Sorry, I have to get this off my chest...

It seems that you guys can listen to anything I have to say, so I'll spill it here.

Today was one of the hardest days in my life, seeing my friend get buried.

There were 100's of people at his funeral, and he could have talked to just one of them before he pulled the trigger...

He is gone now, not coming back, no baseball this season, no football, no sports of any kind, no more seeing his son, no more seeing his mom or dad, his brother or sisters, the sky, grass, spring, seasons, me.

Why couldn't he of just gone to bed Saturday night... we all go through some rough shit in our lives,,,

Clint was strong, he kept on posting here until he died... he knew it was coming... he was going to die and he couldn't stop it.

Its very selfish for anyone to take their own lives, especially when so many people care about you.

I've been in worse situations.

Way worse.

There were times I thought I was going to die...

There were times I wanted to die...

I and all of you have so much to live for...

I'm happy I've been a part of this community for so long and sincerely apologize to all that I have hurt over the years here, and for my rude and obnoxious behavior...

I love you guys, even though I don't know any of you.

God Bless all of you, and be strong in the toughest of times.

God Bless you to Tonk,......... and be strong in the toughest of times...

I <3 you to, and happen to think you are one of the better members of this site. I'm sorry to hear this happened, be strong man.

That must have sucked ass seeing your friend burried. I think it sucks bad enough to so old relatives burried and it's a little more expected then. Not to mention the circumstances around his death. Too bad he didn't work through the shit.

I can't even imagine how shitty this must be for you. I guess all I can say is sorry to hear it and to keep your head up.

My condolences, man. Hope you are able to get through this tough time. It's really hard to make sense out of things like this.

I'm really sorry to hear this, bro. Even though you think I'm a tool, I still care about 'ya. All it takes is one lonely night to do it, but I think we all wish things like this would be "slept over" first. My life is full of death, and I'm out of tears. I give you my sincerest empathy, my friend. I'll pray for him tonight.

Really sorry to hear that man. Good luck.

i work in the special education field ... and in the past year have had 2 "clients" pass away due to MD related complications. i know how much it sucks to lose someone youre close to. i've never dealt with suicide or anything like that so i wont even pretend to know how extremely bad that would suck.

just try to keep your head up man. life can be a kick in the balls sometime. this is one of the few places most of us use to get away from reality ... even if its just for a little bit.

that sucks man, sorry to hear about your friend.

good to hear the site means so much to you and i hope that shit works out!

This is a picture I took tonight, Tonk. It probably doesn't mean much, but I thought I'd post it anyway. Here in Japan I commonly go and drink at the local cemetary in the middle of the night. (Sounds weird, I know). Despite being an Atheist myself, Mary and I kick back and relax for an hour or so a couple times a week. She looks down on me when I'm bummed, so hopefully she'll do the same for you. This is a cool picture, no flash.

http://members.aol.com/porygon000/mary

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TonK

Clint was strong, he kept on posting here until he died... he knew it was coming... he was going to die and he couldn't stop it.

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Can someone tell me who is Clint? Did he die of a terminal illness or something?

Sorry to hear that - good luck.

all the best to you and those affected by the loss Tonk, may you all find strength in togetherness and use it to get through this difficult time...life goes on and so will you

My condolences TonK. :crying: I lost a best friend last fall.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by C.A.R25

Can someone tell me who is Clint? Did he die of a terminal illness or something?

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http://www.lifefrombeyond.com/

Dude I'm really sorry this had to happen... I didn't know he had a kid. :(

Thanks for the kind words...

i'm sorry to hear about it man.
i'm sorry for yours and his families loss.

I know how you feel Tonk, my dad commit suicide a year and a hlaf ago. He didn't try to call anyone... he just quietly ended his life.

I don't know how to make any sense out of this type of situation... you just have to try and work past it. It’s not going to be quick, and it is going to be hard. Fuck… I haven’t even come to terms with really dealing with my dad being gone yet. I don’t know if it’s something that really ever leaves you. Just hang in there man.

Best of luck to you Tonk... we are all here for ya'.


Criterionradiohead ;)

Yeah, TonK can identify with a few people on this site. People like myself with disorders that just get in the way. Suicide is the worst sin and also the most selfish.

http://perso.wanadoo.fr/lafetealamai...20team%205.jpg

GROUP HUG....

Seriously, I'm sorry for your loss...

If you still feel down in the dumps 10 days from now, maybe you should see a greif councilor

This makes all teh drama seem so insignificant, doesn't it?

My condolences, man. Hope you get through this well.

Sorry to hear about your loss Tonk, if it means anything to you time is always a great healer, ive dealt with 5 suicides in my police career up to now, with 3 of them i discovered them after it had happened and had to inform the relatives in person and try to help them deal with the aftermath which was quite difficult for me as well as them.
But they all learned to accept it and they all came through it in the end, if not with understanding than at least with acceptance that it happened and that there was nothing they could do to change it.

We haven't always gotten along man, but my heart goes out to ya.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lord Wolfgang Krauser

Yeah, TonK can identify with a few people on this site. People like myself with disorders that just get in the way. Suicide is the worst sin and also the most selfish.

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absolutley, positively AGREED...myself being asperger's syndrome (high-functioning autism with a large anxiety component)...even i know, suicide is NEVER the answer...my mom said it best to me..."always keep hope going" (i was hoping she would say "keep hope alive"....i listen to too much Crystal Method...hehe)

anyways, my absolute condolences.

Hard stuff just keep it cool and always remember

My condolences go out to you , his family and his other friends. Stay strong man.

Sorry about the loss man.

