Movie opinions thread (what have you seen, what did you think?)

[jro]

Been hittin' up the subtitles lately, going through a handful of re-watches of movies I mostly only have on DVD (generally 2010-ish era that were either too indy or foreign to receive a mainstream BD):

SPL and SPL 2 (oddly, I have the first on on BD but the second one from a decade later on DVD) - just a few general comments to cover both - the first one is still a classic. The cops vs. gangsters storyline holds up, Jing Wu and Sammo Hung are great bad guys, Yen was a terrible actor at this point in time but a very good martial artist and choreographer. Sequel is a lot different, mostly for the worse IMO. Jaa and Wu are well-cast as the leads and can nail any action scene, but there's so damn few action scenes, like WTF. Pacing is not good, it's genuinely boring a lot of the time. The story is initially interesting but then it just gets silly. Action's still good but there's like three fight scenes in 120 minutes.

7 Days - French Canadian drama/torture porn, i.e. a doctor manages to kidnap the man who is the only suspect in the rape and murder of the former's daughter and then proceeds to spend one week making the guy suffer. Not really all that good, the message is more boring and blunt than I remembered, but the ending manages to redeem much of it.

 

[100proof]

Legend (1985) - Oh right... this fucking movie. The wife had never seen it and I hadn't seen it in probably 30 years so it was practically fresh for me. I just remembered it being a middling fantasy movie and that Tim Curry put his fucking nuts on the table and chewed all of the scenery ever.

A beautiful girl/princess/avatar of good living in cinema's most boring fantasy world lives a simple life and loves a woodland creature dressed like Peter Pan (Tom Cruise) who brings her to a secret section of the woods where unicorns live. For some reason, she wants to touch a unicorn which she's apparently not supposed to do because they are the protectors of light and magic (?). What I assume are goblins that work for a very Christian-y devil creature follow them and shoot one of the unicorns with a poison dart/arrow and cut off its horn. This apparently makes it snow and the world is immediately shit. However, because there is still another living unicorn... jesus fuck, this shit is both the most vague, undercooked fantasy nonsense ever but somehow incredibly convoluted at the same time.

So yeah, Ridley Scott made the most milquetoast, paper-thin mid-80s fantasy movie (complete with Tangerine Dream soundtrack and Billy Barty playing a woodland creature) but then some psycho let Rob Bottin do the fx makeup so everything has this sweaty sheen to it and all the creatures are like 50% more gross and weird than they would be otherwise. The devil makeup and prosthetics for Tim Curry are spectacular (though I'm sure it was nightmarish to work/live in) and it has a visual flair that elevates it but the rest of the movie is the most generic pablum possible. Tom Cruise is awful... just no range whatsoever and a shit hero who displays the same 3 facial expressions (surprise, psychotic smile, gritted determination) here that he does in Mission Impossible movies forty years later. Mia Sara is adorable but has nothing to do. The comic relief dwarves aren't funny or a relief. Even Tim Curry is sadly underused and his lines are the most generic Saturday morning cartoon villain shit ever. Coming out of that awesome looking character with Tim Curry's booming, sneering voice, it's so disappointing.

I know there's a Director's Cut out there which fills in some of the gaps and has a more traditional score but it's my understanding that it doesn't really save it. Anyway, I still prefer Labyrinth. And probably Willow. It's too weird and ethereal to be a fun movie for kids and it's too skullfuckingly simple for a grown adult.

 

[fake]

Just to clarify you did catch that Emma Roberts is in a completely separate future timeline than anything happening at the school?

Yes, *but* I am faceblind and thought they were the same actress. So, I thought they were the same character right away.

 

[terry.330]

Yes, *but* I am faceblind and thought they were the same actress. So, I thought they were the same character right away.

I guess you were just expecting something other than what the movie delivered. Shrug. I think it's pretty satisfying even with all the ambiguity.

 

[SouthtownKid]

Legend (1985) - Oh right... this fucking movie. The wife had never seen it and I hadn't seen it in probably 30 years so it was practically fresh for me. I just remembered it being a middling fantasy movie and that Tim Curry put his fucking nuts on the table and chewed all of the scenery ever.

A beautiful girl/princess/avatar of good living in cinema's most boring fantasy world lives a simple life and loves a woodland creature dressed like Peter Pan (Tom Cruise) who brings her to a secret section of the woods where unicorns live. For some reason, she wants to touch a unicorn which she's apparently not supposed to do because they are the protectors of light and magic (?). What I assume are goblins that work for a very Christian-y devil creature follow them and shoot one of the unicorns with a poison dart/arrow and cut off its horn. This apparently makes it snow and the world is immediately shit. However, because there is still another living unicorn... jesus fuck, this shit is both the most vague, undercooked fantasy nonsense ever but somehow incredibly convoluted at the same time.

