In the spirit of Blaine vs Briggs: Arcade Showdown Chicago I present you with a play by play summary of our first meeting.
Rev and I are both in town on business. We exchanged cellphone numbers and scheduled a meet up. Prior to this, I had already been given the skinny earlier in the day that there was a Dave and Busters off of I-25 (which is where my hotel was near). Interestingly enough, Rev was at the hotel up the street, only a block away and a couple blocks in.
So I called him and picked him up. We started by going to Tokyo Joe's; A great little Japanese Fast Food-ery. I ate there every day I was in Denver. Simple bowls, meat and rice with sauce (I really liked the Oyako sauce with steak). Where we decided we'd go to Dave and Busters (I had steak/Oyako. Rev had steak/Sweet-Aki. We both had a cup of Miso soup).*
Well, as I had the car I did the driving. We were looking for Colorado Blvd. For the record, Colorado has some fucked up roads. More so than normal (for example there are TWO 100%, completely and totally different in every way shape in form, different as in different. Not connected...two roads called "South Yosemite" within 2 fucking miles of each other. Seriously. The direction signs on DTC read at one intersection 'South Yosemite' with an arrow pointed south. ANOTHER interesection has 'South Yosemite' with an arrow pointed east. Idiotic. Get a new fucking name, denver. How about Ed McAffree Lane?). Around exit 220 on I-25 I called Dave and Busters via 411. Which is cheap. The bitch goes 'please hold' and hangs up on me. So I have to call 411 AGAIN and ask where they are. She doesn't know. Asks another dude and he's like "yeah, we're right off of exit 204. Right now Rev. is pissed. But niether one of us saw a sign.
We head back and sure enough there's a sign that reads "Colo Blvd".
As if you can't fucking write "Colorado". For all I know Colo is the Arapahoe word for "water fountain".**
To the games:
This D&B is kinda weak. One fighter (Tekken), no shooters (no Ultracade), very little anything really. So we decided to play the worst games we could (as was our initial intention).
We started with a product from SNK's new playmate, Sammy. That is - Trophy Hunter. A light gun game with a pump shot gun for no fucking reason since the guns you can use are rifles, pistols with scopes and even a bow and arrow.
First round- All Rev. I had this habit of killing the baby animals accidentally. I was out almost immediately with a score of 10.
1 - 0 Rev.
Second round- Rev was peppering all the wildlife in the fucking forrest. We started with a bear hunt and we were taking them down with bows and arrows left and right. One bear I hit twice in the ass and once in the foot. Rev hit it 4 times in the head, great grouping. It was pretty amazing. It was looking grim for me. I was down 10 points at what I thought was the end. In fact, we had a bonus round where I won. Something like 200 to 30. I coasted through and would up winning by a reasonable margin.
1-1 All.
We then tried to find another crappy game. Instead we came across a Missle Command cab. Which we got upon. While I suck at Missle Command and recieved a startingly asswhiping at the hands of Briggs in previous times, I somehow managed to squeek by.
2-1 Blaine.
Next was Qix. Which I had never played before. Turns out...I can play. I won about 15,000 to 9,000. I did my victory dance.
3-1 Blaine.
Next up...Skeeball!...um..well...there wasn't a lot of games we wanted to play. Rev took me down 300 some odd to a lowly 150.
3-2 Blaine.
Then we came back for a little Pump It Up! action time! WOW are we fucking white!! It was sad as hell. I actually wound up getting a shitload of 'good' and 'perfects' but for some reason (I guess the scoring is like Samba de Amigo) I had 0 points. Rev...had 5. Rev ties it up.
3-3 All.
Here's a disapointing moment: Ms. Pacman. Still reeling from my defeat at the hands of Briggs all these months later, I saw Rev initially play a startling round of Ms. Not that I didn't think he could play, but I was rather worried. He ticked in to about 25,000 on his first pac. Normally I can be expected to barely break 100,000. But he was already on my pace but before even getting to the Pear and Banana levels (where points get insane).
Against my initial impression I managed to match his first man success. His second pac was good for about another 20,000 or so. Ditto for mine. I held on to a very tenuous lead at the end of each round. Finally...Rev makes a horrendous mistake and dies almost instantly. Immediately, as we both think I was victorious (since I had a higher score without even playing the next man) I piss around and die pretty fast so we can walk away. But NO! we both had another extra guy!!
Rev. Picks up a banana and clears the next boad and some of the one after.
When I go, I'm doing well. I'm cleaning, I'm clearing. With a power pellet I close in on the 4th ghost for my 1600 points...and he turns.
Game Over.
Rev goes up.
4-3 Rev
Next we played two consecutive games. The sit down and squirt a target and a racecar goes up game? We'll Rev won both despite my best efforts to cheat.
