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Thread: Car Drama and random happy accidents

  1. #26
    Orgy Hosting Mod abasuto's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GregN. View Post
    Another difference is that I'm like Batman and don't use guns. I refuse to use guns. Guns invite trouble. If I can't get myself out of a situation without my smarts and intuition, I won't find it and it won't find me.
    I should come rob you at gunpoint just to prove this point. I won't though because you've got too much heart.

  2. #27
    Stray Dog Grunt Mike Shagohod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LoneSage View Post
    Greg's justifying his existence by letting people know these things happened.
    I guess so. I guess from having had IN DEPTH and overall "high context" conversations with the guy about a wide myriad of discussion topics on my old boards (now long gone) and through PMs here... well I guess I don't quite see it that way, but that's how it's coming across I'm sure. You know this is what surprises people here about me. I'm this overly horny stray dog grunt, BMXer, and always into something nuts and nothing short of "xXxtreme" whatever will placate me... but at the same time... I find just about everyone here *interesting* and Greg is one of those people.

    I'll bet you if he hung out with me for 3 weeks he'd be a changed man. He'd get his ass kicked a few times (like I did starting off in the late 90s when I decided "fuck it") but would toughen up a bit more, and make all others realize: I may not be the quickest or strongest... but I'm damn tough and YOU'LL HAVE TO fight me tooth and nail on all fronts if you wanna be the boss of me. Otherwise Get the fuck outta' mah face, let's chill and be homies, or let's fight and get this over with.

    Then he'd start living life a little more proactively is all. Then would come the bitches (if that even matters to him). Ain't nothing like getting your cock basted in the musky scent/odor of pussy. Then there ain't nothing like living by the seat of your pants and living for right now and maybe tomorrow... but next week isn't much worrying about. Cross that bridge as you approach it. Without divulging anything Greg has ever said to me in confidence I'll say this. He's a dude who wants to play it safe in life is all, but at some point you gotta' go for broke (sometime literally) and choke slam life into the dirt and fuck it in the ass. I think when he does finally say fuck it, and lets go... he'll awake to what it is he wants. But I'm not him, and I'm not saying anything more than that, there's a few who've been sincere with me in their *Serious Conversations* that would otherwise be slammed by the populous here at large, and I'll not backstab and say anything defaming about him or these people either.
    "Live Fast... Fight Hard... Die Free!"

  3. #28
    A Broken Man LoneSage's Avatar
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    I think he should join a fight club.


    Greg go join a fight club. If you can't find one then start one.

  4. #29
    Stray Dog Grunt Mike Shagohod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LoneSage View Post
    I think he should join a fight club.


    Greg go join a fight club. If you can't find one then start one.
    You know that was the film that set me free. Up until then I had the whole Tyler Durden mindset, but hadn't put it into practice. Probably Brad Pitt's best role (IMO), and I took it to heart, minus the whole "Project Mayhem" bit. It's not so much that you need to join a FIGHT CLUB, but moreso live your life in a very Tyler Durden-esque manner. Live "as Spartan" as possible for yourself, and JUST LIVE. Whatever comes your way in the manner of money, women, etcetera... is just gravy. SURVIVAL is the only real prize in this physical plain of existence, and allowing yourself to not be defined by the things you have, drive, wear is what it's about.

    It's why people hate on me for being so brutally honest and care free about things. It pisses them off because DEEP, DEEP down... they want to as well, but in their own way (like Greg) want to play it safe and more or less tow the line. At the very least they never get off their chest what they really want to articulate to the masses or to an individual they SHOULD confront. When you do that, nothing save a bullet or an explosion can stop you.
    "Live Fast... Fight Hard... Die Free!"

  5. #30
    A Broken Man LoneSage's Avatar
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    Tyler Durden was juvenile bullshit.

    That movie changed my life too, I thought I was cool back in middle school acting like Tyler, but no, it was all a facade, just some macho bullshit facade that took itself seriously.

  6. #31
    A Broken Man LoneSage's Avatar
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    I'm going to sleep because I'm fucking tired, merc. good night.

  7. #32
    Stray Dog Grunt Mike Shagohod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LoneSage View Post
    Tyler Durden was juvenile bullshit.

    That movie changed my life too, I thought I was cool back in middle school acting like Tyler, but no, it was all a facade, just some macho bullshit facade that took itself seriously.
    I totally disagree but okay.

