Steve,
I respect you and I want you to be happy, but I read a few things that made me a little nervous. So please permit me to play devil's advocate (basically I'm comparing how I would react to the way you have, so bear with me):
Steve said:
she broke up with her BF. He dumped her after she got drunk and fooled around with her ex. So she IM'ed me that night telling me all about it.
Okay, this is a major "
" for me. If it were me she would've gone from "potential g/f" to "potential fucktoy" in about 1 second.
Considering she told you this as an online friend, well, it makes it even more weird. Who does she confide in? Can she be totally trusted? What does this relationship mean to her?
Steve said:
Had our "FIRST REAL" meeting 2/28, where I went to her place to hang out. Dinner and 2 movies.
1st sleepover 3/9.
We became "brother and sister" soon.
Its really hard to
completely break through that friend-zone if there's been a lot of time in the middle.
Generally, my best relationships (and all my relationships in College onwards) worked when the two of us just had, well, lust for each other. Similar interest? Secondary. "Buddy-Buddy" Friendship? Secondary (but a very high second. However, as my dad would say, "you're not looking for a friend"). About the only factor that I even worry about is whether the other person is a balanced and sane person -since, if they do click on the lust side, the passion that results can go either really good or really
bad depending on the personality of the other person.
I dunno, I would keep a close tab on how she feels for you. If, in a few months, she isn't starting to totally fall for you (telling you stuff like "You're everything to me", "My life feels complete", etc) and actually meaning it... I'd worry and maybe look for an exit strategy since you probably haven't left the friendzone (thus the relationship is just putt-putting along, waiting to die in some upsetting fashion).
Look for whether or not she really wants you. I mean
really wants you. you should be able to know it when you see it. If there isn't any passion burning in that kitchen you may best look elsewhere.
Steve said:
Last Saturday after we got outta work at 9, she was suppose to watch 13 GOING ON 30 with her potential BF. But he got sick. Her 2nd option was her other potential BF, but he had obligations. So she took me.
Being a 3rd choice is fine when you're talking about what movie to watch, but when its her "potential boyfriend" list, I'd be
very WTF. Maybe its just me, maybe I'm a bit aggressive/egotistical when it comes to this stuff; but I don't like having to worry about any competition, let alone being
lower in the pecking order. The girl's the one that's being flattered by me, not the other way around (in an ideal world, it would be basically "even" between the two). If I get even a hint of the other person thinks their superior, they're history. You should be the same -its mentally healthy.
Then again, I don't know the entire backstory to this, I'm just going on what I'm reading.
Steve said:
We watched it, great flick, went back to her place where I slept over, and we ended up kissing.
Again, maybe its me, but unless we're talking some unbelievable religious person (or very valid reason); I can't see myself only getting to a kiss. If by "slept over" you mean you to lightly touched and basically crashed back into brother-sister mode... well you'd better see that things change into boyfriend-girlfriend very soon. Be aggressive. You're the male. (I can't believe I'm writing this stuff) - just don't be an asshole. Steve, she should be thanking god that you're her love machine. If she's religious, it just means she needs to gain your trust first (so things take a little longer) -but since you were her friend before this shouldn't be too bad.
Good luck, but please think of this stuff.
.