So yeah, Ridley Scott made the most milquetoast, paper-thin mid-80s fantasy movie (complete with Tangerine Dream soundtrack and Billy Barty playing a woodland creature) but then some psycho let Rob Bottin do the fx makeup so everything has this sweaty sheen to it and all the creatures are like 50% more gross and weird than they would be otherwise. The devil makeup and prosthetics for Tim Curry are spectacular (though I'm sure it was nightmarish to work/live in) and it has a visual flair that elevates it but the rest of the movie is the most generic pablum possible. Tom Cruise is awful... just no range whatsoever and a shit hero who displays the same 3 facial expressions (surprise, psychotic smile, gritted determination) here that he does in Mission Impossible movies forty years later. Mia Sara is adorable but has nothing to do. The comic relief dwarves aren't funny or a relief. Even Tim Curry is sadly underused and his lines are the most generic Saturday morning cartoon villain shit ever. Coming out of that awesome looking character with Tim Curry's booming, sneering voice, it's so disappointing.

I know there's a Director's Cut out there which fills in some of the gaps and has a more traditional score but it's my understanding that it doesn't really save it. Anyway, I still prefer Labyrinth. And probably Willow. It's too weird and ethereal to be a fun movie for kids and it's too skullfuckingly simple for a grown adult.

Neither me nor the wife had ever seen it, so we gave it a shot a year or two ago, but only made it about 5 minutes in. As soon as Tom Cruise started singing, we both said, oh fuck no, and shut it off.

 

[SNKNostalgia]

 

[SNKNostalgia]

Aheem...

 

[Average Joe]

Liverleaf

Live action adaptation of a manga I've heard of but never read. This is a pretty wild one and definitely looks/feels like a manga come to life since it is all so extreme. It starts off as kind of a drama with very uncomfortable scenes of intense bullying and just goes pure Battle Royale level bonkers on the gore. It's all very over-the-top, but the bullying stuff is honestly kind of fucked and reminded me a lot of the I Spit on Your Grave remake in terms of making me uncomfortable.

 

[terry.330]

The Devil Rides Out- Hammer film from 1968 starring Christopher Lee. Lee plays a duke who checks in on his dead friend's son only to find the son has been lured into a static cult involving high society. He rescues the son and a young woman from the cult and incurs the leader wrath. This one is pretty hokey, all the black mass and occult stuff is fun but very goofy. The effects are a little too ambitious and a couple shots are downright embarrassing even for the time. It's also not as visually striking as a lot of other Hammer films, it's lacking that gothic setting that so many of their movies are known for. Also no babes running around in sheer nightgowns or lesbian vampires. But the idea of the uber wealthy conducting secret rituals and communing with satan is always pretty entertaining and this managed to keep my attention.

 

[prof]

Yes, Ridley Scott's Legend is just about the worst thing ever.

 

[terry.330]

Top Secret!- Been a while since I'd seen this, used to watch it all the time growing up. I think it's a little underrated, it came out when Zucker/Abrahams were at their peak but this one rarely gets brought up. It holds up pretty well aside from a couple dated references like the Pinto and Publishers Clearing House. I forgot how elaborate some of the gags are and it's easy to miss things because there's just so many gags, sometimes multiple at the same time. I can't say it's deserves to be a certified classic like Airplane but it's definitely funny as hell and creative, also unfortunately a reminder to just how much comedy movies have fallen off.

 

[100proof]

Yeah, that whole Blue Lagoon scene/in-joke is going to go over the heads of pretty much anyone under 40. Top Secret's great though. One of the wiife's favorite movies.

 

[HornheaDD]

Legend

Loved this movie as a kid. Wife hadn't watched it since middle school so I downloaded it and we watched it several months ago. I know I snipped your entire review, but rest assured I agree with it entirely.

I remember the fairy girl looked a lot like a girl I knew as a teenager and wanted to bang her. But watching it a few months ago, A. she looks nothing like my friend, and 2. gross.

I did like Tim Curry tho, dude is just awesome.

 

[Syn]

The Iron Claw

The casting of Kerry & Mike was odd. Mike just being omitted, why? I'm too familiar with the story to appreciate their attempt. So much so I can't look at it objectively enough to say whether it's good or bad. Yes it tells a story but to someone who doesn't watch wrestling I don't know that they would enjoy it.

 

[dspoonrt]

I saw The Iron Claw in theaters with a half dozen high school buddies who were in town for the holidays, most of which weren't wrestling fans. We all loved it. Then, I saw it again with my wife who is definitely not a wrestling fan, and she loved it. It's well-crafted and heartbreaking.

The ensemble cast isn't perfect, but Zac Efron really steps up to the plate and Holt McCallany, Jeremy Allen White, and Maura Tierney put in good performances, too. I dug a lot of the vintage wrestling references, even though the casting is difficult to pull off for those larger than life characters.