    I saw it more as the outside-of-myself manifestation of what I'd already been thinking & feeling from about age 10 to 19, but couldn't quite put a handle on nor define really. I'm not saying that starting fights with anyone and everyone solves the world's problems... but at the same time. Mankind has made rocket science out of everyday living. In my eyes, (or in this case Tyler's) there is no place for the holier than thou nor tow-the-line mindset.

    It's what I always tell my wife when we have MAJOR issues with eachother.

    She wants to share her life with me, and I want to simply LIVE LIFE with her in it, for better or worse, take your licks and get back up and dish out some ass whoopins of your own where you can... give as good as you get... don't take life too seriously (look at how everything is a joke to me, even though I'm a super serious guy), and BAM! Your life isn't so bad and can be fun and interesting.

    But that mindset and manner of living does come with a price, and it's that you are where you are and you have what you have. Sometimes you're high on the hog, and at others you might very well be sleeping under a bridge. Most cannot fathom that kind of life, and women are even moreso "security" minded in terms of gurantees. Life gives no guarantees though, the sooner ppl accept that, and that one needs TO WORK, when and where there is work to be had... well then the world could be a better place.

    But everything from Online Applications where you cannot elaborate you employment gaps past 35 to 50 words, to automated phone services with little to no human interaction, to a damn near ca$hless society just makes everyone all the more "complicated" with nowhere to let loose.

    If that's juvenile then so be it.
    "Live Fast... Fight Hard... Die Free!"

  8. #33
    Mr Neo Fix-it channelmaniac's Avatar
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    OK,

    Time for p33ps to carry an emergency tool kit in their cars. The tool kit should include the following odd items:

    1 - 2 liter soda bottle filled with water. (MUCH thicker than a gallon jug and won't get punctured in the trunk of your car)

    1 - Roll of Duct Tape. Why? Makes for an excellent way to patch a leaking hose.

    1 - pair of panty hose. WTF? Yes, makes for an excellent temporary belt which can be the difference between your water pump working or not. (Not for cars in which the water pump is turned by the timing belt)

    If you have a leaking hose, one thing you can do is loosen the radiator cap to keep the system from pressurizing. It WILL have an effect on the cooling capabilities of the car but will also keep the system from pissing out the coolant so fast.

    It's also a reminder that you should check ALL belts and hoses yearly. Replace any cracked, bulging, or leaking hoses. Also replace ANY that have had oil or other fluids spilled on them. Oil, power steering fluid, gasoline, diesel, etc, WILL damage the hoses and belts. It creates weak spots that will fail.

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  9. #34
    Double Beef Smacks GregN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DARK ANDY View Post
    I should come rob you at gunpoint just to prove this point. I won't though because you've got too much heart.
    Very funny, but that would welcome REALLY bad karma in your life, and you don't want that, duder.



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  10. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by NeoDragoN View Post
    No way am i reading all that.
    You've missed nothing.

    Nothing.

    I feel sad for reading all that now, but I was constantly hoping there would be a sudden or dramatic twist to the tale... boy, was I wrong...
    Bonuskun - "Please young man. You telling me to shut up on an internet forum is about going to have the same effect of trying to tell Tarma that Metal Slug 4 was the best Neo Game ever.

    Not going to happen."


    Argentina'94 - "Gotta admit, that was the best coffee and cigarette I ever enjoyed with someone who wasn't in front of me. We MUST do this again!"


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  11. #36
    Heartlessness is a virtue HeartlessNinny's Avatar
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    Well this thread turned out to be quite the train wreck, now didn't it.


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  12. #37
    Death Before Dishonesty
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    If you think this qualifies as a trainwreck, you should see TotalFark every Friday. Jesus Krispies.
    Indifference has led to boredom.

  13. #38
    Stray Dog Grunt Mike Shagohod's Avatar
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  14. #39
    Orgy Hosting Mod abasuto's Avatar
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  15. #40
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    I guess for some members the moral of this story is sometimes it's better to keep your stories to yourself.
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  16. #41
    Double Beef Smacks GregN's Avatar
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    Uhhhh.. Maybe I was bullshitting.. Just spinning a yarn. (See Merc's doll thread)
    That's been known to happen.
    The world may never know.



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  17. #42
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    I barely read any of that greg, like the first sentance of each paragraph, but christ, that was enough.

