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Never been married
Been with current gf for 8 yrs with no intention of marriage.
How many of you are clearly happy with your choice, or do you think it just made it more complicated?
I'm just one of those people that doesn't see the benefits. I used to think I was an outlier but many of my coworkers , young and old, are also just long term w/o marriage. My guess is genetics folks have a different outlook on relationships, or it could be we just travel too much.
I know a geneticist who only just got married, and she is in her late thirties. Maybe it is just a geneticist thing. It's possible.Quote:
Originally Posted by NeoSneth
asking a neo-geo fansite about marriage advice. cliche response, but seriously.
everything about you neobuyer is cliche.
Not really asking for advice. I have no intention of getting married. Unless we accidentally have kids, we are both fine with it.
got married in april. lived with my lady for 5 years. nothing much has changed except we can now file jointly for taxes. its fine. do it or dont. you know what you are living with.
i would agree with this gentleman... for once.Quote:
Originally Posted by Anyone
again, not looking for advice. Was looking more for a conversation about the concept of marriage.Quote:
Originally Posted by Zardoz
And as most of us older members know, people here are more than just neo-geo folks. especially in unrelated.
I didn't get married until mid-30s. On the other hand, we'd been dating since our late-20s, so we were probably about to be common law married or something anyway. So far, so good. Liking it.
But I came close to getting married in my mid-20s, and I had a feeling even in the moment that it would have been a disaster. Not because of the girl; just lack of being ready. I still wanted to do too many unmarried things. As much as I'm enjoying it now, the pace of life does change when you settle in to marriage.
dude... fine.Quote:
Originally Posted by NeoSneth
well, if both people can honestly, truly say that they can be together... forever... then why not. that is, if you're the sort of person that believes in marriage.
of course there's other reasons to get married to, such as tax breaks... having someone pay you a bunch of $$$ to get citizenship in this country, possibly some rich person who wants their parents to think they're "married/happy" and also pays you $$$ to do it.
but again, the primary reason... as long as both are truly happy with each other then why not.
not to mention if you have a cool last name and your girlfriend doesn't you can point that out.
I have noticed that even when people do not have a cool last name, they are hesitant to give it up. Hell, I've known people abandoned by their father yet still dead set on hanging on to his name.
My last name is Berrywater, which is why I am the most eligible bachelor in Lake Pighorn, WV.
speaking of cool last names...Quote:
Originally Posted by Anyone
http://img.noiset.com/images/album/e...ver-18654.jpeg
Holy shit. That's as good as that baseball player named Dick Pole, but also classier.
oh and NeoSneth, when you get married you gotta play some Humperdinck. they say no one sings a love song like him. check out his stuff y0.
Would love to hear you elaborate on that. And, if you have any kids, your thoughts on having children.Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthtownKid
i'm married for 6 years. wouldn't find another person who i could get along so well,anywhere in the world. we have 3 kids. some good times and a few not so good like with any relatioship in the world.were both happy and lucky.oh and young,i'm 33,she's 29. i must note that my wife gave me for present (wedding present!) a NEO home system and a pack of Games.
has for advice ,i would never advice in favor or agaisnt marriage.we did it because we tought that it would be fun and we believed our friends deserved a cool party.we were both right.
Generally speaking:
-If the man makes a lot of money and she doesn't AND she is from Canada/US/UK/Australia/New Zealand/Western Europe/etc. then a marriage would be a bad idea.
-If she's had more than 15 sexual partners by the time she's 25...don't marry
-raised by single mother? Don't marry
-if she never brings up subject of marriage, don't marry
Anyway, those are the rules I personally play by.....
But for you, Sneth? None of what I said constitutes "advice" here, we're just talking.
Whether or not you get married depends on how you and your lady friend feel about the whole thing.
Was with someone for 12 years before getting married. Never saw the point of it until things happened in my life to change that.
It turned out to be an absolute good in my case. Been marriied to for five years now and am very happy I did it. In my case, probably saved my life. But I can only say that now, looking back on it all. I was in a dark place, she took me by the hand and led me out.
I'm not saying that with any kind of romantic sensibility. There was a point where I just stopped moving, and she kept dragging me when no one else knew how to reach me. In the end, it made us both stronger, and that's what good relationships do.
But I don't think I'd have been 'happier' doing it sooner. It happened because of seizmic emotional shifts in my perspective, and I could only get married after those shifts changed me into a person that could accept marriage. Wanted it, even.
Am I the only guy who would take the girl's last name?
i don't think i got the idea from Gendo Ikari :emb:
Really, if you feel that you are ready to get married, you should. You just have to REALLy be sure without a shadow of a doubt. I have been married twice. Once in my early 20's and I really wasn't ready, or with the right person. Now I am much older and wiser (I hope :) ) and have met the perfect person. This person that you just know gels so well with your personality, your interests, and your life! I can't begin to explain the difference between being in a marriage that works, and one that doesn't.
I can also see how someone would just be ok with going on with a long time relationship and not being married. To me, if your meant to be with a person forever, you will be. Marriage is just a piece of paper that makes it official in a court of law. If things don't work out, you two go your seperate ways. If you're legally married, then you have a pile of paperwork to sort out. Being 'legally married' doesn't mean you love a person anymore than someone who is just spiritually attached to another
I think there is a moment when you look at your partner and just know that you are meant to be together for the rest of your lives, whether you have a piece of paper to make it legal or not matters very little.
I agree that, at the end of the day, 'marriage' in and of itself is more a label than anything else. My wife and I don't treat each other any differently than when we were living together, having all kinds of adventures and 'un-married'. It all comes down to the person you're with; when we started seeing each other, we just clicked, and since then, I've come to realize that what she adds to my life could never be duplicated by another nor would I be who I am today without the experiences that we've shared together. The commitment of marriage can be made without the ceremony, but we had fun with it and as such made it a milestone adventure to look back on fondly.
