Warning: Merc Length Post
Please END MERCENARY X99 once and for all. I can walk away, but it's not the same a dying of this wretched cyber persona.
You know, for a warrior king, you've really got lousy self control.
I like you and all, and I'm not ripping on you here, this is just some friendly advice from a ninja to a barbarian.
You don't have to think and do things in terms of absolutes. You don't have to quit something "cold turkey" just because you have a problem with it.
In fact, you've tried to quit posting here twice before,
twice, and neither time worked. The second time you were back posting here a week after announcing your departure.
There's obviously a part of you that enjoys online communication (for lack of a better term). You clearly like posting online here and at other forums. If you stop posting here altogther you end up denying the needs of a part of yourself.
You won't be a whole person.
Now, you probably do spend too much time here. Judging by the length of your replies alone, I'm sure you're online for a couple of hours a day. You have children now, and you should worry about being a parent first, and put posting here second.
But parents are allowed to have hobbies too. If you wanna post here, post.
Just use your self control to set yourself a limit. Hop online for a half an hour or 45min in the evenings after the kids are in bed (or whatever time is best). Set the limit, put a clock beside the computer (a real clock, not the digital clock on your monitor) and stick to it. When the time is up, stop, and go do something else. You can have your cake and eat it too, just as long as you stick to your limits.
Being a warrior, after all, is all about self-mastery.
And one of the most important aspects of self mastery is being able to set and keep these kinds of limits.
It's the same for masturbating. You wanna "sharpen your sword", go ahead and do it. But set limits. Don't do it so much that you end up in the hospital. Sheesh. Once or twice a day is enough. I don't care how horny you are - there is no physiological "need" to masturbate. Your testicles will not actually explode. Humans need to breathe, eat, and excrete, however they don't physcially need to release sperm (no matter how blue one's balls may be).
Oh yeah, sure, there's an immensely strong mental need to do it, but this desire is mental only,
and falls therefore under the domain of self-mastery. Set a "sword-sharpening" limit and stick to it. Once in the morning and once before you go to bed, or whatever your schedule allows for. You are the king of your own castle (by "castle" I mean "body"). If you wanna "raise the drawbridge" (and by "raise the drawbridge" I mean "spank the monkey")
you should only do it because you're allowing yourself to do it, not because you're compelled to.
You don't need meds and you don't need therapy, all you need to do is set some time aside, sit down, think about your limits, set them, and stick to them. Write it down on a piece of paper if it helps. There's nothing "weak" or "lame" about this process, it's what you've got to do if you think things are getting out of control in your life.
You wanna be a Warrior King, you've got to make your own rules of governance. You don't want to have these rules dictated to you by lust / boredom / neurosis / whatever.
Finally, on the topic of the sex doll - you wanna buy a Real Doll, go ahead and do that too. Ain't nothing wrong with any sex toy or fetish as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. Set aside $20 a week that you'd normally spend on junk food or whatever, and start saving. Hell, I'd even set up that Paypal address again - some people here seemed like they genuinely thought it was a good cause.
Just make sure that you keep it locked in a closet, and that your children will never, ever see it, or heaven forbid, see you using it. I am 100% serious here, if your children ever found that, or one of your toy vaginas, I guarantee it would be very, very traumatic and leave deep and permanent scars.
OK, lecture over.
*ninja vanish*