    It's hard to believe this dude is 34 years old. You are almost 40, man, you really need to act your age. You act 17 in 90% of your posts.

    You have a lot of growing up to do, and you need to do it fast before you're 50 and still calling your Dad for advice on how to do things.

  18. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by GregN. View Post
    Uhhhh.. Maybe I was bullshitting.. Just spinning a yarn.
    Haha, no.

  19. #44
    Double Beef Smacks GregN's Avatar
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    LoL @ the responses to this thread. We have a lot of super serious people and misplaced pride cropping up here. This thread really draws out immaturity.

    This is a venue to blow off mental exhaust and laugh. No more and no less. Why do you think it's posted in the war room? If this were a serious thread, it would be in unrelated.




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  20. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by GregN. View Post
    LoL @ the responses to this thread. We have a lot of super serious people and misplaced pride cropping up here. This thread really draws out immaturity.

    This is a venue to blow off mental exhaust and laugh. No more and no less. Why do you think it's posted in the war room? If this were a serious thread, it would be in unrelated.
    I thought you weren't going to get personal on the boards? You said you liked it better that way, that we didn't know that much about you. Well this entire thread let us know how immature and helpless you are in the real world. I know you're trying to front like it's a joke, but come on, you know you were serious and then it backfired.

  21. #46
    Made of Wood SonGohan's Avatar
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    It's in the war room because you knew it would eventually be put there regardless. I think more than enough people laughed at this thread anyway.
    Quote Originally Posted by Blue Steel View Post
    I'm not beating my girlfriend. I swear to God.
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    You made it very clear that no guy has fucked you in the ass.

  22. #47
    Be water, my friend.
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    Any more car troubles recently Greg?

  23. #48
    A Broken Man LoneSage's Avatar
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    This really is one of the greatest War Room threads, even if it is only two pages.

    The clerk (a black dude) up front is befuddled. "What are you doing? He asks. "My Anti-Free is leaking, and I need water to get home. He was visably taken aback at my brashness and street smarts. I look like some 9-5 middle mannered, stereotypical suburban office cubicle slave. I thank him and continue on my way.
    beautiful

  24. #49
    Be water, my friend.
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    I like imagine a parallel universe where the black clerk remarks that he can't do that and if he wanted water he'd have to pay for the store-sold gallons.

    That's when shit gets real.

  25. #50
    Kobaa Is De Hndn OrochiEddie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G'regN. View Post
    9:30 at night. I pull out of the Opium Den of 52nd and Madison, finished for the day. After the mass exodus of everybody leaving, I pull on to the road. I notice my anti-freeze light is on. Oh shit. This has happened before - a leak in my hose. I pull up to a gas station and park. I call Jesus. "Run the car, see it if over heats." I do for 10 minutes. It stayed at normal operating temperature. "Well - just get back on the road." Thinking ahead, having a penis break down on the freeway (hwy 169) with little shoulder on the side is a dangerous idea (If you aren't street smart like me), which is my normal route. I drive on. I take a wrong turn, due to my street smarts, and go the opposite direction, because I'm still wasted on Opium. I thought of going backwards to get back on 169. Then a thought - you may call it intuition- crossed my mind at the exact moment to make a turn. "I'm hungry for Burger King" I did. Right then I noticed that was a much better idea, because that Burger King has much more real estate to pull over on. I drove 1.5 miles, and suddenly, the terrorist warning level goes to red. I pull over immediately. What now? I called Jesus. He's retired, and more than willing to help. I told him the situation. He said he'll be there when he can, he'd have a 42 mile walk on water.

    I turn on my night vision goggles, and sit and wait. I try calling my only friend, Tom Skilling, who I thought was home to kill some time waiting for Jesus. No answer. Now what? I guess I Masturbate. I thought to myself. "This sucks ass. Now we're gonna have to call a 900 number sex line, which will at least be a bill, and go to a nearby garage, which will fuck us in the ass." Or so I thought. I stayed very calm. I've been through this before, and trust myself on a need to know basis. I function better in situations that involve Opium, Burger King, and split-second cumming. Call me crazy, but I actually enjoyed this situation. For the past 2-3 years, my life has been route, safe, predictable. I've been like the living dead in that respect. The dead have their own place to live though

    John Madden pulls over and asks what's going on. I tell him the situation. "Athletes foot? You need Tough Actin Tenactin!" An hour passes, and I call Jesus. "Where are you?" I'm in Isreal, 20 miles away. "Ok, call me if you need directions on how to get to this Burger King" I hang up. I brought a Mexican to work that I didn't feel like up until now- I didn't have the appetite for it. Now I do. So I sit there, wait, and it gives me the jitters.

