The effects of moving on my 10 year old daughter

LoneSage · Nov 29, 2018

norton9478 said:
Home prices are crazy expensive in several burgeoning metro areas because demand outstrips supply.

A lot of that has to do with economic growth, but also because the resident homeowners of those areas have used goverment to restrict the housing supply. That goes for so-called liberals and so-called conservatives.

Attempts to put together a housing solution that greatly increases supply (affordable, densely packed dwellings) are thwarted at every turn.

Property owners simply don't have the economic incentive to relieve supply issues. That is until they their own kids can't find housing and still live at home or move away. That's when they complain or, they give their kids a wad of down-payment money to go gentrify a neighborhood that they been avoiding for their entire life.

Dead on right here. Land is finite and Americans are averse to living in any apartments over three floors. I have heard a lot from what you just wrote from Californians where the residents housing committee or whatever basically vetos everything for development.

I've said it before and said it again, Americans are really crazy against development - 'vote against Prop whatever' and it usually follows through.

I fucking hate it when I sometimes think the Chinese get it right where they know the common people are stupid as fuck and just do whatever is good for the economy. So much demolition and construction going on the past year here in Beijing where personal rights are thrown away for the greater good.

wyo · Nov 29, 2018

FilthyRear said:
Oh, wyo...

The truth hurts, I know... :crying:

smokehouse · Nov 29, 2018

norton9478 said:
Attempts to put together a housing solution that greatly increases supply (affordable, densely packed dwellings) are thwarted at every turn. Doesn't matter if they are "conservatives" or "Liberals", they always oppose housing projects.

I'll openly admit that I do not know a ton about residential development...but I can speak for what you're calling "affordable, densely packed dwellings". In a vast majority of places, they do not work out well over time. It doesn't take long for things to slide into decay as many people in low income situations either do not have the cash to upkeep their property, or they simply do not care to...or, the company-owner of that property is too cheap to upkeep it properly

To add to that, no one wants that in their neighborhood. People who have paid for the single largest purchase they have in their life do not want that investment jeopardized by mass housing popping up in the neighborhood, and I'm not talking about the wealthy either. $100K house, $1M house...no one wants mass housing in their neighborhood because of what often becomes of them.

Like usual, I'm not going to say I have some sort of solution...but the data is there, mass housing more often than not falls into decay and brings down the value of everything around it.

RAZO · Nov 29, 2018

smokehouse said:
I'll openly admit that I do not know a ton about residential development...but I can speak for what you're calling "affordable, densely packed dwellings". In a vast majority of places, they do not work out well over time. It doesn't take long for things to slide into decay as many people in low income situations either do not have the cash to upkeep their property, or they simply do not care to...or, the company-owner of that property is too cheap to upkeep it properly

To add to that, no one wants that in their neighborhood. People who have paid for the single largest purchase they have in their life do not want that investment jeopardized by mass housing popping up in the neighborhood, and I'm not talking about the wealthy either. $100K house, $1M house...no one wants mass housing in their neighborhood because of what often becomes of them.

Like usual, I'm not going to say I have some sort of solution...but the data is there, mass housing more often than not falls into decay and brings down the value of everything around it.

In Jersey they are trying to get rid of Projects and replace them with these small little low income suburban type developments. They look cute and pretty for the first few years but after that you could see stuff start to change. I still think it's a better solution and it's easier to keep in check vs. a building that is built like a Prison. Once you go inside, you may never come back out lol.

SpamYouToDeath · Nov 29, 2018

norton9478 said:
Attempts to put together a housing solution that greatly increases supply (affordable, densely packed dwellings) are thwarted at every turn. Doesn't matter if they are "conservatives" or "Liberals", they always oppose housing projects.

We've got problems with this, and we're not even a big city. There's a few areas around the university that are really booming, and all the geriatric retirees keep throwing up roadblocks to new construction. Coincidentally, they seem to own lots of single-family rental properties full of students.

smokehouse · Nov 29, 2018

RAZO said:
In Jersey they are trying to get rid of Projects and replace them with these small little low income suburban type developments. They look cute and pretty for the first few years but after that you could see stuff start to change. I still think it's a better solution and it's easier to keep in check vs. a building that is built like a Prison. Once you go inside, you may never come back out lol.

