It's game reviews like this that keep me warm at night...

neobuyer

Master of Disguise,
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Oct 7, 2000
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http://www.ridgepoint.org/5-reasons-why-you-should-not-play-grand-theft-auto-five/

I can just imagine the strident, effort-full tone of voice this guy would use while preaching in his church:
"Holding the button down slowly fills a meter indicating how much this stripper likes you. If you grope her enough without getting caught, she’ll invite you back to her house, where you’ll have sex. She’ll also offer discount lap-dances in the future."

I grew up with Evangelical Christian wack jobs, so that's why I find it so funny when they are horrified by the content of video games.

Although I have to say, in regards to the crime and violence, they are a teeeeeny bit right.
 
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andsuchisdeath

General Morden's Aide
20 Year Member
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Oct 2, 2003
Posts
7,576
The number 1 reason to not play grand theft auto is because it sucks.

Now rejoice my brothers.
 

LoneSage

A Broken Man
20 Year Member
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Dec 20, 2004
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44,864
Man it's so fucking great not to live in a place where I'm reminded of Jesus and Christianity everyfuckingday.
 

Electric Grave

So Many Posts
No Time
For Games.
15 Year Member
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Posts
20,259
The number 1 reason to not play grand theft auto is because it sucks.

Now rejoice my brothers.

Rejoice in hatred for shit games!

Truth be told, I hate most games out there. Now, I'm not one of them "OMG 2D is the bestest ever yay!" or "OMG if it ain't retro rectal I don't wanna know" I give games the benefit of the doubt, I tried them and if these games don't meet my criteria then to hell with them, I cast them aside never to be seen again. Hell, even more honest than ever, I hate most games period, even old ones, some old games are just suckfest for me.

I tell you what, hatredy list of games incoming!

Final Fantasy everything!
Minecraft Retarded Edition
Skyrym Doucherriffic Dorky Looking Shit Stain.
Grand Theft Auto Bullshit
Madden Broseph Rampage of Rape
Call of Idiots and Dutyfull Homos
Demon Dorks
Assassins Cretin Lame Ass Extravaganza
Biodouchebags Infite lamedom
Titanfall Turds
Destiny: To suck for life
Gears of shit
Fart Emblem
Episodic Shit Games like Walking Hags and Game of Turds.

I think you're getting the jist of it. I hate passionately games that don't put me to the test in a creative and challenging way.

Awesome games that go beyond all greatness and still pretty modern just so no one here thinks I'm just bashing on new shit.

Ninja Gaiden Black
Lords of Shadow
Shadow of the Colossus
Outrun 2
Ridge Racer 7
DMC Devil May Cry Reboot
Ninja Gaiden 3 Razor's Edge
Metal Gear Solid
Resident Evil 2

Genres of Hate

RPG anything!
Simulation games
Macro Manage
Reading games
 
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TheBigBB

Formerly known as dmhawkmoon
Joined
May 5, 2002
Posts
6,117
Obviously it's not a game for kids, but to say there are no Christian morals is just being lazy. The lives of the main characters are complete dog shit. The characters become estranged from their families and friends. They often wind up dead, unless you somehow manage to complete the game without failing a mission. Most people will see their characters get killed numerous times. The moral? Don't be these people.
 

Castor Troy

The Esfinter that theMot Chupame's
Joined
Oct 5, 2008
Posts
3,187
The number 1 reason to not play grand theft auto is because it sucks.

Now rejoice my brothers.

If this was GTA4, I'd stand by you raising the banner flag. The thing is, GTA5 is really good, and you guys are missing out on a great game.
 

Heinz

Parteizeit
15 Year Member
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Posts
22,402
If this was GTA4, I'd stand by you raising the banner flag. The thing is, GTA5 is really good, and you guys are missing out on a great game.

I'm going to charge across no mans land here and agree, I think this is probably the best one so far. It's taken them a long time but the missions actually tie into the somewhat silly story at least. Now I'm no call of duty lover (2 was good though) and yeah battlefield sure is boring but there is an element of childish, lazy fun to be had in their multiplayer portion. I tend not to hate on games, everyone has their taste. So what. Some people love those stupid sequel churning titles and good on them, just shut up about it and stay away from me.
 
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evil wasabi

The Jongmaster
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Posts
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If this was GTA4, I'd stand by you raising the banner flag. The thing is, GTA5 is really good, and you guys are missing out on a great game.

I am okay with missing out on "great games."

I think more people here should be as well.
 

smokehouse

I was Born This Ugly.,
15 Year Member
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Sep 6, 2005
Posts
12,919
Christians.

Gotta love fanatics bitching about something they do not care about.

"I don't like this...neither should you."

If I were a game developer, I'd just make a game called "The Adventure of JC&GG 2000". Jesus Christ raises GG Allin from the dead for a single night of mischief out on the town. Shootin' up heroin, shitting on each other, knocking teeth down the throats of every cunt they come across. In the end, a grand concert where you get to guitar hero to classics such as Bite it you scum, get to sim JC getting ass fucked by GG on stage and in the final level...dual assisted suicide by overdose in a shitty back alley.

Fuck, I'd be loaded. The game wouldn't even have to be good. Every Christian would sell it for me via reviews like this one.
 
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neobuyer

Master of Disguise,
Joined
Oct 7, 2000
Posts
8,083
Christians.

Gotta love fanatics bitching about something they do not care about.

"I don't like this...neither should you."

If I were a game developer, I'd just make a game called "The Adventure of JC&GG 2000". Jesus Christ raises GG Allin from the dead for a single night of mischief out on the town. Shootin' up heroin, shitting on each other, knocking teeth down the throats of every cunt they come across. In the end, a grand concert where you get to guitar hero to classics such as Bite it you scum, get to sim JC getting ass fucked by GG on stage and in the final level...dual assisted suicide by overdose in a shitty back alley.

Fuck, I'd be loaded. The game wouldn't even have to be good. Every Christian would sell it for me via reviews like this one.

The irony for me is that sometimes religious groups like these are kind-of-right, or rather I should say that they are part right. Because while I think it's absolute bullshit that realistic videogames featuring violence- and especially sexual elements- corrupt the people who play them. Just like I think it's bullshit that pornography or strippers in games cause people to objectify women in and of themselves. But given the ever increasing obliteration of the quality two-parent family and our societies gradual decline into a wonderland of conformity and not thinking for ones self, there are definitely some pesonality types who are negatively influenced by realistic, gleefully murderous gameplay elements in SOME video games.

My opinion is that only a very few people, assuming they are not mentally disordered and are raised properly and not neglectedy their parents, will be influenced to go out and 'live out' the themes in such games. But let's be honest and acknowledge that games like the GTA series and others glorify criminal behavior. But no worse, even less IMO, that rap music from NWA on has had a lot of acts that do The same. Any healthy person is affected not one iota by this stuff however, most of us find viscerally violent, real-world kinds of games and hard themes in music a way to let off steam.

Man, I find myself rambling without direction now :).
 
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