I lost 50 pounds in 2 months -- ask me how!

Now this may not be the safest method but I guarantee it'll work like a charm.
All you gotta do is starve yourself. You may eat and drink but you always have to be left with that "I'm still hungry" feeling.

In about 2 month's time, you will notice you are significantly thinner, well voila, you have just lost like 50 lbs.

Now, you may once again start eating as much as you want again, but you probably won't get fat again since your stomach must have shrunk down in size and capacity.

If you are left with a "flacid" stomach, well just start doing minimum 50 pushups a day before going to sleep, and you'll gain strong abs in no time. If you have "tits" well, start doing some chest exercises. And if you still wanna look even better, actually "go outside" of your house, go to a local middle school and "run" in the track, play "basketball", whatever.

Very soon, you'll finally start having chicks talk to you. I guarantee it.
They'll be like "Wow, when did you get so sexy?"

If for some reason, you can't allow yourself to stop eating like a pig, well sorry to say, but you are destined to be a fat fuck for the rest of your life, unless you get surgery or something of course.

Well that's it, you've been revealed the secret technique as to how to lose weight.
I'm just glad I could help the neo community.

I'll be on my way now.

I hear AIDS works too.


(Just a rumor though.)

Yea, and cancer, but not sure either.

why starve yourself when you can just eat and throw it up?

I hear Flesh Eating Disease is the new fad, try it.

If I lost 50 lbs I'd be in trouble.

abdul said:

why starve yourself when you can just eat and throw it up?

Click to expand...

Why waste the food?

I lost 50 pounds in 2 months by taking my fiber and going #2 at least once a day.

Yeah starve your self and let your body also consume your muscle as well as fat.

I always stop eating when I still feel hungry.

dashk said:

worst. parody. evar.

Click to expand...

yes

The crack diet pwnz me

Just substitute two meals a day for the crack pipe and you'll trim up in no time.

What really matters is how you look and feel and how healthy you really are. I weigh quite a bit, but it's mostly muscle. I look very fit. I run 5k races.

Jedah Doma said:

Yea, and cancer, but not sure either.

Click to expand...

Actually it's the kemo-theropy that does that rather then the cancer. You could simply bypass wishing for cancer and simply douse yourself in controlled dosages of radiation. Side affects include a lose of hair, nausia, vomitting, the lose of the ability to produce saliva, and possible superhero abilities.

On the other hand, minimizing your intake of food isn't bad at all. It's the same as having your stomach stapled shut (only controlled by yourself). When he talks about starving yourself, it's something like that. Not actually starving yourself. At least that's what I hope he means. This way your body gets enough food to take care of itself, the hungry feeling is more a mental thing or the result of a stretched out stomach. If you know what you need to eat and can plan it out and all that it can work well for some people. If someone was to actually starve themselves, 2 months would easily become 2 weeks.

FlashGordon said:

The crack diet pwnz me

Just substitute two meals a day for the crack pipe and you'll trim up in no time.

Click to expand...

Yeah when you spend all your money on crack there's nothing left for food. Its the best diet out there.

If you want to lose weight, just excercise, eat healthy and have some sex every now and then.

Americans...

Seriously now, starving yourself is the worst thing you can do. You'll lose muscle, you'll lose fat from places where you don't want to and once you start eating again, your body will store as much fat as possible, since it's gotten 'afraid' that every meal may be the last one for that week.

Just get some excercise, especially if you have an hour per day to invest, you'll be happy that you did.

But... I hope you'll be able to keep those 50 pounds away !