Pace didn't change at all because we were together for 7 years before and already established our pace. I personally believe that marriage should not change anything other than legal benefits --there's no magical thing that occurs that wasn't otherwise there unless a person is particularly sentimental (it does seem like a nice thing to have if you know you're ready for it). I know some people say it affected them in big ways or caused their lives to change somehow, and I'm sure they believe that, it just didn't happen to me beyond the feeling of affirmation that "yes, I want to be with you." We didn't start acting different, we didn't start living our lives differently, etc. Nonsense.
But as I said, the legal benefits are welcome --especially in the various facets of adult life like buying a house, taxes, etc.
Kids, however, will change a lot. Don't need marriage to do that, of course.
Marriage is slavery.
if so, my slave makes killer sandwiches :D.Quote:
Originally Posted by norton9478
I was always against marriage but I've been with my girl like 5 years now and with no end in sight, my crippling fear and hate of commitment has subsided and I think I would be happy for a real long time if she did indeed wanna get married.
I definitely don't want a wedding for a fucking long time though, ugg I hate being the center of attention, I hate family gatherings and I also hate wasting money on stupid shit.
Married. Happy. No big difference.
From the replies I've read, it looks like people who have been with their partners for a great deal of time before marriage seem to have the best chance at a happy marriage.
wish jro would chime in
I wish I still had those nude pics of his exwife.
Her face looked a lot like my cousins so I never bothered to save them.
I'm married and happier than hell. Two kids. It's nice to come home to a family whom you love, and one that loves you just as much.
Those were almost my exact rules with one tweak...Quote:
Originally Posted by Spoon
-If she's a white woman, don't marry her. She's got one of the -azies, the lazies or the crazies.
-If she's had more than 15 sexual partners by the time she's 25...don't marry
-raised by single mother? Don't marry
-if she never brings up subject of marriage, don't marry
Agreed. I've only been married for 3 months, but I feel the same way. I don't have any kids of course, but our two dogs sort of fill that role.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spike Spiegel
If you're getting the milk for free, why buy the cow?
As for having kids, the population of human race just officially reached 7 billion a few days ago. Don't think there is any worry of becoming endangered species anytime soon.
Just make sure you're getting married because she's really the one you want to be with for the rest of your life. Too many people get married because they just think they've been together for a long time and it's just what you should do at that point. That makes for nothing but regrets and bitterness.
http://www.neo-geo.com/forums/showth...=1#post3135138Quote:
Originally Posted by Agent Sands
Man. Jro was a great poster. I miss that guy.
Where did he go?
Yea, what happened to jro? He was a good guy, always buying and playing games. He's dropped off of Xbox Live too I noticed. He fell off the face of the internet.
This is coming from a lifelong bachelor who's barely had any dates in his life, but I wanna get married and have kids to pass my genes on to the next generation. Kids are fun - you get to see them grow and mature, and guide and direct them - be their mentor. You have someone that will always be there for you and can support you, and you can support them (I'm talking about a wife).
I'll probably be on the same path as my Dad and get married into my mid-late 30s and not have a kid until my 40s. I'll have to marry a young woman if I want to have kids, which kinda sucks, because they're immature and tougher to deal with, but that's what I'll have to deal with. I guess I'm kinda immature, too, so it balances out. :( But I'm getting better and more mature. Buying a house did that to me. :)
I've been with my girl since 1990, we finally married in 2004 and couldn't be happier.
Was marriage a good choice? That's not the point IMO. My girl was a good choice, that's all thatmatters to me.
I still do. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Agent Sands
Dunno if I ever want to get married, don't really see the point of it (except lower taxes)....maybe later, like ten years or so.
Married, not married...there's little difference other than what you have to do to leave them if things go south. I've been with my wife since 1995 and married since 1998. Things have gone up, gone down and the up again...like a roller coaster. My life with her would be 100% the same had we not been married...it still would have been her and I doing the same things.
The thing is marriage is nothing more than a legal status and many get don't understand that. It doesn't change a thing so when people blame getting married on either destroying/saving the relationship...they're fools. It doesn't make you a different person, it doesn't make you live any different. You're either going to fight or not...cheat or not...get along or not. A ring and a piece of paper won't change that fact. If your "other" thinks it will save a relationship or threatens to leave you if you won't get married...dump them because the ultimatums will never stop...it will just be something different next time.
I love when people have kids to save a relationship. If you don't have a strong relationship, kids will destroy you. They ain't easy!
So the concensus seems to be that there's no benefits to marriage other than the tax incentives? Makes sense, I guess. :lol:
I'd like to hear what Merc has to say about this - I wish he's chime in.
Been married for about 3 years now and it’s been great. Like Spike said, it’s great coming home to someone who loves you after a long hard day at work. She’s definitely my best friend. My wife takes good care of me, and I take good care of her.
But at the same time, even though we are dependent on each other, we have our own little things we like to do on our own as well…it’s all about finding a proper balance in life.
I've seen this face.
so are you married yet?..
you obviously made this thread because you know you want to/are going to.
get it over with already !
[EDIT] Vegas - Drive-Thru - Elvis Impersonator = PURE WIN
Married for 5 years. With that girl for almost 9 years. After the divorce, I've broken up with every girl that mentioned marriage.
It's probably a combination of both (just guessing here) but would you say the reason you break up is more because it reminds you of your marriage to that girl in particular or is it more because you just realized the institution of marriage isn't really for you?Quote:
Originally Posted by Soilwork
Your answer made me think of the question and I realized your answer was a pretty interesting response.