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Thread: it was a little rapey at the gym today.

  1. #1
    Trust the French? cdamm's Avatar
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    it was a little rapey at the gym today.

    My wife has a term for the kind of gal that goes to the gym in revealing clothes trying to look sexy. She calls them 'gym tarts'.

    So im on the treadmill warming up. it is a line of like 15 machines. 4 are in use and everyone is spread out. A train wreck of a gym tart gets on the treadmill next to me. A just super unattractive and rather overweight lady in really tight short shorts and a half top. Know the term "muffin top"? this was muffin batter spilling out. My eyes wandered to my left and took a gander- not in any sexual manner mind you. I was looking the way someone stares at a train wreck.

    I put it out of my mind and continue on my workout. stationary bike- she walks past me. 'ropes gone wild'- she interrupts my routine trying to walk through causing a loss in the rhythm that is required to do that exercise. Vertical Squat machine, leg curls, reverse leg curls, dip machine- all walking by me more than once. Im starting to feel uncomfortable.

    I get to the locker room and get changed in a hurry. Im making my way to the door when i see her sitting in the waiting area already changed into her street clothes (also not appropriate for a gal her size). Naturally it was a little busy there tonight and i'm parked at the back of the building. I walk out the door and around the corner. she is walking behind me.

    As i get to the back of the building and my car is in sight, she very quickly grabs my ass spins me and tries to jam her tongue down my throat.

    "Woah, Woah, Woah!", i say. "look im a married man- im not interested. what the hell is wrong with you??"

    "Oh i saw you checking me out- admit it- you liked what you saw!"

    "no. i was horrified at what i saw. you really need to learn how to dress."

    I get back to my car. she was screaming obscenities as i walked away. it was one of the most trashy things i have ever witnessed. It was beyond uncomfortable. Apparently I am an ugly chick magnet now.

    Ive been home for 2 hours now. I have brushed my teeth 3 times and rinsed with listerine 4 times. I can still taste the colonels gravy on her breath.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kpj View Post
    Sometimes, the customer doesn't always KNOW what's right.



  2. #2
    Slugmariner Captain
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    You've got a gift my friend. Don't hide that under a bushel basket.

  3. #3
    Rotterdam Nation Resident
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    faaaat bait.

  4. #4
    . SNKorSWM's Avatar
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    I suggest a trip to the doctor, just to make sure you haven't gotten mono.

  5. #5
    Strangles Collaborators Lagduf's Avatar
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    You sexy beast.

    Call the cops next time.
    There is too much confusion.

  6. #6
    Trust the French? cdamm's Avatar
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    someone call merc. i needed backup tonight.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kpj View Post
    Sometimes, the customer doesn't always KNOW what's right.



  7. #7
    Strangles Collaborators Lagduf's Avatar
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    He's got a lady-friend these days as I understand it.

    No luck there bro.

    You complain to the gym about this whore?
    There is too much confusion.

  8. #8
    Trust the French? cdamm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lagduf View Post
    You complain to the gym about this whore?
    gonna do that tomorrow. im there 7 days a week these days. i just wanted to get the fuck away. god forbid she yells for help or something else crazy.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kpj View Post
    Sometimes, the customer doesn't always KNOW what's right.



  9. #9
    The Esfinter that theMot Chupame's Castor Troy's Avatar
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    Is this a stealth-brag thread?

    Congrats?

  10. #10
    Strangles Collaborators Lagduf's Avatar
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    You really could call the police (but probably should have hours ago)

    Imagine if you were a small woman and a large man tried to do that. Fuck a double a standard.

    Having the cops pay someone a visit is a much greater revenge.
    There is too much confusion.

  11. #11
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    as p00t reads this thread, he wishes to himself...man, I wish it were me! The last time he got any, there were still dinosaurs running around outside

    And I thought it was bad when this one chick accused me of checking her out. Oh believe me, vicbaby's wandering eyes have ended up fixated on the tailfeathers of many little chickens before, but this one in particular was absolutely disgusting. If I were checking her out, I would have told her.

    gargle with BLEACH
    thank you,
    Dion Dakis
    www.NeoGeoFreak.com

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Castor Troy View Post
    Is this a stealth-brag thread?