    A car pulls up to me. It could be dangerous to open the window or the door. I don't know who they are or what they want. But something tells me they will not be malicious, so I let my guard down. A young black guy in his late 20s, early 30s approaches. "Do you know how to get to the nearest photo booth" "No, I say. I've called Jesus and he's on the way to help." He leaves.

    A 1/2 hour passes. Jesuscalls. "Where are you? I ask." "Took a wrong turn Palestine". (He doesnt get to the city much, even though I used to have an apartment in the area, but even he didn't want to visit. He was quite a few miles away. He said he'd turn around and try to find his way there. I hang up.

    More time passes. A cop pulls up to me, shines his bright lights at me. An Asian Cop approaches, they are the least trustful since they know martial arts. "What seems to be the problem here? It asks. "My anti-freeze is leaking, and my penis overheats." He shines his mag light on the odometer. "Do you need some help." "No, I've got Jesus coming." He asked me where he was coming from. Ok, just call us if you need help. "911? I ask? Is that considered an emergency?" (I though you got in trouble if you called 911 for non-emergencies, I just wanted to double check.) The cop doesn't answer, he was too busy karate chopping kid in the next booth.

    By this time, I had to cum really bad, Jesus was close, but I wouldn't be able to get to a gas station to cum for awhile. What the fuck do I do? I talk to Jesus and said - Why not just go on the side of the road?" "Too risky. I told him. I risk indecent exposure." "Do you have an empty can or bottle." "Yea, I said - an empty Mexican." "Just use that." Good idea, I thought. I got in the back seat, Came in the Mexican and dumped it on the side of the road.

    Around 11:30, Jesus pulls up and finally finds me. I thought we'd have to mess around with towing, but he has a potentially cheap solution. He brought two gallons of water. "We'll just cool the Penis with water, and take it to Cormano (A gay Sunset Rider). Sounds good, I say. "Do you want to drive yours, or should I? Jesus asks. "I have a feeling you should drive it." After Jesus fumbled with how to turn off the emergency lights, we continued onward. We drove about 17 miles and the Penis overheated again. We stopped and waited for it to cool, pouring water into the tank. At this point we were out of water.

    Continuing on, we talk on the phone. "It's gonna over heat again, and we'll need water. We don't have too many places to stop to get it that are open." "We won't make it home if we don't stop for more water" "The only place that's open is Walgreens. Let's stop there. So we go in there and stop. I've worked there, so I know the lay of the place. I take the empty jugs, and proceed straight to the sink at the photo center. The clerk (a black dude) up front is befuddled. "What are you doing? He asks. "My Anti-Free is leaking, and I need water to get home. He was visably taken aback at my brashness and street smarts. I look like some 9-5 middle mannered, stereotypical suburban office cubicle slave. I thank him and continue on my way. Because he was black he pulled out fried chicken and called me a honkey. Without my brashness I'd be surely dead.

    We drive on our way without incident until we hit St. Francis. We turn the corner of the light, and someone's following us. It's a St. Francis cop. He follows us all the way to our frontage road to our house. "Oh shit." I think to myself. I've had 2 tickets in the past 3 weeks, for indecent exposure, I don't need another one. He pulls Jesus over. I don't know why. I sit there behind him and the cop. We go home. It's 1:30am

    "Jesus, what did he pull you over for?" I ask. "I have to now. My planet needs me"

    Call me crazy, but I liked this situation. It reminded me that I can think on my feet, and spontaneous adapt to things. Most people would be stressed out and complain, but I actually enjoyed it. I have a feeling more of this stuff will happen, but I'll be ready for it.

    I know a lot of people would say "fuck calling Jesus, take care of it yourself." And I'll tell them to fuck off, swallow your pride, and don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. It ate up a lot of our time, but it saved me hundreds of dollars of towing, and lost time at work.

    *Disclaimer - parts may be embellished. Don't trust everything you read.

    I lost interest part way. I blame reading this a second time. Please make funnier.
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