Peoria Il did that a two decades ago. Tore down the projects, spent a TON of cash making an all new neighborhood with extremely nice houses:

Total disaster. High crime, huge cost to the city...houses now valued at below $60K...

RAZO · Nov 29, 2018

smokehouse said:
Peoria Il did that a two decades ago. Tore down the projects, spent a TON of cash making an all new neighborhood with extremely nice houses:

Total disaster. High crime, huge cost to the city...houses now valued at below $60K...

Yup, that's exactly what they look like. It's all just a Facade. Kind of sad seeing these brand new developments turn to shit so quickly.

norton9478 · Nov 29, 2018

Peoria also doesn't have a housing shortage. People are fleeing the area.

In many municipalities around here, you can't even build a residential house unless it has 2000 sq foot floor plan.

smokehouse said:
I'll openly admit that I do not know a ton about residential development...but I can speak for what you're calling "affordable, densely packed dwellings". In a vast majority of places, they do not work out well over time. It doesn't take long for things to slide into decay as many people in low income situations either do not have the cash to upkeep their property, or they simply do not care to...or, the company-owner of that property is too cheap to upkeep it properly

To add to that, no one wants that in their neighborhood. People who have paid for the single largest purchase they have in their life do not want that investment jeopardized by mass housing popping up in the neighborhood, and I'm not talking about the wealthy either. $100K house, $1M house...no one wants mass housing in their neighborhood because of what often becomes of them.

Like usual, I'm not going to say I have some sort of solution...but the data is there, mass housing more often than not falls into decay and brings down the value of everything around it.

I'm not even talking about PJ's. I'm talking about apartment buildings that meet the needs of incoming workers. There are places in Northern California where police officers and teachers can't even afford an apartment within a 45 mile drive.

neo_mao · Nov 29, 2018

It’s the same in MA.

It’s brutal. Being middle class sucks balls.

evil wasabi · Nov 29, 2018

norton9478 said:
Peoria also doesn't have a housing shortage. People are fleeing the area.

In many municipalities around here, you can't even build a residential house unless it has 2000 sq foot floor plan.

I'm not even talking about PJ's. I'm talking about apartment buildings that meet the needs of incoming workers. There are places in Northern California where police officers and teachers can't even afford an apartment within a 45 mile drive.

It’s a good thing if people are building homes with at least 2000 sq ft. First off, more property tax means better communities, better public school funding. And bigger homes are better for the appreciation of nearby homes. No one wants to see a new buyer next door building a 1600 sq ft rambler. Small homes need to be a thing of the past.

norton9478 · Nov 30, 2018

I don't believe that bigger houses= more aggregate school funding. At least around here, the budget is mostly predetermined based on need and the the levy is set based on the budget.

If there is a spike in aggregate property value, the rates tend to be adjusted downward.

Evil Wasabi said:
And bigger homes are better for the appreciation of nearby homes. No one wants to see a new buyer next door building a 1600 sq ft rambler.

That is kind of the point I've been making. Home owners have few incentives to back affordable housing near them.

But anyways, smaller families need smaller homes. Although that extra square footage comes in handy when your kids are in their 20's and have to live with you because they can't afford a decent place of their own (in part because of restrictions on supply).

smokehouse · Nov 30, 2018

Well...closed on our house yesterday, closed on the new one this morning...for now, done and done. Now the fun part of all of this starts (I'm serious when I say that).

RAZO · Nov 30, 2018

smokehouse said:
Well...closed on our house yesterday, closed on the new one this morning...for now, done and done. Now the fun part of all of this starts (I'm serious when I say that).

I could imagine. Congrats on the new home.

Lastblade · Nov 30, 2018

Congrats!

skate323k137 · Dec 1, 2018

smokehouse said:
Well...closed on our house yesterday, closed on the new one this morning...for now, done and done. Now the fun part of all of this starts (I'm serious when I say that).

