Totally Heartbroken...any advice?

I just got off the phone with the woman I've been in love with for over four years. She's my best friend, and we've never officially dated. We've just both always loved each other in this really weird Harry met Sally sort of way. She just completely broke my heart.

My life has changed so much in the past few months, I got type 1 diabetes, which totally changed my life, and I'm gonna be graduating college real soon, and this has just compounded every ounce of grief I've been able to overlook. I wasn't mad when I was diagnosed, and I've never really been mad at anyone for anything...but for the first time in my life I'm really angry at myself, and her, and God.

I know this thread will probably get flamed and spammed...what with me typing for advice on a BBS. But the truth is my friends can't tell me anything. They just shrug and say "Oh well." I should have seen this coming they say.

You guys are strangers, but I feel I'm more honest here because of it...and man do I need help now.

I can't drink anymore, I can't take any drugs, I can't even pussy out and eat ben and jerry's because I'll die.

Wow.

what the hell you babbling about you didnt even tell us wtf happend.

I can't think of anything useful to say. What happened with the girl? A fight? She's decided she's in love with someone else?

I don't know what to tell you

I've been having really bad headaches now for 5 weeks

it's interrupted my life completely and I don't know where to go from here

it's like "normal" has departed for a while now and I'm starting to wonder if I took things for granted

keep hope alive

find a way to cope

we all go through these things some times

How does one acquire diabetes? Do doctors even know? I'm seriously curious.

Honestly, when it comes to women, as hard as it is to do you just have to say "Fuck it" and move on. It's not easy at first, but believe me, you'll be better for it in the end.

My girlfriend of nearly three years decided this summer that she wasn't happy being sane and basically started going nuts on me for the littlest things. One night we ended up arguing on her porch and not only did she say some really hurtful things about my past, she broke my fucking finger and slapped my glasses straight off my face. The last few months we were together were pretty bad, and that was the last straw pretty much. We parted ways, and although I've seen her a few times since, I just basically had to say "whatever" and keep on keeping on.

Take a deep breath, try to smile, and get on with your life. There's no sense in wallowing around in your own self-pity (believe me, I did it enough to know) and imagining things that could have been. They aren't going to be, so go make a new future for yourself. That's the best advice I can give to you in a 100% honest fashion.

Good luck, man.

Fuck her.

Forget about that shit and move on.

Dont waste any time.

Better off with a clean break, trust me.

Hang in there man.

Gaming or Porn may alleviate some stress/pain.

Don't do anything drastic. Things change, sometimes drastically and unexpectedly. As much as things suck right now, there is the potential for the complete opposite end of the spectrum, at any moment, really (although probably not right away).

The story I always remember at times like that (this is a dumb story, and not likely to make you feel much better, but bear with me) is when I was a youngster and that show 'Battlestar Galactica' came on TV. They cancelled it after one season, and one kid was so distraught he rode his bike off a bridge and killed himself. No lie; it was on the news.

Now, I liked that show, but that was a dumb move. Totally aside from the fact that he had so many bigger and better things to look forward to later in life (driving, sex, coffee (can you have coffee?), etc.), they brought Battlestar Galactica back the very next year as "Battletar Galactica 1980". If you believe in life after death, you can imagine the clowning he got. Then there's the new show, which I haven't seen personally, but I've heard is pretty good.

Point being: wait around; see what happens.

BoriquaSNK

Whats the point at being mad. The only difference between you yesterday and today is just 1 Insulin shot every so often. Your life hasnt changed that much. Its not like you are paralyzed from the neck down. Pull it together man!


Weevus

One acquires diabetes from your genes (not the type you wear). Someone in your immediate family had it and they passed it down to you. Some people dont get it, but their children might. Diabetes is when your liver doesnt make enough inculin.

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Originally Posted by sQuareh4t3r

Honestly, when it comes to women, as hard as it is to do you just have to say "Fuck it" and move on. It's not easy at first, but believe me, you'll be better for it in the end.

