Boston tips and tricks

LoneSage

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I'm taking my mom to Boston for like five days. Looking to do all the gay tourist shit or whatever. I think there's a number of Massholes here so I'm all ears for whatever we can do there.

I also think five days in Boston is way too much so any nearby cities worth checking out lmk. Thanks fags.
 

Syn

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You know what EG looks like. No other advice from me.

In all seriousness, you should try to spend one night with the Mass crew.

My sister used to take my mom on vacation and book too many activities. Some nights my mom enjoyed local television or cable movies.
 
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mjmjr25

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I feel like ^that's sound advice. Your mother would def. like to hang with the Mass Crew. Take her to ASID's and he can coach her along.

"Are you even trying?"
 

fake

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Museum of Fine Arts
Institute of Contemporary Art
Museum of Science
Isabella Stewart Gardener Museum
Boston Common
Boston Gardens
Newbury Street
Several graveyards with founding fathers buried in them
Obligatory Duck Tours ride
John Hancock tower
Harvard Book Store
Faneuil Hall
Food on Hanover Street
New England Aquarium

You could also visit Salem. There aren't any other interesting towns nearby.
 

LoneSage

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excellent post fakeX, I'll check those places out and see which ones mom'll like.

Just a quick look it seems whale watching is a thing and there's the whole Boston Red Sox thing at Fenway Park even though no one gaf about baseball.

If Salem's close by we can check that out for all the witch shit.

Keep em coming fellas
 

neo_mao

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If you are looking for a nice day trip outside of the city perhaps...
- Block Island
- Martha's Vineyard
- Newport Rhode Island (Mansions)

Also, I am not sure about ticket availability /prices but your mom might like going to the Boston Symphony Orchestra / Boston Pops. I think in the summer they play in the scenic Berkshires at Tanglewood...but that is probably a couple hour drive from Boston...
 

neo_mao

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Oh and if you decide to do the aquarium, you can use my membership card to get in for free....so long as you can pass as a brown, 5'5" 175 lb, bald 36 year old...
 

Alpha Skyhawk

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Stay the fuck out of Quincy.

What's wrong with Quincy? My family used to go to Quincy Market way back in the early 90s. Then again, maybe Quincy Market's not in Quincy? I was a little, little, little kid back then.

Anyway, I'd say AVOID BOSTON. It's a big city with big city things going on and big city people walking around. Certainly avoid driving around, but the streets are the stuff of nightmares, so forget navigating it like Manhattan. And there are subway trains in the sky... so... yeah.

And the traffic is some of the most awful bullshit I've ever seen.
 

BanishingFlatsAC

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Fake and Moe have you some great suggestions. If you're a history buff, there are a ton of places outside of Boston to visit. Quincy has the Adams houses, and Mansion. There is also Bunker Hill Monument in Charlestown and Castle Island in South Boston. There is also the freedom trail too. I'd recommend eating a lobster roll, something from Mike's Pastry, and then washing it down with a Moxie.

What's wrong with Quincy? My family used to go to Quincy Market way back in the early 90s. Then again, maybe Quincy Market's not in Quincy? I was a little, little, little kid back then.

Anyway, I'd say AVOID BOSTON. It's a big city with big city things going on and big city people walking around. Certainly avoid driving around, but the streets are the stuff of nightmares, so forget navigating it like Manhattan. And there are subway trains in the sky... so... yeah.

And the traffic is some of the most awful bullshit I've ever seen.

Quincy Market is a spot in Boston. Quincy is a city just south of Boston. The transit system is so easy to understand compared to NY. Don't bother driving though, it's a mess of one way roads and construction detours.
 
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Alpha Skyhawk

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If you're a history buff, there are a ton of places outside of Boston to visit. Quincy has the Adams houses, and Mansion. There is also Bunker Hill Monument in Charlestown and Castle Island in South Boston. There is also the freedom trail too.

Where would you even park?

Seriously, do you know what I did when I went to Boston a few years ago? I was like "WTF is this? Did I go to Bizarro Manhattan? I need to GTFO." Then I drove all the way back home to Jersey and went to sleep.
 

BanishingFlatsAC

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Where would you even park?

Seriously, do you know what I did when I went to Boston a few years ago? I was like "WTF is this? Did I go to Bizarro Manhattan? I need to GTFO." Then I drove all the way back home to Jersey and went to sleep.

Plenty of garages...just be prepared to pay through the nose. My advice to Sage would be find a hotel just outside of Boston and take the train in town.
 

