmas without the old sing a' long <img src="graemlins/glee.gif" border="0" alt="[Glee]" /> <img src="graemlins/glee.gif" border="0" alt="[Glee]" /> <img src="graemlins/glee.gif" border="0" alt="[Glee]" />
    Bonuskun - "Please young man. You telling me to shut up on an internet forum is about going to have the same effect of trying to tell Tarma that Metal Slug 4 was the best Neo Game ever.

    Not going to happen."


    Argentina'94 - "Gotta admit, that was the best coffee and cigarette I ever enjoyed with someone who wasn't in front of me. We MUST do this again!"


    Peanutbutterjammatime

  7. #32
    You can fantasize all day long, believing that you are in the throes of power, terrorizing the meek, but it's merely a thin veil of pure and simple lunacy in which you are so pitifully draped DEVIL_GUI's Avatar
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    yes, still amusing!

    that and BAH HUMBUG
    DAMN CHRISTMAS BOXING DAY WHEN ALL THE SHOPS ARE CLOSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    IVE GOT THINGS TO DO AND MONEY TO WASTE YOU KNOW!

    SNK
    I AM SNK


    WORSHIP ME!

  8. #33
    Haomaru's Blade Shiner

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    OK IF YOU GUYS ARE TAKING SHIT ABOUT DION I WAS RISE BY A GF WITH A ARCADE I HER HOME AND YOU GUYS GOT PIP BYTHE CHACK HEARD SLUT BITCH DOWN THE SFTTEET AHAHHAAHAHAH NOQ TAHT FUCKING LOL SO BBDA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
    man i love my neo geo so much

  9. #34
    Bashful Neophyte

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    I missed it before Christmas, but must say that is funny as hell.

  10. #35
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    A holiday classic!

  11. #36
    Bead Banger
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    [quote]Originally posted by leslie m collins:
    <strong>OK IF YOU GUYS ARE TAKING SHIT ABOUT DION I WAS RISE BY A GF WITH A ARCADE I HER HOME AND YOU GUYS GOT PIP BYTHE CHACK HEARD SLUT BITCH DOWN THE SFTTEET AHAHHAAHAHAH NOQ TAHT FUCKING LOL SO BBDA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA</strong><hr></blockquote>

    WTF!! <img src="graemlins/spock.gif" border="0" alt="[Spock]" />
    Is it just me or is this even more incoherent than normal for this putz?
    Remember 99.99999% of what I say is "pure" opinion.

  12. #37
    Armored Scrum Object
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    First time that I read this and I have to say that it is hilarious.

    Well done Biomotor!

  13. #38
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    I lurveee it!

    <img src="graemlins/tickled.gif" border="0" alt="[Tickled]" />

  14. #39
    Global Moderator
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    Annual Christmas ^BUMP!^
    -BioMotor_Unitron

    http://www.markromanek.com/video/ima.../14_header.jpg

    THE WORLD AS WE KNEW IT ENDED ON JANUARY 5, 2003 AT 7:53 A.M. EASTERN STANDARD TIME, WHEN DEATH, LONG CONSIDERED THE GREAT EQUALIZER OF MEN, BEGAN TO PLAY FAVOURITES.

    ON MARCH 31, 2007, AT 10:54 P.M. EASTERN STANDARD TIME, HE LET THEM KNOW WHO THEY WERE.

  15. #40
    . Magnaflux's Avatar
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    Tradition!

  16. #41
    Buriki One Master The_Chosen_One's Avatar
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    Hell this thread is tradition, even has one of my old account posts in it.

  17. #42
    Formerly known as
    Buro Destruct

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    Glad I got a chance to read this, great work BMU. You should write another Yuletide Neo poem.

  18. #43
    Holy shit, it's a ninja!
    tsukaesugi's Avatar
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    After saying this I raised my shotgun and said,
    "Unless you want to wind up in a hospital bed,
    I suggest you take your hand away from that cart,
    Unless you don't mind losing a body part."
    Best Stanza Ever.
    東北魂応援します!

  19. #44
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    Originally posted by NeoDragoN
    Ah!! its pure tradition!!

  20. #45
    Leona's Therapis
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    Ahh, memories. As hilarious as ever, bmu.

  21. #46
    One Nut
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    Originally posted by Magnaflux
    Tradition!

    NUFF SAID.

  22. #47
    J. Maximum Fan Club President
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    classic

    i am going to have to print that out.

    Neo Geo AES JP serial #1337
    Super Neo AES JP serial #1337

  23. #48
    MotoGP and Formula 1 Freak DangerousK's Avatar
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    Pure genius.

  24. #49
    Alfred Garcia's Butler
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    Funny stuff. I laughed my ass off. Great work Bio!

  25. #50
    Timid Neo Newbie

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    That was wonderful! too bad i wasn't around last year to enjoy it.

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