My girlfriend of nearly three years decided this summer that she wasn't happy being sane and basically started going nuts on me for the littlest things. One night we ended up arguing on her porch and not only did she say some really hurtful things about my past, she broke my fucking finger and slapped my glasses straight off my face. The last few months we were together were pretty bad, and that was the last straw pretty much. We parted ways, and although I've seen her a few times since, I just basically had to say "whatever" and keep on keeping on.

Take a deep breath, try to smile, and get on with your life. There's no sense in wallowing around in your own self-pity (believe me, I did it enough to know) and imagining things that could have been. They aren't going to be, so go make a new future for yourself. That's the best advice I can give to you in a 100% honest fashion.

Good luck, man.

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Please tell me you broke your finger from punching her in the face for slapping your glasses off. Seriously if you did absolutely nothing deserving of that then she needs a good beating. If only to knock some sense in to her.

I've been feeling somewhat like you have lately. All I can say is, for me, I've found that sometimes the bad things (from your point of view) that happen in life lead to good things that you would have never been exposed too if the "bad" thing(s) didn't happen to you in the first place.

Rich or poor, smart or dumb, young or old, there is no avoiding going through hard times. My faith in God gets me through, and every situation in my life where I thought "Can things get any worse?" God has made sure I'm never completely down for the count.

Hang in there man, things'll get better. Just be patient, give it time.

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Originally Posted by Lycan645

Please tell me you broke your finger from punching her in the face for slapping your glasses off. Seriously if you did absolutely nothing deserving of that then she needs a good beating. If only to knock some sense in to her.

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You can't knock sense into women. They either have it or they don't, so there's no need to waste the time or energy trying to beat it into them.

Forget about her.

Being sad or feeling bad about it won't change a thing, just go on with your life.

Life is full of this kind of events, not worth getting sad/mad about anything, there is no point in suffering -- simply go on and enjoy all the great things it has to offer.

We've been best friends for years, we dated other people and always had an agreement that we would end up together. I'm getting ready to graduate now, and I was totally ready to give up all that stupid bachelor bullshit and move to Philadelphia to be with her. I wouldn't even want to live with her.

She's moved to an apartment in the city, starting working for Philly's Fox affiliate just as I did for DC's, and is finishing up her degree. We'll be graduating Magna Cum Laude together. Today, I brought up the idea of us just saying fuck it and being together, something we've talked about and waxed poetic on thousands of times. But tonight, she just said the chemistry was gone.

Nothing really happened I guess. We just talked and she told me that we were never going to happen.

I've always had her as this sort of inevitability in my mind. No matter who I fuck and what I do, she would always be there on the tarmac as soon as things finally landed.

All this sounds really cliche, and vague I know, but thats really it. It was this totally complex mess of sexual tension and mutual understanding. I always thought that was what love was.

"just enjoy all the great things life has to offer if you're completed loaded"

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Originally Posted by Mystic_flame

BoriquaSNK

Whats the point at being mad. The only difference between you yesterday and today is just 1 Insulin shot every so often. Your life hasnt changed that much. Its not like you are paralyzed from the neck down. Pull it together man!


Weevus

One acquires diabetes from your genes (not the type you wear). Someone in your immediate family had it and they passed it down to you. Some people dont get it, but their children might. Diabetes is when your liver doesnt make enough inculin.

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That's type 1. The other type, type 2 is not genetic and is caused by obesity and lack of exercise. Out of all the people with diabetes 95% have type 2.

In that case it really does sound like something that you're better off out of, not trying to resurrect. I think the other stress factors in your life might have had a lot to do with this (maybe they led you to even ask her tonight about being together?) Give yourself a few months. Don't let this get on top of you.

(edit: let me know if I'm making a wizkid of myself.)

I go on bouts of attempted sobriety until I slowly lose my mind because I've spent quite a while getting messed up every day or night and then I take a big leap off the wagon and it takes me a while to catch it and jump back on again. And when I say I lose my mind I lose my fucking mind. Everyone feels like shit sometimes.

What is this the View?

Fuck it. You're better than this. Don't even sweat it. Keep the ball going.

Life goes on... you're better off without that bitch since she straight up doesn't want to be with you. It wasn't meant to be.

i got dumped via aim the other night :(

Get back at her by setting her up on a blind date with Makismo. I think that will be the last we'll see of her.