Lastblade

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Museum of Fine Arts
Institute of Contemporary Art
Museum of Science
Isabella Stewart Gardener Museum
Boston Common
Boston Gardens
Newbury Street
Several graveyards with founding fathers buried in them
Obligatory Duck Tours ride
John Hancock tower
Harvard Book Store
Faneuil Hall
Food on Hanover Street
New England Aquarium

You could also visit Salem. There aren't any other interesting towns nearby.

Very nice list. Check out the Back Bay area (Back Bay Station) where youc an find a few of things listed above (John Hancock, Newbury Street, Boston Common, etc).
 

fake

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Where would you even park?

Seriously, do you know what I did when I went to Boston a few years ago? I was like "WTF is this? Did I go to Bizarro Manhattan? I need to GTFO." Then I drove all the way back home to Jersey and went to sleep.

Well, a lot of the city was planned for horses, not cars, so the roads make no sense and most of the non-landfill area is a mess. I don't mind driving in the city if I already know where I'm going, but trying to find a new place can be a disaster.

For pastry, which is a must, definitely go to Modern instead of Mike's. Owner has been my neighbor for years and is the biggest asshole I've ever met. Plus Modern is just better. Umberto's pizza right near Modern is literally the best pizza I ever had. I think they open at noon and close once they're out of pizza which is usually around 2:30. Regina's a few blocks over is a close second. Just make sure you go to the original North End location because that's the one with the OG oven.

You can get to Salem from the commuter rail. It should only be a 25 minute ride and then a 10 minute walk to downtown Salem.

The city is mostly safe. I've been caught in one police shootout and seen a few mugging and got my iPod stolen once (caught up to the kid and got it back though). But that's after spending Monday through Friday in the city for 11 years. The only warning worth mentioning is to not wander past the MFA if you go there. That turns into Roxbury which is where a lot of crime takes place.
 

bloodycelt

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You can go through Roxbury during the day, its just a little rough on the eyes. There's an excellent Scottish restaurant (The Hayne) over by Jackson Square.

Further down the Orange Line is Forest Hills, which is where the Arboretum is, a very nice outdoor tree museum.

The Oyster House in Downtown is good, but its very crowded, so is the Green Dragon usually. Another place would be Jacob Wirth on Washington Street over by the Boylston Stop. (Its german food).

Coolidge Corner on the green Line has, Lemongrass (Thai), pubs, and a nice little cinema. There's a weird toy shop over there that I managed to find some rather old board games, like the copy of Diplomacy with pewter pieces. Brookline Booksmith is an interesting indie book store with a slight Jewish bent.

I should warn you, Chinatown will disappoint you, but it still has some Chinese restaurants left.

There's a path along the Charles river which is also a nice walk, as is the holocaust memorial trail (though solemn).

Boston Public Library is free to go in, and beyond books they have a few displays up and a rather nice fountain with benches.

Quincy is fine too.... during the day, but there's fuck if anything to do there besides Wollaston beach.

If you go to the MFA, their best and most unique stuff IMHO is the Asian specifically the Japanese exhibit, which includes a Buddhist Temple. They also have some interesting Sargent pieces, particularly one which they also placed the vases from the painting next to it.
But get a map and prioritize, if you have allergies the museum may trigger them. I'd avoid the modern art section.

Another commuter rail trip would be Plymouth. You don't want to drive anywhere near it and the cape in the summer.

A third is Concord, MA... reachable via North Station. The cemetery has Emerson's grave... boulder, as well as the more normal graves of Henry David Thoreau and Louissa May Alcott. The town center has some interesting restaurants. There's also a sort of trail that leads to a rather interesting reservation behind Concord, a swamp and lake area with a decent amount of Herons nesting there.

A bit of a hike, but you can take a bus to Watertown Square which has an Armenian Library Museum of America, and Wild Willies (very good burgers and homemade root beer).

Speaking of gay, I believe they have a ferry from Boston to Provincetown, its a gay/transgender sort of hangout.

Hope that helps.

Edit: Almost forgot - Rhode Island does have some points of interest, if you're a lovecraft fan the guy is buried in Swan Point which is sort of reachable from the Providence Train Station (though a bit of a walk)
 
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BanishingFlatsAC

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You can go through Roxbury during the day, its just a little rough on the eyes. There's an excellent Scottish restaurant (The Hayne) over by Jackson Square.

Further down the Orange Line is Forest Hills, which is where the Arboretum is, a very nice outdoor tree museum.

The Oyster House in Downtown is good, but its very crowded, so is the Green Dragon usually. Another place would be Jacob Wirth on Washington Street over by the Boylston Stop. (Its german food).

Coolidge Corner on the green Line has, Lemongrass (Thai), pubs, and a nice little cinema. There's a weird toy shop over there that I managed to find some rather old board games, like the copy of Diplomacy with pewter pieces. Brookline Booksmith is an interesting indie book store with a slight Jewish bent.

