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Seikon

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I've come accross a somewhat important issue.

I've never really believed in "God" or bought into what I was taught, dispite attending Catholic school for some 12 years.

Now that I've discovered Buddhism and really feel drawn to it, I want to move foward with it, but I find myself unable to because of my Mother.

I've tried being as simple and easy with it as possible. I've tried printing out some things about Buddhism, some common questions and answers type of things, and even tried talking to her about it 1 on 1, but nothing has worked. She's even gone so far as to say that "turning my back on God" is the single biggest dissapointment she's ever experienced with me.

I, however, think she should be proud of me... That I have the intelligence and foward thinking enlightment to see past what has been fed to me and find something I personally believe in and find to be ultimately enlightening.

Anyways, I'm out of ideas of how to break this to her or make her understand.. or even just accept it.

I'd appreciate any help or suggestions, however, I don't want this thread turning into a religious debate. I've found what makes me happy, and satisfies me, now I just want to move foward with it and help my family to accept and understand it.

*Note: Anyone wondering why I would post this here, the reason is simple. I've found quite a few posters here to be over-all intelligent people, and so I respect and admire that quality in those people.
 
SonGohan

SonGohan

Made of Wood
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Your mother is ignorant. There's only one way to solve that, and that's enlighten her. Regardless if she agrees with it or not, she'll have to come to terms with it. I know what you're going through because a few years ago I told my mother that I considered myself agnostic, and she almost broke down telling me that's not how she raised me, etc etc etc. It's best to keep it to yourself, or at least not make a big deal of it. In time she'll see it's not a phase (if it isn't), and will respect your decision. Hopefully.
 
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Shinji

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What school are you most interested in? (Theravada or Mahayana?).

I think you really don't have much power to do anything, or to change her mind. Hopefully she will be open minded enough to find out a little about buddhism, and then can understand it isn't a bad thing for you.

Good luck with your practice :)
 
galfordo

galfordo

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Personally, I'm not really sure what to believe in at this point, and I'm kind of old to be so indecisive religiously. When I'm visiting my parents, my mom will occasionally bring it up, and can be a bit of a nuisance about it at times, but she never really expresses disappointment in me about it, and usually sees it as a minor difference of opinion. If I were worshipping the devil, or something sort of off-the-wall like that, she'd probably be a little more judgemental, but as it stands I think she's just content to know that I'm fairly well-adjusted and am doing ok.

I think it's a bit judgemental to say that you're disappointed in someone because they don't believe in what you believe - I'd say your mom was probably wrong to do that. Just try to explain to her that it's nothing personal, and it just happens to be what you believe in .... and if she can't deal with that - well, I'd just find something else to talk about. Besides, the time you spend with your family is too precious to be wasted on things like religious and/or political discussions.
 
Nesagwa

Nesagwa

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Seikon said:
I've come accross a somewhat important issue.

I've never really believed in "God" or bought into what I was taught, dispite attending Catholic school for some 12 years.

Now that I've discovered Buddhism and really feel drawn to it, I want to move foward with it, but I find myself unable to because of my Mother.

I've tried being as simple and easy with it as possible. I've tried printing out some things about Buddhism, some common questions and answers type of things, and even tried talking to her about it 1 on 1, but nothing has worked. She's even gone so far as to say that "turning my back on God" is the single biggest dissapointment she's ever experienced with me.

I, however, think she should be proud of me... That I have the intelligence and foward thinking enlightment to see past what has been fed to me and find something I personally believe in and find to be ultimately enlightening.

Anyways, I'm out of ideas of how to break this to her or make her understand.. or even just accept it.

I'd appreciate any help or suggestions, however, I don't want this thread turning into a religious debate. I've found what makes me happy, and satisfies me, now I just want to move foward with it and help my family to accept and understand it.

*Note: Anyone wondering why I would post this here, the reason is simple. I've found quite a few posters here to be over-all intelligent people, and so I respect and admire that quality in those people.
Click to expand...

Do what I do. Dont talk about religion at all with your parents. Ever. And if they do, keep it strictly Bibly (heh).
 
tsukaesugi

tsukaesugi

Holy shit, it's a ninja!,
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Buddhism (especially North American Buddhism, which is more of a philosophy than a religion) and Christianity are not irreconcilable.

A Buddhist doesn't have to stop believing in 'God', in fact here in Japan Buddhism and Shinto exist side by side.

It sounds like you stopped believing in God (or at least the Christian God) before you discovered Buddhism anyway.

Tell your mom you don't believe in God because you don't believe in God, and that Buddhism doesn't have anything to do with it.

SonGohan said:
It's best to keep it to yourself, or at least not make a big deal of it.
Click to expand...

This is also good advice. Your mother has her own beliefs, and unfortunately it doesn't seem like she's prepared to accept / understand Buddhism. To her it's a competing religion.

Telling your mother that you a) stopped believing in God, and b) have taken up another 'religion' is a double whammy.

By all means, continue practicing Buddhism, but like Gohan said, keep it to yourself, and don't make it seem like you gave up God for Buddha
 
S

Seikon

Cheng's Errand Boy
Joined
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Posts
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Shinji said:
What school are you most interested in? (Theravada or Mahayana?).