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Originally Posted by Rubber Johnny

i got dumped via aim the other night :(

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*cough*

Sig Worthy.

This type of shit happens, just remeber there will
always be that door left open if you stay as friends.

Just don't be a dick to her.
Go out and date cause I hate being a dick she will not wait for you bro :(
good luck :)

simple answer here: get some hank williams like old hank williams, the kinda shit that just reeks of old country, and listen to it constantly. that man could sing a sad song like tiger woods can play golf, just amazing. and listen to it, i mean really listen to it. in and out, each song. and then you will have an aid to the saddness it sounds stupid and prolly is but it works. tear in my beer, wedding bells, moanin the blues, please don't let me love you, honkey tonk blues, lovsick blues, weary blues from waiting, blue eyes crying in the rain, teardrop on a rose, no teardrops tonight, cold cold heart, i'm so lonesome i could cry, someday you'll call my name, move it on over, lonesome whistle, and lost highway are good starters. then go from there.

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Originally Posted by Kim _Kaphwan

simple answer here: get some hank williams like old hank williams, the kinda shit that just reeks of old country, and listen to it constantly. that man could sing a sad song like tiger woods can play golf, just amazing. and listen to it, i mean really listen to it. in and out, each song. and then you will have an aid to the saddness it sounds stupid and prolly is but it works. tear in my beer, wedding bells, moanin the blues, please don't let me love you, honkey tonk blues, lovsick blues, weary blues from waiting, blue eyes crying in the rain, teardrop on a rose, no teardrops tonight, cold cold heart, i'm so lonesome i could cry, someday you'll call my name, move it on over, lonesome whistle, and lost highway are good starters. then go from there.

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That sad, pathetic, and sappy music will have him killing himself. Bad advice man!

Well, I had a situation where I was dating a great gal (or so I thought) and thought things were going well. Things weren't as they seemed, and she broke it off with me for "family" (a.k.a. BS) reasons. We had been together a couple of years, and yea, it hurt man. I was really connected to her because of our relationship, and it messes you up inside, but there comes a point you have to realize there is someone else out there for you. If you had kept dating this lady, then you would have missed out on the one woman who is the wife that was made for you. I know, it all sounds sappy and just like a movie, but it's even better then some sappy Lifetime love story, it's the truth. My fiance and I were friends for over 13 years. I mean her mom and my dad were even in a band together back in the 70's. So I'm not sure who you lucky lady will be, but trust me when I say this, God has the one woman planned and ready for you and she's been getting ready since the day you were born.

Best of luck man. For now, try and hang out with friends. Become involved with other people's lives. You've got a big whole in you heart right now, and it's best to help fill that with other meaningful friedships. Just go out and have fun. Enjoy the fact that you can go out and be single. Trust me, the whole dating/marriage thing will come. Don't rush it. When it's meant to happen, it will happen. No sooner and no later.

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Originally Posted by Jedah Doma

God has the one woman planned and ready for you and she's been getting ready since the day you were born.

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I'm happy things are going well for you and everything, but fucking save it.

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Originally Posted by SouthtownKid

I'm happy things are going well for you and everything, but fucking save it.

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Did I miss something STK, or are you just generally in a pissy mood? I'm trying to give the guy adivce, and let him know to lay back, relax, and enjoy his life for now. The woman he's meant to be with is out there. I'm letting him know I went through a similiar situation, and things do work out in the end. Just because, for some unknown reason, you've got something against people being happy, don't take it out on me, deal with it yourself.

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Originally Posted by Jedah Doma

Did I miss something STK, or are you just generally in a pissy mood? I'm trying to give the guy adivce, and let him know to lay back, relax, and enjoy his life for now. The woman he's meant to be with is out there. I'm letting him know I went through a similiar situation, and things do work out in the end. Just because, for some unknown reason, you've got something against people being happy, don't take it out on me, deal with it yourself.

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I mean that the idea that just because you currently seem to be headed in a good direction, that everyone else in life ends up with their intended soulmate, is borderline offensive. That does on occasion happen, but life in general does not work like that. Sometimes things happen for whatever reason, and sometimes you just have to live with it. I have nothing at all against being happy, but don't go crazy -- you can't take your current situation as an indicator of how things will be for everyone.