I should warn you, Chinatown will disappoint you, but it still has some Chinese restaurants left.

There's a path along the Charles river which is also a nice walk, as is the holocaust memorial trail (though solemn).

Boston Public Library is free to go in, and beyond books they have a few displays up and a rather nice fountain with benches.

Quincy is fine too.... during the day, but there's fuck if anything to do there besides Wollaston beach.

If you go to the MFA, their best and most unique stuff IMHO is the Asian specifically the Japanese exhibit, which includes a Buddhist Temple. They also have some interesting Sargent pieces, particularly one which they also placed the vases from the painting next to it.
But get a map and prioritize, if you have allergies the museum may trigger them. I'd avoid the modern art section.

Another commuter rail trip would be Plymouth. You don't want to drive anywhere near it and the cape in the summer.

A third is Concord, MA... reachable via North Station. The cemetery has Emerson's grave... boulder, as well as the more normal graves of Henry David Thoreau and Louissa May Alcott. The town center has some interesting restaurants. There's also a sort of trail that leads to a rather interesting reservation behind Concord, a swamp and lake area with a decent amount of Herons nesting there.

A bit of a hike, but you can take a bus to Watertown Square which has an Armenian Library Museum of America, and Wild Willies (very good burgers and homemade root beer).

Speaking of gay, I believe they have a ferry from Boston to Provincetown, its a gay/transgender sort of hangout.

Hope that helps.

Edit: Almost forgot - Rhode Island does have some points of interest, if you're a lovecraft fan the guy is buried in Swan Point which is sort of reachable from the Providence Train Station (though a bit of a walk)

That's literally the worst advice ever. LOL. Sage ask for tourist destinations and you send him to some dumpy Thai restaurant and a fucking board game store. By the way, make sure you drive through the fucking ghetto on your way to Boston. Jesus fucking Christ dude. Might as well give him a list of places to score rock in Mattapan.

@Fake:. I'm a Mike's guy. I was brought there as a kid and I still go there now. Modern is tasty, but I gotta stick to the classic.
 
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FilthyRear

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What's wrong with Quincy? My family used to go to Quincy Market way back in the early 90s. Then again, maybe Quincy Market's not in Quincy? I was a little, little, little kid back then.

You're way off. The entire South Shore is nothing but white trash, the homeless, and heroin addicts.
 

FilthyRear

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You can go through Roxbury during the day, its just a little rough on the eyes. There's an excellent Scottish restaurant (The Hayne) over by Jackson Square.

Further down the Orange Line is Forest Hills, which is where the Arboretum is, a very nice outdoor tree museum.

The Oyster House in Downtown is good, but its very crowded, so is the Green Dragon usually. Another place would be Jacob Wirth on Washington Street over by the Boylston Stop. (Its german food).

Coolidge Corner on the green Line has, Lemongrass (Thai), pubs, and a nice little cinema. There's a weird toy shop over there that I managed to find some rather old board games, like the copy of Diplomacy with pewter pieces. Brookline Booksmith is an interesting indie book store with a slight Jewish bent.

I should warn you, Chinatown will disappoint you, but it still has some Chinese restaurants left.

There's a path along the Charles river which is also a nice walk, as is the holocaust memorial trail (though solemn).

Boston Public Library is free to go in, and beyond books they have a few displays up and a rather nice fountain with benches.

Quincy is fine too.... during the day, but there's fuck if anything to do there besides Wollaston beach.

If you go to the MFA, their best and most unique stuff IMHO is the Asian specifically the Japanese exhibit, which includes a Buddhist Temple. They also have some interesting Sargent pieces, particularly one which they also placed the vases from the painting next to it.
But get a map and prioritize, if you have allergies the museum may trigger them. I'd avoid the modern art section.

Another commuter rail trip would be Plymouth. You don't want to drive anywhere near it and the cape in the summer.

A third is Concord, MA... reachable via North Station. The cemetery has Emerson's grave... boulder, as well as the more normal graves of Henry David Thoreau and Louissa May Alcott. The town center has some interesting restaurants. There's also a sort of trail that leads to a rather interesting reservation behind Concord, a swamp and lake area with a decent amount of Herons nesting there.

A bit of a hike, but you can take a bus to Watertown Square which has an Armenian Library Museum of America, and Wild Willies (very good burgers and homemade root beer).

Speaking of gay, I believe they have a ferry from Boston to Provincetown, its a gay/transgender sort of hangout.

Hope that helps.