Good luck! I'm still having a hell of a time adjusting to my new house as an adult.

smokehouse · Dec 3, 2018

For anyone that may still be reading this one...I'm pleased to say my kiddo is doing much better. We got her stuff in, she was able to sleep in her own bed, this weekend was much improved.

LoneSage · Dec 3, 2018

smokehouse said:
For anyone that may still be reading this one...I'm pleased to say my kiddo is doing much better. We got her stuff in, she was able to sleep in her own bed, this weekend was much improved.

real question here

Did you think it would go any other way?

it's just how kids are. they'll throw a hissyfit but, just like the rest of us, will learn how to adjust.

smokehouse · Dec 3, 2018

LoneSage said:
real question here

Did you think it would go any other way?

it's just how kids are. they'll throw a hissyfit but, just like the rest of us, will learn how to adjust.

Honestly? I didn't know. She's an individual person and this is her first time going through this. Some kids don't do well during a move...hell, some adults don't. I'm happy that she's already settling though, all of us got some needed rest Sat night, that's for sure.

Neodogg · Dec 3, 2018

are you really doing this to get away from the Jehovah's?

oliverclaude · Dec 3, 2018

LoneSage said:
it's just how kids are. they'll throw a hissyfit but, just like the rest of us, will learn how to adjust.

Did you adjust?

evil wasabi · Dec 3, 2018

smokehouse said:
Honestly? I didn't know. She's an individual person and this is her first time going through this. Some kids don't do well during a move...hell, some adults don't. I'm happy that she's already settling though, all of us got some needed rest Sat night, that's for sure.

The real issue isn’t if the kid likes a move, but if they are thriving in one place, will they necessarily thrive in another. For example, when children show signs of problems in concentration or attitude, psychologists may recommend, instead of drugs, to move the child to a different place. Change their room, or different school. This method often generates better results than drugs, yet it probably stands to reason that the opposite could have a negative effect. Something to keep in mind in case trouble starts.

smokehouse · Dec 3, 2018

Neodogg said:
are you really doing this to get away from the Jehovah's?

No, not at all. My wife has family in the new town and they are JWs...she knows JWs all over this part of the state. We do not have any issue with them, they all know we're not interested and the pressure to join ceased many years ago.

Evil Wasabi said:
The real issue isn’t if the kid likes a move, but if they are thriving in one place, will they necessarily thrive in another. For example, when children show signs of problems in concentration or attitude, psychologists may recommend, instead of drugs, to move the child to a different place. Change their room, or different school. This method often generates better results than drugs, yet it probably stands to reason that the opposite could have a negative effect. Something to keep in mind in case trouble starts.

The nice thing is that her school agreed to let her to remain there for the remainder of the year, so we're living in one town, attending the school in another. She'll start in the new school next year.

I think I mentioned it before, but our situation was unique where we lived. The children in her grade is currently well under 20 kids, after 8th grade that changes dramatically as they dump in a MUCH larger school where the class size is closer to 400. In other words, she was in for a shock no matter what.

We'll definitely keep an eye on things to see who she is doing. I expect things will get harder when she starts a different school next year.

F4U57 · Dec 3, 2018

LoneSage said:
it's just how kids are. they'll throw a hissyfit but, just like the rest of us, will learn how to adjust.

That’s ignorant. You can’t pigeonhole any form of negative emotional change as a “hissy fit”. It’s the initial caring and empathy that Smoke has for his family that is likely the benefactor here opposed to just riding out their irrational emotions. I get you work with kids but that comment is so out of touch. Maybe that’s how China responds to their children?

NeoCverA · Dec 3, 2018

You shouldn’t use the excuse of being busy and moving for not trying to make things special for your daughter. You need to decorate more than just her little tree for her room and make the new place have some magic that she’ll remember. It’s daddy power time.

Cylotron · Dec 12, 2018

My sister has moved probably about a dozen times since she's had her kids. They're used to it now... but I just know they're wondering when the next move will be.

As for housing prices.. Everything around here is close to $1 million. Unless you want to live on/near the beach, then it's much more. Even renting apartments. Studios start around $1,200/month.

The effects of moving on my 10 year old daughter

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