Who has been there and done this?

Need some love from you guys and gals........

I broke up with my boyfriend about a month ago because I dont feel the same anymore. It was really hard and painful and he kept on trying to get me back and stuff. Then he wanted to meet up for a drink as friends with our group of friends just to see each other and be friends. I told him if he mentioned anything about "us" i was gone. He agreed, we met it went ok till i had to go home....He got upset and started talking about "us" we ended up having a massive fight and I havent spoken to him since or had any contact with him since. We used to have some sort of contact everyday so this is really hard and now I miss him like hell and really want to hug him.

I am not going to do anything because its him that doesnt want to talk or have any contact. I know its going to get better eventually but at the mo I'm kinda low and need some love. :( Some hugs would be nice.

Who has gone through this?

I'm fresh out of hugs but I did just get in a fresh shipment of ass slaps.

*slaps Silverangel's ass*

Hey just kidding, get well soon.

Uh...find another guy I guess, it can't be that hard.

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Originally Posted by SilverAngel

Need some love from you guys and gals........

I broke up with my boyfriend about a month ago because I dont feel the same anymore. It was really hard and painful and he kept on trying to get me back and stuff. Then he wanted to meet up for a drink as friends with our group of friends just to see each other and be friends. I told him if he mentioned anything about "us" i was gone. He agreed, we met it went ok till i had to go home....He got upset and started talking about "us" we ended up having a massive fight and I havent spoken to him since or had any contact with him since. We used to have some sort of contact everyday so this is really hard and now I miss him like hell and really want to hug him.

I am not going to do anything because its him that doesnt want to talk or have any contact. I know its going to get better eventually but at the mo I'm kinda low and need some love. :( Some hugs would be nice.

Who has gone through this?

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That's a really tough situation, and I totally feel for you. I know a little of what you're feeling like, I think- I broke up with a girlfriend several years back, and we agreed to stay close friends (since it was actually her parents who forced her to end things).

It was hard enough seeing her every day (we worked together) and trying to get along okay, but then she started dating a new guy and slept with him right away (she had been one of those ultra-Christian "no sex 'til marriage" types before that, so I had put up with no sex for a long time while I was with her), and everything just went straight to hell. She still wanted to be friends, but I felt really weird around her and pretty bitter.

It will get better with time. Find a nice guy friend to hang out with who isn't trying to sleep with you and you'll start to feel better about men again.

Here's hoping you feel better soon. :)

LOL stinky thats so much better *rubs ass* :P

I have been with him for nearly 4 years. I worshipped the ground he walked on I loved him with everything he was my life and was going to be my future. It will be hard even though i dont see it with him now I dont see it with anyone.

It sounds like you two had a great relationship at one time.

If you're serious about saying it's no longer the same, then you've done the right thing.

When a relationship ends because it doesn't (for lack of a better term) "work" anymore, there's going to be the weirdness you're going through with your ex. It's not like you two had any easy-answer reason to break up (like cheating or whatever), so you've still got all these leftover feelings from and for someone you were very close to.

Sometimes you try to work a serious relationship into a friendship, but it's tough with all that history/emotion and often times things kind of explode like they did here... Remember: Even if it didn't happen, things will never be the same between you two.

It may be harder to work on keeping him as a friend at this point: I'd concentrate on moving on, and maybe (many months or more from now) you can recontact him and you'll both be able to communicate and deal with each other with less of this emotional baggage. Time is probably the best thing for you. I'd concentrate on, at least, hanging out with your close friends right now.

Just my random, hasty 2 cents there... (or should I say shillings?)

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Originally Posted by jro

It will get better with time. Find a nice guy friend to hang out with who isn't trying to sleep with you and you'll start to feel better about men again.

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Yeah good advice. Become friends with a gay guy.

Also, a friendship with the guy you broke up with is a bad idea.

Well, most of us can not really give you advice from your angle....

Best thing to do is just work on getting over it. Find some new friends to hang out with, keep your mind off of what went on, new hobbies or activites, etc. It is hard to do, but it will help get you over the hurt in the beginning. Definitely do not hook up with another guy, guys typically prey on the gals that just got out of a relationship, easy prey because they are typically emotional, and it just tends to lead to more heartbreak.

Sorry to hear that jro tough :( *hug* could understand why it would be hard no sex for a long time is a pain.

Thanks for the advice everyone it has helped a lot :) Bobak your random 2 cents/shillings was really cool thanks :)

I do have one friend who is being really helpful at the mo :) he has done wonders for me :)

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Originally Posted by Stinky-Dinkins

Yeah good advice. Become friends with a gay guy.

Also, a friendship with the guy is a bad idea.

