The Vagina Monologue: Kerry Ann's Thread a Go-Go!

Status
Not open for further replies.

soulthug

Wannabe Thug,, born 1991
15 Year Member
Joined
Dec 20, 2004
Posts
8,711
Robert said:
Hello dudes,

It's my birthday today and I have received a disturbing B-card from my ex. She told me that the last time we had oral I went so deep she got pregnant.

I don't know what to do.
:lol:
 
Joined
May 29, 2002
Posts
4,771
Spike Spiegel said:
I went back out to the garbage to get it... glad I did. I'm keeping it. It's easily the funniest thing I've ever gotten. It says "happy birthday" on the front, then you open it and it says "hope this adds to the fun"... and then she unloads on me about her normal vagina. It's comedy gold that I couldn't make up if I wanted to.

You can slap yourself for throwing that out boy! That note is so worth saving, it isn't funny.
 

Spike Spiegel

Onigami Isle Castaway
20 Year Member
Joined
Apr 24, 2001
Posts
13,681
You're all going to die, but I have an update to this!!!! I just got an email from her mom just moments ago.... this is not a joke:

You are a sick fuck Steve. Why did you humilate Kerry like this? What the hell did she ever do to you and how do you have the audacity to publicly put someone's life to be scrutinzed by strangers. You are wrong in the head boy. Laugh now boy, you'll pay for this. Maybe not now but somehow you will get yours. Mark my words.
You do not possess an ounce of maturity. You are nothing but a furniture salesman with no education and no class.
Good riddance to bad rubbish.

DON'T EVER - I MEAN EVER- CROSS MY PATH!

Now, you're asking yourself: how the hell did she even see this? Well, I made the stupid mistake of telling her about this site so she could see my mural (creative section). Well, looks like she's been looking for a lot more than that, and stumbled across my "happy birthday" post. No doubt, she will also read this.... well, all I can say is "oops"? I know I shouldn't even post this, but I can't help it. Now you all see what I have to deal with, I guess?

Jesus, my luck is just... wow.... horrible.
 

Lagduf

2>X
20 Year Member
Joined
Dec 25, 2002
Posts
46,682
Spike Spiegel said:
You're all going to die, but I have an update to this!!!! I just got an email from her mom just moments ago.... this is not a joke:

You are a sick fuck Steve. Why did you humilate Kerry like this? What the hell did she ever do to you and how do you have the audacity to publicly put someone's life to be scrutinzed by strangers. You are wrong in the head boy. Laugh now boy, you'll pay for this. Maybe not now but somehow you will get yours. Mark my words.
You do not possess an ounce of maturity. You are nothing but a furniture salesman with no education and no class.
Good riddance to bad rubbish.

DON'T EVER - I MEAN EVER- CROSS MY PATH!

Now, you're asking yourself: how the hell did she even see this? Well, I made the stupid mistake of telling her about this site so she could see my mural (creative section). Well, looks like she's been looking for a lot more than that, and stumbled across my "happy birthday" post. No doubt, she will also read this.... well, all I can say is "oops"? I know I shouldn't even post this, but I can't help it. Now you all see what I have to deal with, I guess?

Jesus, my luck is just... wow.... horrible.

roffle

this is too great
 

Asmoday

Baseball Star Hitter
Joined
Sep 17, 2000
Posts
1,268
Anatomical "normalcy" has a wide range when it comes to human growth and developement. After all, think of penis size. I have heard it stated for years that average is 5.5" or so, but normal is more like 5-7 inches. So, if you have a slightly above average, yet still inside of the normal range penis and she has a slightly below average depth vagina you could have some issues even though you both meet the criteria for normalcy. More so if you have any curvature, she has troubles lubricating or the two of you had sex often and vigorously. So a note from the doctor saying she is normal means absolutely nothing. However, if it makes her feel better so be it.
 

Asmoday

Baseball Star Hitter
Joined
Sep 17, 2000
Posts
1,268
As for her seeing this thread, who cares. I am sure she will get over it. I mean its not like she is going to run into any of us in public and we are going to recognize her and break out the tape measure while asking her to grab her ankles.