    Congrats?
    place your bro fist here
    attract chicks like a magnet
    I swat'em away

  13. #13
    Orgy Hosting Mod abasuto's Avatar
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    This is the advantage of being an alcoholic. Stay drunk 24/7 and if an event like this happens, beer goggles are always on.
    Quote Originally Posted by OrochiEddie View Post
    our flame wars have become smarter. More tactical. Like the CIA of Trolling

  14. #14
    . SNKorSWM's Avatar
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    Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

  15. #15

    brentsg's Avatar
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    What kind of muffin top, maybe blueberry?

  16. #16
    The Mad Jock. IDCHAPPY's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cdamm View Post
    gonna do that tomorrow. im there 7 days a week these days. i just wanted to get the fuck away. god forbid she yells for help or something else crazy.
    Sounds horrific mate, get some councilling

  17. #17
    Fuck eBay & PayPal
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    That story was like a scenario you had in your head during a morning iFiddle, you came ages ago Chris, no need to continue the scenario

  18. #18
    The Esfinter that theMot Chupame's Castor Troy's Avatar
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    cdamm, you have suffered an emotional shock. I will notify a rape crisis center.




  19. #19
    World's Greatest Poster Dr Shroom's Avatar
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    lol married man
    Quote Originally Posted by christoph View Post
    Is there no moderation, anywhere on this entire site?

  20. #20
    Made of Wood SonGohan's Avatar
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    Sounds like they should be charging you extra for membership fees
    Quote Originally Posted by Blue Steel View Post
    I'm not beating my girlfriend. I swear to God.
    Quote Originally Posted by ResO View Post
    You made it very clear that no guy has fucked you in the ass.

  21. #21
    MotoGP and Formula 1 Freak DangerousK's Avatar
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    I don't know why cdamm is complaining.

    I've raped him quite a few times in chat.

    He should be used to it by now.

  22. #22
    Trust the French? cdamm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Castor Troy View Post
    cdamm, you have suffered an emotional shock. I will notify a rape crisis center.



    that seriously made my morning.

    on a side note- i couldn't figure out what kind of perfume she was wearing then it hit me this morning. it was mc rib.
    Last edited by cdamm; 08-22-2012 at 10:38 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kpj View Post
    Sometimes, the customer doesn't always KNOW what's right.



  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by cdamm View Post
    that seriously made my morning.

    on a side note- i couldn't figure out what kind of perfume she was wearing then it hit me this morning. it was mc rib.
    McRib on her breath
    Placing her hand on my dong--
    A perverse horror

  24. #24
    Trust the French? cdamm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aria View Post
    McRib on her breath
    Placing her hand on my dong--
    A perverse horror
    it was kfc gravy breath.
    mc rib perfume.

    there is a country song in there. i just know it.
    Last edited by cdamm; 08-22-2012 at 10:52 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kpj View Post
    Sometimes, the customer doesn't always KNOW what's right.



  25. #25
    . Yodd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cdamm View Post
    As i get to the back of the building and my car is in sight, she very quickly grabs my ass spins me and tries to jam her tongue down my throat.

    "Woah, Woah, Woah!", i say. "look im a married man- im not interested. what the hell is wrong with you??"

    "Oh i saw you checking me out- admit it- you liked what you saw!"

    "no. i was horrified at what i saw. you really need to learn how to dress."

    I get back to my car. she was screaming obscenities as i walked away. it was one of the most trashy things i have ever witnessed. It was beyond uncomfortable. Apparently I am an ugly chick magnet now.

    Ive been home for 2 hours now. I have brushed my teeth 3 times and rinsed with listerine 4 times. I can still taste the colonels gravy on her breath.
    Soooooo...what would you have done differently if this had been an attractive 20 something year old?


    I think we need some clarification of what this female looked like.


    I can picture it now. cdamm is going to go back to the gym and this is whats going to happen (minus the kid):

    Check out Todd's Nerd Cave on Youtube!


    [Rot] 1:50 pm: ladyboys are HAWT!

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