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They say gay dudes make the best friends for chicks, don't they? They can help shop for clothes and stuff.

Totally right about the friendship thing being a bad idea. Learned that myself. So after I broke off my engagement last year, never talked to the ex-fiance again.

It can work, but oh-so-rarely, and it tends to take a lot of pain to try to get there.

I fully understand him -- I wouldn't be able to be friends with someone I actually dated and cared for.

Mostly because "friendship" and "sexual attraction" don't go together.

Do you think a gay guy could help me buy clothes?

i dated a girl like that once. except it was her who didn't feel the same, and turn 4 years into 3 months, and turn heartbreak into "oh well that's news i guess" and turn british into texan... maybe the case isn't the same at all. but umm shit i dunno you'll be okay toots. but like dinkins i am out of hugs, and all i have are ass slaps as well take it or leave it *slaps silverangel's ass* good luck, you'll be fine.

i havent managed to be friends with any lady after some kind of relationship. i dont think it works.

ass slaps and hugs,
not0

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Originally Posted by SilverAngel

LOL stinky thats so much better *rubs ass* :P

I have been with him for nearly 4 years. I worshipped the ground he walked on I loved him with everything he was my life and was going to be my future. It will be hard even though i dont see it with him now I dont see it with anyone.

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To begin with, why then did you fall out of love? It certainly doesn't happen just because. It may have a lot to do with him that changed your feelings.

Secondly, try not to be too selfish in needing his attention and hugs. He is still in love with you and though a hug may be harmless and simply a show of affection for who he is, to him it will be a show that there is still something left in your heart. Don't confuse him. Let him forget you before he can be friends with you.

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Originally Posted by Mouse_Master

Well, most of us can not really give you advice from your angle....

Best thing to do is just work on getting over it. Find some new friends to hang out with, keep your mind off of what went on, new hobbies or activites, etc. It is hard to do, but it will help get you over the hurt in the beginning. Definitely do not hook up with another guy, guys typically prey on the gals that just got out of a relationship, easy prey because they are typically emotional, and it just tends to lead to more heartbreak.

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:spock:


*prods himself to check he's awake*

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Originally Posted by SilverAngel

Who has gone through this?

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After a while, the question becomes who hasn't gone through this...
;)

but all joking aside, the first time you experience anything in matters of the heart is always the strongest, but time will do the trick...and it's comforting to know that you'll be all the stronger afterwards...take comfort in friends to help you get by, best of luck

I understand where you are coming from with the "not the same feeling anymore" thing. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 2 years now,and I have to say it's definatly not the same as when we first started. In the beginning it was all lovey dovey kind of talk,letters,shyness,and she was alot closer. Now after 2 years, it just dosen't feel the same. She says that our relationship is stronger than how it was when we first started dating,but I don't know,I just dont feel it. I mean,I love her to death,and that's how I will always feel,but I can understand how things just don;t feel the same anymore,from a guys POV.

The best advise I can offer is to just be on your own for a little while. Get your head together and then when you are back to your old self, think of the new journey you will be on from there.

GAMEFAN

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Originally Posted by Mouse_Master

Well, most of us can not really give you advice from your angle....

Best thing to do is just work on getting over it. Find some new friends to hang out with, keep your mind off of what went on, new hobbies or activites, etc. It is hard to do, but it will help get you over the hurt in the beginning. Definitely do not hook up with another guy, guys typically prey on the gals that just got out of a relationship, easy prey because they are typically emotional, and it just tends to lead to more heartbreak.

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yea, mm has it down.
spend more time with your friends and take up a new hobby.
i'm taking up checking out the www.alamocityrollergirls.com
some ladies at my school are involved so you know.
girls with tattoos beating the hell out of each other.
sounds pretty damn cool to me.
but it's easy to feel sorry for yourself and live in the past.
think about it this way.
is he feeling all sorry and shit?
i don't know the answer, but for me in the past it's no.
so i just do my best to move on right?
REMEMBER THE ALAMO MOTHERFUCKERS!

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Originally Posted by SilverAngel

Need some love from you guys and gals........

I broke up with my boyfriend about a month ago because I dont feel the same anymore. It was really hard and painful and he kept on trying to get me back and stuff. Then he wanted to meet up for a drink as friends with our group of friends just to see each other and be friends. I told him if he mentioned anything about "us" i was gone. He agreed, we met it went ok till i had to go home....He got upset and started talking about "us" we ended up having a massive fight and I havent spoken to him since or had any contact with him since. We used to have some sort of contact everyday so this is really hard and now I miss him like hell and really want to hug him.

I am not going to do anything because its him that doesnt want to talk or have any contact. I know its going to get better eventually but at the mo I'm kinda low and need some love. :( Some hugs would be nice.

