- Joined
- Feb 10, 2003
- Posts
- 7,174
Yesterday morning, I had a dream that I had won a R-Type video game, for the SNES, on eBay and was expecting it in the mail. Now, as far as I know, the only R-Type titles available for SNES are Super R-Type and R-Type III: The Third Lightning, both of which I already own, so, I have no idea why I'd be buying a duplicate of either. If the seller had some kind of rare, one-of-a-kind, prototype of SNES R-Type I or R-Type II, then, sure, I'd be interested, but, as the game in question only cost me a small sum of money, in all likelihood it was Super R-Type.
Anyway, I check the mailbox, and, behold, inside is a large manilla envelope with a SNES cartridge-sized bulge in it, and I think to myself, "Cool, my game is here!" I open the envelope. There is no game. Instead, there is a stack of photographs and a bunch of blue strips of paper. In the accompanying note, the woman I bought the game from sadly informs me that the R-Type cartridge I had won was either lost or broken, so, she cannot complete our transaction. She then goes on with a sob story about how she's a single mother, with fifteen children, some of them with mental disabilities. The stack of photos are of her, and her brood, and there's also a map to her house (we both live in Michigan, she's downstate, I'm upstate). The blue strips of paper are her "compensation" to me, a bunch of online coupons, that she printed out, for various services/products that I have zero interest in, stuff like "15% off getting your car seats reupholstered". She did not refund my money.
In real life, over the years, I've run across multiple sellers that have claimed to lose or accidentally break the games that I've won from them on eBay. Typically, these are games that went for small sums (five dollars or less), so, while it's possible that something honestly did happen to the cartridge/disc, I think most of these individuals are just unhappy with the final bid amount and are trying to weasel out of the deal because they didn't get as much money as they hoped that they would. While that's annoying, I'm a reasonable chap, so, provided they give me a refund, I usually give them neutral feedback in return. But that's not the case here, I don't have R-Type, nor do I have my money, so, I'm understandably pissed.
Then there's a knock at my front door. Surprise! It's the woman, and one of her kids, a 2-year-old girl. She drove over two hundred miles to my house, a trip that, needless to say, would have cost her far more in gas than returning my money would have. Does she apologize or offer me a refund? Hell no. Instead, she barges in and tells me that her toddler daughter has "wonderful rhythm" which she insists I MUST see. She's also got a boombox with her, and, as soon as the music begins to play, the child starts hopping around and dancing like a maniac. "Check out my rhythm!" the kid screeches over-and-over again, while her mother keeps poking me and asking, "Doesn't she have wonderful rhythm?" While she never explicitly states it, in the dream, I get the distinct impression that this woman truly believes that I'm going to be so impressed with her daughter's dancing "talent" that I'm going to forgive-and-forget about the whole R-Type thing and not leave her negative feedback on eBay.
Since I know that one of you is going to ask: No, the mother wasn't hot. Just average in appearance, middle-aged, and overweight. Basically, she looked exactly like what you'd think a woman who's given birth to that many children would look like. It doesn't matter anyway--fifteen kids is a deal breaker no matter how you slice it.
So, there I am, standing in my living room, bewildered, with a hyperactive rugrat bouncing around my feet while her mother looks on praising the kid's performance, and I still don't have R-Type or my money. I'm thinking to myself, "Fuck this; she's getting negative feedback!", and, more importantly, "How am I going to get these nutjobs out of my house without causing a scene?" And then I woke up.
Anyway, I check the mailbox, and, behold, inside is a large manilla envelope with a SNES cartridge-sized bulge in it, and I think to myself, "Cool, my game is here!" I open the envelope. There is no game. Instead, there is a stack of photographs and a bunch of blue strips of paper. In the accompanying note, the woman I bought the game from sadly informs me that the R-Type cartridge I had won was either lost or broken, so, she cannot complete our transaction. She then goes on with a sob story about how she's a single mother, with fifteen children, some of them with mental disabilities. The stack of photos are of her, and her brood, and there's also a map to her house (we both live in Michigan, she's downstate, I'm upstate). The blue strips of paper are her "compensation" to me, a bunch of online coupons, that she printed out, for various services/products that I have zero interest in, stuff like "15% off getting your car seats reupholstered". She did not refund my money.
In real life, over the years, I've run across multiple sellers that have claimed to lose or accidentally break the games that I've won from them on eBay. Typically, these are games that went for small sums (five dollars or less), so, while it's possible that something honestly did happen to the cartridge/disc, I think most of these individuals are just unhappy with the final bid amount and are trying to weasel out of the deal because they didn't get as much money as they hoped that they would. While that's annoying, I'm a reasonable chap, so, provided they give me a refund, I usually give them neutral feedback in return. But that's not the case here, I don't have R-Type, nor do I have my money, so, I'm understandably pissed.
Then there's a knock at my front door. Surprise! It's the woman, and one of her kids, a 2-year-old girl. She drove over two hundred miles to my house, a trip that, needless to say, would have cost her far more in gas than returning my money would have. Does she apologize or offer me a refund? Hell no. Instead, she barges in and tells me that her toddler daughter has "wonderful rhythm" which she insists I MUST see. She's also got a boombox with her, and, as soon as the music begins to play, the child starts hopping around and dancing like a maniac. "Check out my rhythm!" the kid screeches over-and-over again, while her mother keeps poking me and asking, "Doesn't she have wonderful rhythm?" While she never explicitly states it, in the dream, I get the distinct impression that this woman truly believes that I'm going to be so impressed with her daughter's dancing "talent" that I'm going to forgive-and-forget about the whole R-Type thing and not leave her negative feedback on eBay.
Since I know that one of you is going to ask: No, the mother wasn't hot. Just average in appearance, middle-aged, and overweight. Basically, she looked exactly like what you'd think a woman who's given birth to that many children would look like. It doesn't matter anyway--fifteen kids is a deal breaker no matter how you slice it.
So, there I am, standing in my living room, bewildered, with a hyperactive rugrat bouncing around my feet while her mother looks on praising the kid's performance, and I still don't have R-Type or my money. I'm thinking to myself, "Fuck this; she's getting negative feedback!", and, more importantly, "How am I going to get these nutjobs out of my house without causing a scene?" And then I woke up.