It does make me wonder if she is over you though. What purpose would she have on this forum if she isn't interested in gaming and hasn't established friendships with people. If all she ever did was browse your creative work what value would this site have to her? You think she is, well or was prior to this, still interested in you and reading your posts in order to feel closer to you? This sounds a tad zany, but teenage chicks are prone to do a LOT of offbeat crap, especially in the name of fixation.
 

neo>all

Super nO0b
Joined
Jan 21, 2005
Posts
4,339
you'd think it would be a compliment having a woman say you have a big dick. Hopefully she spreads the word to all her horny friends
 

Shawn Carr2o

6200|!!|Drillslug Driver
Joined
Oct 13, 2004
Posts
6,244
Spike Spiegel said:
You're all going to die, but I have an update to this!!!! I just got an email from her mom just moments ago.... this is not a joke:

You are a sick fuck Steve. Why did you humilate Kerry like this? What the hell did she ever do to you and how do you have the audacity to publicly put someone's life to be scrutinzed by strangers. You are wrong in the head boy. Laugh now boy, you'll pay for this. Maybe not now but somehow you will get yours. Mark my words.
You do not possess an ounce of maturity. You are nothing but a furniture salesman with no education and no class.
Good riddance to bad rubbish.

DON'T EVER - I MEAN EVER- CROSS MY PATH!

Now, you're asking yourself: how the hell did she even see this? Well, I made the stupid mistake of telling her about this site so she could see my mural (creative section). Well, looks like she's been looking for a lot more than that, and stumbled across my "happy birthday" post. No doubt, she will also read this.... well, all I can say is "oops"? I know I shouldn't even post this, but I can't help it. Now you all see what I have to deal with, I guess?

Jesus, my luck is just... wow.... horrible.


Strange woman. :eek:
 

neo>all

Super nO0b
Joined
Jan 21, 2005
Posts
4,339
Spike Spiegel said:
You're all going to die, but I have an update to this!!!! I just got an email from her mom just moments ago.... this is not a joke:

You are a sick fuck Steve. Why did you humilate Kerry like this? What the hell did she ever do to you and how do you have the audacity to publicly put someone's life to be scrutinzed by strangers. You are wrong in the head boy. Laugh now boy, you'll pay for this. Maybe not now but somehow you will get yours. Mark my words.
You do not possess an ounce of maturity. You are nothing but a furniture salesman with no education and no class.
Good riddance to bad rubbish.

DON'T EVER - I MEAN EVER- CROSS MY PATH!

Now, you're asking yourself: how the hell did she even see this? Well, I made the stupid mistake of telling her about this site so she could see my mural (creative section). Well, looks like she's been looking for a lot more than that, and stumbled across my "happy birthday" post. No doubt, she will also read this.... well, all I can say is "oops"? I know I shouldn't even post this, but I can't help it. Now you all see what I have to deal with, I guess?

Jesus, my luck is just... wow.... horrible.

if you stop posting we'll just have to assume you're six feet under, locked in a cellar, or wearing cement blocks at the bottom of the puget sound.
 

sQuareh4t3r

formerly "sQuareh4t3r", then "MacGuffin", now "sQu
Joined
Nov 23, 2003
Posts
2,661
Spike Spiegel said:
You're all going to die, but I have an update to this!!!! I just got an email from her mom just moments ago.... this is not a joke:

You are a sick fuck Steve. Why did you humilate Kerry like this? What the hell did she ever do to you and how do you have the audacity to publicly put someone's life to be scrutinzed by strangers. You are wrong in the head boy. Laugh now boy, you'll pay for this. Maybe not now but somehow you will get yours. Mark my words.
You do not possess an ounce of maturity. You are nothing but a furniture salesman with no education and no class.
Good riddance to bad rubbish.

DON'T EVER - I MEAN EVER- CROSS MY PATH!

Now, you're asking yourself: how the hell did she even see this? Well, I made the stupid mistake of telling her about this site so she could see my mural (creative section). Well, looks like she's been looking for a lot more than that, and stumbled across my "happy birthday" post. No doubt, she will also read this.... well, all I can say is "oops"? I know I shouldn't even post this, but I can't help it. Now you all see what I have to deal with, I guess?