It probably works better as a study of human tragedy than it does as a movie about pro wrestling. All in all, I really enjoyed it, and I thought it got unjustly snubbed during awards season.

 

[terry.330]

Stephen King's Sleepwalkers- Incest, cats, a corn cob, Ron Perlman and more cats. A cocaine fever dream in movie form. I know they were green lighting anything with King's name on it at the time but fucking hell. On one hand it's so bizarre and stupid it kind of interesting but then it also completely fails at whatever the hell it's trying to do. Wild shifts in tone, bizarre casting, terrible dialogue and a ton of nonsensical bullshit. Also it's so damn bright and sunny that it really works against any of the horror or dark psychological stuff. Everything feels wrong. It's mind-blowing this got made, totally a product of it's time.

On the plus side Madchen Amick is absolutely adorable, the woman that plays the mother is legitimately creepy and there are some fun cameos.

 

[LoneSage]

The madlad actually did it, he honored the LoneSage Review Request (LSRR)

 

[Hot Chocolate]

Poolman
-I'm sure Chris Pine is a very wonderful human being but after seeing this movie I hope he can fight because this is a pos.

The Roundup: Punishment
- I haven't seen the previous three movies but this was a one night showing and it stars Don Lee so that was enough for me, definitely a one man lethal weapon type movie except wit the South Korean mob and crypto bros with the Philippines as an unwilling patsy.

Mars Express
-a great animated cyberpunk noir for folks who like Blade Runner and or Ghost In The Shell

Spider-Man 3
-was there a reason for them making Mary Jane the fourth villain in this movie? Doesn't matter as Topher Grace as Venom was the only reason I watched this and took part in the theatrical re-release for all the Spider movies which leads too

Amazing Spider-Man
-I haven't seen this since the year it came out and I completely forgot the chokehold the Ultimate Comics had on this and damn near the entirety of Phase 1 of the MCU

 

[famicommander]

Saw Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes today.

It was good. I'd say about on par with Rise of the Planet of the Apes, maybe a shade below it. Not quite as good as Dawn or Rise, but a very good 4th entry in the series. It does very much feel like a part one of a new trilogy.

 

[LoneSage]

Amazon Women on the Moon - as a kid I remember seeing the VHS of this every time I visited Adventureland Video and always wondering but never renting it. Fast forward 10 years to the mid-2000s and this came on when I was a teenager around midnight, 1AM and I thought it was amazing. Fast forward 20 years later to now and I'm a little bummed it's not as amazing as I thought it was when I was a late teen. I still think it's pretty good, I really enjoy the cast and the idea behind it (did this in any way inspire Rick and Morty's interdimensional cable?) and my whole life I've always liked anthology movies. Despite all the jawdropping nudity (I'm not some faggot who knows naked women but wow Monique Gabrielle is really something in this), I guess the problem is the movie doesn't push the envelope enough. Unfortunately it feels kinda half-baked. Reading reviews it seems everyone has a different opinion on which segment is the best, which is interesting.

All in all, I enjoyed it, but it just doesn't hit the same as it did when I was 18-ish watching this after midnight on Cinemax or HBO or whatever. That was definitely the ideal way to watch the movie, anyway.

Bonus naked titty screenshot of Monique Gabrielle, NSFW:

Spoiler:

 

[Burning Fight!!]

redact

 

[Tarma]

Major League - re-watched this for the first time in a while. Still incredibly charming, and funny, with a great cast. Typical underdog style story for those not familiar with this baseball classic from '89. First major film to feature Wesley Snipes, and he has some really funny scenes, shame he didn't do more comedy before being locked up for tax evasion. Charlie Sheen and Tom Berenger are both awesome, and the direction from David S Ward is spot on. If you're a baseball fan (and I'm not), you'll love this film.

 

[terry.330]

(I'm not some faggot who knows naked women but wow Monique Gabrielle is really something in this)

Bonus naked titty screenshot of Monique Gabrielle, NSFW:

Spoiler:

View attachment 74209

Monique Gabrielle is awesome, watch Evil Toons and Deathstalker 2.

 

[HornheaDD]

Major League - re-watched this for the first time in a while. Still incredibly charming, and funny, with a great cast. Typical underdog style story for those not familiar with this baseball classic from '89. First major film to feature Wesley Snipes, and he has some really funny scenes, shame he didn't do more comedy before being locked up for tax evasion. Charlie Sheen and Tom Berenger are both awesome, and the direction from David S Ward is spot on. If you're a baseball fan (and I'm not), you'll love this film.

"You tryin' tell me Jesus Christ cant hit a curveball?" is probably my favorite line in that flick.

 

[terry.330]

Being from Ohio Major League was huge here when I was growing up. It's one of the last good sports comedies and one of the few sports movies you can enjoy if you're not a sports fan. Amazing cast, probably one of my favorite Coben Bernsen roles.

The sequels not so much.