5-3 Rev
Next we played the Flaming Finger redemption game by the good people at Namco. I 'won' the first one, just cause I sorta got the farthest. The second one I actually won won and won the jackpot of tickets. Boo. Ya.
5-4 Rev
Finally we make our way back to Trophy Hunter.
We go Moose Hunting this time. We decide to use the pistol and to only go for head shots. First area, we both immediately shoot the baby moose. No points. Second area...more of the same. In fact, we both ended the game with 0 points. A tie.
So we play some more, this time, doing whatever. I started pulling shots out my ass. The moose is under cover, I fire once and it runs I fire again and drop it. A perfect kill shot. The score shows I hit it first in the foot (I hit it, didn't I?) and then right in the high scoring area. 500 points for me. None for the Rev. We keep playing and thanks to another Bonus round run away. I take yet another victory in Trophy Hunter proving I'm the more Red Necky of the two, unfortunately.
Which ties it up.
5-5 All.
We went to play a game of Tekken but I was low on Credits so I just let Rev play.
Over the playing of redemption games we attained about 225 tickets or so. So we went and spent those. Rev bought 3 Super Balls. I bought 7 little koosh balls (all yellow).
We made our way around trying to find another game but the movie theater was weak and we didnt' see any promising arcades.
So we wound up at a GameSpot/Borders. Hung around. Played a game of "who can find the 'best' books". You had to get 3. Rev won the coin flip and told me to go first.
I opened with Chi Running (how to maintain your chi while running). I guess it was funnier when I picked it up.
Rev countered with Doggie Talk: How to Talk to your Dog.
This was my opening, I reached into my hand and slammed down What Up Dawg?! by American Idols Randy Johnson. Unfortunately Rev saw it before and it didn't matter. The death blow was...
When Rev laid down Coping with Erectile Dysfunction.
It was all over.
All I had left was Jesus, CEO which couldn't stand up to that. Rev finished by laying down The Complete Idiot's Guide To The Bible.
And that was that.
We headed back, took a wrong turn then found out the shut our motherfucking street down. Several turns (including a wrong one that had him and I stuck in this Faustian maze of a 'street') and we were back.
All in all, it was great fun hanging out with Rev. I wish I could do it more often.
* The reason for this part of the story is because I'd like to reccomend Tokyo Joe's to anyone who hasn't been.
** The reason for this part of the story is because I have to vent about the bullshit roads. No doubt concieved by junkies and morons.
Rev and I are both in town on business. We exchanged cellphone numbers and scheduled a meet up. Prior to this, I had already been given the skinny earlier in the day that there was a Dave and Busters off of I-25 (which is where my hotel was near). Interestingly enough, Rev was at the hotel up the street, only a block away and a couple blocks in.
So I called him and picked him up. We started by going to Tokyo Joe's; A great little Japanese Fast Food-ery. I ate there every day I was in Denver. Simple bowls, meat and rice with sauce (I really liked the Oyako sauce with steak). Where we decided we'd go to Dave and Busters (I had steak/Oyako. Rev had steak/Sweet-Aki. We both had a cup of Miso soup).*
Well, as I had the car I did the driving. We were looking for Colorado Blvd. For the record, Colorado has some fucked up roads. More so than normal (for example there are TWO 100%, completely and totally different in every way shape in form, different as in different. Not connected...two roads called "South Yosemite" within 2 fucking miles of each other. Seriously. The direction signs on DTC read at one intersection 'South Yosemite' with an arrow pointed south. ANOTHER interesection has 'South Yosemite' with an arrow pointed east. Idiotic. Get a new fucking name, denver. How about Ed McAffree Lane?). Around exit 220 on I-25 I called Dave and Busters via 411. Which is cheap. The bitch goes 'please hold' and hangs up on me. So I have to call 411 AGAIN and ask where they are. She doesn't know. Asks another dude and he's like "yeah, we're right off of exit 204. Right now Rev. is pissed. But niether one of us saw a sign.
We head back and sure enough there's a sign that reads "Colo Blvd".
As if you can't fucking write "Colorado". For all I know Colo is the Arapahoe word for "water fountain".**
To the games:
This D&B is kinda weak. One fighter (Tekken), no shooters (no Ultracade), very little anything really. So we decided to play the worst games we could (as was our initial intention).
We started with a product from SNK's new playmate, Sammy. That is - Trophy Hunter. A light gun game with a pump shot gun for no fucking reason since the guns you can use are rifles, pistols with scopes and even a bow and arrow.
First round- All Rev. I had this habit of killing the baby animals accidentally. I was out almost immediately with a score of 10.
1 - 0 Rev.