Jesus, my luck is just... wow.... horrible.
If she wants to lay down some sort of invitation to danger, take her up on it. Cross her path. And when she stands there blubbering like a fool (since she probably expects you to piss yourself and stay away from her), wrap your hands around the stack of dimes she calls a neck and choke her the fuck out. WORD.
 

galfordo

Analinguist of the Year
15 Year Member
Joined
Mar 14, 2003
Posts
18,418
Spike Spiegel said:
You're all going to die, but I have an update to this!!!! I just got an email from her mom just moments ago.... this is not a joke:

You are a sick fuck Steve. Why did you humilate Kerry like this? What the hell did she ever do to you and how do you have the audacity to publicly put someone's life to be scrutinzed by strangers. You are wrong in the head boy. Laugh now boy, you'll pay for this. Maybe not now but somehow you will get yours. Mark my words.
You do not possess an ounce of maturity. You are nothing but a furniture salesman with no education and no class.
Good riddance to bad rubbish.

DON'T EVER - I MEAN EVER- CROSS MY PATH!

Now, you're asking yourself: how the hell did she even see this? Well, I made the stupid mistake of telling her about this site so she could see my mural (creative section). Well, looks like she's been looking for a lot more than that, and stumbled across my "happy birthday" post. No doubt, she will also read this.... well, all I can say is "oops"? I know I shouldn't even post this, but I can't help it. Now you all see what I have to deal with, I guess?

Jesus, my luck is just... wow.... horrible.

You told her about THIS site???!!! Good God - Have you LOST IT, MAN???

It isn't luck, man - it's extremely poor judgement.

I don't know if you've noticed or not, but generally speaking, this isn't a place you want to tell your girlfriend's mother about, unless you're desperately trying to get rid of your girlfriend. Basically, this place consists of a bunch of internet weirdos (myself included) not holding back on much of anything. There's a reason why there are like 2 girls that post here, and on a rather infrequent basis I might add.

You really would probably be better off if you just drew her a treasure map to your hentai collection ... :oh_no:
 

neo>all

Super nO0b
Joined
Jan 21, 2005
Posts
4,339
galfordo said:
You told her about THIS site???!!! Good God - Have you LOST IT, MAN???

It isn't luck, man - it's extremely poor judgement.

I don't know if you've noticed or not, but generally speaking, this isn't a place you want to tell your girlfriend's mother about, unless you're desperately trying to get rid of your girlfriend. Basically, this place consists of a bunch of internet weirdos (myself included) not holding back on much of anything. There's a reason why there are like 2 girls that post here, and on a rather infrequent basis I might add.

You really would probably be better off if you just drew her a treasure map to your hentai collection ... :oh_no:

And the girls that do post here probably aren't girls at all
 

Spike Spiegel

Onigami Isle Castaway
20 Year Member
Joined
Apr 24, 2001
Posts
13,681
For the record, I didn't tell her mother about it, I told her. She saw the pic of my mural http://www.neo-geo.com/forums/showthread.php?t=105782, and that was that (funny side note: it took me a lot longer to finish that painting because she kept taking the picture away from me.... nutcase!). How should I have known that she was then going to go through all my other posts? I mean, that's crazy.... but so is she, obviously. It's all a little surreal, now, since she'll be read this post... I got the email last night, and at first I had no idea what the hell she was talking about. But now it's obvious, and when I pieced it all together, I was shocked.

So, the reason I posted is this: it was funny. You don't send somebody a card, on their fucking birthday, talking about your normal vagina. I had to tell somebody. And to make matters worse, that she found this thread? That's a crazy woman. I blanked out her last name, it's not like anyone here knows here.

Ugh, what drama. :oh_no:
 

Spike Spiegel

Onigami Isle Castaway
20 Year Member
Joined
Apr 24, 2001
Posts
13,681
Asmoday said:
It does make me wonder if she is over you though. What purpose would she have on this forum if she isn't interested in gaming and hasn't established friendships with people. If all she ever did was browse your creative work what value would this site have to her? You think she is, well or was prior to this, still interested in you and reading your posts in order to feel closer to you? This sounds a tad zany, but teenage chicks are prone to do a LOT of offbeat crap, especially in the name of fixation.


Well, I'm sure she wasn't over me.... now I'm sure she is, thanks to this. But here's the thing: She's not a teenager, she's twenty-fucking-nine. That's a bit old to be doing this.

Well, I figured I took you guys on a ride, might as well show you everything there is. Hopefully I don't get any more calls from her, or I'll have to change/block my phone number.
 