I think you really don't have much power to do anything, or to change her mind. Hopefully she will be open minded enough to find out a little about buddhism, and then can understand it isn't a bad thing for you.

Good luck with your practice :)
Click to expand...

I'm not sure which to be honest.

I've extensivley looked into both and seeing as though Mahayana is basically geared to more of "group benefit" I don't see how I could chose Theravada or adhearing moreso to "self benefit".

I suppose I'll continue learning more about each though untill I find that I'm satisfied with my decision completely.

Any input on that would aslo be appreciated. :spock:

Of course I realize I'm still somewhat ignorant, and I know only from what I've personally read and interpreted. I suppose my best bet is finding first hand experience and advice.

I'm not pretending to know fully what I'm talking about, I just know enough to understand that Buddhism is right for me.
 
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S

Shinji

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I picked (or, am more interested in, might be better to say that) Theravada, because I have trouble believing the stuff that happens later in Mahayana (more like straight belief/semi-mystical from what I understand.) but I mean, they say if you can follow some of the sects like Pure Land without doubt, you have really really good karma.

Theravada was appealing to me because it was sort of "clean" as in it didn't have all the other suttas and sects. Also, the Pali Canon is sort of an anchor you can depend on, because it is the Buddha's teachings (if you want to believe that, I do.)

If you want more information of Theravada buddhism, check out this website (and if you get more into it later, you might want to put the money down to buy some of the Canon) - http://www.accesstoinsight.org/

Enjoy :)

Just read the last part you added, yeah, i'm just getting into buddhism too, i've been reading up a lot, but I still haven't taken refuge. I'm hoping to start practicing at a meditation group(Theravada style - dhamma talks too) soon.

Good luck with your practice.
 
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TheLizardKing

TheLizardKing

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How do the Buddhists percieve Buddha anyway. Do they consider him a deity? I thought he is someone who Buddhists looked to because he achieved Enlightenment by following the 8 fold path and finally reaching the state of nirvana after 108 body positions. Or do they say he is a god because he achieved nirvana? Guess I wasn't too clear about that.

LEGEND OF THE LIZARD KING
 
I

Ill6

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Isn't Buddism (not have stuff) and Neo Geo (having very expensive stuff) kinda incompatible.

Explain my philosophy to your mom (in my sig) everything is alot simpler once you accept that.
 
S

Seikon

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Posts
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TheLizardKing said:
How do the Buddhists percieve Buddha anyway. Do they consider him a deity? I thought he is someone who Buddhists looked to because he achieved Enlightenment by following the 8 fold path and finally reaching the state of nirvana after 108 body positions. Or do they say he is a god because he achieved nirvana? Guess I wasn't too clear about that.

LEGEND OF THE LIZARD KING
Click to expand...

The Buddah himself specificly said he was not a god nor divine.
 
Nesagwa

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Ill6 said:
Isn't Buddism (not have stuff) and Neo Geo (having very expensive stuff) kinda incompatible.

Explain my philosophy to your mom (in my sig) everything is alot simpler once you accept that.
Click to expand...

No. You can have stuff (even alot of stuff), you shouldnt put any emotional attatchment to it though, so if you lose it, its as if you never had it.
 
J

jethrek

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As strange as it may be, no Christian should go without checking out the Budhist teachings anyway. There are striking similarities between Buddhjism and Christianity, just as there are between Siddhartha and Christ.
 
I

Ill6

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Nesagwa said:
No. You can have stuff (even alot of stuff), you shouldnt put any emotional attatchment to it though, so if you lose it, its as if you never had it.
Click to expand...

In a somewhat ironic way does posting this question on a message board dedicated to Neo Geo indicate some kind of emotional attachment to Neo Geo?

I don't mean this in a disrespectful way because I think this sort of thing enriches the forum but maybe you should ask this on the relevant religious forums.
 
Buro Destruct

Buro Destruct

Formerly known as, Buro Destruct, , Southtown Stre
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Ignore your mother, let her continue to practice Christianity and keep her mind closed to the beliefs of other people around her. Maybe one day you can tell her how those two activities are supposed to be mutually exclusive. You don't see Taoists, Buddhists, or Athiests insulting somebody because they're not of the same faith.

Ridiculous, really.
 
Sundance

Sundance

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You need to give your mother some time. Time changes everything and parents and grandparents need more time than younger people like ourselves. She'll come around. Also something else to consider: you don't have to fully immerse yourself in a religion or a belief of religion. You can be spiritual w/o being religious. I believe in some of the truths of Buddism...more so than any other religion though i don't attend the buddist temple. You can lead a better life by following certain beliefs but you don't have to become a christian, catholic or buddist to do so. Im not religious but i do have some GOOD IDEAS. Good luck on your path to enlightenment and remember that noone or no thing changes immediately...time is the key.
 
No Means Yes

No Means Yes

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I'd rather go to Hell so I can hang out with strippers, smoke weed, and meet all of my favorite dead comedians.
 
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