Who has gone through this?

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wow, this must be the 1,264th post on NG.com regarding such territory but I probably contributed the first 600 or so :p

the fact that it comes from a girl though, makes this one extra notable.

Well Bobak pretty much summed it up w/ his 2 shillings.

I know how you feel, because my ex and I split due to not cheating, but that it wasn't working like it did in the old days.

when the magic's gone, hey, it's gone.

you did the right thing. have no regrets, and right now yall just need a break from each other... too much emotional baggage/history... in time maybe you can be friends but it'll never be the same again.

just move on for now and accept things as they are.

remember the words of Buddha. Suffering comes from the desire to have things be different than what they actually are.

You think that's weird? Try having an ex want to still be your friend after they cheated on you. It's the most bullshit thing ever, especially since you had no clue and still thought they were wanting to be with you. I've already moved on, but it irritates me to no end how my ex wants to be friends like nothing ever happened. I wouldn't be friends with one of my guy friends who fucked me over, so what makes her think that I would want to be friends with her? Because we have a long history together? That makes what she did even more fucked up.

And Efraine - if you're reading this, just shut your fucking mouth about what I said. I don't need people reading shit that I say on a message board and relaying it like a fucking pigeon to her. You think I don't have enough shit to put up with from her? Keep your nose in your own fucking business.

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Originally Posted by Gamefan

The best advise I can offer is to just be on your own for a little while. Get your head together and then when you are back to your old self, think of the new journey you will be on from there.

GAMEFAN

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Agreed and that's all i'll say on the subject matter.

The most I can really do is this:

::BIG HUGS::

I know things will get better soon. Just hang in there woman. :)

passion doesn't last forever.

getting sex appeal from a person doesn't last forever either.

marriage based on either of these two ends up with trouble and wasting time.

to break up with your friend after 4 years for such a reason is the worst thing you could to him.

I say if you think he's a wise person and would not cheat on you* in the future, do yourself a favor and get back to him as soon as you can. apology and let him know you want him back.


*ok, you can't be 100% definite about this, but you could ask him what does he want and expect from you. if he loves you because you look good .... etc. then that's gonna change with time.

couples should love each other because of what they are ready to sacrifice for each other, not because of appearance or passion (passion is good, but it's not enough for an eternal relationship. like I said, it doesn't last forever)


uh and just because you're lovers doesn't mean you can't be friends. I mean you don't need to hold hands 24 hours a day and such. I say treat him as a friend most of the time, and as a lover in some occasions.


just my worthless opinion.





EDIT: uh and .... *E-HUGS* :glee:

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Originally Posted by SilverAngel

We used to have some sort of contact everyday so this is really hard and now I miss him like hell and really want to hug him.

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Give it some time.

A friend of mine from school broke up with his gf after having a gut feeling that it was the right thing to do. Of course, she was furious and he tried to pass it off as being kinda indifferent.

He eventually realized that he made a mistake, they got back together again and eventually married.

I'm not saying that this is what you should do, but try taking a two or three week vacation from him, spend time with your girl friends and other activities, then see how you feel about things at the end of that period.

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Originally Posted by k'_127

uh and just because you're lovers doesn't mean you can't be friends.

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http://photo.sing365.com/music/Image...l_Bolton_5.jpg

I am sorry to hear that you broke up with your boyfriend SilverAngel and it must be really hard for you I bet. :( I have never been in a relationship, but I do know how it feels to be sad when I like someone so much and they either are to young, older, have a boyfriend, married or if I get rejected which does hurt. :(

All I have to give is a big hug and if I met you I would give you a big hug to make you feel better. Cheer up girl and play some cool video games or hang out with some friend okay. :D :cool:

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Originally Posted by Stinky-Dinkins

I'm fresh out of hugs but I did just get in a fresh shipment of ass slaps.

*slaps Silverangel's ass*

Hey just kidding, get well soon.

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lol that was funny

btw go out and treat yourself angel and you will feel better, it works for me :)

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Originally Posted by Wes

You think that's weird? Try having an ex want to still be your friend after they cheated on you. It's the most bullshit thing ever

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I agree wes, theres nothing i hate more than someone who cheats, after all if they are lame enough to do it once then what will stop them from doing it again. as for still being friends... what a nerve cant call someone like that a friend

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Originally Posted by rarehero

yea, mm has it down.
spend more time with your friends and take up a new hobby.
i'm taking up checking out the www.alamocityrollergirls.com
some ladies at my school are involved so you know.
girls with tattoos beating the hell out of each other.
sounds pretty damn cool to me.
but it's easy to feel sorry for yourself and live in the past.
think about it this way.
is he feeling all sorry and shit?
i don't know the answer, but for me in the past it's no.
so i just do my best to move on right?
REMEMBER THE ALAMO MOTHERFUCKERS!