Gamefan

OldSkool4Life,
20 Year Member
Joined
Jun 27, 2001
Posts
3,728
This thread is classic! Happy Birthday, hope you have a good one!

GAMEFAN
 

Spike Spiegel

Onigami Isle Castaway
20 Year Member
Joined
Apr 24, 2001
Posts
13,681
oh, my birthday was a while back.... this thing's still going. Now, I just got one more email from her sister. The whole goddamned family has my email address. Time to change emails... again!

There is something seriously wrong with a person that does something like what you did. I'm sorry I ever thought you were a good enough person for my sister.

Remember - what goes around comes around -


What goes around comes around? Well, sorry but I'm not about to send somebody a birthday card talking about my penis, so I guess you can't get me there. :annoyed:

EDIT: Email changed... so this should end the "updates" until I get phone calls...which, I'm sure I will. If you need to contact me, do it in PM only, please.
 

Asmoday

Baseball Star Hitter
Joined
Sep 17, 2000
Posts
1,268
Oh good lord, she is 29? I can't stress this enough, RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is the action of a 16-19 year old girl, not an adult. If she is still this wacky at so advanced an age I can only imagine what the actual relationship was like. You sir I have sympathy for.
 

Mawdsley

Belnar Institute Student
Joined
Jul 19, 2004
Posts
1,230
galfordo said:
You told her about THIS site???!!! Good God - Have you LOST IT, MAN???

It isn't luck, man - it's extremely poor judgement.
Lol I remember when I told my sister about this site :( Not recommended.
 

neo>all

Super nO0b
Joined
Jan 21, 2005
Posts
4,339
Mawdsley said:
Lol I remember when I told my sister about this site :( Not recommended.

I think it best that no one knows i post here. It's my dark little secret.
 

bokmeow

Ned's Ninja Academy Dropout
Joined
Apr 11, 2002
Posts
11,314
I just want to point out that I think the notes are authentic, the card from Spike Spiegel's girlfriend and the note from Gynecologist.

Reason I say this is because the handwritings are distinctively different, and especially pay attention to the way the i are dotted. Kerry dots hers with the same firm strength, whereas the gynecologist seems to dot them almost as an afterthought, or a lead in to the stem of the letters. It's the strangest way of dotting i that I have ever seen.
 

jro

Gonna take a lot
20 Year Member
Joined
Oct 11, 2004
Posts
14,410
Spike Spiegel said:
So, the reason I posted is this: it was funny. You don't send somebody a card, on their fucking birthday, talking about your normal vagina. I had to tell somebody. And to make matters worse, that she found this thread? That's a crazy woman. I blanked out her last name, it's not like anyone here knows here.

Ugh, what drama. :oh_no:

In my personal opinion, you don't send your ex a card EVER telling him, "see, I told you my pussy was perfectly normal. Not that telling you will do anything besides making you think I'm a complete psycho, but I just thought you might like to hear about my vagina." That's not what non-insane people do.

And non-insane mothers most certainly don't read about vagina notes on Neo-Geo.com and then e-mail addressee of said vagina note. Christ, Spike, that's a family of whackos right there. Good thing oyu changed your e-mail address. Now all you need to do is change your name and move to another country.
 

Spike Spiegel

Onigami Isle Castaway
20 Year Member
Joined
Apr 24, 2001
Posts
13,681
In the last, unbelievable moment, I just got a call from the Police asking me to take the note down. Yes, I'm serious. He replied, quoting one of you that "choking the fuck out of her" was a threat. I explained to him that I took her name off, nobody here knew her, and what not, but he said it was a crime since she was threatened by it. And so, this thread comes to an end. A surprising start, and a crazy finish. Perhaps it's best that this thread gets deleted all together?
 

DevilRedeemed

teh
20 Year Member
Joined
Nov 5, 2002
Posts
13,554
Spike Spiegel said:
In the last, unbelievable moment, I just got a call from the Police asking me to take the note down. Yes, I'm serious. He replied, quoting one of you that "choking the fuck out of her" was a threat. I explained to him that I took her name off, nobody here knew her, and what not, but he said it was a crime since she was threatened by it. And so, this thread comes to an end. A surprising start, and a crazy finish. Perhaps it's best that this thread gets deleted all together?


you sure someone isn't seriously fucking with you?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top