I know people for whom it worked out exactly as you described. Almost anyone can look back at something bad at some point in their life, and see that without that, they would have missed something good later on. But I also know people where that wasn't the case, and they just had to suck it up.

To sum up, I agree that as unhappy as he may be now, there is the chance that he could be wildly more happy in the future, in a way he wouldn't be able to anticipate now. But to say it's somehow automatically destined to work out for the best is a slap in the face to all the normal people who don't have benefit of living in a fairy tale. It also cheapens his sense of loss. Yes, he needs to move on, but he's the only one who can gague the depth of his feeling for the girl, so don't be glib.

Fucking wankering bastarding diabetes

My mum has it, and last time we went to doctors they said theres a 62% Chance i will get it :crying:

Wow.

One day at a time. This too shall pass.

I don't think the girl was really for you. From what you said she was just going to be there after you got done "living" your life or whatever.

As for the diabetes thing that's really fucked up. Atleast it's not neccessarily your fault you got it. Personally I can understand. My great grandmother has diabetes and so does my mom also has it, but she's fine and generally eats whatever she wants. Hell I'll probably end up with Type 2 if I don't have a lifestyle change soon.

Sadness is pain, pain is sadness, pain is beautiful. It's actually sweet and makes us stronger.. lots of women in this world..so many options..so many new soulmates to be found.. give it 3 days and all will be gone.. right now, try to enjoy your pain..every minute of it, cause it's beautiful and real..

Did you take any prescription medications before you started to display the symptoms of diabeties? Such as Zyprexa? If so, you might have a cause of action against the pharmaceutical company. You stand the chance of winning tens of thousands of dollars for your type I diabetes. Let me know.

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Originally Posted by sQuareh4t3r

One night we ended up arguing on her porch and not only did she say some really hurtful things about my past, she broke my fucking finger and slapped my glasses straight off my face.

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No seriously you shoulda slapped that bitch down.

Ho Sit Down

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Originally Posted by wasabi

Did you take any prescription medications before you started to display the symptoms of diabeties? Such as Zyprexa? If so, you might have a cause of action against the pharmaceutical company. You stand the chance of winning tens of thousands of dollars for your type I diabetes. Let me know.

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No, my diabetes was a total freak act of God, no one in my extended family has type 1, but my little brother was diagnosed when he was 9 years old after a virus he had attacked his pancreas. Doctors think my diabetes stems from a gene that somehow began with my brother and I. There's some professor at VCU who's using my brother and me as an example of evolution and the growing genome.

On the original subject, I didn't sleep any last night. Perhaps its the guilty Catholic in me but whenever something bad happened to me, diabetes included, I always justified it as some sort of attonement for something bad I've done. That's why I was never angry about anything, I always sort of figured that on some level I probably deserve it.

It's just amazing how a basic human emotion can cripple you, how you can feel so helpless and desperate after something that is in reality so small. I know pain is supposed to make you stronger and remind you you're alive and all that horseshit, but it isn't the pain that's bothering me so much as the lack of control.

I dunno, I'm just sort of rambling.

hmmn... that's too bad. Sorry to hear about you getting diabetes. Is it possible to bring your weight down and control the diabetes? How do you control it now anyways? Insulin? Glucophage?

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Originally Posted by BoriquaSNK

No, my diabetes was a total freak act of God, no one in my extended family has type 1, but my little brother was diagnosed when he was 9 years old after a virus he had attacked his pancreas. Doctors think my diabetes stems from a gene that somehow began with my brother and I. There's some professor at VCU who's using my brother and me as an example of evolution and the growing genome.

On the original subject, I didn't sleep any last night. Perhaps its the guilty Catholic in me but whenever something bad happened to me, diabetes included, I always justified it as some sort of attonement for something bad I've done. That's why I was never angry about anything, I always sort of figured that on some level I probably deserve it.

