Okay guys.... update. Got them all working.
I am almost too embarrassed to list the solution here

... but I figured that there might be a chance, just a chance, that someone else is close to my level of idiocy and runs into the same problem

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First, to restate the problem:
Video+Audio-controls (i.e. no buttons work from CP) == perfect on all boards
Video+Audio+controls (2nd player only) == TMNT
The embarrassing step I was missing:
Dropping in a quarter or popping the coin slot manually. Then they all work. UGH

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In short, I will say thank you for all the posts you guys have left trying to help me out with this and your suggestions have gone into my vault of Cab troubleshooting.
On a side note, I found out from talking to artoffighting that the TMNT boards apparently (maybe not all, but seems to be for mine) that with how the players are setup my 1P controls not working were making sense due to how he explained the working of the 4P setup on those guys. I forget what the details were but if anyone needs them I can find out again and post back here. Also, down the road plan to make a small adapter for that board with 2 15 din dongles to plug in 2 sticks to play 4P konami. When I do this I will post back as well for anyone interested, else if anyone has done this feel free to let me know how

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