Second round- Rev was peppering all the wildlife in the fucking forrest. We started with a bear hunt and we were taking them down with bows and arrows left and right. One bear I hit twice in the ass and once in the foot. Rev hit it 4 times in the head, great grouping. It was pretty amazing. It was looking grim for me. I was down 10 points at what I thought was the end. In fact, we had a bonus round where I won. Something like 200 to 30. I coasted through and would up winning by a reasonable margin.
1-1 All.
We then tried to find another crappy game. Instead we came across a Missle Command cab. Which we got upon. While I suck at Missle Command and recieved a startingly asswhiping at the hands of Briggs in previous times, I somehow managed to squeek by.
2-1 Blaine.
Next was Qix. Which I had never played before. Turns out...I can play. I won about 15,000 to 9,000. I did my victory dance.
3-1 Blaine.
Next up...Skeeball!...um..well...there wasn't a lot of games we wanted to play. Rev took me down 300 some odd to a lowly 150.
3-2 Blaine.
Then we came back for a little Pump It Up! action time! WOW are we fucking white!! It was sad as hell. I actually wound up getting a shitload of 'good' and 'perfects' but for some reason (I guess the scoring is like Samba de Amigo) I had 0 points. Rev...had 5. Rev ties it up.
3-3 All.
Here's a disapointing moment: Ms. Pacman. Still reeling from my defeat at the hands of Briggs all these months later, I saw Rev initially play a startling round of Ms. Not that I didn't think he could play, but I was rather worried. He ticked in to about 25,000 on his first pac. Normally I can be expected to barely break 100,000. But he was already on my pace but before even getting to the Pear and Banana levels (where points get insane).
Against my initial impression I managed to match his first man success. His second pac was good for about another 20,000 or so. Ditto for mine. I held on to a very tenuous lead at the end of each round. Finally...Rev makes a horrendous mistake and dies almost instantly. Immediately, as we both think I was victorious (since I had a higher score without even playing the next man) I piss around and die pretty fast so we can walk away. But NO! we both had another extra guy!!
Rev. Picks up a banana and clears the next boad and some of the one after.
When I go, I'm doing well. I'm cleaning, I'm clearing. With a power pellet I close in on the 4th ghost for my 1600 points...and he turns.
Game Over.
Rev goes up.
4-3 Rev
Next we played two consecutive games. The sit down and squirt a target and a racecar goes up game? We'll Rev won both despite my best efforts to cheat.
5-3 Rev
Next we played the Flaming Finger redemption game by the good people at Namco. I 'won' the first one, just cause I sorta got the farthest. The second one I actually won won and won the jackpot of tickets. Boo. Ya.
5-4 Rev
Finally we make our way back to Trophy Hunter.
We go Moose Hunting this time. We decide to use the pistol and to only go for head shots. First area, we both immediately shoot the baby moose. No points. Second area...more of the same. In fact, we both ended the game with 0 points. A tie.
So we play some more, this time, doing whatever. I started pulling shots out my ass. The moose is under cover, I fire once and it runs I fire again and drop it. A perfect kill shot. The score shows I hit it first in the foot (I hit it, didn't I?) and then right in the high scoring area. 500 points for me. None for the Rev. We keep playing and thanks to another Bonus round run away. I take yet another victory in Trophy Hunter proving I'm the more Red Necky of the two, unfortunately.
Which ties it up.
5-5 All.
We went to play a game of Tekken but I was low on Credits so I just let Rev play.
Over the playing of redemption games we attained about 225 tickets or so. So we went and spent those. Rev bought 3 Super Balls. I bought 7 little koosh balls (all yellow).
We made our way around trying to find another game but the movie theater was weak and we didnt' see any promising arcades.
So we wound up at a GameSpot/Borders. Hung around. Played a game of "who can find the 'best' books". You had to get 3. Rev won the coin flip and told me to go first.
I opened with Chi Running (how to maintain your chi while running). I guess it was funnier when I picked it up.
Rev countered with Doggie Talk: How to Talk to your Dog.
This was my opening, I reached into my hand and slammed down What Up Dawg?! by American Idols Randy Johnson. Unfortunately Rev saw it before and it didn't matter. The death blow was...
When Rev laid down Coping with Erectile Dysfunction.
It was all over.
All I had left was Jesus, CEO which couldn't stand up to that. Rev finished by laying down The Complete Idiot's Guide To The Bible.
And that was that.
We headed back, took a wrong turn then found out the shut our motherfucking street down. Several turns (including a wrong one that had him and I stuck in this Faustian maze of a 'street') and we were back.
All in all, it was great fun hanging out with Rev. I wish I could do it more often.
* The reason for this part of the story is because I'd like to reccomend Tokyo Joe's to anyone who hasn't been.
** The reason for this part of the story is because I have to vent about the bullshit roads. No doubt concieved by junkies and morons.
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