It's just amazing how a basic human emotion can cripple you, how you can feel so helpless and desperate after something that is in reality so small. I know pain is supposed to make you stronger and remind you you're alive and all that horseshit, but it isn't the pain that's bothering me so much as the lack of control.

I dunno, I'm just sort of rambling.

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Are you on insulin? Injected? How long did you have it before it was detected?

Now that your sugar level is normalized you don't have to worry about blindness, limb trouble, etc, but the thing you really should keep an eye on is the lows (even though I'm sure they probably went over it to death with you and you have plenty of experience seeing as your brother has it.) I don't know if you're on a regular exercise routine now or are in the habit of eating foods that can spike blood sugar and lower it fast after taking insulin but low blood sugar can be a frightening thing... especially if you're somewhere where people aren't aware of your diabetes or are behind the wheel. My father's had Type II for many years now (he injects insulin and exercises regularly) and while it's probably not as extreme as your Type I, low blood sugar is some frightening, dangerous shit.

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Originally Posted by Robi15

try to enjoy your pain..every minute of it, cause it's beautiful and real..

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That's dumb. I once knew a girl who cut herself regularly; she used to say she did it because it was the "Only thing that's real." What that means I have no idea, but it's a dumb attitude. Pain isn't enjoyable (unless you’re a psychopath) - that's the point.

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Originally Posted by ki_atsushi

That sad, pathetic, and sappy music will have him killing himself. Bad advice man!

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old country is the equivalent to blues for white people. and if a man can't handle the blues then he aint a man. simple as that. when a body issad and you give em sad music and stories to feed off of they tend to ind their situation isn't as bad as it could be and get along with life with a new found love for certain musicians. say i give bad advice, but listening to sad music when one is depressed is helpful, just as hanging out with your friends is, and taking up a hobby of sorts.

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Originally Posted by StinkyDinkins

That's dumb. I once knew a girl who cut herself regularly; she used to say she did it because it was the "Only thing that's real." What that means I have no idea, but it's a dumb attitude. Pain isn't enjoyable (unless you’re a psychopath) - that's the point.

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she was quoting the nine inch nails song hurt that johnny cash covered, a good song, but a pretty unoriginal and cliche reason to cut yourself.

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Originally Posted by Kim _Kaphwan

old country is the equivalent to blues for white people. and if a man can't handle the blues then he aint a man. simple as that. when a body issad and you give em sad music and stories to feed off of they tend to ind their situation isn't as bad as it could be and get along with life with a new found love for certain musicians. say i give bad advice, but listening to sad music when one is depressed is helpful, just as hanging out with your friends is, and taking up a hobby of sorts.

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That's what the blues is all about. I can't see how listening to happy, upbeat music when you're depressed like that can help. There's some proverbs out there that say the same thing. King Solomon learned a thing or two about being in the dumps.

When things kick my ass, the book of Job helps as does Ecclesiastes. Reading/listening to the experiences of others helps put things in perspective.

hey curt, you're still a huge faggot.

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Originally Posted by Kim _Kaphwan

she was quoting the nine inch nails song hurt that johnny cash covered, a good song, but a pretty unoriginal and cliche reason to cut yourself.

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Wahahahahahahahaha. Seriously? She used to say something like it's the only thing around her that seems real or some ridiculous shit. I used to think to myself "Smacking you upside the head would feel totally real. I should smack you upside the head." I don't think she took the reason from the song but if she did that would fucking make my day.

Some people are just loons. There's no rhyme nor reason to what they do.

I'm going to give the advice I give to any guy who has his heart broken by a woman without actually being in a committed relationship with her first.

I am not talking out of my ass on this- I had to work these demons and learn these lessons in high school and up until I was 19 or so

1) Women think it's better to 'go along' with things and not explain their intentions. This is usually because they don't want to 'hurt your feelings' but also sometimes because they like the attention a pathetic guy pining away for them brings.

This is why a guy can basically have a huge, life affecting crush on a woman and only find out she has no intention of ever doing it with them once the situation has greatly progressed- and spun out of control.