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Get your shit off your couch, I'm coming down to visit.

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Originally Posted by Magnaflux

Get your shit off your couch, I'm coming down to visit.

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You'd think those chicks would be skinny with all the rollerskating they do.

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Originally Posted by ki_atsushi

You'd think those chicks would be skinny with all the rollerskating they do.

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Get over it, I like 'em with some meat on their bones. :drool:

The freakier the better.

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Originally Posted by Magnaflux

Get over it, I like 'em with some meat on their bones. :drool:

The freakier the better.

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I never said I didn't like 'em, I just said that you'd think they would be skinny if they were skating around all day. Trust me, I like thicky thicks too.

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Originally Posted by k'_127

passion doesn't last forever.

getting sex appeal from a person doesn't last forever either.

marriage based on either of these two ends up with trouble and wasting time.

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Quoted for truth...the best and most rewarding relationships I've ever had were with guys who I was very close friends with. It wasn't based on attraction (although that was definitely there) or passion (also there). Each of those relationships was firmly grounded on friendship and genuine concern for one another. The relationships were certainly much more passionate and exciting in the first couple of years, but that always wears off. When it does, you have to realize that it's up to you to maintain interest. Look at the things you were attracted to in the beginning. Look at the ways your partner has improved, and don't focus on the things that you don't like.

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Originally Posted by melchia

Quoted for truth...the best and most rewarding relationships I've ever had were with guys who I was very close friends with. It wasn't based on attraction (although that was definitely there) or passion (also there). Each of those relationships was firmly grounded on friendship and genuine concern for one another. The relationships were certainly much more passionate and exciting in the first couple of years, but that always wears off. When it does, you have to realize that it's up to you to maintain interest. Look at the things you were attracted to in the beginning. Look at the ways your partner has improved, and don't focus on the things that you don't like.

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This is definitely true. Any relationship I get into next I've already made a commitment to myself that there has to be a strong ground of friendship to support it. I can't count the number of people I've been with solely because they looked good, and it never ends up working because the 98% of the time you aren't having sex, you just loathe being around them. Took me ten years to figure this shit out.

www.DrPhil.com/forums

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Originally Posted by Stinky-Dinkins

www.DrPhil.com/forums

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http://vgtab.net/pics/drphil.jpg

Ahahahaha.

That's awesome that it actually led somewhere Dr. Phil related.

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Originally Posted by neo1087

I understand where you are coming from with the "not the same feeling anymore" thing. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 2 years now,and I have to say it's definatly not the same as when we first started. In the beginning it was all lovey dovey kind of talk,letters,shyness,and she was alot closer. Now after 2 years, it just dosen't feel the same. She says that our relationship is stronger than how it was when we first started dating,but I don't know,I just dont feel it. I mean,I love her to death,and that's how I will always feel,but I can understand how things just don;t feel the same anymore,from a guys POV.

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Just linked her to this thread.

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Originally Posted by Soniku17

Just linked her to this thread.

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hahahahaha

SilverAngel, I experienced something like that. I know exactly how you feel. To tell you the truth, I can't give you any advice, since all I did was lie in bed for awhile and hoped to fell asleep and wake up hours later. Then when you wake up, that whole upsetting feeling comes right back to you. Agh. Try doing some stuff outside.

http://mysite.verizon.net/not_sonic/pwnt.jpg

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Originally Posted by Devine Orochi

all I did was lie in bed for awhile and hoped to fell asleep and wake up hours later. Then when you wake up, that whole upsetting feeling comes right back to you.

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Ack! That sounds sadly familiar. :(

Oh yeah, also getting a puppy or a kitten helps.

Greywolf, need a hug?

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Originally Posted by not sonic

http://mysite.verizon.net/not_sonic/pwnt.jpg

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quoted again and waiting for neo1087's follow up. beautiful

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Originally Posted by Devine Orochi

Greywolf, need a hug?

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Already got one ...

http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/453/dcp31468hb.jpg

When me and my ex broke up, it was because I fell out of love with her.

There was a reason that contributed , partly her moronic mum, crackpot dad and the distance we lived from each other.

I can't explain the reason why I don't like her in that way anymore and we are friends but we don't really meet up, due to the distance and past relationship.

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Originally Posted by Greywolf

Already got one ...

http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/453/dcp31468hb.jpg

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That kid seems very uncomfortable.

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Originally Posted by Kim _Kaphwan

quoted again and waiting for neo1087's follow up. beautiful

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....not funny?

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Originally Posted by neo1087

....not funny?

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dude, fuckin weak. i wanted an explosion of anger.