Thing is, to me suicide seems like the easy way out. Having to LIVE is much harder than pulling the trigger, popping the pills or swallowing the pills. I especially love the people who almost go through with it, shoot off their left tit or something and call 911 screaming for help. You wouldn't have needed help if you wouldn't have SHOT yourself in the first place.

I have a lot of ignorant things to say about people who commit suicide, but out of respect for the Tonkster, I'll leave it as the above.

Hope you get through it.

Sorry you had to go through with that and i hope things look up soon. My life isn't exactly a winter wonderland either. Times get tough but you roll with it :)

write a peom about it

Sorry buddy. :crying:

Sorry to hear that man :(

Sorry this happened Tonk. I actually had a friend who committed suicide about ten years ago, and I don't think I've ever been the same. The ironic thing is that he actually helped me through a very difficult period of my life, and I knew that had it not been for him, I may have been the one lying there lifeless.

I know it's difficult, but please don't look at this as an act of selfishness. We all have thresholds, and they're not always at the same level. Just try to remember the good times you guys spent together.

stay strong man. it is kind of weird how we are a sort of family yet we may never meet. I can only imagine how you must be feeling.

Man if all else fails seek professional help. There is no shame in seeing a psychiatrist.

That's a lot to deal with TonK, for anyone. You should definitely seek someone professional to talk to, those people exist for a reason. It can be tough as hell to adopt new ways of thinking constructively, and some people just find themselves stuck in really horrible, self-destructive loops that they can only see one way out of.

They say religion is for people who fear hell, while spirituality is for people who have been there. Sometimes it really is important to just try and appreciate what you've got.

It's my opinion that a person has the right to take their own life should they choose to do so.

Although, exercising that right if you have a wife and family is pretty fucked up

Life can do that to you. The world is a scary place today, and there are things, sin, and evil alike, that tempt our demise everyday. We need to be strong those, and we need to remember that the best place we can be, the only way to be, is life, and to live. Then at least, there is hope, and there is peaceful resolve with oneself through oneness, or great friends. Please friends, enjoy life while you can. God bless, and may you all find happiness. Life is so short, too short to worry, and to not enjoy.

Life is wierd that way. Everyone has a lot to live for and it would be great if more people would be open with their problems. I am proud to be part of this community and the friends I made here. And I always enjoy your posts Tonk. Take care of yourself and keep your chin up.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TonK

It seems that you guys can listen to anything I have to say, so I'll spill it here.

Today was one of the hardest days in my life, seeing my friend get buried.

There were 100's of people at his funeral, and he could have talked to just one of them before he pulled the trigger...

He is gone now, not coming back, no baseball this season, no football, no sports of any kind, no more seeing his son, no more seeing his mom or dad, his brother or sisters, the sky, grass, spring, seasons, me.

Why couldn't he of just gone to bed Saturday night... we all go through some rough shit in our lives,,,

Clint was strong, he kept on posting here until he died... he knew it was coming... he was going to die and he couldn't stop it.

Its very selfish for anyone to take their own lives, especially when so many people care about you.

I've been in worse situations.

Way worse.

There were times I thought I was going to die...

There were times I wanted to die...

I and all of you have so much to live for...

I'm happy I've been a part of this community for so long and sincerely apologize to all that I have hurt over the years here, and for my rude and obnoxious behavior...

I love you guys, even though I don't know any of you.

God Bless all of you, and be strong in the toughest of times.

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Great post.

I'm with you here. I've experienced myself most of what you talk about (premature death of a close friend, close-death situation, hospitalizating, bad moments with almost death desires, etc) and I reallyt have nothim more to add to your words.

Best wishes to you, your family, and may your friend rest in peace.

Love you too TonK.

Oh TonK, I am soo sorry I know what it is like to see a friend be buried, I know what you are going through. You keep your head up and if you ever need me ill be here. *Big Hug* I know that doesnt help much and I wish I was there in person to do it. Stay strong :crying:

TonK,
That sounds like A "good bye" post.
Do us all A favour & make A post here everyday, even if it's just to vent...Just to let us know your ok.
Now...To hopefully lighten the mood just A little bit,
http://www.geocities.com/shiro128c@s...kittenpile.jpg

RIP to your homie

i had my cousin killed about a year ago and i know exactly what you're going through...hundreds of people at the funeral..and realizing..you're part of it..its scary...but life does goes on...even if its the hard way..Its ok to cry...we're only human...

RIP for all the dead homies and soliders

Stay strong Tonk as invest more time w/ those around you..esp. your older relatives because you'll regret not having done so when there gone. :(

Tonkadonkdonk... This is probably burning a hole inside of you now. this was just a kid, someone's kid, and its beyond comprehension. but his child needs the ones who knew his father to look out for him, and tell him about his father. be there for him during his life.
be strong man. you have it in you.

TonK, sorry about your loss.

Mourn, but do not dwell. It sounds like your friend meant alot to you and I'm sure he doesn't want you to lament his death.

Don't place any blame on yourself, don't try to find out why he killed himself, just remember him for the great guy he was.

May god be with you

Condolences man.

I don't claim to know you and I didn't know clint either but a big loss is a big loss, keep your chin up, stay positive and you'll be ok.

sorry man

Tonk, again sorry for the loss of your friend and you can rest assure now that he's in god kingdom now. But anyway sorry for the loss of your beloved friend and I wish the best of luck and comfort for his family.

Yeah, shit does get rough out here, but we can make it through somehow someway. You'd be surprised what the human spirit can achieve. Condolances all the same, TonK.

I appreciate the sympathy