2) Never be nice to women you are interested in romantically on anything but your own terms. Be in control. Women like this- even though they won't admit it to men

3) Be upfront with women and let them know from the beginning that you want to 'be with them'

4) If you haven't slept with the object of your affection in, say, a month of trying to hook up- it's not going to happen

5) Women are not attracted to lonely guys, nice guys or guys that beg

6) Women are more governed by their traditional role as cooks, weavers and mothers than you (or they) know

7) Wear nice shoes when dating (their mothers tell them to always check the shoes)

8) Lie to them- to your advantage- just make sure the lies won't catch up with you later

9) Only allow yourself to be 'in love' with a woman AFTER you are in a legitimate physical relationship with her

10) Never lose your cool, stay icy and calculated. Deliberate at all times.

hay thar

Still drinking like a bastard?

Hey. I have been through worse, fucking believe me. You have a good head on your shoulders, good prospects in life....you haven't really felt true loneliness...only dejection from someone who happens to be very important to you. And for that I'm sorry....what you are feeling is likely a culmination of other problems just blowing over as well, and it feels like falling in a bottomless well. It will pass and you will have a good life.

I know a kid around your age, just finished school, his GF is taking law at Yale, and he came from a vaction in South America with swollen lumps in his neck....they tested for parasites but it turned out to be hodgekins lymphoma. He just finished school, and in the prime of his life he's been struck down with cancer.

We as people endure all kinds of shit, just know that as bad as it gets, we are living out a fucking DREAM compared to other people in the world.
Get a hold of yourself, man.

LORD LUSTERSPARKLE!

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Originally Posted by neobuyer

I'm going to give the advice I give to any guy who has his heart broken by a woman without actually being in a committed relationship with her first.

I am not talking out of my ass on this- I had to work these demons and learn these lessons in high school and up until I was 19 or so

1) Women think it's better to 'go along' with things and not explain their intentions. This is usually because they don't want to 'hurt your feelings' but also sometimes because they like the attention a pathetic guy pining away for them brings.

This is why a guy can basically have a huge, life affecting crush on a woman and only find out she has no intention of ever doing it with them once the situation has greatly progressed- and spun out of control.

2) Never be nice to women you are interested in romantically on anything but your own terms. Be in control. Women like this- even though they won't admit it to men

3) Be upfront with women and let them know from the beginning that you want to 'be with them'

4) If you haven't slept with the object of your affection in, say, a month of trying to hook up- it's not going to happen

5) Women are not attracted to lonely guys, nice guys or guys that beg

6) Women are more governed by their traditional role as cooks, weavers and mothers than you (or they) know

7) Wear nice shoes when dating (their mothers tell them to always check the shoes)

8) Lie to them- to your advantage- just make sure the lies won't catch up with you later

9) Only allow yourself to be 'in love' with a woman AFTER you are in a legitimate physical relationship with her

10) Never lose your cool, stay icy and calculated. Deliberate at all times.

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Originally Posted by neobuyer

I'm going to give the advice I give to any guy who has his heart broken by a woman without actually being in a committed relationship with her first.

I am not talking out of my ass on this- I had to work these demons and learn these lessons in high school and up until I was 19 or so

1) Women think it's better to 'go along' with things and not explain their intentions. This is usually because they don't want to 'hurt your feelings' but also sometimes because they like the attention a pathetic guy pining away for them brings.

This is why a guy can basically have a huge, life affecting crush on a woman and only find out she has no intention of ever doing it with them once the situation has greatly progressed- and spun out of control.

2) Never be nice to women you are interested in romantically on anything but your own terms. Be in control. Women like this- even though they won't admit it to men

3) Be upfront with women and let them know from the beginning that you want to 'be with them'

4) If you haven't slept with the object of your affection in, say, a month of trying to hook up- it's not going to happen

5) Women are not attracted to lonely guys, nice guys or guys that beg

6) Women are more governed by their traditional role as cooks, weavers and mothers than you (or they) know

7) Wear nice shoes when dating (their mothers tell them to always check the shoes)

8) Lie to them- to your advantage- just make sure the lies won't catch up with you later

9) Only allow yourself to be 'in love' with a woman AFTER you are in a legitimate physical relationship with her

10) Never lose your cool, stay icy and calculated. Deliberate at all times.

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Agreed completely.