Edit: Almost forgot - Rhode Island does have some points of interest, if you're a lovecraft fan the guy is buried in Swan Point which is sort of reachable from the Providence Train Station (though a bit of a walk)

You're the worst, most retarded tour guide ever.

"When you come to Boston, make sure you go to Rhode Island!"

WTF.
 

bloodycelt

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That's literally the worst advice ever. LOL. Sage ask for tourist destinations and you send him to some dumpy Thai restaurant and a fucking board game store. By the way, make sure you drive through the fucking ghetto on your way to Boston. Jesus fucking Christ dude. Might as well give him a list of places to score rock in Mattapan.

@Fake:. I'm a Mike's guy. I was brought there as a kid and I still go there now. Modern is tasty, but I gotta stick to the classic.

You've never been to Coolidge Corner have you? Its in Brookline, you know the upscale used-to-be Jewish Neighborhood thats now the rich Asian neighborhood? Lemongrass is not dumpy, its like $20-$30 a plate there. Zaftigs is also there.

Board game store? It HAS old board games, but a bunch of other random shit, not really a store that caters to the too-much-BO crowd as you're thinking (That would be Pandemonium at Central Square which anyone is advised to avoid... the owner is a fuckwit). I mentioned it because its just so random, and I notice old people often visit the place.

All the restaurants I suggested are good mid-tier places, nothing suit and tie but cater to tourists, and middle class locals.

Nor did I say he should go to Rhode Island, I just mentioned one place of interest since others suggested he visit the shit-state.

Personally I think Concord and Plymouth are more interesting than Salem, unless its halloween.
 

BanishingFlatsAC

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You've never been to Coolidge Corner have you? Its in Brookline, you know the upscale used-to-be Jewish Neighborhood thats now the rich Asian neighborhood? Lemongrass is not dumpy, its like $20-$30 a plate there. Zaftigs is also there.

Board game store? It HAS old board games, but a bunch of other random shit, not really a store that caters to the too-much-BO crowd as you're thinking (That would be Pandemonium at Central Square which anyone is advised to avoid... the owner is a fuckwit). I mentioned it because its just so random, and I notice old people often visit the place.

All the restaurants I suggested are good mid-tier places, nothing suit and tie but cater to tourists, and middle class locals.

Nor did I say he should go to Rhode Island, I just mentioned one place of interest since others suggested he visit the shit-state.

Personally I think Concord and Plymouth are more interesting than Salem, unless its halloween.

Nope...never been to Coolidge corner. LOL. Zaftigs is fucking gross, overpriced shit. If you think Lemongrass is upscale dining, you need to get out more. Regardless, Coolidge corner isn't a tourist destination. It's a hipster spot with the only redeeming quality being the JP licks and Anna's.

Also, GG recommending a tourist some how makes it out to Plymouth during the height of the Summer. How awesome is it to walk around a pilgrim plantation in 100 degree weather. Your recommendations are awful...please stop.
 

bloodycelt

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Nope...never been to Coolidge corner. LOL. Zaftigs is fucking gross, overpriced shit. If you think Lemongrass is upscale dining, you need to get out more. Regardless, Coolidge corner isn't a tourist destination. It's a hipster spot with the only redeeming quality being the JP licks and Anna's.

Also, GG recommending a tourist some how makes it out to Plymouth during the height of the Summer. How awesome is it to walk around a pilgrim plantation in 100 degree weather. Your recommendations are awful...please stop.

Not the fucking plantation, the actual town center by the water. That area usually has a nice breeze coming in, antique shops, old book stores, and seafood dining. My family has gone there every August since I was a kid.

If you haven't been to CC how the fuck do you know? Its more of a yuppie spot then a hipster spot, but thats fine, its an easy to get to area after he's exhausted Copley and Downtown. I have enough respect for any forum member here (well most forum members), that they will google/wikipedia the suggested spots everyone has posted and make educated decisions.

Maybe I should point out I do agree with fate's list, my recs are a supplement to that one.

But DZ, chill the fuck out.
 

BanishingFlatsAC

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Not the fucking plantation, the actual town center by the water. That area usually has a nice breeze coming in, antique shops, old book stores, and seafood dining. My family has gone there every August since I was a kid.

If you haven't been to CC how the fuck do you know? Its more of a yuppie spot then a hipster spot, but thats fine, its an easy to get to area after he's exhausted Copley and Downtown. I have enough respect for any forum member here (well most forum members), that they will google/wikipedia the suggested spots everyone has posted and make educated decisions.

Maybe I should point out I do agree with fate's list, my recs are a supplement to that one.

But DZ, chill the fuck out.

I was being sarcastic. I was working in Coolidge and was going to take a store there until I almost got fined for smoking a cigarette.
 
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